Imaginary Grace (22 page)

Mickey sort of nudged my elbow with his, then raised his eyebrows at me as if to say, “What the fuck?“ I just shrugged and shook my head.

Scott must have seen the daggers flying between them because he turned to me and Mickey and mouthed, “Cat fight?” Mickey laughed. We ignored the girls and kept drinking and talking amongst ourselves, until eventually Jess gave up and left.

Now that she had me all to herself, Amber wouldn’t leave me alone. By then I had a good buzz going and was thinking that maybe leaving with her wouldn’t be such a bad idea since, like I said, I was horny as hell. After Jess’s exit she had moved closer until she once again had an arm around my waist; her other hand was just under the edge of my shirt, resting on my bare stomach. I was replaying in my mind the last time we’d slept together when I felt my phone vibrate.

It was late and I wondered who it could be, so I reached down and slid it out of my pocket to take a look. It was a text from Grace with just one word – goodnite-- with one of those little smiley faces.

In that moment, everything seemed to shift. I was suddenly aware of the smell and feel of Amber’s hair – all perfumey and sticky—and I was skeeved by the feel of her hands on me. As nonchalantly as I could, I shifted on my barstool, forcing her to move them.

I realized then how tired I was, and I just wanted to get out of there. There were just two problems-- Scott would give me shit about leaving, and Amber would try to follow me out.

Then Kristen showed back up and started to occupy Scott.
One down, one to go.
I leaned over and whispered to Mickey that I was leaving.

He nodded. “I’m outta here, too.”

I turned to Amber, all smiles. “We’ll be right back.”

“Okay, don’t be too long.” She brought her hands up to my chest and rested them there. Still smiling, I slowly stepped back, letting her hands slip back to her sides. It was then that I looked at her, I mean really
looked
at her, and I knew I
never
wanted to be with her again.

Mick and I made our way through the crowd as if headed for the restroom, then hung a right and slipped out the side door.

“She’s gonna be pissed,” Mick sing-songed as we walked through the parking lot.

“Who? Amber?” I rolled my eyes at him. “Who gives a shit?”

“That was nuts with those two girls in there. Does that stuff happen often?” There was a hint of admiration in Mick’s tone.

“I don’t know. I guess sometimes,” I replied matter-of-factly. I’d always found that kind of thing flattering; now I just found it annoying.

“Thanks for the ride, man,” I said, when Mick pulled up in front of my place. I couldn’t wait to crawl into bed.

“No problem,” he said, still sounding slightly in awe of me. “I’ll see you around.”

After taking a quick shower to wash the funk of the bar off me, I slid between the sheets with my skin still damp. Of course, I wasn’t able to sleep, despite my exhaustion. Another night of tossing and turning ended around four o’clock when I finally passed out.

Working out usually helped wake me, and that morning was no different. After a half-hour in the weight room and another forty-five minutes on the treadmill, I was actually starting to feel halfway human. As I drove home I found my thoughts running to Grace, and just then my phone began to buzz. I felt a strange excitement as I pulled it out of my pocket, then frowned when I saw it my brother. Odd, he never called me out of the blue.

“Hey, Mike, what’s up?”

“Hey—glad I caught you before I head into a meeting. Gavin called last night—he’s having all the cousins over next weekend and wanted to know if you and Grace would come. I guess he doesn’t have your number. Anyway, I told him you probably couldn’t make it, but I said I’d ask anyway. He seemed like he really wanted you to come.”

Without even thinking, I said, “Sure, we’ll go.”

“Oh, great. I’ll give you a call during the week with the details.”

As I hung up, I wondered why I had said yes. The person I needed to convince – my mom – was pretty much convinced already, and she wouldn’t be there anyway. I just wanted to go. I’d had a lot of fun seeing everyone at the wedding, and it couldn’t hurt to be seen with Grace again.

When I got home I texted Grace and asked if she wanted to go. I’d barely hit send when she replied with a very emphatic YES!!
J
. I found myself smiling at the phone as I told her I’d give her the details when I saw her in class.

With that settled, I got ready for a busy few days. The band was practicing on Wednesday night, and we had two gigs that weekend, one on Friday at a little club just outside of D.C., then back to J.D.’s on Saturday. By the time Sunday rolled around, I’d be ready for a nice relaxing afternoon with the little woman.

