Imagined Love (5 page)

On Monday, October 12th, instead of waiting in the car for Jade and Katrina, Willa decided to meet them right outside of their classroom. There was someone to whom she needed to be introduced.

“Why would you want to meet her?” Jade frowned.

“I’ll tell you later. Now come on before she leaves,” Willa said then waddled behind them.

The girls were even more confused when Willa drove slowly through an area near the school as if she was looking for something. Then she pulled in front of Cicely’s house instead of taking Katrina to their home like they’d planned. Neither of them dared say anything, though. Willa’s hormones had been blamed for some very strange and irrational outbursts. There was no telling how she’d respond, so they remained quiet.

“Come on, girls, I need to talk to Cicely for a minute.”

Katrina’s siblings were surprised to see them since they usually spent Mondays at Jade’s house. Cicely told them to go in the den to watch TV until she and Willa were finished talking. And there were threats made against their lives if either one of them were caught on the steps eavesdropping. Once the kids were settled Willa explained why she stopped by and asked for a favor.

“Girl, let’s ride! Let me get my purse. Landon,” Cicely called, as she headed towards her bedroom. “Keep an eye on the kids. Me and Willa gotta make a run. I don’t know how long we gone be but make that spaghetti for dinner if we ain’t back in a few hours, you hear me?”

“Thank you, Landon. Here you go,” Willa said, as she handed him a twenty dollar bill.

“Uh, uh, he don’t need no money, girl. You spoil him enough as it is. Give that back, boy.”

Willa never liked the idea of parents saddling their older children with the responsibility of caring for the younger ones with no reward or apologies for doing so. It was obvious from the way Cicely demanded Landon watch all the kids that she felt differently. Willa managed to slip him the money anyway and gave him a wink. Then she and Cicely left to find out just how long Miles had been keeping secrets.

“I think we need to talk,” Willa said to the woman staring at her through the screen door. “I’m Willa Caldwell . . . Miles’s wife.”

“Yeah, we definitely need to talk,” she said, allowing the women inside.

Rhonda Williams introduced herself but before she could complete her sentence, Cicely demanded to know if Jewel was in fact Miles’s daughter! Willa quickly realized bringing her along had been a mistake. At the time it didn’t seem wise to show up on Rhonda’s doorstep alone but Cicely wasn’t the best choice for a sidekick. Rhonda had similar feelings and asked to speak to Willa alone. Once her husband Christopher left to drive Cicely home, Rhonda began by clearing the air. She wasn’t having an affair with Miles as Cicely had insinuated. True, she had gotten pregnant by him, but they hadn’t seen or spoken to each other since their one-night fling back in April of 1970.

“Miles doesn’t even know about Jewel,” Rhonda said.

“Oh, he knows! The only reason I even knew to look for Jewel was because Miles was questioning my daughter’s friend about her. So he knows something.”

“Well, I can assure you he didn’t hear anything from me,” she said then explained to Willa what had taken place over eleven years ago.

Rhonda and Miles, both suffering from broken hearts, leaned on each other for comfort at her cousin’s party where they met. Neither of them had any intentions of seeing each other again and didn’t even exchange phone numbers. It was only after Rhonda found out she was pregnant that she contacted her cousin for Miles’s address. At that time she and Christopher had reunited. They had gotten married and he planned to raise the child as his own. However, he felt Miles had a right to know about the baby and convinced Rhonda to tell him.

She went to Miles’s mother’s house and got the shock of her life. Myrna called Rhonda every type of whore, tramp, and bitch she could think of and told the girl not to tell anybody that lie about Miles getting her pregnant!

“And I guess I didn’t get enough the first time because I actually went back. When Jewel was about six months old I took her over there thinking Myrna would feel some kind of grandmotherly bond with her. But she pulled a gun on me and threatened to kill me and my baby if I ever set foot in her house again! Needless to

say I never went back and the only people me and Christopher ever told about Miles was my parents and Jewel. So I don’t know how he found out because I’m guessing Myrna didn’t tell him.”

Willa felt overwhelmed. In one regard she was relieved because in April of 1970 she and Miles weren’t back together yet. It wasn’t until his high school graduation a few months later that they rekindled their relationship. However, she also felt angry at the realization that Miles had lied about not being with anybody while they were apart. He swore to heaven that he’d loved her too much to ever be with another girl. His other ten-year-old daughter proved otherwise! Then Willa began to wonder what else Miles had lied about and the anger she felt showed on her face.

