Impulses (21 page)

“Sam––”

“Shush…” I press my index finger against his lips, and continue to trail it down his chin, his throat, to the small exposed V of his chest. Amid our synchronized movements, we watch how our eyes betray our thoughts, our desires, enraptured by glinting and darkening irises. We both free the ties of the robes allowing them to fall open before guiding and pushing the material down one another’s arms to meet their fate in a fluffy pool around us. I can feel the burning heat from the fire beside me, heating at my surfaces while Hayden’s unwavering scrutiny heats and liquefies my insides.

Hayden swings his legs from under himself. I take my position above him, my knees resting on either side of his hips. I writhe and groan as sweet sensations spawn from my clitoris and streaks through my needing body as it grazes over Hayden’s growing firmness beneath me. Swiftly encircling my waist, he positions himself at my entrance.

I want to talk, to say something, but I capture my lip in the vice-like grip of my teeth, and Hayden’s mouth forms the perfect O when I lower myself onto him at a tantalizingly slow pace. I treasure the sensations as I take his length inch-by-inch, feeling his body stretching me, owning me. Hayden answers my moans with feral like sounds that spur me and in some strange way, connects with my unspoken emotional state.

He tilts his pelvis upward and I still myself at his base. I circle my hips as he buries himself inside me, drowning in the fullness, and the sensation of him pushing against me. For once in my life, I welcome this uncharted level of intimacy––I need this level of intimacy, for it speaks the words that I cannot.

The blended red and orange flickering colors of the flames to my right glow against our flesh as I continue to rock onto him. Framing his face in the heats of my hands, he falls under my attentive gaze, and in that moment, we are not only gazing into each other’s eyes…we are gazing into each other’s souls.

Everything is intensified. The furrowing of Hayden’s brow as the air hisses between his teeth, the small O his mouth forms as I tense my thighs to raise me, and relax as I slide back down onto him, our arduous breaths, and the flicks of our tongues dashing across our lips between the sweet, gentle moans of pleasure. I have never experienced something as special as this. It’s something I’ll never forget. It’s something I want to experience again.

His right hand is at the nape of my neck, while his left rests at the small of my back.

“Kiss me,” he whispers. I comply immediately, melding my lips with his, our tongues caress with prolific tenderness, a tenderness that is so incredibly expressive.

Feeling myself build and stiffen, I pull my mouth away from his. My legs are trembling as I continue to claim him before the crackling flames. I throw my head back absorbing all of the sensations that is being bestowed on my body, while also absorbing and communicating those in which are raging like wildfire throughout my body.

Watching each other nearing our release, Hayden propels his hips upward once again before stilling and I quiver on top him, watching the pleasure returned in the other’s eyes whilst we climax together. For the first time ever, as my highly sensitized, sated body spirals back from its pleasurable release, the dam bursts and my face is soon stained with tears, as I weep irrepressibly.

“Hey…hey, beautiful…” Hayden whispers on an outward breath, pushing hair back from my shoulders, before catching my falling tears. “I didn’t hurt you did I?” he sounds alarmed.

I shake my head.

“Then, what’s the matter…?”

Unable to form the words, I cry even harder. The swelling in my throat, in my gut…in my heart grows more and more distinctive.

Still buried deep inside me, Hayden infolds me his arms, and pulls me down to him. “I don’t like seeing you like this, beautiful…please, tell me.” He kisses the top of my head, rhythmically rocking us in an attempt to appease me.

I sniffle, and the reality of––what if he doesn’t feel the same way about me––niggles to the front of my mind. I suddenly feel nauseous and the fear of the vulnerability I would feel declaring my feelings fades, only to be replaced by the fear of rejection, of disappointment.

“I––” I sigh, “Oh, Hayden…” I hesitate, but the caring expression he is displaying demonstrates his patience. “You have made this so special for me.” I rest my hand against the side of his face amorously, wishing I could read what lies behind his passionate, glazing eyes.
I can do this…I can do
this.
“I…I…”

And it is Hayden’s turn to press his index finger upon my lips. He hushes me at once, then nods, acknowledging my hesitancy but interpreting the underlining reason of my motives, before whispering, “Me, too.”

