Igniting Ash (24 page)

Chapter 24

“Emma?”

Emma opened her eyes to see her father enter the hospital room. The worry etched across his forehead explained his cautious tone, although he calmed a little when he saw her. She squinted through her blurry vision. Her head throbbed, every movement felt like torture, and when she attempted to move, her ribs screamed in protest.

“Hey,” her father soothed. “Don’t try to move, honey. Stay still and you’ll be just fine.”

She offered him a weak smile, but the moment she did the side of her face exploded with shards of pain. “Ow. Oh, ow, that hurts.” Her voice was gravelly and raw. She now understood what people meant when they said they felt like they’d been run over by a truck. If flashes of what happened in Asher’s bookshop weren’t front and centre in her head, a runaway truck would have been her first guess.

“Dad, I—”

“Hush now. You rest.” He stroked a strand of hair from her face. “Close your eyes. I’ll sit here while you sleep. You won’t be alone.”

She understood his unspoken message. However, resting was the last thing she could do right now. After everything that had happened, she only wanted to know one thing. “Where’s Asher?”

His one quick look toward the door had her heart pounding and panic lacing her blood. Something was very wrong. Her father placed his hand on her arm, lowering his head before he spoke. “Asher isn’t here.”

“What do you mean?” She swung her legs, making a move from the bed. Pain sliced through her, the grumble at her father morphing into a scream. He scooped her up and shifted her back onto the bed, but she couldn’t focus on anything except the pulsing horror within her. Scrunching her eyes closed, Emma sucked her breath in steadily between her teeth. It stung; everything did. How could merely breathing be so painful?

“You shouldn’t go exerting yourself, sweetheart. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal and your body needs to start healing.”

“Asher,” she hissed. “Tell me about Asher.”

“Meagan’s on her way,” Jonathan stated as if he hadn’t heard her demand. “We’ll no doubt hear about her arrival before we see her. She likes to make an entrance, that girl.”

Emma forced her eyes open, the shards of light lancing through her head. “Daddy. Please.”

Jonathan’s lips thinned as he sat down on the edge of her bed. Her father appeared to have aged ten years in a matter of hours. Or had it been days? She didn’t have the slightest clue.

He took her hand between his, taking for too long to speak. “Do you…Emma, do you remember what happened?”

Snapshots of the bookshop burst into her brain like the rapid flash of a camera. So much blood. So much anger. So much aggression. How could she forget any of that? Ever. Asher had morphed into someone she didn’t recognise, and all she wanted now was to know what had happened. Where was he?

Jonathan brought their hands up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “You’re safe here, sweetheart. Safe.”

“Asher?” she repeated, squeezing her father’s hand as tightly as she could.

“He was arrested.”

Emma whimpered, her bottom lip wobbling as tears welled in her eyes. “It wasn’t him,” she stated, struggling to speak through her sore, dry throat. “Asher didn’t hurt me. Help him, Daddy.”

“It wasn’t you he was arrested for. He was taken into custody for what he did to William Dearing.”

Emma replayed his words, trying to make sense of them. She hadn’t known
his
name, but with the same last name as Gabe she knew who he was referring to. William had attacked her. He’d kept her hostage, using her to garner payment from her father. Surely Gabe or Asher had told the police that.

“He hurt me.” She removed her hand from his and started to worry the bed sheets. “Gabe’s brother hurt me. He did this to me.”

“I know. Gabe explained. However, William was in no state to give a statement. He’s in surgery now. Emma, Asher beat him up pretty badly.”

A tear dropped onto her cheek. “He was protecting me.”

“I know that. It’s just…he was rather
excessive
.”

She shifted in the bed, adjusting her position as much as she could without causing further pain. “What do I need to do to help him? When are the police coming to take my statement?”

Jonathan placed his hand on her shoulder. “Calm down. Getting yourself so stressed over this will not help you or Asher. Tell me how you’re doing, how you feel.”

“Gabe? Where’s Gabe then? He saw what his brother was doing to me. He saw it all.”

“He gave his statement. Now, can you stop worrying and rest?”

Emma shook her head gingerly, hoping she didn’t make her throbbing headache worse. “You have to help him, Dad.”

“He will be fine.”

“No!” she said, starting to panic. “He won’t be fine. Asher isn’t strong like that. You have to help him. Promise me. Whatever it takes I want you to do it.”

Her father stroked his hand along her arm but it didn’t soothe her. “I can talk to him.”

She shook her head again. “No. He won’t tell you the truth. Dad, I don’t ask you for anything. However, I am
begging
you for this. Please help him.” She lowered her voice. “I love him.”

“Ah,” he replied, patting her hand. “I see. He was doing more than protecting you. He was getting revenge for what William had put you through.”

“I’m not sure Asher was thinking that clearly to be able to confirm that. I couldn’t see very well. My head was swimming and my vision was blurry. I heard him, and then felt Gabe next to me. I can’t tell you what happened between them.” Another tear dropped down into her lap. She’d never felt so useless. The thought of Asher alone in a police cell was just too much. He wouldn’t deal well with it. She knew that without question, and if her father could help then she was going to do anything she could to get him on board. No matter how much her body protested.

