Illicit (12 page)

The next morning he was there as promised, and suddenly I was back to being shy again. I had no idea how we were going to do this now, how things were going to be between us after everything that we had shared.

Up until the day that I became sick, I’d hardly ever seen him at school. Would I see more of him now or would he go back into hiding? Though he had promised not to disappear, that didn’t mean he wanted everyone to know about this, whatever this was.

And all those things he said last night, will he still mean them in the cold light of day? Or will they fade now that things were back to normal?

I had all these questions and uncertainties plaguing me as I realized that we were going back to reality. Those few days with just the two of us had been magic, now it was over and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face whatever comes next.

"Did you sleep well lyubof?" He took my bag and my hand as he walked me to his waiting car. My hand tingled where his palm met mine, but I didn’t have time to ponder the strange phenomena. There were eyes on us this morning after all.

Dad stood in the doorway watching us, suspiciously I bet, but after a gruff ‘good morning’ the two hadn’t said much more to each other.

"Yes thank you and you?"

I was extremely nervous for some unknown reason, which made no sense at all. We'd spent the last few days practically in each other's pockets and now I felt out of my depth again.

Even when he’d been being all- mysterious, and I hardly knew him, I don’t recall being this nervous in his presence.

I think this level of uncertainty stemmed from what happened in that bathtub. Not so much our dalliances in my dreams, those could be written off as fantasy, but the bath had been all too real.

My whole body went up in flames at the memory and I had to clear my suddenly dry throat.

"I missed being with you, I’ve grown accustomed to having you near these last few days, so I didn't get much sleep." He let me go long enough to open my door for me, and seat me, even going so far as to buckle me in.

That somehow warmed me all over and I started to relax with the biggest cheesiest grin on my face.

"Good." I teased him as he slid into the driver’s seat.

"It's good that I had a restless night?" He teased back as he ran his hand down my hair before giving it a gentle tug.

"No, it's good you missed me, I missed you too.” He made as if to kiss me but pulled himself back at the last second. I felt the disappointment in my soul.

He reached for my hand with his instead and I felt that zing again. It was almost like an electrical charge that ran from the place where we touched, up my arm and down through the rest of my body.

A peek at him out the corner of my eye didn’t show any change in his demeanor, so I didn’t know if he felt the same thing.

I fretted for a moment about what the day might hold. I could not put a name to it, but there was definitely something different between us this morning.

I took comfort from his hand on mine, and the feeling of security it gave. Just as quickly as the feeling of comfort came, it was taken away.

In its place was a darkness that was seen out the windows of the car. He felt it too because his hand moved in mine before his jaw tightened and he took his hand from mine so that he could steer the car with both of his.

I felt the fear from my dreams here, felt them rising up inside me, “be still Milaya, all is well.” Another look at his face showed him to be angry but trying to hide it.

“What’s going on?” I felt hunted, the sound of wings beat outside the window, but when I looked, expecting some great bird, there was nothing but darkness and a strong wind.

“It’s nothing baby, just the wind.” He took my hand again as the wind beat against the car, battering it as though it weighed nothing.

But his words calmed me and when he lifted my hand to his lips everything else disappeared.

My heart still raced with some unknown fear but his nearness and reassurance seemed to have a very calming affect on me and I was able to release the breath I’d been holding.

Outside there was still a menacing dark cloud above the car, but the wind no longer seemed so, threatening.

It was then I remembered where I’d heard that wind before, at night, outside my bedroom window. That wind has been blowing in just that way since I came here.

That can’t be normal can it? How could the wind make the exact same sounds like that?

I came out of my reverie when I felt his lips on mine. It was brief, he was driving after all, but it was enough to clear every thought from my head. So that by the time we pulled onto the school grounds I had all but forgotten what had spooked me in the first place.

The school grounds were littered with the usual suspects; of course no one missed me getting out of his car, or the way he came around to let me out; or the fact that he had his arm around me.

There were more than a few unhappy faces as we walked by, but I didn't care, I felt like I was part of the high school experience for the first time in my life. I had a boyfriend; at least I think I did.

"You most certainly do malenkaya."

See, mind reader, weird. By the time we cleared the doors I had already forgotten our trip here and the weird feeling of being followed.

A cold wind blew by me and the door slammed shut at my back making me jump. Through the glass slit in the door I saw that dark cloud out there.

It looked menacing and I felt those fingers of fear creep up my spine again before he wrapped his arm around me and walked away from the entrance.

I thought he would leave me at the first bell, but was pleasantly surprised when he followed me to class and took the seat next to me.

"Don't you have to get to your class?"

"This is my class."

"But..."

"Keep it for later love."

I was confused, had he changed his classes to be with me? I got my answer when the teacher entered the room and saw him.

"Mr. Azarov, so nice of you to join us again. I was beginning to worry that my star pupil had flown the coop."

I could only look at him with my mouth open; this was his class? What was going on?

"Ssh, settle down Jasmine I will explain everything later, there's nothing for you to worry about."

That's easy for him to say; now I'm totally confused and feeling insecure again, had he left to avoid me? Lots of thoughts went through my head in just a few short minutes, none of them good.

But then he started tracing the curve of my spine with his thumb and I lost the ability to think.

I'm pretty sure I did things in class but couldn't tell you what, and by the time he joined me in the next, I'd forgotten what I'd been so worried about.

He wasn't in all of them, so I wasn't going to see him again until lunch. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do once I got there though. Should I go to his table, sit alone what?

