In Bed with a Rogue (15 page)

Eve’s doe-eyed gaze pleaded with her to accept. “Surely you can join us, Helena. We have barely spoken all afternoon.”

Helena did feel rather guilty for ignoring her friend, but if she didn’t know better, she might think Eve was conspiring with her brother.

She suppressed a sigh. She hoped she wouldn’t come to regret this. “A stroll sounds lovely, Eve. Thank you.”

***

Sebastian would have to thank his sister once they reached home, although he didn’t delude himself into thinking Eve had asked Helena and Sir Jonathan to join them on a walk for his sake. His sister had linked arms with Sir Jonathan and dragged him several paces ahead the moment they left Lady Norwick’s. Eve’s laugh was a little heartier, her gestures more animated, and when she slanted her head to smile at her escort, the poor man stumbled over his own feet.

“She likes him,” Helena said softly.

“Yes, she is rather obvious, but it’s sweet.”

A slight smile curved Helena’s lips. “Sir Jonathan allowed her to play his drums, even though he wouldn’t put her in a trance. I am sure that says something about his regard for her, too.”

“I’ve no doubt he is smitten, but I’m unfamiliar with the gentleman and his family. Until I know more about him, I will not encourage a match.”

“He seems kind.”

Sebastian’s teeth ground together. She had known Sir Jonathan Hackberry for all of three hours and she had already deemed him kind. And yet Sebastian, who had willingly given his time to help her search for a servant’s sibling, was arrogant. A completely unfounded accusation. He was
confident
. There was a difference.

When ladies began propositioning him at age sixteen, he had known he was different from his friends. Granted, nine years of women fawning over him hadn’t made him humble, but the experience with Gabrielle had knocked him down a few pegs. Now there was Helena, a woman he desired more than any other, and she refused to have anything to do with him, which made no sense.

He glanced sideways at her. Her gaze remained straight ahead and her posture was as stiff as a soldier marching in a parade. Sebastian had never been one to dance around a topic. In fact, he’d been told on occasion he had no tact, but he’d always found asking straight questions usually reaped straight answers.

He cleared his throat. “What impediment keeps you from becoming involved with me? I know you are as attracted to me as I am to you.”

“Sebastian.” Surprise and censorship was clear in that one word.

“Be honest. I deserve the truth.” He held his breath, dreading her answer. If she mentioned anything about his family history of mental frailty, he wasn’t certain he could stand to hear it. Not from her.

Her steps slowed until the gap between them and his sister grew even greater. Eventually, Helena stopped. He turned to face her, preparing for the harsh truth and unsure how he would respond.

“Sebastian.” She forcefully exhaled and a pink flush climbed her face. “It’s
me
. I am the impediment.”

He blinked, not following her.

“I’m afraid.”

“Of me?”

She shook her head. “It’s not like that, at least I’m not afraid of you in the sense you mean. I am afraid of what I might lose if I become involved with you. I never had a moment of freedom until recently and I can’t risk my independence. I just can’t.”

A surge of affection flowed through him. She had nothing to fear from him, and now that he understood her reluctance, his patience returned. “I don’t want to control you, love.”

She gave a rueful laugh. “You would be the only man who hasn’t. First it was my father and then my husband. This is the only time in my life I haven’t had a man making decisions for me, and I’ve found I like that very much.”

“I understand the appeal.”

He wasn’t being sarcastic. Having grown up mostly with his mother and sister for companionship, Sebastian didn’t hold some of the same ideas about ladies and their places in Society as his fellow gents. He believed in protecting and providing for Mother and Eve, but he would never force them into doing something they didn’t agree to. He wanted to ask Helena about her father and husband, so he could reassure her that he was nothing like them, but the middle of the walkway was not a place for such a discussion.

For now, he would just have to prove himself, and he would start by accepting her refusal.

“I promise not to place you in a difficult position again, Lady Prestwick, but know I will be waiting.”
As
long
as
it
takes
.