“You okay?” Rhonda asked.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.

The truth was Willa didn’t feel fine. She knew it was ridiculous to be mad about something that happened when she and Miles weren’t even together. Their break up was supposed to be permanent so he was free to be with Rhonda or anyone else he wanted. Yet what was bothering her was not only that he lied, but that for months after their reunion Miles had continuously made her feel guilty for dating other boys. He had punished her by withholding his affection and making Willa feel as if she had to earn his love and trust when he’d been involved in another relationship as well . . . one that had resulted in the birth of a child!

Willa asked to use the bathroom since the baby was turning flips on her bladder. While washing her hands she stared at herself in the mirror. Every time Willa thought her life couldn’t get any crazier, it always did. She wanted to leave Miles and start over fresh with Jade and the new baby. However, it seemed idiotic that she could forgive him for physically abusing her and not be able to get over something that happened when they weren’t in each other’s lives. Then there was Jade to consider. How would she cope with everything? Jade would go from being an only child to the middle child with an older sister she couldn’t stand!

“What the hell am I gonna do?” Willa asked her reflection, as she wiped tears from her face.

“Where you been? And where’s Jade?” Miles asked when Willa walked into the kitchen.

“I just left Rhonda’s house.”

“Who?”

“You know Rhonda Williams. Well, I guess she had a different last name back when you screwed her and got her pregnant!”

Miles’s bright skinned face turned beet red as he stared wide-eyed at his wife. Then he invited her to take a seat at the kitchen table while he explained. Last

week while he was at Myrna’s house his little sister Lydia asked him how Jewel was doing then quickly corrected herself and said Jade. She tried to laugh it off but Miles knew something was going on. He’d heard that name a few years before and knew it wasn’t a coincidence that his sister had said it. So he asked Myrna if she knew someone named Jewel and she said no nonchalantly and went on with their conversation. Miles hadn’t really thought much more about it until he heard Katrina say it was a girl at their school named Jewel who she had mistaken for Jade because they looked a lot alike.

The next day Miles went back to his mother’s house but that time he asked his father who honestly had no clue what he was talking about. Myrna continued to lie despite how tormented her son seemed by the thought he could have another child growing up without him. Miles thought he would never know the truth then Willa walked in announcing that he does, in fact, have another daughter living less than ten minutes away! He was eager to meet her but wanted to know if her existence was going to cost him the family he already had.

Willa didn’t know how to answer that. She knew Miles well enough to know he would never abandon his child and that Jewel would have been in his life from the very beginning had he known about her. Willa just didn’t know if she wanted to deal with someone else’s child. The new baby would be enough of an adjustment without adding another kid, especially one her own daughter hated. It was too much to handle and Willa didn’t know if she could or if it was something she should even be considering.

“You lying!” Katrina shouted when Jade told her the news.

“I wish I was lying. Can you believe that crap? Out of all the people in the world, stupid Jewel is my sister! I hate that girl! And then my dad threatened to beat my butt if I said I hated her one more time because she’s my sister and we’re supposed to love each other. And how exactly did that happen, Mr. ‘I only loved you, Willa’, Mr. I’m Perfect,” Jade said, as she rolled her eyes. “He’s such a liar. The whole time they were broken up he swore he hadn’t been with anybody else. And now, all these years later, here comes Jewel!”

Jade was only repeating what she’d heard Willa saying to friends. And she didn’t even understand it all but it made her feel like a grownup to talk like that and have Katrina hanging on her every word.

“So she coming to live with y’all?”

“No, don’t even think that,” Jade frowned then stuck her tongue out in disgust. “That idiot is supposed to come for visits so my dad can get to know her. I keep hoping he’ll hate her too and tell her not to ever come over again. But I guess that won’t happen since he already likes her better than me. All he says is Jewel is so pretty. Jewel is so smart. He doesn’t know anything about that stupid girl and he

already bragging about her!” Jade’s voice quivered. “I never heard my dad tell me I’m pretty or smart. All I ever hear is how I need to do better! If I get an A- on a test then it should’ve been an A+. If I get second place in a race it should’ve been first. Even when I got picked to perform in my modern dance class he wasn’t happy for me because it should have been the lead role. I can’t do nothing right but this stranger comes along and he thinks she’s perfect!” Jade began to cry. “I hate him and I wish he and Jewel would just go away!”

