Imperative: Volume 1, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (113 page)

“She is unsure if they will come, now.” 

“This was written three days after the accident, Mr. Bennet.  That was early days, things might be quite different by now.”  Bingley said hopefully.  “If I know Darcy . . .”

“He has no reason to want to rush to this house, and he has control over his wife’s movements.”  Mr. Bennet seemed to shrink before Bingley’s eyes.  “You may show that to Jane.  Beg her not to tell her mother, I cannot bear to hear the reaction.”

“Should she not know?”

“My wife is only concerned about weddings now, and if Mr. Darcy had died, he could not put my remaining daughters in the way of rich men.  I do not care to hear her lamenting him.”  He waved his hand towards the door.  “Go conduct your courting and make my wife happy.”

IN THE PARLOUR, Jane listened with one ear towards the hallway and her father’s study, and the other to the conversation in the room, while in her mind, it was the parting exchange she had with Mrs. Gardiner that replayed itself over and over.

“Jane, I have been trying to find the words for this the entire time you have visited and I have failed thus far . . .”

“What is it, Aunt?”  

“Life at Longbourn will be changing soon.”  Mrs. Gardiner hesitated.

Jane smiled.  “Mary is leaving.  It will just be three of us there.” 

“I did not mean Mary, I . . . your father . . .”

“He just has a little cough . . .” She said quickly and their eyes met.  “I am sure that is all.”

“Fine, it is a little cough.”  Mrs. Gardiner gripped her hand.  “But . . . if you truly have feelings for Mr. Bingley, it would be best to display them for him openly.  Do not leave him to guess.  It would be good to have this settled . . . sooner than later.  Do you understand, dear?”  Jane’s gaze dropped.  “You behaved entirely properly before, and Mr. Bingley was left unsure of your feelings.  His friends advised him that you were not moved, merely content.”  Her eyes widened.  “Your uncle likes and approves of him; your brother Mr. Darcy regards him as a good friend.  I daresay if pressed, your father would even admit that he is a pleasant man.  The time for coyness is past, my dear.   Encourage him, he will appreciate it.”

“How?  I cannot be someone I am not.”

“Oh Jane . . . I am not telling you to be Lydia!  If you are going to smile, let him know that the brightness is for him alone.”  Mrs. Gardiner urged.  “Make him feel special.  Let him know what he makes you feel.  You made a wonderful beginning when we visited the Hursts’ home, but you cannot retreat to your old ways.  Time is precious, do not waste it.”

“Miss Bennet?”  Bingley whispered from the hallway and beckoned to her to join him.  Jane started and seeing that her family was occupied, quietly set her sewing aside and murmuring something, slipped out of the room.  He glanced around and drew her to stand inside of the dining room.

He was staring so earnestly that she became alarmed.  “Mr. Bingley?  Whatever is wrong?  Was my father . . .”

“Your father has a great deal on his mind, and . . .”  He slipped her the letter, “. . . you should read this, but do not let your mother see it.  It is from Mrs. Darcy.”

“Lizzy?”  Jane glanced out into the hallway and turning her back to the doorway, carefully opened the note.  She gasped and her eyes filled with tears.  Bingley took her hand and squeezed as she read, and when she finished they both blushed and quickly let go of each other. 

“Forgive me . . .”

“No . . .” 

Licking his lips, Bingley swallowed.  “I hope that a letter awaits me at Netherfield and I am positive that . . . while sore and undoubtedly frightened, they are well . . . but it brings to mind a phrase I learned in school . . . Carpe Diem?  Do you know it?”

“No.”  Jane breathed.

“No, well . . . really I do not either, I just remember Darcy using it in conversation and it stuck with me . . . it was taught in my Latin classes, of course, but how much does one really listen when the professors are droning on and on and the weather is so fine . . . much more effective to see it actually demonstrated in the form of a frustrated friend . . .” He saw her brow creasing and sighed.  “Seize the day . . . Miss Bennet, your father encourages me to . . . stop this new attempt of mine to think in a deliberate manner and to . . . get on with it.”

“I do not understand.”  She said helplessly and glanced down at Elizabeth’s letter.

He spoke quickly, “I wish to court you and to do so with your full knowledge that my ultimate intentions are honourable, Miss Bennet.”  She looked back up and put her hand to her mouth.  He touched the letter, “You . . . you never know what might be waiting around the corner and I would hate to have something occur and spend my life thinking that I should have acted.  If Darcy had died, your sister would at least have the comfort of knowing they had their brief time together.”