Despite his father’s long periods of isolation, he had managed to impart some of his values to Sebastian.
Hard
work
and
determination
reaps
rewards
. Determination was in Sebastian’s lifeblood. He had never been one to surrender without a fight or back down from a challenge, but that didn’t mean his only weapon was brawn. He had the advantage of charm and wit, and that was what he needed to win over the ever-more-desirable Helena.

“Shall we?” He offered his arm and a disarming smile.

Her eyes narrowed on him as she accepted his escort. “Thank you, I think.”

“Now, now, Lady Prestwick. No more flattery or I will become too arrogant by half.”

Her smile returned. “Too late, my lord.”

Fourteen

Helena smiled fondly at Eve as Sir Jonathan Hackberry led the young woman to the dance floor. Somehow Sir Jonathan had managed an invitation to Lady Bellwyn’s garden party yesterday, where Eve had spent most of the day paired with him in games, and now he’d made a surprise appearance at Lady Chattington’s ball. He obviously had connections one would not expect a mere baronet to have.

Helena suspected it wouldn’t be long until Sir Jonathan requested an audience with Sebastian. Whether Sebastian would entertain an offer from the gentleman remained to be seen. The stubborn set to his jaw when he had spoken of investigating Sir Jonathan indicated he would leave no stone unturned. Not that Helena could blame him after Eve’s disastrous engagement to Mr. Benjamin Hillary.

But if Sir Jonathan proved to be a worthy suitor for Eve, what might that mean for Helena? If Eve made a match, Helena would have fulfilled her part of the agreement with Sebastian. She had no way of holding him to his side, and she didn’t have another gentleman to take his place. Her stomach churned and she took several deep breaths to rein in her worry. Sebastian had given his word, and he’d done nothing to make her question his honor. She owed him the benefit of the doubt.

She sensed Sebastian’s approach before he spoke. Prickles raced along her skin as if every inch of her was aware of him.

“May I have this dance, Lady Prestwick?”

She glanced sideways at him, her heart sputtering a moment before recovering its steady rhythm. Giving him the benefit of the doubt did not require her to dance with him. His touch would only complicate things and muddle her thoughts.

He held out his gloved hand, and she placed hers in his. Her fingers tingled and she swayed into him.

He caught her by the elbow, smiling down at her. “Careful.”

Good Lord, she was trying to be cautious, but he had an invisible pull on her that made resisting him impossible.

He led her to the dance floor as the quartet began a waltz. She sighed softly when his hand pressed against her back. Her mind might believe it was unwise to be so close to him, but her body clearly disagreed. When his fingers wrapped around hers to guide her along the parquet floor, it was as if a lost piece of her had returned.

“You look beautiful tonight, madam.” His eyes flared like the black star sapphire ring he always wore.

She mumbled her thanks, uncertain if her dry mouth had formed the correct words.

He urged her closer as they twirled, her head spinning just as fast. She caught a glimpse of Eve laughing with Sir Jonathan.

“Eve may have an offer soon,” she said. “Did you learn anything about the gentleman?”

“He seems aboveboard. Although he has been out of the country much of the time, his estate is in good condition and yields a decent yearly income. He is not squandering his fortune with his travels.”

“It sounds as if you’ve made a decision already.”

He shrugged. “It’s not my decision to make. If Eve chooses to accept him, I would have no qualms about negotiating a contract with the gentleman.”

Her eyebrows shot up. It was hard to imagine a man who would allow his sister a choice, and yet he met her gaze directly. There was no guile behind his dark eyes. Her heart skipped.

Helena had been given no choice when Wickie had come to their door to claim her. She had been fifteen and acting as a mother to her four younger sisters. Her father woke early that morning, stumbling into the kitchen looking like Lazarus raised from the dead. In a rare show of kindness, he had smiled at her. She should have known then something was amiss. Instead, she had returned to stirring the morning porridge with Little Gracie on her hip. Her baby sister had been teething and fussy, and refused to allow anyone but Helena to hold her.

Lavinia, Cora, and Pearl’s happy chatter at the battered kitchen table had stopped when their father entered the room. Cora and Pearl had watched him with distrust in their almost identical blue eyes.

