Impossibly Love (11 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Branden

     
I stormed into Doctor Henderson’s
office
while he was
meeting with another patient. “Let’s do it!” I declared. Their eyes shot up at
me in surprise.

     The woman reached
over shakily and took her purse from the empty seat next to her, getting up
afterwards.

     Doctor
Henderson apologized to her, “I’m so sorry, Faye, please—”

     “That’s
alright,” She affirmed. “Our meeting is over. I know what I have to do.” Faye
gave me a somber look before walking out of the office.

     Exhaling, I
moved over to one of the leather seats in front of his dark wooden table and
sat down. “Sorry about that.”

     Doctor
Henderson frowned, and then sank back in his chair. “It’s alright. She was
about to leave, anyway. It’s too bad I couldn’t do much for her.” He removed
his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

     “Are you
alright, doc?” I asked.

     “It’s been a
long day.” He eased forward and folded his wrists on top of the table, as if
transporting back to reality. “Now, what was it that made you barged in like
that?”

     “Oh, right…”
I lowered my eyes and took a deep breath. “Let’s go through with the second
surgery. I’ll do it.”

     His eyes
widened. “I see. I’ll have to discuss this with your parents as well—”

     “I’m
nineteen. It’s my decision,” I reminded him.

     Doctor
Henderson got up from his chair and began pacing the room. “I know, but it’s
something I’d like to discuss with your entire family. After all, Branden, it
is
risky. Your father told me he was going to tell you about the dangers of the
second surgery, even though your Mother is in denial about it.”

     I slouched
back in the brown, leather seat, pondering on his words. Doctor Henderson
walked over to the window and glanced down at the street below. “If you don’t
mind me asking, why did you make this decision so abruptly?”

     I closed my
eyes for a moment and envisioned her face. I had decided impulsively to end
things with Moya because I’d given up on myself. I didn’t realize how deeply
she cared for me until yesterday when she’d told me she liked me. Not love, but
it was enough. Damn, I’d been so stupid. How could I’ve believed I would be
able to walk away from her? “Because I love her so much, and I want to be with
her.”

     Doctor
Henderson’s brows shot up.
“For a girl, Branden?
That’s hardly logical. This is a decision that must be made in good mental
state and obviously you’re not in the right one if you’re willing to risk your
life over a girl.”

     I sprang
from the seat and pounded my hand on top of the desk. “She’s not just some
girl. I told you, I love her. She means the world to me and I want to do this
surgery for a chance at a life with her. I know there’s a possibility I won’t
make it. But at least, for Moya, I want to try.”

     The moment I
said her name, the past weeks I’d come in contact with her flashed through my
mind. That fiery glare in her eyes when she stood her ground at not letting me
in, to the yearning way in which she held on to me when we kissed for the first
time. I had to take the risk. I had to be with Moya.

     Doctor
Henderson breathed and interrupted my thoughts. I almost forgot I was in his
office. He moved from the window and went back to his chair. “Have you told her
about your condition then?”

     I shook my
head.

     “I think you
should. If you love her this much then you owe it to yourself and her. Not
trying to sound pessimistic, especially since I’m a doctor. Still, just in
case, Branden, tell her.”

     What Doctor
Henderson said made a lot of sense. I should have told Moya everything the
moment I realized she felt the same way about me. But I was too afraid. And
what if the surgery failed? How could I put her through so much pain?

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Moya

     
I’d cried myself to sleep when I got
home
from
Harrington. When I woke up in the morning, my eyes were swollen, and my face
was a mess when I glanced at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

     I tried
really hard not to waste my thoughts on Branden and keep myself busy. But I had
no idea it’d be that hard. How could I have allowed myself to fall so deeply
for someone in such a short time? I had to snap back to my old self fast.

     After taking
a shower and getting dressed to go to the interview at the Jewelry store, I met
Momma in the kitchen making breakfast. She watched me with great concern as I
sat at the table. “You wanna tell me about it, baby? I heard you crying last
night.”

     I exhaled.
“It’s nothing. I…didn’t do as well on a quiz as I’d hoped.”

     She placed a
plate of toast and scrambled eggs before me, taking a seat at the table as
well. “Moya Jeanine Douglas. I brought you into this world, clothed you, fed
you, and raised you for nineteen years. You think I don’t know when something’s
wrong and when my baby girl is lying to me?”

