Imperfections (16 page)

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere, don't be rude, Catherine. I'm your mother; you might not think I know what I'm talking about but I do, I know what's best for you."

"I know you think you do."

She raises her perfectly arched eyebrow which she pays way too much money for to be done every other week and purses her lips. "Maybe if you listen to me you too can catch a man like your sister and end up engaged to someone like Nicholas Alexander."

There it is, guilt. I wish I could evaporate into thin air at the mention of his name and his so-called engagement to Kate.

"Your sister's happily engaged and getting married soon, next she'll be having babies. I want the same for you. Wouldn't it be nice if both of you could have kids around the same time so they could be close in age and grow up together with Sasha? Wouldn't that be nice?"

I wish I could sink into this couch to get away from this conversation. If she only knew there's a good possibility she could get exactly what she wants. I can see it now, next year this time, Kate and I could be sitting across the table from each other at Thanksgiving dinner with our matching newborn babies fathered by the same man at the same time. How dysfunctional is that? It would really be a Jerry Springer holiday.

"Cat, are you listening to me? I don't think you heard a word I said."

"Mom, I heard every single word you said."

Before she can continue with whatever else she has to say the doorbell rings. "Saved by the bell," I mumble.

"Speak up, Cat, I didn't hear what you said."

"I said I'll see who's ringing the doorbell."

"Maybe it's Kate, she said she was coming over tonight."

I hope not. She's the last person I want to see. I've been avoiding her like the Black Plague for days.

"Ava's supposed to stop by maybe that's her." If it's her, she has perfect timing as usual. I don't know how much longer I can take my mother talking about me, Nick, and Kate. I'm getting a headache thinking about this whole situation. It's been a week now, he's texted me about twenty times since we had sex and I haven't looked at any of them. I'm scared and angry, I'm trapped in a terrible nightmare and I think I'm going to wake up any minute now but I can't because it's real. Real fucked up.

Ava is fabulous as usual with her new flowing strawberry blond locks, Birkin bag, red bottom heels, and color-block mini dress. I have to smile to myself; she never fails, she is always fabulous. She can be wearing jeans, sneakers and a tank top and she will still look fabulous.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Reed." Ava walks over to my mother and they hug and kiss before she sits down next to me on the sofa.

"Ava, maybe you can help me explain to my daughter that she needs… How would I put this?"

"She's giving me life lessons on how to get a man."

"Not just get a man, any man won't do. He has to have a never ending stream of security financially. If he doesn't, what good is he going to be to you?"

Ava and I look at each other at the same time with a wide-eyed stare.

"I agree with you, Mrs. Reed, any man won't do. What type of man do you think Cat needs besides the obvious financial security? I might be able to help her find that man."

"She needs a man that is able to take care of her and provide for her in style. He should be, and he should also come from a family of good breeding."

"Like a cocker spaniel?" I put my hand across my waist and cover my mouth with the other to stop myself from laughing, she sounds ridiculous. I can see Ava's lips twitching, she wants to laugh so badly. "Mom, this is not the 1800s, at this point I'll settle for a man whose status is uncomplicated. If I get the cocker spaniel you're talking about, I'm sure he's going to come with complications and high demands. I think I'll settle for a poodle, they're showy but I believe they're more loyal than the spaniel."

"Don't mock me, young lady."

The look she's giving me could melt ice on a minus zero degree day in the middle of January. My mother doesn't do well with sarcasm or mockery when it's directed at her. Something else Kate and her have in common.

"I'm going to ignore your last remark. You are still young; you will learn I am right when it comes to relationships between men and women. That brings me back to the reason I came down here."

She's upset with me but she won't say anything in front of Ava. She doesn't believe in airing her dirty laundry in front of other people.

"I have the perfect man for you; he's tall, five nine, great bone structure and a nice physique, he's very fit, he works out daily."

"What, is he a personal trainer?"

"No!"

"All right, calm down, don't get your feathers in a bunch." She can be so serious at times.

