Imperative: Volume 1, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (124 page)

He groaned and stopped resisting, “I should have gone to Longbourn.”  Suddenly his eyes opened wide.  “Lord help me, what am I saying!”

“IT FEELS LIKE YEARS since I have done something so simple.”  Elizabeth said softly as she carefully soaked the rose petals and lavender flowers she had left behind in November.  “This probably will not be as strong, with them dried out.”  Shrugging, she smiled at Jane.  “But you never know.” 

“It cannot hurt to try.  Perhaps you may add some rose oil.”  The sisters looked at each other and back down to their work.

“Fitzwilliam loves this scent on me.   I dare not ever run out.”  She stopped what she was doing and laughed.  “He has already informed me that we will be shopping in London.  He is determined to find me the perfect hat.”

“Oh?”  Jane smiled and put a stopper on a bottle.  “And what might that be?”

“One that gives him freedom to kiss me easily.”  She blushed when Jane giggled.  “His ardour sometimes overwhelms me.”

“Do you really mind?” 

“Oh no, do not mistake me!  I cannot put it into words, he is truly so shy, but with me . . .  He is different.  I am working on drawing him out in company so that everyone can see what I do.  Somehow though, I think that he will never want me to succeed, he will just want to show himself to me alone.  I cannot complain of that at all.  His devotion was so unexpected.  I suppose that is what is so overwhelming, that a man could feel so much . . . for
me
.”  Her smile lost its glow and brushing up the stray petals, she dropped them into a dish of potpourri.  “We have had so little time to just be ourselves, almost none at all really.  A few days, precious stolen hours.”  Her eyes closed and Jane watched the familiar sight of her little sister forcing her spirits to rise.  Elizabeth’s eyes opened and her watery gaze fell upon the bowl of dried fruit and almonds to be mixed into Mary’s wedding cake.  Sneaking a look into the kitchen she dipped into it and stole a handful.  She popped a raisin into her mouth and smiled a little.  “This reminds me of Christmas.” 

Jane looked at her anxiously and grasped her empty hand.  “Are you happy, Lizzy?  Your letters have been so few, I worried that your marriage was not what you hoped it would be.  You look so very tired.  Is that recovery from the accident or is it something else?” 

“Oh . . . No, of course it is the accident, and the travel.  My marriage is everything and so much more than I ever imagined.  Fitzwilliam is . . .” Elizabeth dropped the fruit back in the bowl and hurriedly pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve to dab at her eyes.  “So very dear.  Oh Jane, if you could feel half of the happiness I do . . .” Sniffing she smiled to see Jane’s lip caught in her teeth.  “Aunt Gardiner said that you made a point of visiting Mr. Bingley and that is the reason he returned to Netherfield.  No, no, do not shake your head!  You showed him your feelings!  Aunt was so impressed with how forthright you were.  I came here expecting to see you, oh I do not know, but much more obvious with him, but I have to say that I see no change in your behaviour.  Are you different here?”

Jane nodded and closed her eyes.  “It was different in London.”

“How so?”

“I . . . was not here.”  She opened her eyes to see Elizabeth’s brow was creased.  “Oh Lizzy, you feel the tension of this house!  I knew that Papa was dying, I . . . I have been trying to keep Mama calm and focus her on Mary, and try to encourage Kitty and Lydia to . . . well anything.  It is just that when I was in London, all of that responsibility was gone.  I did not even want to talk to Aunt about Papa, I could not bear to admit even to her what was happening back here.  Mr. Darcy was correct; we were all burying our heads in the sand.”  Elizabeth hugged her and Jane rested her head on her shoulder.  “In London, the only person that I truly had to worry about was me . . . and I . . . I finally had a chance to . . . put into practice all of this advice you have heaped upon me.”

“And then you came home and all of the weight was back, and you pasted on that smile, and . . .”

“Became the girl that drove Mr. Bingley away again.  I know that he must be confused.  I just do not know what to do.  How can I give myself over to courtship with . . .” She straightened and waved her hand out at the house beyond the workroom.  “I want to take our time now that we have a start at an understanding, but I feel the pressure to get on with it because of Papa.  And when he does die, who is to look after Mama?  You know that I have always sat with her.  How can you begin a marriage on those terms?”  She looked back down at the perfume bottles.  “Listen to me complaining.  I should be grateful that a gentleman such as Mr. Bingley kept his interest in me and defied his sisters to return.  I know that I have a future just waiting to begin.  I should have let him kiss me the way that he wished, the way that Mr. Darcy kissed you.”  Blushing, she saw Elizabeth’s smile. 