Chapter 33

Grace

I
got Tanner’s text on the way home from the gym, and my grin was still in place when I ran into Beth just outside our dorm.

“Guess what?”

“Hmm, let’s see…” she said, tapping her pointer finger to her chin, “don’t tell me…let me guess…uh…you got engaged?”

I laughed. “You’re such a comedian, Beth! No I didn’t get engaged, but he did invite me to another family function!”

“
Another
one? Wow Grace, this is really getting serious. What kind of function is it?”

I explained that it was at Tanner’s cousin’s house—the same one whose wedding we had just gone to. They were just back from their honeymoon and wanted to have us and a few others over.

“Ooh, it sounds intimate…just the cousins. What are you going to wear?”

I immediately felt a pang of anxiety. “Uh…I don’t know…I don’t think it’s a dressy occasion…”

“Okay, I’m thinking skinny jeans with my black boots,” she suggested, “and leave your hair loose – no ponytail.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” I said, relieved. “I’m going to be so nervous. At least at the wedding there were so many people and so much going on. This time I won’t be able to get lost in the crowd.”

“Grace,” Beth said, “don’t worry about it. Remember how nervous you were about going to the wedding, and you ended up doing fine. Just be yourself – and I hate to push the alcohol, but if all else fails, have a drink or two and that’ll calm you down.

“True,” I said, laughing at her logic.

I wasn’t laughing when I woke up early Sunday morning. It had come around before I knew it, and I felt completely unprepared for a day with Tanner’s family. I also didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on it, as I had a ton of homework to finish before Tanner came to get me.

I forced myself out of bed and went to look out the window. There was a fresh blanket of snow on the lawn in front of our building, the result of an overnight shower, and the sky was gray and gloomy. I looked with envy at Beth, still asleep on the other side of the room, then turned to the stack of books on my desk.

Before I knew it two o’clock had rolled around and it was time to start getting ready. I still wasn’t quite done with the homework; I had, however, done a lot of staring out the window and rethinking what I was going to wear. I wished Beth was there to advise me, but she had headed out to the gym an hour before. Besides, I reminded myself, we’d already put together the perfect outfit. She’d let me borrow her black boots, which went perfectly with my jeans, tight gray tank and black wraparound sweater—casual but not too casual. I had blown my hair out the night before, so I only had to flat iron it. I was beginning to really get the hang of it, and it was much easier to work with since I had gotten it cut. Beth came in as I was tucking the last hair into place, and she clucked approvingly.

A few minutes after three Tanner texted me that he was downstairs. “Wish me luck,” I said to Beth.

“You’ll do fine.”

Tanner was waiting for me right outside the door of the building. He looked as handsome as ever and I thought to myself,
Does this guy ever have a bad day?

Along with his usual jeans and work boots, he was wearing an off-white, long-sleeved, thermal shirt that perfectly outlined his lean, muscular physique. His hair, which hung just at his shoulders, was gently blowing around in the light winter breeze and his eyes shown like brilliant sapphires against the freshly fallen snow. “Ready?” he asked as his mouth kicked up into sort of a half-grin. I shook my head yes.

“You’re not wearing a jacket,” I said. “Aren’t you cold?”

“It’s in the car. I don’t like to drive with it on,” he replied, then, as he led me to his car he added, “They live about a half-hour from here, but there shouldn’t be too much traffic on a Sunday.”

On the drive over, he named each person that would be there and gave me a quick low-down on each one. I remembered his brother and sister-in-law, Mike and Abby, and of course I remembered the bride and groom, Gavin and Julia, but I wasn’t sure about the others. I knew most of them had been sitting at our table at the reception, but I was confused about who was who.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, hanging a right. “When you get there and see everyone, you’ll remember.”

“I hope so,” I said, staring out the window at the neat little development of townhouses where Gavin and Julia lived. They all looked the same. We had gotten there quicker than I expected, but judging by all the cars in the driveway, it looked like we were the last ones to arrive.

The door swung open almost before we rang the bell. Julia stood in the doorway, with Gavin standing just behind her. “Tanner, Grace, we’re so glad you could make it,” Julia said as Gavin stuck his hand out to shake Tanner’s.