“I think you pretty and smart,” Katrina said, as she hugged her best friend tight. “Jewel ain’t nothing compared to you!”

Jade smiled and wiped her tears away, grateful for Katrina’s comfort. If only that had been enough to ward off the merciless teasing she got at school once students found out about Jewel.

“Ew, Jade, your daddy nasty! He did the oochie coochie with Jewel’s mama! Your daddy the oochie coochie man, your daddy the oochie coochie man,” a group of kids chanted for weeks every time they spotted her.

Jade was miserable and all anybody had to say about it was, “Oh, just ignore it.” The teacher was too busy to deal with it and Miles and Willa were too caught up in what they were going through to care. Besides her granny, the only other adult that even noticed how unhappy she’d become was Cicely. She gave Jade big hugs and told her she was beautiful and smart and incredibly special. And when Miles and Willa didn’t pay much attention to the honor roll certificates and other awards their daughter received, Cicely put them in frames and hung them up on her wall. She made Jade feel safe and loved and that drew her closer to the woman, something her parents would grow to resent.

The week before Thanksgiving Willa sat on Cicely’s couch explaining why she was leaving Miles!

“Oooh, girl, you just don’t need this kind of stress,” Cicely said, as she helped Willa prop up her swollen feet. “I know Jewel just a kid but I can’t stand her either! What she need is a good ass whopping and she might be alright.”

“Yeah, it’s getting hard not to slap that little arrogant heifer in her mouth! And I thought Rhonda was an okay person but she’s a fool too. I don’t know what gave her the impression that she was gonna be running my house, but I had to get her straight. She acts like Jewel is a princess and that I’m supposed to be making all these special allowances and arrangements when she comes over. Girl, please, I told Rhonda if her daughter has special dietary needs then she needs to take care of them before the girl comes over because kids in my house eat what I cook! So I guess Jewel called herself challenging me. Do you know that little bastard had the nerve to lift up one of my pots and tell me to make her something else because she doesn’t eat pinto beans?”

“No she didn’t, Willa!” Cicely fumed. “Oh no, see her little butt woulda been laying unconscious on my kitchen floor ‘cause I don’t play no mess like that! I wish one of my kids would tell me what they ain’t gone eat,” she said, growing more enraged. “And what Miles got to say about all this?”

“Nothing! Which is why I can’t be bothered with this mess anymore. He feels so guilty because of all the time he missed with Jewel that he lets her do and say whatever the hell she wants. But the moment Jade even looks the wrong way he’s ready to kill her! And I’m not having that. He ain’t gonna mistreat my baby while that fool gets away with murder,” Willa snapped. “But get this, Cicely. Miles and Rhonda discussed sharing custody of Jewel where she spends part of the week at home and the other part with us. Notice I said Miles and Rhonda discussed it as if Christopher and I don’t have a say. And when I confronted him about it he had the audacity to tell me not to concern myself with the details because it’s between him and Rhonda!”

“Oh, hell nawl, no he didn’t!” Cicely yelled. “Well, I’ll put it to you like this. Since raising Jewel is between him and her they need to be the only ones dealing with her. How somebody gone tell you not to concern yourself with something that’s messing up your life? Shoot, you the one gotta deal with that nut when she come over acting a damn fool!”

“Apparently Miles doesn’t see it that way and once we got into it, he told me not to ever make him choose because he would never abandon his child for a woman! A woman . . . like I’m some random chick off the street, not his wife. And I didn’t ask him to abandon Jewel. I would never do that. I just told him he needs to get her in check because I’m not dealing with a disrespectful, out of control kid. I don’t tolerate it from Jade so I’m damn sure not gonna take it from her. And I told Miles there won’t be another instance of him threatening us for saying things to Jewel he doesn’t like while she gets to talk to me and Jade all stupid and crazy! So he told me to do what I gotta do, and I did. I went back to the landlord at the apartment I was planning to move in to before Miles and I got back together. The same one was available so I got it and we move in tomorrow. I know Miles thought he was calling my bluff. He assumed I wouldn’t go anywhere since I’m pregnant, but I’ve got news for him. We don’t belong together and I never should’ve changed my plans. The day you and I met I was determined to start a new life and I should have stuck to it.”