"As I was saying, he's a successful investment banker, graduated top of his class from an Ivy League college. This means he will be able to take care of you and any children you may have. If you are wise enough to choose to go out with him and pursue a relationship using the lessons I have mentioned to you today."

Pursue is an interesting choice of words. Why does she keep bringing up children, is there a sign on me saying I had sex with Nick, might be knocked up but pass it off as someone else's. If she knew, all hell would break loose; she would jump across this table and bitch slap me for ruining the appearance of our perfect family. She's never wanted people to see the cracks in our family's foundation. "Ahem, thanks, Mom, but I can take care of myself. I don't need a man to do that."

She pats me on the leg and lowers her voice as if I'm a little girl that doesn't fully understand what she's saying. "I'm thrilled that you can take care of yourself, that's why we put you through college and gave you an education. But it's so much better when the person you're with can do that for you. It's called options, sweetie; options, don't you agree, Ava?"

"Yes, I do, Mrs. Reed, if Cat doesn't want him send him over here. I like to go to the bank especially when I'm making a withdrawal of someone else's money. It's the American way."

"This is a girl after my own heart."

"Too bad she isn't your daughter, the two of you sound like the perfect pair." Of gold diggers.

"Cat, please think about setting up a date with this guy. I have to go make a few phone calls." With a heavy sigh she rises from the couch like the queen she believes she is, straightens her A-line navy blue Calvin Klein dress and leaves the room.

When she's out of sight I turn to Ava. "Can you believe her?"

"She wants to set you up with a rich eligible bachelor, isn't that what every mother wants for their daughter?"

"No, most mothers want their daughter to be happy with whomever they're with. Mine is more concerned about how much money he has in the bank."

"She wants the best for you, what mother doesn't. It wouldn't hurt to take some of her advice; some of what she said is true."

"Please, you don't believe that nonsense she was spouting. You've dated lots of men that weren't rich and didn't come from a family with good pedigree. What the hell does that mean anyway? She's using show dog terms now to describe people."

She smiles. "True, I have dated a lot of guys who weren't rich. I've learned that men are the same whether they're rich or poor. If you're a jerk, you're a jerk no matter how much money you have. She was right about one thing."

"What's that?"

"It is nice to have a man take care of you even if you can do it yourself. If he starts acting up, you have the option of telling him to beat it because you have your own money to take care of yourself."

"I don't want or need any lessons when it comes to relationships from my mother. She's the last person I need relationship advice from. If you knew what I knew, you wouldn't either."

"What do you know?"

"Forget it. Let's go upstairs." I don't want to talk about my mother's dirty little secrets. I have my own to worry about.

"So, best friend of mine, why have you been avoiding me?"

"I wasn't avoiding you, I've been busy," I say, pinning my hair up in a ponytail avoiding eye contact.

"For you, that's code for you don't want to talk about what's going on so you're going to avoid confronting the problem."

"What problem would that be?"

"I don't know yet. You've been avoiding seeing me since the night Nick took you home. Every time I call you send me a text. I finally had to put my foot down and tell you I'm coming over here. So what happened?"

I can't lie to Ava. I'm a terrible liar and she' going to beat me over the head until I tell her the truth. She's relentless like that. "Your cousin happened. We had sex."

"Whaaat! Shut the front door! Slam it!"

"Yep. I slammed it. I should have slammed my legs shut too."

"I was not expecting you to say that."

"Me either."

"Out of all the things you could have said having sex with Nick wasn't one of them."

"I still can't believe it myself and I was there."

She leans in close, sitting across from me on the bed like we're conspiring secretly in some kind of plot, hand covering the side of her mouth. "Girl, how did you go from a ride home to getting down and dirty."

"I don't know, one minute we were listening to music the next thing I know we're having sex in the back of his car with the driver in the front. That is not me; I don't do things like that."