“Hey, buddy, glad you made it. Nice to see you again, Grace.”

“Nice to see you too,” I said, “It was a really great wedding.”

“Yeah, we had a good time, too,” Gavin said, wrapping his arm around his wife’s waist.

Julia rolled her eyes at him, but I could tell she was eating it up. “Come on in and grab yourselves a drink from the kitchen. Everyone’s either in the living room or the kitchen.”

She took our coats and put them in the guest bedroom, while Tanner, Gavin and I headed for the kitchen. Tanner hugged and kissed his way through the room, placing a reassuring hand on my lower back as he introduced me to this cousin or that. I was relieved to find that like he’d said, I did remember most of them. Then he grabbed us two beers and we meandered into the living room. The townhouse was very tastefully decorated, and I wondered if Julia and Gavin had done it all themselves. The floors were all hardwood and looked like they had just been refinished. There was a big stone fireplace blazing in the corner. The large wooden mantel held pictures of them on various vacations.

The couches were a deep brown color and big and plush, with lots of earth-toned pillows scattered about. In front of them, a large wooden coffee table held everyone’s drinks, and on the far wall was the biggest flat-screen TV I had ever seen. Just as I was taking a sip of my beer, Abby came into the room. “Tanner, Grace, it’s about time you guys got here. We were beginning to think Tanner was blowing us off again!”

Tanner playfully grabbed Abby by her shoulders. “What do you mean,
again
? I never blow you guys off!”

“That’s true,” Abby said. “You always say straight-out that you’re not coming.”

Everyone laughed at that one, including Tanner.

“Looks like Grace has made you into a new man,” she added. I felt everyone’s eyes shift to me and froze. I didn’t know what to say, but in a flash Tanner was at my side, “Yep, she sure has,” he said still laughing, and I’m sure it was my imagination, but I could swear that as he pulled me close, he inhaled the scent of my hair.

“Hey Grace,” Abby said, “Julia was just about to give us the grand tour. Do you want to tag along?”

“Sure,” I said, feeling relieved to be out of the spotlight. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” I whispered to Tanner as I joined the group of girls who were already starting up the stairs.

Abby hung back and waited for me. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you down there,” she said, as we brought up the rear. “Sometimes I like to give Tanner the business, but he’s used to it.”

“That’s okay, I didn’t mind,” I said quickly, hoping she’d give me some more information.

“It’s true, you know. First the wedding and now
this
. Tanner
never
comes to family parties. His mom is just over the moon about you.”

“Really?” I asked, but what I really wanted to ask her was why, why did he not go to family events? Why hadn’t he brought other girls around?
Why, why, why!

I wasted our last moments of privacy debating how to ask without looking desperate, then we caught up with the group and it was too late.

Julia showed us around the master bedroom, which was gorgeous, then the master bath, which was about the size of the dorm room I shared with Beth. There was also another smaller bedroom and a bathroom in the hallway. They had really done a great job of decorating.

When we got downstairs, all of the girls gathered in the kitchen. I would have rather gone to find Tanner, but not wanting to appear rude, I reluctantly followed. Just then, he appeared at my arm and steered me toward his cousin Will, who I vaguely remembered from the wedding. “Nice to see you again, Grace. I was just asking Tanner here if you had a sister you might want to introduce me to.”

“I got dibs if there’s a sister,” his cousin John, who was standing behind us, chimed in.

It might have been my imagination, but Tanner looked a bit bewildered by the comments.

“Um, well, I do have a sister, but she’s only fourteen.”

“Ah, too bad.” Will jerked his head toward Tanner. “Well, if you ever get tired of this guy, give me a call.”

I just smiled as he turned and made his way back to the kitchen. “Isn’t he here with someone?” I whispered to Tanner, who seemed obviously distracted by the exchange.

“Uh, no. He and John came together. Will was dating someone for a while, but I heard they broke up. I’m not sure if John is seeing anyone.”

“I thought it was all couples here…”

“No,” he said, still distracted, “some of the girls are friends of Julia’s.” He pushed the sleeves of his thermal to just below his elbows. “Hey, I’m gonna go get another beer. You want one?”

