In Between Lies (8 page)

There
was already a strong connection be
tween them at least on her part.
I
f he just left her out to dry afterwards it would leave a terrible taste in her mouth, once again. Dre’s image flashed before her. Even before Dre, it had bee
n done before and the heartache
was
just
not worth it.

Jasmine used to tell her that she was too sensitive and her problem was that she ‘gave’ to much of herself and that she had to hold back. But when she loved, she loved hard and it had become a major downfall. Trying to get over her insecurities with men and develop a resistance to ‘giving too much’, she’d taken time away from men. She thought she had wrestled the demons
and
left
them
behind, but there was still a small remnant
in her heart.

Actually
,
her whole purpose of finally meeting up with him was to kill off the remains
,
and he was the one who was going to help her do it. Struggling with internal thoughts, she knew this would ultimately happen when she crossed his threshold. Her intentions were to do it and liberate herself. The moment had arrived and it terrified her.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he assured her
.
S
ensing her hesitation, he stopped. “We can take this slow if you want.”

“Of course, you would say that. Put it all on me.” She shuffled her hands through her hair. “So if I do this it will all be on me, right? Is that what you are saying?”

“I am saying that I will wait, that’s all. You know if a man can’t wait until the time is right, then he isn’t the man for you.” Sounded good, he thought, but he actually meant it.  He’d waited, looking into her obviously distraught features. “We need to talk.” He pulled her into the bedroom, sat her on his bed and he grabbed a chair from across the room and placed it in front of her. Sitting before her, he laid out the situation.

“It’s obvious to me that you have not been with any one in a while. And it is obvious that you have been hurt pretty badly in the past. Based on your conversations and tones when we talk about relationships, you have a chilly side. What’s up with that?” he questioned.

“First off, I don’t owe you any explanations as to why I do or say anything, let alone how I feel. We have only known each a short amount of time.” She twisted her hands in a ball in her lap, still somewhat incoherent from his touch. “But since you ask, I will give a little insight….but only if you help me out and tell me about you? Agreed?”

He nodded.

“Yes, I have been burned before as has every other woman out there. I am not looking for a deep commitment right now from anyone, but I am ready to open up and possibly be with someone who could be a potential…without strings attached. You know?  At least no strings in the beginning anyway.”

“And….” he waved his hand as if to say keep it coming.

“And I don’t want to become just another statistic either. Or that once a month chick on the side that is willing and waiting for that call. I am not about that.”

“Sounds to me that you are beating around the bush. Either you want a relationship and just don’t want to quite admit it right now...you just want to test the waters. Or you want to out and out kick it but still know that there could be something in the making and leave that option open? No exclusivity on either partner. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
But then again, maybe you can,
he thought.

“You are missing my point.  Okay, maybe I do want…something.” she gestured with her hands that expressed questioning. “But…I don’t think I am ready for the real thing emotionally. Physically yes, emotionally, no. Or what I am trying to say…what happens…happens, what doesn’t won’t. ”

“Baby, I understand. We are still getting to know each other. We can just relax, chill and enjoy the pleasures we can offer each other in the meantime…at least until we know what we want.” Kevin already knew what he wanted at that moment…to take her in his arms and make her his for the night.

“I am diggin you, in case I need to spell that out. However, I am open to seeing where we go with this too…maybe there will be something there, maybe not. You never know until you try.”

“Try?”

He smiled and moved onto the bed with her. “I am at a point right now where I have put my career first and the possibility of having a relationship second. But like I said earlier, I really like you and I need
A
good woman in my life.”

“Like I said earlier, I am waiting on you. We are both adults and should be able to handle it. So…what are you going to do? We can just do this, no strings attached, no commitments, no questions. Just enjoy each others company
,
if you think that is possible. If you can’t handle it let me know and this can stop right here and right now.” He wanted her to say yes, but
was
still was unsure how she would interpret his actions? Would she think he was low? That was a chance he was willing to take. Hell, you never know until you try.

She nodded with reservations and questions in mind, considering how far she could go with that without emotionally tying herself down with this man. “Can you handle that?” she asked. Can I handle it? Jasmine’s voice jumped right
in
on que. Girl, give that man some vajayjay, do the damn thang…quit playin
’
around!

“As long as you can.”

She hesitated a moment and contemplated the question. Sex partners with no strings attached, huh? She did have to admit, it was testing the waters and she probably would hit a boiling point much sooner than him. Of course, since she was still healing her wounds and was just smoothing out the wrinkles of her heart that Dre
had
caused, she could be opening herself to more problems in the future. On the other hand, she
would
still be able to open up and enjoy her sexual side more freely, with no strings on either side. Why not? Men do it all the time, and with many partners within the same time
frame. Why couldn’t she? S
he had no intention of
sleeping with multiple partners, b
ut he did not have to know anything.