     Momma
lowered her head and lifted an eyebrow. “Talk to me.”

     I took up
the fork and played with my breakfast. “There’s this guy….a guy I thought was
different. I thought…” I wasn’t even sure anymore what I thought about Branden,
maybe that he felt the same way about me.

     When I
looked up from the plate, Momma’s eyes were widened with surprise, a broad grin
plastered on her mouth. “So that’s what this is about. You’ve found yourself a
boy and have fallen in love. Well, thank you Lord, Moya Douglas has finally
unlocked that precious heart of hers.”

     I snapped.
“Momma, I’m not in love. That’s not the point, either. He pushed me away. I
thought we had something, but it was a lie. He ended it before it even began!
And now I feel so...” I searched for the word.

     “Hurt,”
Momma finished for me. She rested her hand on top of mine. “Oh, baby girl, I’m
sorry it turned out that way.” She started to pat my head. “Well, what happened
exactly? Tell me about it.”

     “Never
mind,” I sprang from the chair. “I gotta get to my interview. Don’t want to be
late.” I was hurrying to get out of the house because if I started talking
about Branden, I’d risk crying all over him again.

     “Oh, that’s
right. Who’d you get an interview with, baby? You never told me exactly.” She
asked.

     I took my
plate from the table and brought it over to the sink. “A jewelry store around
here called
My Love’s Finest
. Is that where you got my necklace, Momma?”

     She didn’t
answer. There was a long pause so I turned to see what was wrong. Her face was
frozen. Momma’s eyes seemed vacant and her lips trembled as she fought for
words to speak.

     I walked
over and rubbed her shoulder. “Momma, are you alright?”

     She got up
from the table abruptly and clenched my arms as she exclaimed, “You can’t go
there!”

     “What?” I
laughed in my confusion, the sound short and nervous. “I’ve been trying to find
a job and finally when I get an opportunity, you don’t want me to go?” I
sighed. “Momma, if this is about school, I won’t let it interfere—”

     “It’s not
that,” she breathed. “Listen to me, there’s something you should know…something
I’ve kept from you.” Her voice started to sound shaky. She was really making me
worry with the frightened look in her eyes.

     Momma
blurted out all at once, “That necklace, it was a gift from…he really wanted
you to have it and I felt guilty for being so spiteful to him all those years
…I wanted to make it right…”

     I didn’t
understand a word she was saying.

     I gently
took her hand and led her back to one of the chairs at the oval table. “Momma,
relax.” I sat down beside her. “Now, what are you trying to tell me?”

     She brushed
my cheek lovingly. “I shouldn’t have pushed him away.” Tears ran down her
cheeks. “I stopped him from seeing you all those years. It was my fault. Your
Daddy, he made that necklace for you. I knew you wouldn’t accept it if I told
you it was from him so I lied and said I got it. It was all my doing, making
you hate him so much.”

     I couldn’t
believe my ears. “My necklace is really from my
father
?” The man that
abandoned me; the man I’d been angry with for so long and sworn never to forgive,
yet here I was wearing his necklace for two years without knowing it.

     “What?
How?”
I whimpered.

     “He bought
you presents, he even stopped by the house sometimes but I chased him away. I
was so mad at him for leaving me that I punished him by keeping you two apart
all that time.” She buried her face in her hands and cried. “I’m so sorry,
baby.”

     “You lied to
me.” Realization hit me hard. Momma was the reason I was so mad at my Dad. When
she cursed him, I did the same. When she hated him for breaking her heart, I
did too. Why? Because she was my Momma and I loved her more than anything in
the world.

     She lied to
me.

     Momma had
been lying all that time.

     My chest
started to heave. Anger grew within me so much it began to seep out in sobs, “I
can’t believe you kept him out of my life, even when you saw me hurting so
badly, even those birthdays when I cried for him to be there. You lied!” I
gritted my teeth. “How could you do that? How could you make him out to be a
bad person? How could you make me hate him?” I cried even more, getting to my
feet. “How could you make me believe he didn’t love me?”

     I couldn’t
stop screaming at her. She was my Momma. I never raised my voice at her like
that before. Right then, I was disappointed in her for what she’d done. Not
only for preventing a good relationship with my father, but for causing me to
be too afraid of trusting any man.