I thought maybe he'd pulled his disappearing act again when I got to the cafeteria, but then I saw his sister beckoning me over.

I wasn't quite sure what to do with her, she did strike me as kind of strange with the things she'd said to me in the past, but she seemed normal enough today for someone who spoke without breathing.

This huge guy with biceps like pythons was also sitting there, and he got the biggest grin on his face when he saw me. Before I knew it I was airborne and being spun around like a rag doll.

"Release her." His menacing voice came from behind us and my heart dropped; oh crap. I opened my mouth to tell him nothing was amiss, but the behemoth beat me to it.

"Nuh uh bro, you gotta share."

"Bryce..." he stepped forward with his hands out to take me.

"Okay, okay, put the death rays away." The big lug put me down as gently as he would a newborn and stepped back still with his hands clasping my shoulders.

"Welcome to the family little Jazz." He kissed my cheek quickly with a cheeky grin for his brother.

Thorn pulled me back from his hands and under his own arm.

"Jazz this is my brother Bryson and my sister Natalia you already know yes?"

"Hi guys, nice to meet you." I think I was a little shell shocked if that was the right word for it.

Everyone in the cafeteria was of course watching all of this, and there were more than a few murmurs going around, as Thorn led me to a chair and seated me, before taking the seat next to mine.

He never stopped touching me, his arm resting across the back of my chair, or playing with the ends of my hair.

Each time he whispered in my ear it sent a thrill through my heart and I soon forgot about the eyes on us.

He watched me eat to make sure I had enough, but I'm pretty sure he didn't know a thing about the eating habits of teenage girls, because he tried to stuff me with enough food to feed a battalion.

"You must eat Jasmine."

"Yes I know but I'm quite sure no one except maybe Bryson could eat all of that." At which point the boy-man in question proceeded to polish off the food on my tray.

Something came up that evening and I didn’t get to meet his family after all. I didn’t mind too much since he stayed with me, though he seemed rather preoccupied.

He seemed overly interested in the trees outside, and spent an inordinate amount of time checking around outside. For what, I don’t know, since every time I asked he’d say it was nothing.

I was beginning to get annoyed by his lack of attention and was pouting when he finally turned to me on the couch.

Dad was pulling another overnighter and I was glad for the company, besides, I wasn’t sure how I would survive without having him there after spending so much time with him in the last few days.

Like him, I’d grown used to having him with me to the point that any form of lengthy separation left me feeling ill. It’s as if I needed his touch to breathe.

But now he wouldn’t even touch me, not even to hold my hand, and I missed his touch so very much. In fact, I had the fanciful notion that it was his touch that had healed me, which of course brought to mind the overheard conversation he’d had with my father.

He seemed a bit distant tonight though, and I felt that pain in my heart that had been gone for the last few days.

Was he tired of me already, had he grown bored with looking after the weak little girl? I felt tears gather at the corners of my eyes. I don’t think I’ve cried this much since I was a kid.

I bit my lip to keep any sound from escaping, but the pain in my chest was almost more than I could bear. These up and down emotions were too much. Only this morning I was on top of the world, now I felt like the bottom of the barrel.

He seemed to sense my distress, because suddenly, he turned to me, his eyes wide with concern. “What is it little one?”

He can’t be that dense surely. He’d gone from loving kindness, to this cold distant stranger, and he had the nerve to ask me that? I was suddenly so angry I could chew nails, or bash him over the head with a clue.

Instead I just folded my arms and ignored him as I pretended a sudden interest in what was on the television.

“Talk to me malenkaya, why are you so angry with me?” Did he really need me to spell it out? Somehow I don’t think so, he seems to know everything else, let him figure it out.

He obviously did not like being ignored because the next thing I knew, he was turning me to look at him and when that didn’t work, I found myself dragged onto his lap.

He kissed my hair and squeezed me, which went a long way to soothing some of my pique, but not all the way.

You can’t just give a girl all that love and attention one moment and just snatch it away the next.

It’s like teasing a kid with their favorite toy and then holding it just out of reach.

I tried a different tack, something I would never have done in a million years had it not been for the last few days, and the way he’d been with me. And let’s not forget the bath incident.

I tried out my new wiles on him, holding my breath as I placed my lips over his. The touch though fleeting was electric.

It was fleeting because as soon as our lips touched he drew away as if burned. I was mortified to say the least and jumped off of his lap to run for the sanctity of my room.

I heard his footsteps behind me as I slammed the door and tried to lock it behind me, but he was there, pushing the door open with his foot before I could.

“Go away I don’t want you here.” I ran to the bed and pulled the covers over my head. Maybe I’ll call mom and tell her I’m moving back, because there was no way I would be able to face him again after this.

I felt him climb in behind me, and my traitorous heart skipped a beat when he wrapped his arms around me covers and all.

Why did he have this affect on me? Why was it that just the touch of his arms could make everything that was wrong seem so right?

I wanted to scream and hit to ease the pain in my heart. He couldn’t feel for me what I felt for him, not if he could so easily refuse me even the simplest kiss.

It was obvious now that he was sorry that he’d done that, and that hurt worst of all, that he could regret that moment that meant so much to me.

How could I have been so stupid? in the end I couldn’t keep the tears at bay and my body shook with the force of them as I tried to purge the pain from my heart.

Who was I kidding? There was no way I would ever get over him, not if I lived to be a hundred. This pain felt as if it would stay with me always, as if I would carry it for the rest of my days.

Had I been in my right mind I would see how overly dramatic I was being, but I’m afraid when it comes to Thorn Azarov I have to control over anything.