“No, I’m good,” I said, holding up the nearly full bottle in my hand. Tanner headed into the kitchen, leaving me standing there alone and uncomfortable. I wandered into the dining room, looking at all the pictures they had on the wall. Through the open French doors I could see Gavin, Mike and a couple others on the back deck, a bottle of liquor, whiskey perhaps, on the table in front of them. Behind them, I saw the snow-covered trees and shivered involuntarily. What was the fun of standing out in the freezing cold?

“Hey, Grace,” Galvin shouted, “come do a shot with us.”

“Oh, no thanks,” I said, automatically looking around for Tanner.

“Come on, Grace, we won’t tell Tanner,” Mike said, which made me and the others laugh.

Just then, Julia appeared and grabbed my arm. “Come on, Grace. I don’t want to be the only girl.”

“Oh…okay,” I said as she ushered me out to the deck. As Gavin handed each of us a shot I glanced around again for Tanner, but he was nowhere in sight.

“To the newlyweds!” Mike toasted as we all clinked our glasses together and said in unison, “To the newlyweds!” I stared briefly at the shot, then closed my eyes and tossed it back, not giving myself a chance to taste the bitter liquid. My eyes squeezed shut as it burned down the back of my throat. After it was down, I took a big gulp of beer to get the taste out of my mouth. I’d never been a fan of hard liquor.

“Are you guys trying to get my girl drunk?” Tanner said, slipping his arm around my waist, “‘Cause that’s
ooookay
with me.”

Everyone cracked up, but I felt the heat rising to my face.

“I don’t know where you found this one, Tanner,” Gavin said, “but you better hold onto her.”

Tanner smiled, but once again he seemed taken aback. Of course, it could have just been my imagination… or the shot. A moment later, Julia asked if I could help her put the food out and I reluctantly followed her into the kitchen.

She’d kept it simple, just sandwiches and salads, which were both perfect and timely. I needed to get something in my stomach after doing that shot. It was a casual affair, with everyone just grabbing a seat wherever they could find one. The guys kept offering me drinks, but I switched to soda. After all, I
did
have class the next day, plus I had no desire to make a fool of myself in front of Tanner’s family.

By eight o’clock, everyone was getting ready to go. Still, it took another thirty minutes or so to say our goodbyes, during which Tanner endured more ribbing about not staying in touch. Finally, after thanking Gavin and Julia for having us over, we walked out with Mike and Abby.

“I’ll see you soon, kid,” Mike said to Tanner as he slapped him on the back. Then he turned to me, saying, “It was great seeing you again, Grace. We’ll have to do it again soon.”

“Yeah,” Abby added, “let’s get together again. Tanner, bring Grace over to meet the boys. They haven’t seen you since Christmas.”

“I’m sure we could arrange that,” Tanner said as he grabbed my hand.

On the drive home, I noticed that Tanner wasn’t nearly as talkative as he had been on the way over. At first I thought that maybe he was just tired from his busy week, but when we got back to the dorm, he didn’t park and walk me to the door like he usually did—he just pulled up in front, said he’d see me at class and gave me a peck on the cheek.

What the hell?
I reminded myself that we had a great day and everyone got in a quiet mood once in a while.
Just chill, Grace
.

When I got upstairs, Beth was waiting. I recounted every minute of the day, smiling as I told her about the shots on the deck. I didn’t bother mentioning how quiet he had been in the car. Satisfied that I had filled her in on everything, she said, “Oh, by the way, Thomas is coming to visit again in a few weeks. I was thinking that maybe the four of us could do something together.”

“Oh, Beth, that would be great,” I said, stifling a sudden yawn. “I’ll tell Tanner, but right now I gotta go to bed.”

As I slipped under the covers a few minutes later, I was already planning what the four of us would do.
Just two couples, hanging out. Awesome.

I couldn’t wait to see Tanner in class on Tuesday, but from the moment he walked in he seemed a little off. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something wasn’t right. I tried to convince myself it was just my imagination, but it was the same thing at the gym. He was acting…aloof. After the gym, he made a vague comment about getting together over the weekend, then we parted ways. The whole rest of the day and most of the night, I couldn’t stop thinking about the weird vibe he’d been putting out.