Imperfections (43 page)

What the hell? I'm not jealous of her. I've never been a day in my life. "You're delusional; you want a man who doesn't even like you. This baby was an unexpected accident from a one-night stand. He doesn't want you."

"Catherine, stop it right now!" my mother screams at me impatiently.

"And he wants you? Is that what he told you, Cat? You can spread your legs as far and wide as you want but he will be back here with me and his child. I'm going to be the mother of his child, not you."

I'm so angry at her the words are coming out of my mouth before I have a chance to think. "You might be carrying his child but he doesn't love you. He loves me. You weren't even a choice, you were a mistake just like that bab—" my mother stops me before I finish saying the words I know I will regret later.

"Catherine Reed, you stop this! Right now! How could you do this to your sister?"

"You didn't hear anything I said, did you?" I say to my mother.

"I don't need to, you are out of line. I don't know who you are. The daughter I raised would never do anything like this. You slept with her fiancé, the father of her child, what were you thinking? Do you know how this makes me and this family look?"

"I'm sure you're going to tell me." She looks at me disapprovingly as she continues to blast me with her anger.

"It looks like I raised a daughter with no morals. You're running around here acting loose like a little slut in heat."

"Well, Mother, if I'm a slut, you must be a two-dollar whore."

Before I know what's coming my way she rears back, slapping me so hard across my face I'm momentarily stunned. Kate's hand flies over her mouth in shock. I close my eyes against the stinging pain in my face from the impact of the slap across my cheekbone. When I'm finally able to look at my mother the fury in her eyes is mixed with what one would consider concern.

Too bad she wasn't concerned enough to say anything else other than, "How dare you speak to me that way in my house?"

How dare I speak to her like that? How dare she act like she has never committed a sin in her entire life? When she has committed the greatest sin of all to her family. I'm going to show her how much alike we truly are.

"It amazes me how self-righteous you are, Mother. You are no better than me, if anything, what you have done is far greater of an embarrassment to this family."

"I have never done anything to disgrace this family."

"I think having an affair with one of your husband's friends and getting pregnant with his twins would be called the height of embarrassment and disgrace."

My mother gasps, disbelieving. All the color is instantly drained from her face. The shock and terror on her face and Kate's is palpable.

"I don't think anything I've done could surpass that."

"How did you know?"

"I found out the same time Kate and Chris did. I overheard you telling Grandmother how Chris and Kate found their original birth records in a safe you forgot to lock. How their father left you when he found out you were pregnant and you had to beg Daddy to take you back. He loved you so much he took you back and agreed to raise the babies as his own."

I look at Kate who is looking at me with fire burning in her eyes. All these years I knew Daddy wasn't her biological father but I didn't say anything to anyone. No one else in my family knows. When my mother was pregnant with Kate and Chris, Jay was a little boy. He must remember what happened, that's why he is so protective over our family and he always stresses the fact no one should come between us and break us apart. I think that's the reason he tried so hard to hold on to his own family with Vanessa and Sasha.

"I was never jealous of you, Kate. I knew why Daddy gave you everything you wanted and asked for. That was his way of showing you how much he loved you even though you weren't his biological daughter. It didn't matter that we had different fathers, I loved you the same way I did before I found out the truth. I didn't know how much you disliked me because I was Daddy's biological daughter until now."

I refuse to cry in front of them. I feel the tears stinging my eyes and my voice is breaking with every sentence.

"I'm leaving, I can't stay here anymore."

"Good, I think that would be for the best, right, Mother?" Kate says to her.

"I have to tell your father everything."

"No, you won't, Mother. I was there for the end of your telephone call to Grandmother. If you tell him about any of this, I will tell him the rest of the story."

"You wouldn't."

"Yes, I would. When I find a place to stay I will send for my things. I'm sure you can come up with something to tell Daddy about why I left. He loves his devoted wife so much he will believe almost anything you say."

She doesn't say anything. Neither does Kate. I take a look at them before I leave. This is not my home anymore. It's my childhood home filled with memories of good times and love. As an adult it's filled with nothing but secrets, lies and regrets.

I didn't make it to the school that day. I ended up walking in the cold for hours thinking about what had happened back at my house until I was so cold I couldn't walk anymore. I took the train to Manhattan and called Ava. I didn't tell her what happened till she opened her door and saw me. The look on her face told me exactly how I looked.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"Kate and my mother. I was outnumbered and outmatched."

I take my coat off and sit down on the couch next to her. She lightly touches the side of my cheek with her fingertips and I flinch from the pain. "Ouch!"

"I'm going to get you some ice, your face is swollen. God, it looks like it hurts."

I grab her arm to keep her from getting up. "No. I'll be fine. Does it look as bad as it feels?"

She scrunches up her face and shakes her head in a sympathetic way. She also looks mad.

"What the hell happened? Which one did that to your face?"

"My mother."

"She hit you on purpose?"

"She slapped the shit out of me when I called her a two-dollar whore."