***

I smile at the picture I hold in my hands, my fingers tracing down our smiling faces, as we sit at the steps of Vernal Falls, the end of the rainbow blending into the mist of the uprising water of the fall. I glance over at my alarm clock, 5:25 a.m. My eyes feel dry and my eyelids heavy. I still have another two hours before the alarm sounds. Leaning over to my bedside, I turn the lamp off, and snuggle back down under the fluffy comforter. Hayden may not be here with me physically tonight, but, I have the next best thing.

And with that, I clutch my photo frame between firm hands and rest it on my chest, carrying my happy reminiscences as I drift.

It feels as though I have only just closed my eyes for a split second by the time the alarm sounds its annoying, piercing buzzing sound. Dammit! I slam my left hand down on the top of it and luckily enough, the alarm stops. I would have no reservation about throwing the damn thing against the wall this morning. I groan, today is going to be
Hell
. I’m a nightmare when I don’t get enough sleep.

Looking down at my chest, I find I’m still clinging onto my photo. I glance at it once more and see Hayden’s beautiful face smiling back at me. Pushing myself out of the bed, I stagger into the shower wearing nothing but a sleepy-smile.

Oh, that man can make me smile through anything.

“Coffee, sweetie?” Jessie offers from behind the breakfast bar as I exit my bedroom and grace the hallway with my overly loud heeled pumps clacking on the flooring.

“Please.” I set my cream purse on the dining-table as I stride towards the white countertop. Smoothing my knee length, navy shift dress with a cream central-paneling over my hips and sweeping my hair behind my shoulders so it tumbles down my back, I slid myself on the cold surface of the stool.

Jess places my mug in front of me and steps back to resume her previous position, resting the small of her back against the opposite kitchen counter.

I blow into my beverage before taking a cautious sip. In the periphery of my vision, I detect her hands encircling her cup, and she goads me with her big green eyes. Only Jessie could make me sing like a canary with one simple look.

“What’s with the look?” I ask feeling lost between amusement and worry.

“You know.” She takes a mouthful of her hot beverage, refusing to break her annoying yet comical gaze from me.

Curiosity rears its ugly head. I shake my head and shrug my shoulders simultaneously, completely baffled as to what it is I apparently know. “You got me, Jess. I have no idea of what you are referring to, and it is far too early for guess-what-I-know. I have to be in work in…” I glance down at my gold link watch; the Mother of Pear face shows white, green and pinks at the slightest movement. “…Forty-five minutes.” Propping my elbows on the cool, smooth surface, I return to my morning caffeine fixation.

“You have been in in this relationship with Hayden for one whole month, Sammy.” She beams with sisterly pride, before pointing her index finger at me. “You didn’t think you could do it, but you have, and you are.”

Embarrassed, I concentrate on the swirling hot contents in my cup.

“You look so much better for it, sweetie. Your self-esteem is uncovering itself from that entire hedgerow it’s been isolated with for all these years.” Sauntering around the corner of the bar, she joins me at the stool. Planting a kiss on my just made-up cheek, she slides herself on the vacant seat. “I’m so proud of you, Sammy.”

We chat lightly about Jessie’s plans for the day while I’m at work. Unsurprisingly, she is dedicating her afternoon to drooling over Matt, the music store guy…again. I can’t help but marvel why Jessie doesn’t take her own valued advice. I have never understood why sometimes, the best advice comes from people who wouldn’t necessarily attempt it themselves.

“Samantha, can I see you in my office.” Hayden summons me over the reception phone, his voice velvet and dripping with superiority. It’s beyond sexy. I blush as realization hits me full force in the face once again…I am fucking my boss.

Oh, my,
my subconscious fans at her face and neck franticly while crossing her legs and squirming in her seat.

“Certainly, Mr. Wentworth,” I purr, setting the receiver back in its cradle. I feel the familiar daring knot form in the pit of my stomach, and it escalates with every step I take down the corridor to Hayden’s office.

Gingerly, I tap on the door, quickly smoothing over my dress and pushing my hair back behind my shoulders.

“Come,” his voice ricochets through the doorway to my ear. My insides dissolve as I push open the door, step into the office and close it securely behind me.

“Well, if you’re offering…” I purr with daring seductiveness, my legs crossed at the ankles while I rest my back against the barrier. With my eyes glimmering with mischievous intentions, I arch my brow, and winkle the bridge of my nose quickly and playfully in the way that Hayden loves.