They could hear Mr. Bennet’s coughs drifting down the hallway, and Jane thought of her aunt’s urgings.  “It would be unwise to waste time.”

“Yes.”  Bingley nodded and his relief was clear.  “That is precisely what I was attempting to say.  I am not certain what to do next.”  He laughed a little nervously.  “I witnessed Darcy’s actions . . .”

“Mr. Bingley!”  Jane’s face crimsoned. 

“Well, it was a thought.”  Smiling, he shrugged and relaxed.  “I will just keep that moment in mind should it be necessary . . .”  Jane was still blushing when he took her hand and raised it to his lips.  “I have to admit, Miss Bennet, that I hope it will be.”

“THANK YOU, PARKER.   I shall take him from here.”

“Are you certain, madam?”  He looked at Darcy worriedly.  “Perhaps I should follow along to the library, just to help him settle?”

“Well . . .”

“I
am
here, you know.”  Darcy looked between the two of them.  “I am not a problem to be solved.” 

“You are a living, breathing, problem, Fitzwilliam.”  Elizabeth took his arm and they walked slowly towards the staircase.  Parker followed along silently.   Darcy turned his head and grimaced, both with the pain and with sight of his man. 

“I hate being an invalid.”

“You are not entirely an invalid; you are up and about now.”

“Yes, but I can hardly leap to my feet and do anything.  At least it is January, not July, and the appeal of riding is low.”

“Riding!”  Elizabeth laughed. “Oh, you do set your goals high!”  They reached the top of the stairs and came to a stop.  Darcy stared down them and felt his courage failing.  “Will . . .” He looked to her eyes.  “Trust me.”  He sighed and nodding, they started down.

“There you go; one step at a time.”  Elizabeth kept her focus on the stairs and supported Darcy’s waist.  He was leaning heavily on the banister, but his grip was just as tight around her shoulders.

“Maybe this was a bad idea.”  He gasped and came to a halt halfway down. 

“We will just rest here for a moment.”  She watched him looking back up the stairs and then down again.  “You can do this, Will.” 

“I fear that this is more than a terrible bruise.”  He pressed his lips to her temple, bending to reach her mouth was impossible.  “How are we to travel to Longbourn?”

“I could go alone.”  She looked up to him and was glad to see the helplessness fade as he fixed his eyes upon hers.

“No.” 

Shrugging, she smiled placatingly, “I would be perfectly fine . . .  Perhaps Samuel could travel with me.  He needs to return to London sometime and collect his belongings.  He would make a wonderful travelling companion.”

Darcy glared.  “Elizabeth, you will not travel anywhere without
me
.  That is final.”

“I will remain at home, then.”  She looked down at her feet.

“You will do no such thing!  I promised you this trip, we will go!”

“We will not go anywhere if you do not travel further than the mid-point of these stairs.”  Elizabeth smiled and raised a brow.  “Shall we move on?”

Sighing loudly, he groused, “I thought that I would be healed in a week.” 

“Well, you were wrong.”  Straightening, she pointed down the steps.  “Ready?”

“No.” 

“Steady?”

“No.”

“Go!”  Together they stepped down and finally arrived at the bottom. 

Darcy regained his breath and looked back at the formidable treads.  “That was not so bad.”  Elizabeth’s eyes rolled and she saw Parker smiling as he disappeared from the landing.  Darcy grasped her hand and slowly they walked to the library where a fire had been lit and all sorts of delicacies had been laid out.  He smiled with his surprise.  “What is all of this?”

“Your reward for persevering.” 

Darcy laughed and kissed the top of her head.  “Thank you.”

“Thank me after we have you seated.”  Holding both of his hands, she braced as he lowered into the most comfortable chair in the house.  Tears involuntarily came to his eyes and he gasped, but after panting for a few moments, the wave of pain faded.  Elizabeth kissed his cheek and settled next to him.  “I am glad that we can both fit into this chair, I expect you will not be moving for some time.” 

Darcy studied her flushed cheeks.  “I am too heavy for you to help me, Lizzy.  Your wounds are not healed either.  When it is time for me to rise, we will call for a footman.”  He smiled at her determined expression.  “I cannot have you in misery, too, love.  There is no shame is admitting you cannot do something.”

