Illusion (9 page)

Laughing bitterly, I shook my head.  “You just don’t get it, do you?  There is no gray area with me.  I either like you or I don’t.  I may have to tolerate you because of who and what you are, but that’s all it will ever be.  You’ll never be my father, Kian.  The only father I knew died four years ago.”

I watched as anger crept across his face, only to morph into a more tranquil expression.  “You wound me with your words.  You have not given me the opportunity to prove to you that I care.”

“Kian, I don’t want you to prove anything to me.  I want to be happy, to know that someone puts me ahead of an agenda.  I need someone to love me, not for who I am and not for what I can do,”  I said passionately, realizing I had just described how Stefan felt about me.  Despite standing in the gallery with my father, a warm feeling of love settled over my chest, enveloping me like a blanket.

Kian only clasped his hands behind his back.  He seemed to notice my change in moods and he studied my face intently.  “You are thinking about Stefan.  He treats you this way?”

Smiling softly, I reached to absently rub the necklace he had given me.  “I don’t tell him enough, but yes.  He loves me more that I can ever explain to you.  And I love him more than I ever thought possible.  If I had to, I’d kill to protect him.”

I meant every word I said.  If it came down to keeping Stefan safe or losing him, there wasn’t much I wouldn’t do.

His vivid green eyes widened.  “Those are strong words.”

Shrugging, I tossed my reddish-blond waves over my shoulder.  “I guess they are.  But if you’ve ever truly loved someone, that’s how you feel.”

Zipping my leather jacket, I crossed my arms under my chest.  “Goodbye, Kian.  I’m going to ask you nicely to not follow me again.”

I turned on my heel and started to walk away from him when I felt his hand on my elbow, pulling me back to him.  My eyes dropped to his hand before looking up to meet his unyielding stare.

“Little girl, you have no idea how to function in the world you are now part of.  There are rules, ways in which you behave.  You will not disrespect me.”

“Disrespect you?  I don’t even like you.  Whose fault is it that I know nothing about what I am?  I found out less than a week ago I’m not even fully human,” I hissed.  “Now take your fucking hands off of me.”

His hand flinched away like I burned him, his mouth twisting into a sneer.  He leaned so close that I could feel his cold breath on my face.  “You are so much like your mother.  Willful and determined.  Those two traits will either save you or destroy you.”

Thoughts of my mother drifted through my mind.  She’d stood up to him, but at what cost? “Is that a threat, Kian? If I don’t bow down to you, what are you going to do?  Threaten me?”  I questioned.  Turning my head slightly to the side, I appraised him with contempt.  “You seem to be the type.  Smooth on the outside, covering up the ugly inside.  If you can’t control me, what happens next?”

Kian glanced around the gallery uneasily, smoothing his hand over his neatly styled bright copper hair.  “I think you have me all wrong, my dear.  Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.”

It was almost comical to watch him back pedal, seeing his obvious regret that he had shown the side of him that he tried to keep hidden away.  He was scrambling, trying to salvage what was left of our relationship and his crumbling façade.

“Wrong answer.  I think I have you figured out, Kian.  You’re a megalomaniac that just revealed how truly disturbed you are.  I’m finished with this conversation, Kian.”  I backed away from him, my heels clicking on the concrete floor of the gallery.  When I pushed through the gallery doors, I walked calmly to the end of the block before breaking into a sprint, running two city blocks in my high-heeled boots.  When I saw our apartment building I almost cried in relief.  The doorman opened the door for me and I rushed past him, hurrying for the elevator while pulling out my cell phone.  Quickly dialing the number, I didn’t offer any greeting, just a breathless request.

“Please come home.  I need you.”

The elevator ride seemed to take forever.  I nervously paced from one side to the other, growing agitated as it slowly moved through the floors.  Lukas was the first thing I saw when the doors opened.

He was waiting for me when I stepped out of the elevator.  His patrician, handsome face was lined with concern.  His thin lips, normally pursed were now set in a thin line of worry.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder in comfort as he ushered me towards the apartment.  “He’s on his way.  Sweetheart, what the hell happened?”