“It was a glorious kiss, I must say.”  Elizabeth took her hand.  “I am so sorry that I am not here with you.  I would if I could, you know that.”

“Yes, I do.”  Jane touched the marks on her sister’s face.  “But you have your own family and troubles, and your own husband who needs you.  Besides, I am the oldest sister; I should be able to do all of this on my own.”

“No, you should ask for help when you need it.  Call upon Aunt Philips; she has too much time on her hands.  I would encourage her to come and comfort Mama when you need to be relieved, and if you said to Mama that your courtship might be compromised by the attention you give her, you know that she would be the first to usher you out the door and push you into Mr. Bingley’s path.”  Elizabeth peeked up underneath Jane’s hair and rubbed her back.  “Now tell me, how
does
your time with Mr. Bingley go?”

“Very well, I think.”  Jane’s blush deepened.  “We . . . we are just waiting for Mary’s wedding to take place and then he . . . I think, I hope, he will propose.”  She lifted her hands to her burning cheeks.  “Oh dear!”  

Elizabeth took Jane’s hands back and squeezed.  “I am so glad that the two of you have learned to express your feelings to each other.  Mr. Bingley was so terribly confused.  He asked everyone he could for their opinion of your feelings.”

“He did?”  Jane gasped.

“Fitzwilliam was becoming quite impatient with him, but he refused to do more than tell Mr. Bingley that he thought you were content.”

“
Content!
”  She cried.  “That is all?  I . . . I . . .  Oh I
am
hopeless!”  Hearing Elizabeth’s laugh she smiled ruefully.  “Maybe the next time he asks to kiss me I will let him?”

“I can see him blushing now.   It will be quite a sight, all of that blonde hair atop his bright red face!”  Elizabeth hugged her. 

Mary appeared at the door.  “Lizzy, Papa wants to speak to you before you leave.  I do as well.”  She looked at Jane and away.  “Just for a minute.”

“Of course.” 

“I will leave, that will be easier.  You have some privacy here.”  Jane smiled and left the room. 

Mary looked after her and clasping her hands, she looked down.  Elizabeth immediately lifted up her chin.  “No.  You have no reason to feel inferior ever again.  Do not let anyone do that to you.  You will be a married woman soon.  You will be a minister’s wife, and it will not be long before you are mistress of this estate.”

“Yes, Lizzy.”  Mary bit her lip and focussing on the bowl of fruit, found her voice.  “I do not know if I love Mr. Collins.  I wanted to ask, when you married Mr. Darcy, you could not possibly have loved him, could you?” 

Elizabeth took a moment, and when she felt Mary’s gaze back upon her, she tried to be as comforting as she could, “The first time that I said the word “love” to him was when we took our vows.  It grew from there.”  Tilting her head, she watched Mary thinking that over.  “You have had a far longer courtship and engagement than I ever did, Mary, but you have known Mr. Collins about as long as I knew Mr. Darcy.  I had a fairly good read of his character the first time I met him, and then things got in the way and I was determined to find fault in him for a time, but I . . . recovered from that foolishness fairly quickly.  What did you think of Mr. Collins when you first met him?”

“What a wonderful learned man he was.”  She blushed. 

“And what of his . . . behaviour?” 

“Oh, well I thought little of his eye roaming over you and Jane.”  She huffed.  “I knew that neither of you would do for him.  He just wants to prove himself and he thought that the way to do that was with a beautiful wife.  And then he speaks so stupidly, he thinks himself inferior so he fawns over people.”  She shook her head unhappily.  “I hate that.”

“I know.”  Elizabeth laughed.  “Well done is better than well said.”

“Exactly!  But how do you convince him of that?” 

“I would say that you are one of the few who sees through him.  To most people he would appear to be presenting himself as superior and ridiculous as he mentions his connections and thoughts.” 

“Oh, no.”  Mary said fervently.

“There.  You have the beginnings of love, I think.  You see Mr. Collins’ faults and accept them, with the hope that he will do better.  One day you might wake up and turn to him . . .”  She saw Mary’s eyes widen and said hurriedly,  “or go to his study and look upon him, and find that your heart is filled with happiness that he is yours.”  Mary smiled at the thought.  “And one day he might feel the same for you.”  Mary blushed.  “Rely on each other.  He is just as scared as you are.” 