When the knock came at their front door, bile had risen in her throat. It was the same every time her father played at the tables. She had beaten her father to the door, eager to bargain with the debt collector to save their meager belongings, but it wasn’t their usual type of visitor.

The pain slicing into her heart had nearly doubled her over when she learned what her father had done. With tears blurring her vision, she had turned to Lord Prestwick before climbing into his travel coach.
Please, if I cannot stay, could my sisters come too?

He’d lightly grasped her chin and smiled sadly.
I
only
need
one
of
you, Miss Kendrick. You will have a better life with me. You’ll have no regrets.

Wickie had lied, of course. Or perhaps he didn’t know the meaning of regret. Or family. Or heartbreaking grief that stripped one of hope. It felt like the ultimate betrayal that she had grown to care for him in the end.

Sebastian’s lips gently touched her ear. “The music has ended, love.”

“Oh!” She blinked, embarrassed to have been lost in her thoughts and feeling awkward just standing there, gripping his hand as if he were her lifeline.

***

Sebastian didn’t want to release Helena. She had the most haunted look on her face, and it took every bit of his self-discipline to refrain from pulling her into his arms. He recognized that look. His father had gotten a similar look when anyone mentioned the Irish Rebellion. Only once had Father spoken to Sebastian of his days in the cavalry. Sebastian’s grandfather had been boasting of his son being a war hero and Father pulled Sebastian aside.

I’m no hero, Son.

Sebastian still recalled the haunted vacancy in his father’s stare.

What terrible things could have happened to Helena to account for that same vacant look? His thumb brushed against the bare curve of her shoulder blade, slowly bringing her back from wherever her mind had taken her. “Let’s take refreshment.”

She nodded and dropped hands, but he retrieved hers and slipped it through the crook of his elbow. He worried she might need the support to stay on her feet. He led her toward a smaller sitting room off the great room where Lady Chattington served punch in silver cups and sweets on delicate china plates. Sebastian retrieved two drinks, handed one to Helena, then guided her to a vacant settee in the corner.

People entered and left the refreshment room in a steady stream, too caught up in their own goings-on to pay attention to them.

His knuckles grazed her leg. “Do you wish to talk about what is troubling you?”

She crossed her arms tightly across her waist as if creating a shield around herself. Something was definitely out of sorts this evening. He held his tongue while he waited for her to determine if she wanted to confide in him. Her eyes cleared and she offered a slight smile. “Forgive me for being such poor company, my lord.”

Very
well.
She didn’t want to discuss it, and he understood it wasn’t the most appropriate place for an intimate conversation. “Someday, if you wish to tell me what has caused you such sorrow, I pledge to keep your confidence. You may tell me anything, Helena.”

She sighed and slowly unfolded her arms. “I believe you, truly I do, but it is nothing I want to remember. Would it be acceptable to change the subject?”

“Of course.”

Her gaze darted to his and she licked her lips. “Please, don’t take this the wrong way, but I cannot help wondering what will happen once your sister has an offer of marriage, what that will mean for us.”

He grinned. “Well, we will no longer be forced to attend the assemblies, which should leave more time to look for your Lavinia.”

The worry lines on her forehead disappeared. “I wasn’t certain our partnership would continue.”

“Before I’ve fulfilled my end? You hold a poor opinion of me, Lady Prestwick.”

“Not of you, Lord Thorne. Of men as a whole, with the exception of Fergus. He has proven to be a very loyal sort.”

Sebastian cocked an eyebrow. “And? Haven’t I earned my place as your loyal champion yet?”

She chuckled softly, her face losing the last signs of tension. “I suppose you have. Forgive me for doubting you.”

“I meant what I said earlier. If you ever want to tell me what those men did to turn you against all of us…”

She shrugged one shoulder. “I would rather forget about it.”

Only she hadn’t forgotten. Even if she didn’t dwell on the specific ways she had been mistreated, these men who had come before him colored her decisions. Their acts made her wary and kept her isolated and alone.

His hand found hers between them on the settee. “I will never hurt you, Helena. You have my word.”