“Inside,” I muttered, unlocking the door and pulled Lukas with me.  My hands flew over the locks, sliding deadbolts closed and rattling the doorknob.  Peeling my leather jacket off, I was still winded from my impromptu run.  I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, opening it and taking deep swallows.

“Josie, please start talking.”

I sat the water down on the counter and had just opened my mouth to speak when the locks on the door began turning.  Stefan burst into the room, looking around the anxiously until he found me standing in the kitchen.  He didn’t acknowledge Lukas’ presence. He rushed to my side and jerked me in his arms, muttering inaudibly against my hair.  I clutched at him, my fingers twisting in his shirt.  The adrenaline rush that had propelled me to run had disappeared and I began sobbing, my knees giving out on me.  Stefan sank to the floor with me, rocking me tightly against him.

“Lukas? What happened?” Stefan demanded harshly.

“I don’t know.  She hadn’t had the chance to tell me anything.”

“Kian,” I sputtered.  “Stefan, let me show you.”

Giving him access to my memories, I replayed my confrontation with my father for him.  Stefan stiffened against me and I looked up at his face.  His blond eyebrows were angry slashes over his glacial blue eyes.  His lips were pulled tightly back, exposing his teeth.

“What?!? Will someone tell me what’s going on?” Lukas asked, tapping his foot impatiently.

“Josephine had an argument with her father.  He apparently followed her and confronted her,”  Stefan said, placing a kiss against the top of my head.

Lukas was on the floor beside us before I even realized he’d moved.  His fangs had dropped and he looked terrifying, so unlike the sweet Lukas I knew.  “If that bastard even thinks he’s going to mess with her, I’ll end him, Stefan.”

Stefan let out a resigned sigh.  He reached to place a hand on Lukas’ shoulder.  “No one is ending anyone, Lukas.  Only the game has changed.  We knew it would happen eventually.”  He focused his attention back on me, smoothing my hair back from my tear-stained face.  “Vackra, did he harm you?”

“No.  But he’s a monster.”

“You are safe now.”  He nodded towards Lukas, who stroked my arm gently before rising gracefully to his feet and leaving the apartment.

Stefan scooped me up in his arms and carried me into the bedroom, sitting me down carefully on the bed.  He motioned for me to lay down and he sat next to me.  He removed my ankle boots, placing them on the floor beside the bed.  He laid down beside of me, collecting me in the strong embrace of his arms, whispering against my temple.  “Han kommer aldrig att röra dig.  Om det är det sista jag gör på denna jord, kommer jag att dö skydda dig.  Du är mitt liv, min kärlek.”

I let out a shaky sigh as I breathed in the comforting smell of his skin.  “When you speak in your native tongue, it sounds so beautiful.  What did you just say?”

“You will not be happy with what I said.”

I pushed against his chest.  “I’m already unhappy.  Unless you just told me we’re over, I think I can deal with whatever you said.”

Stefan let out a weary sigh.  “I used to be a much stronger vampire.  I give in to every whim, every request you have.”  He smiled ruefully and rested his face against my hair.  “I told you that he will never touch you.  If it is the last thing I do on this earth, I will die protecting you.  You are my life, my love.”

Letting out a dry laugh, I leaned back to look at his face.  His handsome face was lined with worry and a lock of his straight blond hair fell across his forehead.  I reached up to cup his cheek, my thumb tracing the taut skin over his cheekbone.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I told Kian that I would kill to keep you safe.  That if it came down to losing you or keeping you with me, I would do anything.”

His eyes sparkled as he stared down at me.  “You are my match in every way.  How I lived centuries without you mystifies me.”

“So let’s keep each other safe, ok?”

He nodded and grinned.  His hand started traveling down my back to cup my ass lightly, squeezing my one of my cheeks in his large hand.  “Did you actually call Kian a megalomaniac?”