She had to p
ush aside the fact that once she became intimate with him, maybe not for the first couple of times or even the tenth time, there would most defiantly be a unseen bond or attachment. The relationship would be taken to another level whether either of them wanted it to or not. It would be out of their hands. How she chose to deal with it was entirely up to her. Could she ride him out, see what he was about? Or would she crash and burn
before she left the ground
? A multitude of questions bombarded her mind.

She thought of Jasmine again. This time in a different light. Maybe she was right. Maybe she should do this to prove that she was definitely in more control than ever over her feelings and life and no man would ever be able to change that, until she said so.

Sucking in a deep breath and stretching out on her back on his king size bed, she said, “Okay we can do this.”

Reaching over, he touched her hand. Feeling that she had been set free from the mental bondage tha
t she placed on herself,
she
quickly
sat up, faced him, and kissed him, opening herself up to just the beginning of her ride. Determined that she would take it as it c
a
me and make the best of whatever this ‘arrangement’ was, she pulled him down on her.

Kevin realized the decision she’d made was a hard one. Her face projected every multitude of feelings that churned within her. He wondered what made her come to the decision that she did and made the mental note to ask her later on down the road as they were getting to know each other. Not wanting to hurt her
,
he decided that he would try his best to make this arrangement work to both of their advantage
s
. She w
ould
have the male companionship when she craves it and he would have her. He smiled.

Clearing her mind of any negativity that tried to creep in,
Savannah
began to open up more to enjoy his company and how he made her feel. She slowly removed his shirt, exposing his muscular chest. She ran her hands the length of his chest, and further down his torso. The whole time, her eyes never left his. Kevin moved from above her, pulling her to him then stood. Switching places, he sat and placed her directly in front of him. Hot sensations ran the length of her body as he sat and watched her in silence, making her squirm under his intense stare.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, now getting a little self conscious about her half clothed body.

“Nothing. I like to look. Is there anything wrong with that?”

             
“Is that all you like to do?”

             
“No, but you will
find out later. I like a lot
things.
             
She moved closer. Laying her on her back, he quickly removed the rest of her clothing, picking up where he left off before he was stopped
before really getting star
t
ed.
Now
,
both laying naked wrapped in each others arms, the real exploring began.

Kevin roamed every inch of
her
body and she eagerly anticipated his touch. He pressed a trail of kisses around her ear, throat, and neck
until,
finally
,
with his tongue he circled a nipple teasing it to a hard nub. Longing pressed her aggressiveness, causing her to grab his neck and press him closer to her.
As he ran his hands down her sides
reaching the base of her stomach, she arched to urge him further. He trailed his finger
,
lightly caressing her inner thighs then rested his finger inside of her. The moistness that surrounded him excited him, making him want to delve deeper.

             
Now in a sensual daze, she looked down on him. She rubbed and caressed his back, them pulled him up to face her. Her mouth claimed his as she wrapped her arms and legs around him, acknowledging his hardness rubbing stiffly against her. Unable to control her sense of timing, and not wanting to prolong the anticipation of him entering her, she grabbed him and guided him inside of her. It had been months sin
ce she’d been intimate with any
one and the slow build up that he was putting her through was unbearable. With no further instruction from her, he quickly thrust into her. She moaned and arched to meet him each time. A flood of sensations rushed through her.

             
She rubbed his back, feeling the muscles move as he did which further heightened her awareness of him. She wiggled beneath him wildly, matching his quick pace. “I can’t hold it.” She said as her body stiffened from the ecstatic pleasure he was giving her. Just seconds after, he exploded as well.

             
On top of her, he laid until he caught his breath, swearing to himself that he had to keep her indefinitely. She had much potential in the bed and he was going to be the one to bring it out of her.

Chapter 6

Savannah
silently sat at her desk and looked across the golf course. Festive holidays were just around the corner and soon some resolutions were to be made and broken as usual. She’d promised her mother that she would bring a friend by for dinner but had to later tell her that he’d made other plans to be with his family.
Savannah
did not know if Kevin did indeed make plans to be with his family and she didn’t ask. She tried not to make his business hers, feeling that it would ruin what she thought she had with him.

She’d made it through the holidays without adding any extra pounds to her curvy frame, which Kevin loved, especially when she wore scanty or risqué lingerie. What surprised her is that she’d felt comfortable enough with him in such little time that she could be as free as she had become. She reminisced about one occasion when he’d entered into her room to find her undressed down to a skimpy silk leopard print thong with a matching push up bra, and to add a little freak flair she wore a choke collar with clamps and chains attached with handcuffs. She laughed out loud remembering his surprised face because up until that point, she’d been reserved. From that point on he’d made no mistakes in telling her what he wanted her to wear or how to wear it.