Ava's blue eyes almost pop out of her head. "You didn't!"

"I did." And it was worth it to see the look on her face.

I tell Ava everything about the whole argument between Kate, my mother, and me, from start to finish leaving nothing out.

"I can't believe all of this happened this morning. I would have never in a million years have guessed that Mr. Reed wasn't Kate's and Chris's father. I can't believe your mother cheated on your father! And had two kids that weren't his and he still took her back! My God, if that isn't love, then I don't know what is."

"I don't know. Is it love, Ava?"

"I don't know but it takes a certain type of man to deal with that. I can't think of one man I know that would be able to deal with that."

"Me either." I nod my head in agreement. "You know what gets me, he forgave her after she did all of that to him and one call from this man who left her when she was pregnant with twins, and she was actually considering leaving my father again to be with him. How fucked up is that?"

"Your father never knew?"

"No, before she had a chance to see him he died in a plane accident."

"Would you really tell your father?"

"No, what purpose would it serve for him to find out the woman he considered the love of his life was thinking about leaving her son and him a second time?" I slump back in the couch, my hand over my face, I groan. Damn, my face hurts. I pull a compact mirror out of my purse, the same one I had at Nick's house, I didn't have time to change bags. I wince when I see the side of my face in the mirror. My face is puffy and swollen. There's a nasty black-and-blue mark across my left cheekbone.

"It's not that bad. I can help you cover it with makeup," Ava offers.

"Thanks," I say quietly, putting the compact back.

"Did you tell Nick?"

"Not yet. I didn't want to bother him; he's in court all day."

"If he sees that, he's going to lose it." She tips her chin toward my face.

"I know. Oh God, Ava. What am I going to do?" I groan, resting my head back on the couch, looking at the ceiling like it holds the answers I'm looking for.

"I know how my cousin feels about you, Cat, but did you find out how you feel about him?"

"No one, no man has ever made me feel this way. I know in my soul no one ever will. I have wanted to be with this man from when I was a little girl with stars in my eyes; all the stars had his name on them. I imagined it and I have dreamed of it countless times and it was everything I knew it would be and more. If this baby is his, I don't know if I can do it. Can you tell me, how I stop loving him when I've just begun?"

"Cat, I'm sorry it all happened like this."

"So am I."

Ava puts her arms around me and I lay my head on her shoulder and let the tears flow freely. "I'm pretty sure the man I love is the father of my sister's child. My mother and my sister can't stand me and I'm homeless and unemployed. Monday morning reality, I knew it was coming but I didn't know it was going to mow me down like a tractor trailer and drag me through the streets at a hundred miles an hour."

"I can't help you with your sister and mother but I know you are not going to be homeless. You're officially my new roommate. I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Thank you."

"What was I going to let you do, roam the harsh cold streets of New York? I'm sure Nick would take you in, but I know you're not going to go there."

"I have to tell Nick." I raise my head and wipe the tears away. Ava shakes her head at me. Her strawberry blond hair is tied back in a neat ponytail. She looks fresh and fabulous with hardly any makeup on."Yes, but don't tell him about your mother hitting you, and for God's sake, please don't let him see it."

"Does it look that bad?"

"You thought you had trouble today? If he sees your face like that he's going to go ballistic. He's not going to care if it was your mother who hit you. If you want to keep this thing quiet so no one else finds out, don't let him come over here."

She's right. I don't want this situation getting worse. I don't need my brothers or father finding out about us. Nick is going to go over there and knock the door off the hinges; he's not going to care who knows what. The only reason he's still pretending he's engaged to Kate is because I asked him not to say anything yet.

"How am I going to stop him from coming over here?"

"I'll help you, let me talk to him."

"Okay," I agree. Now all I have to do is tell Nick.

I told Cat I would call her but the day was hectic. I could only manage to send her a text. I found myself thinking about her throughout the day. Spending the weekend with her and waking up with her has made me miss her more than I could imagine. I take out my phone and call her when I get home. She answers on the second ring. Her voice sounds groggy like she was sleeping. She must be tired. It's only seven thirty.

"Hey, babe, you sound tired, did I wake you?"

"No, I was thinking."

"About what?"

"Us."

Oh no, this doesn't sound good. We made a lot of progress. I hope one day apart hasn't changed her mind again. "What about us?"

"Kate and I had a huge fight over you this morning."

"Why didn't you call me?" I put my papers to the side and push my chair away from my desk.

"I knew you were busy."

"You should have called me or left me a message. I would have found time to call you back. What happened?"

When she's finished telling me what happened I'm beyond mad. What the fuck was Kate thinking?

"I'm coming to see you."

"No! Not tonight."

"Why not? Is there something else you're not telling me?"

"I just need some time by myself to think about everything that happened this weekend and today. I'm okay. I'm not pushing you away."

"Then I'm coming over."

"No! Look, I'm just tired. This is a lot for me to deal with. I think we should hold off on us and making any decisions until the paternity test comes back."

"Cat," I say in an even tone.