“I took psychology courses in college,” I retorted.  “If the shoe fits…”

“Dr.  Anderson, can you diagnose me?”  His voice was teasing as he kissed my nose and pressed a light kiss on my mouth.  I pecked at his lip with my teeth and he growled lightly as I drew blood.  I traced the outline of his lips with my tongue and licked the blood away, moaning softly at the taste of his bittersweet blood in my mouth.

“You are a sexy beast with control issues.  You can be overbearing, dominating and scheming,”  I murmured softly.  Stefan looked offended for a moment.  He started to speak and I pressed the tip of my index finger against his lips.  “You also happen to be the most generous, wonderful, loving, over-protective vampire I know.  I love you, Stefan.  Until the stars stop shining.”

“You say things such as this and have the nerve to call me a sweet talker,” Stefan admonished and kissed me lightly.  “Promise me that if you go out you will take someone with you, either myself or Lukas.”

“I promise.”

* * *

We’d fallen asleep tangled in each other’s arms.  It was early evening and the room was glowing with the warm colors of sunset.  Glancing at the clock, I wiped at the moisture that had beaded on my forehead.  I was cocooned in Stefan’s arms and normally his cool body kept me comfortable, however our combined body heat had caused a sheen of sweat to dampen my clothing.  I placed my hand against his cheek, shocked to find his face warm underneath my palm.  I moved my hand to his arm and his skin felt the same: warm.  How had this happened?  And why?

 “Stefan.”  I shook his shoulder.

He groaned and slumped deeper into the pillow.  I shook him again.

“Stefan, you need to wake up.”

He slowly opened his eyes, staring at me with unfocused eyes.  “Josephine?”

“You’re warm!”

“What are you talking about, vackra?” Rubbing his face with his hand, he was struggling to catch up.

“Something has happened.  When I woke up I felt like I was on fire.  You’re warm,” I blurted out.  I probably wasn’t making a lot of sense.  “Feel me.”

Stefan was fully awake when I said that.  His look of confusion changed to a sultry smirk, his eyebrows waggling suggestively at my words.

“I don’t mean what you’re thinking, Romeo.”  I smacked his arm in exasperation.

Stefan sat up and massaged his arm where I hit him.  His eyes widened as he moved his hand from his arm to touch the side of my face.  His long fingers were tepid against my face.

“I am not warmer.  You are the same temperature as me,” Stefan replied, his voice barely audible.  “You are changing.”

“Changing?”

Stefan exhaled a heavy breath.  “When we were at the carriage house and you were resting, Kian told me that you would change to become more like a vampire.  My influence and blood has only accelerated the process.”

“Oh.”  My response didn’t sound very intelligent.  I really wasn’t sure what to say.

“You are stronger.”  He rubbed his arm again.  “Not so fragile and breakable.  I will not have to be as gentle with you now.”

His unguarded thoughts flooded my mind.  He was imaging all the things he could do now that I was a much sturdier version of Josephine.

“What else is going to change?” I bit my lip.  Was I going to keep changing day by day? Would I have fangs tomorrow?  Swallowing nervously, I tried to fight the panic that was rising inside of me.  I twisted my hands nervously in my lap as I glanced at him.

“That I cannot answer for you.  It will be fine, Josephine.  You need to relax,” Stefan said soothingly.

His cell phone rang, shrill and loud.  He glanced at the screen and frowned.  “This will just take a minute.”

He left the room, muttering softly into the phone.  I heard him go into his office and I didn’t think.  I just reacted.  I bent down to grab my boots and moved silently up the hallway.  Grabbing my purse, I inched the door open and quietly stepped out into the hallway.  As I closed the door, I ran for the elevator, jabbing the down button repeatedly.

“C’mon, c’mon,” I grumbled, shooting an anxious look back at the apartment door, praying that it didn’t open.  When the elevator finally arrived, I let out a sigh of relief.

And for the second time today, I ran.

* * *

I ended up at a coffee shop in Chelsea Market, finishing my third cup of espresso.  It had done nothing to calm my nerves, only making me jittery and adding to my paranoia.  Stefan had called my cell phone at least 20 times in the last hour, my phone chiming after receiving yet another voice mail message from him.  I was sure he was furious with me.