     “Oh, baby.”
She stood as well and tried to cloak me with her arms. “I wish there was a way
I could fix it. Only, you were always so mad whenever I brought him up—”

     “Whose fault
is that?” I pushed her hands away. “What if I didn’t get this interview at his
jewelry store? Would you have said anything at all?”

     Momma eased
away from me and placed her hands on top of her head. “Baby, please, let’s
talk
calmly about this. I could invite him over if you
want—”

     “No! What’s
the point now? You’ve already destroyed every part of me that needed him when I
was younger. All that’s left is hate. There’s nothing you can do now.” I rushed
past her and around the corner to my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me.

     I fell to my
knees, crying. Getting that upset with Momma and hearing how wrong I’d been
about my father all came flooding down on me. I wanted more than ever to be
held and comforted.

     I wanted
Branden.

     I took my
cell phone out my pocket and brought his number up on the screen. But why would
I call
him
? After all, he had cowardly backed away from my feelings.

     I started to
remember how much it hurt when he told me he couldn’t be with me, then fresh
tears burned my eyes, mixing with the ones already there.

     I could call
my best friend for support. Then again, I didn’t have the strength to explain
it all to Vanessa. I would coil up in a ball on my bedroom floor instead, and
cry my heart out. Eventually, the pain would go away. Soon I’d grow numb to it.

    
Unexpectedly, my phone started to vibrate. I decided to ignore the call,
thinking it was probably Teresa, calling from my
father’s
jewelry store.
When I checked the screen, though, my heart felt as if it was going to leap out
of my chest.

     Branden was
calling me.

     I wanted to
answer. My heart guided my fingers to the screen. Then my head regained control
and I ignored him. No one was going to trample on my feelings and assumed I
would still pick up his calls.

     Why was he
calling me, anyway? Did he suddenly have a change of heart? No way. I refused
to be toyed with. Branden would know exactly how it felt to be left hanging on,
alone.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Branden

     
I wasn’t surprised when Moya ignored
my call
. Who was I
kidding?  After what I’d said to her, why would she ever speak to me again?
That sucked a lot, especially since my surgery was scheduled only three days
away.

     I had
discussed it with Doctor Henderson without my parents. That didn’t go so well
when I told them I made the decision in their absence. After seeing my chest
scan from the last visit, it was imperative I did the surgery soon before the
flooded channel erupted.

     My chances
of recovery were slim, they had to work closely to my heart; but I had to go
through with the surgery. First, I had to tell Moya. If the surgery wasn’t
successful and I ended up dying, at least she’d know how I felt about her, that
I loved her.

     Feeling
tired from lying in bed all day staring at the empty ceiling, I went downstairs
to get a snack from the kitchen and watch television. I ruffled through the
cupboards, only spotting organic chips and fiber bars. I hated those. When I
got to the refrigerator, I glimpsed Mom out of the corner of my eye, sitting
out back alone. She was staring into space.

     I closed the
fridge after finding nothing of interest in there as well, and then walked
outside and sat down next to her.

     She looked
startled, seeing me. “Branden, are you alright? Do you need something?”

     I squeezed
her hand. “Mom, I’m alright. Why do you always ask me that?”

     Mom sank
deeper in the chair, her eyes closed from exhaustion. “Because I’m your mother,
Branden, and I want to take care of you.”

     We stayed
quiet for a while, the sound of crickets reverberating around us. I was about
to get up and leave her with her thoughts, when suddenly, Mom gripped my hand
and I slid back in the chair.

     “I wasn’t
upset when Doctor Henderson told me what you wanted to do, only afraid it might
not work.” She said.

     A tear ran
down her cheek and I wiped it away, hugging her right after. “It’ll be okay,
Mom. I’ll be okay. You’ll see.”

     When I
released her, Mom smiled weakly. I took her hand and we both walked back inside
the house. Leaving her at the bottom of the stairs, I headed up toward my room.

     She called
out in an afterthought, “Branden, Doctor Henderson told me the real reason
behind your decision. I’m actually surprised at how I’m taking it. I’m not
troubled at all.”

     I rotated and
looked down at her. Mom continued, “That girl, Moya, when I saw the look in her
eyes that night we were in Berlin Heights, I think I knew then she had impacted
your world someway.”

     Mom tilted
her head and smiled sincerely before going into the living room. I wasn’t sure
where that came from, but I was glad she hadn’t fumed about me wanting to risk
death for a girl.