“I just do not wish to appear weak in your eyes.”

He laughed and instantly regretted it.  “Oh love, please.”  Hugging his arms around his chest, he grimaced even as his eyes twinkled.  “There is absolutely no possibility of me ever seeing you as weak, nor will any other person on this estate or county, if the gossip’s tongues are as busy as I suspect they are.”  She blushed and went to work fussing over a blanket for his legs and he stayed her hand.  “Please do not shy away from praise, love.”

“I did nothing more heroic than you, and I recall you ducking your head every time that I speak of your efforts to save me.”  Darcy’s eyes cast down and he entwined their fingers.  “Are we agreed that we saved each other?”  His head nodded.  “Now, no more of this.”

“Lizzy . . .”  Darcy spoke quietly, “Will you please bruise my lips some more?”  Hearing her giggle, he smiled and looked up to her.  “I want you in my lap so badly.”

“I think that would be lovely, but it is too soon.”  She gently held his face in her hands and tenderly kissed him.  “Better?” 

“It will do.  I cannot wait until I can bend down and kiss something besides your head.”  He smiled when she laughed.  “Now, what shall we read?”

“Oh, the Darcy family history, you can explain to me who some of these fearsome people are in the gallery.”  She jumped up from the chair and went to the shelves. 

“To your left, love.”  He directed and saw her pause.   “What do you see?”

“I am not certain.”  Taking down a slim volume, she brought it and the heavy history with her and settled back down beside him.  Darcy fixed the blanket over their knees and she set the books down on their legs.  “This looked out of place.”

He opened the book.  “Hmm.  This is my . . . grandmother’s.”  Curiously, he turned the pages, “It looks like a record of her purchases for the estate . . . look here; she describes the gardens she put in . . .”

“The ones that you want to take out.”  Elizabeth laughed and gently prodded him.

“Times change, as do tastes.”  He murmured unapologetically.  “Look . . . she writes of her children . . . it is a record of the births and . . . oh early childhood events, I suppose.”

Elizabeth’s brow creased. “They did not live here?” 

“No, they were sent out to be wet nursed until they were four or five.  Most of her children died while they were away from home in Kympton. ”  He said softly and hearing the sound of Elizabeth’s disapproval looked up and kissed her, making a silent contract with an exchange of looks to not do such a thing with their children. “She and Grandfather would visit regularly, but they did not live here.  See, Uncle Charles, Uncle William, Uncle Frederick, Aunt Martha . . .” his head shook, “Just Father and Uncle Harding survived.”

“Why would you do such a thing?  With a house as enormous as this, would they not at least bring a woman in?”

“It became fashionable, I suppose.  And it was good for the village; they were seen to be providing income to women in need of it.  I imagine the nurse was a widow.”  His brow creased when he read a small note.  “
Harding was given laudanum for teething and became very agitated.
”  He looked to Elizabeth and turned the pages, searching for more.  “
Harding broke an arm and was given laudanum for weeks, when he no longer received a dose, his spirits were greatly depressed.
”   

“What does that mean?”  Elizabeth whispered.  Darcy’s head shook as he turned more pages and reached remarks of his uncle’s teenage years. 

“
Harding has recovered at last; all traces of the poison are blessedly gone.  I pray that he never suffers a grievous injury for the treatment will surely kill him, as he might take his own life.
”

“Oh Will!”  Elizabeth’s hand went to her mouth.  “Is that what this means?  This is why your uncle cannot tolerate the laudanum?”

“It makes him suicidal, amongst other things.”  Darcy said softly.  “I had no idea.  No wonder Aunt was so upset when she learned what his valet had done.”  He became lost in thought, considering his uncle’s behaviour over the past months and was startled by Elizabeth’s voice.

“Have you known anyone to take his own life?”

“Hmm?  Oh, yes.”  He nodded and resumed reading.  Feeling her eyes upon him he looked up.  “You will not let it go?”

“No.”

“Why am I not in the least surprised?”  He smiled and hugging her waist, told his story.  “I know of a man whose gambling debts were so great that he killed himself when he could not repay.  It is considered the proper course.”  Elizabeth was clearly at a loss for words.  “Lizzy, you might skip out on a tradesman, but never on a debt of honour.  But of course, his estate is still under obligation to pay the debts, so it solves nothing.”