"Did you say, 'driver, roll up the partition please, you don't need to see Cat on her knees?'" She's laughing and I'm looking at her not amused. "Was that playing? If it was you could blame it on Beyoncé and J getting you caught up in the music."

"Not funny, Ava. Not funny."

"I'm sorry." She puts her manicured hands, one over the other over her heart. "No more jokes, I promise. Go ahead, tell me what happened."

I tell Ava the whole story and for once in all the years that I've known her she's speechless. Not one smart remark even when I tell her about Nick and Kate. The only part I leave out is there's a chance I could be pregnant.

"Cat, this is unbelievable. It's like an episode of
Days of Our Lives
. It's like Sammy and Carrie, two sisters fighting over Austin. That bitch Sammy would do anything to get Austin but he didn't want her, he wanted to be with Carrie, the woman he really loved."

"You're comparing my life to a daytime drama?"

"Honey, your life is outdoing daytime drama, this is real life drama. I can't believe she's pregnant. She probably got knocked up on purpose."

"Believe it, it's true and it takes two people to make a baby."

"It might not be his," she says, dragging the last word out.

"What are the chances of that?"

"There's always a chance. How do you know she wasn't hooking up with someone else? If she could hook up with Nick that one time, how do you know she didn't hook up with someone else around the same time? You said they used protection, right?"

"She said it was his."

"Cat, I'm not saying your sister sleeps around, but at the time, she was two weeks out of a five-year relationship with a man we all assumed she was going to be married to. How do we know she didn't get nostalgic late one night and decided to hook up with Michael? It happens all the time."

"Why wouldn't she tell Nick if there is a chance this baby could be someone else's? She wouldn't do that. What is my family going to say when she tells them they're not getting married? My mother's going to go ballistic. I'm going to be the slut of the family. The slut who ruined her sister's engagement and slept with the father of her child."

"If you're a slut, then what the hell am I? I wouldn't want to know what they'd call me. You didn't break up anything; it wasn't real to begin with. What did I tell you? I know my cousin. I knew he would never in a million years marry your sister."

"No, but he would sleep with her."

"He fucked up there."

"Before it got to that point, why didn't his feelings for me stop him from having sex with her? If he cared about me so much and wanted to protect me from getting hurt, why didn't he walk away?"

"I don't know. I can't answer that one for you, that's a question he'll have to answer. The one thing I do know is he cares about you and he'd most likely do anything for you."

"How do you know that?" I sit back on my pillows biting the side of my cheek. "I'm not sure I believe that's true. If it was, he damn sure wouldn't have had sex with my sister; not even one time."

"You need to talk to him."

"I don't know if I'm ready to see him yet or deal with him. I'm still trying to process everything that has transpired and how I feel. I'm conflicted by so many different feelings. I don't know what to do next."

"Where's your pendant?"

"The one Nick gave me?"

"Yes."

"It's in my jewelry box. Why?"

"I was there the day he bought it for you."

"I didn't know that, why didn't you tell me?"

"The day he bought it I asked him to come to the jewelry store with me because my dad was afraid I would buy the entire store. The only way he would let me go is if Nick came with me to make sure I didn't max out his card, which is ridiculous, Black has no limit."

"Your father's a very smart man."

She rolls her eyes at me. "Anyway, when we got to the jewelry shop I was so excited to show him the pendant I was going to buy. It was the most beautiful unique piece of jewelry I'd ever laid my eyes on. The second Nick saw it he said to me, 'you're not buying it.' I said why not? You know what his answer was?"

"What?"

"His exact words were, 'It was meant for someone else, someone special. A person that will always be a part of my life without a doubt in my mind.'"

"He said that?" She nods her head slowly.

"Jokingly, I said yeah, I know the special person is me. He said, 'No, this person is a different kind of special and I need to remind her of that. Whether I'm near or far away from her she will always come first above everyone else. All she has to do is call.' He said the eyes were wrong; the original gems were emerald green. He had them changed to a light blue star aquamarine. What color are his eyes, Cat?"