“Thank you, Lizzy.  That is all that bothered me.  I did not want to state a falsehood when we married tomorrow.”  Mary hugged her and let go, and wiped her eyes.  “Why do we get to be friends now?” 

“I guess because we are old enough to appreciate each other. Write to me when you need me.  But you know that Jane will probably be living nearby, she will be glad to be your friend, too.”  She sighed and looked to the door.  “Well, I had better see what Papa wants.  It is growing late, and I need to go home and rescue Fitzwilliam.”

“What is he doing?”

“I am not sure, but I know he is not being left alone to rest.”  Elizabeth picked up her bottle of perfume.  The sisters left the workroom and walked through the kitchen.  She continued down the hallway to the bookroom and closing her eyes for a minute, raised her hand and knocked.

“ANSWER THE DOOR, ROBBIE.”  Lowry directed from his seat at the head of the servants’ dining table at Darcy House.  The footman jumped to his feet and they could hear his cry of surprise as the door to the basement kitchen was opened.  Running ahead, the wide-eyed young man did not have a chance to speak before Richard; resplendent in his freshly brushed blue coat, appeared.  Immediately the staff jumped to their feet.  “Colonel Fitzwilliam.”  Lowry bowed his head.  “What a surprise, sir.”

“Well, I knew you would not be answering the front door.”  He smiled around at them all.  “Good day, everyone.”  Clapping his hands he rubbed them together.  “Something smells heavenly.” 

“Would you like a bit, sir?”  Mrs. Hutchins asked.  “We can send a plate up . . .”

“No, no, I am glad to eat with the troops.”  He touched an empty chair and immediately Sally jumped and fetched him a plate.  Uncomfortably, the servants looked at each other as the gentleman sat down.  “I am accustomed to eating in a tent while the wind and bullets howl.  Please do not feel ill at ease.”  As ale was poured and a serving was put before him, he smiled.  “Excellent!”  He took a bite and looked up.  “Sit.”   Lowry nodded and they all settled into their places and looked at him.  “Eat.”   Lowry nodded again and they dug in. 

Mrs. Gaston cleared her throat.  “May I ask, have you any news of the master and mistress, sir?” 

“I do indeed, in fact,” he unbuttoned his coat and reached inside to find a letter.  “This is for you from Mrs. Darcy.  My father and I came across them on the road and she took advantage of me as her courier.  They are both well, although I would say my cousin is much the worse for wear.  He is devilishly sore and I think that Mrs. Darcy will appreciate it if you do not gape at him to his face.”  He looked around at them and stopped at Sally who looked as if she would cry.  “The wounds will heal.  Mrs. Darcy is much less damaged, but I daresay one who did not know what happened might wonder at how her eyes were blackened.”

“Oh heavens.”  Mrs. Gaston gasped, and Robbie’s eyes widened.

“That sweet woman!”  Mrs. Hutchins clucked. 

Lowry’s throat cleared.  “Do you know if their plans have changed, sir?”

“As to their length of stay?  I honestly do not see how they can contemplate socializing, even if Mr. Darcy’s pain is managed, neither one of them enjoy receiving undue attention.  I cannot see them going to public events or entertaining until the wounds heal.  I fear that my mother’s plans are dashed.”  He chuckled and picked up his tankard of ale.  “Such a pity.” 

“Well, I can see the mistress wanting to take care of the master.”  Mrs Hutchins said decisively.  “They were so much happier curled up in the library anyway.   I have already been making out my menus of their favourites.”

“Shortbread.”  Sally said softly. 

“Mrs. Darcy does love my shortbread.”  Mrs. Hutchins said proudly.  “Just like Mr. Christmas did.” 

Richard straightened and Lowry and Mrs. Gaston noticed.  “Who is this Mr. Christmas, Mrs. Hutchins?  Have you a gentleman calling upon you?”   He smiled kindly and the cook blushed.

“Hardly a gentleman, Colonel.  He is a good man, sir.  Always quick with a laugh and always bringing me a flower or two.” 

Richard nodded, “The way to a woman’s heart.  Where did you meet?” 

“Oh, he was delivering a joint, sir.  The boy who did the work was ill and he offered to bring it by.  He was so personable and . . . he stayed for a cup of tea, and . . .” She blushed.  “Well . . .”

“I see.  So he worked for the butcher?” 

“Well . . . I always surmised it, sir.  He never did like talking about himself much.  He was too glad to talk about . . . me.”  She blushed again.

“Of course, I have often heard my mother lament that my father was not the best listener.”  He smiled and Mrs. Hutchins’s eyes widened as she nodded.