“Do not tempt me, Miss Kennedy.” He pushes himself back into his leather chair behind his desk, goading me, inciting me solely by his demeanor, by demonstrating the degree of authority he holds behind his desk, in his office, at his law-firm. Damn it’s heady.

Striving for nonchalance, I knit my fingers together and hang them in front of my lower abdomen. With well measured control, I stride across the luxurious beige carpet to his desk––emphasizing the sway of my hips with every step I take.

“Temptation cannot exist without the agreement of desire and opportunity, Mr. Wentworth.”

“Words of truth, Miss Kennedy,” he smirks, grazing his tongue over his lips, and my heart instantly ceases in my chest.

Walking around the oversized, mahogany bureau, I lean against the right corner upon Hayden’s side. The coolness and robustness of the wood presses against my tailbone, my arms support my weight as I grasp at the framing of the wood at my sides. The view really is beautiful from his office.

Hayden pushes back further, sinking further into the leather. It cracks and squeaks beneath the shifting of his weight.

“For what reason do you summon me away from my work, Mr. Wentworth?” I purr, inclining my head to the right, eyes wide and ingenuous. My shoulders lift as I sink into the support of my arms, and I capture my lower lip between my teeth.

“Firstly…I love this dress.” He appraises me greedily, like a child desperate to open his Christmas present. With one elbow propped on the arm of the chair, he strokes the edge of his index finger across his bottom lip, while weaving his pen effortlessly between his expert fingers of his right hand.

“Stop undressing me with those greedy, lustful eyes,” I demand, and he twists his mouth with conceited pleasure, fully aware of the effect he has on my body when he stares at me in that way and damn proud of it––arrogant bastard.

I will make him pay for this…somehow.

“You haven’t forgotten about tonight, right?” I deviate from the topic. Hayden’s expression changes dramatically into one of utter confusion. Rolling my eyes, I sigh, making my annoyance evident.

“I’m joking, beautiful! Of course I haven’t forgotten. You and me, meal at your place––how could I forget?”

Yes, I definitely, need to make him pay,
my subconscious flicks through her lover’s revenge manual in search for ideas.

Leaning forward, I pin him in his seat as I rest my left hand on the cold, leather-sheathed arm of his chair. My fingertips of my right hand trace the wrinkles lengthening from his eyes.

“Be careful; you’ll get crow’s feet,” I whisper, smoothing over the delicate, creasing skin.

He scowls.

Removing my fingers from his premature wrinkles, I fist my right hand through his hair, disguising his side parting as his floppy locks are pushed back, but soon the dividing returns, and his hair resumes its natural, sexy look.

I lose myself in his commendable, smouldering glare and feel that familiar tightening of my muscles calling out for Hayden’s ability to satisfy the swelling ache. I breathe him in deeply, how I yearn to taste him, to run my tongue against his jaw, his neck, his…

Gliding his hand down the side of my face, he whispers. “What time tonight, beautiful?”

“7:00 p.m.?” I reply after a beat. He brushes his thumb across my mouth, I gasp and my lips part slightly with desperate need.

“7:00 p.m. it is then,” he answers, his salacious smirk filled with promise leaves me wanting, and having to kerb the throbbing between my legs for another three hours. I eagerly begin to countdown the minutes until I can savor Hayden’s naked body working to alleviate my inaccessible itch.

I have irrefutably had my self-control tried for the last three hours, since Hayden had called upon me. No matter how many phone calls I take, or how much I check, photocopy, and file, I cannot get my mind out of the metaphorical gutter. Every single, innocent remark that caresses my ears has the devil on my shoulder tainting it into something sexual, hot and sinful. I blame Hayden. Yes––damn you, Hayden Wentworth––you yield far too much power over me…over my body.

“Are you coming, Sam?” Chloe inquires, gathering her purse and checking its contents.

“I have something I need to do before I go.” I reply, having concocted a plan to get under Hayden’s skin and teach him a lesson for his earlier inappropriate, remarks and stares.

“Okay then, well, I hope you enjoy the rock-climbing, and I want to hear everything about it on Monday, okay.” She strides to the double, frosted glass doors.