“The police will want to talk to you about it all. I’m sure that will be distressing enough without taking on Asher’s problems. I do understand that he was acting on instinct but Emma, he went a little further than that. I’m not certain anything I do can help him.”

She gasped, her father’s words sinking in, leaving her mind racing away. “Did he…? Oh, my god, did Asher
kill
William?”

Fear took hold, gripping her chest tight. There really wouldn’t be anything she could do if Asher had gone too far.

“No, sweetheart,” her father replied, his voice gruff. “Calm down. It seems Gabe kept a clear head and managed to get through to Asher. Gabe said you did too. Asher stopped for you.”

She gawked, letting his words absorb as her heartbeat slowed. For one fleeting moment she’d thought the worst, knowing how Asher could flip from one extreme to the other. She’d seen him do that. She’d seen the anger that bubbled within him, and although she couldn’t recall all the events in the bookshop, she could remember his fists hitting William repeatedly.

Reaching toward the cup of water on the table, she winced and gripped her side. Jonathan passed it to her instead and she took a huge gulp to ease her raw throat. “So they have him for assault? I hope they get William too.”

“I’m sure he’ll be answering questions. When he comes out of surgery.”

“This is such a mess.” She slumped in the bed. “Tell me you’ll help him. He might have gone about it wrong but he was looking after me.” Her protests were sapping her energy; her eyelids growing heavy. “Is Gabe okay?”

Jonathan raised his hand and began to stroke strands of hair from her face. “Gabe wasn’t hurt. The hospital checked him over but the blood was yours and his brother’s. He’s waiting at the police station to hear about Asher.”

She couldn’t help it; her heart leapt at the thought of the friendship the two men had struck up. Asher had helped Gabe and now Gabe was waiting for his friend. It was more than she could have hoped for.

“That’s good,” she said on an exhale.

“Close your eyes, sweetheart. Rest. All this will be resolved by the time you wake up.”

Emma hummed as sleep beckoned her. Her father never moved from his spot on the bed, his fingers stroking her face tenderly.

***

When Emma next woke up her headache had thankfully dulled. Her father’s spot on the bed was empty but she wasn’t alone.

“Hey, Priss,” Gabe greeted her from the chair in the corner of the room. Dark circles rested under his eyes, his skin sallow and grey.

“You look like shit, Gabe.”

He snorted. “You don’t look so great yourself. How are you feeling?”

“Better than earlier.” She hid a wince as she sat up. “How are
you
doing?”

“You shouldn’t be asking me that. I’m not the one who’s been beaten up and put into a hospital bed.”

“No, but you’re the one who stopped it being far worse.”

Gabe shook his head. “Nah that was Ash. We saw you in the window. We saw what he was doing to you. I wanted to smash the window right away but Asher had me call the police first.”

The sound of Asher’s roar reverberated around her skull. She’d never forget that sound. Ever. “He was right. You both saved me.”

Pushing his fingers through his blond hair, he scowled at her. “I only did what he said. He dealt with…”

“Your brother,” she said, finishing his sentence. “He told me. It was him who hurt you.”

“And now he’s done the same to you. It’s my fault. If I’d told you and the social workers who it was.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered, Gabe.” She moved carefully to the edge of the bed, reaching out for his hand. “He told me he had been watching me, knew my father had some money. William was going to make my father pay for me. You confessing it was him wouldn’t have made a difference. He already knew what he was going to do.”

“He would have been arrested for abusing me though.” His hand tightened over hers.

“Then he wouldn’t have gotten to me this week. It would have been further down the line. Do not blame yourself for this. It was all on William.”

He didn’t seem convinced, although he didn’t argue the point. Instead, he offered up what she desperately wanted. “The police have released Asher. He’s on bail, so he’s not off the hook yet. I came here as soon as I made sure he got home okay.”

Her stomach sank, her insides filling with disappointment. “He went straight home?”

“Um, yeah. I thought he’d want to come here. When I asked him he refused to talk about it. I tried.” Emma couldn’t think of a response. His rejection stung. “I bet he’ll come by later,” Gabe added. “He will. I know it. Asher’s hung up bad on you, Priss. That’s why he went crazy on Will.”

Emma wasn’t convinced. She’d seen Asher shut down before and she couldn’t help wonder if this was something she wouldn’t be able to help him out of. Had the sight of her being attacked taken it’s toil on him and pushed him too far?

“Is your brother out of surgery yet?”

Gabe sneered. “Doctor came to see me just after I got here. The bastard will live. They stopped the bleeding and have stitched him up. None of it is life threatening. The police are waiting to speak to him.”

She flopped back on her pillow and stared up at the ceiling. “This is such a mess.”

“And most of it is my fault.”

“Don’t,” she said before he could carry on. “I can do without you blaming yourself. My dad can sort this out. He’s going to do what he can. Was he here when you arrived?”

“Yeah. He went for a coffee and food. You say I look like shit, well your dad looked worse. He’s been here the whole time.”

“And you’ve been waiting with Asher the whole time too. The things we do for people we care about, huh?”

“Are you really doing okay?”

She shot him a small smile. “Well I haven’t seen the damage in a mirror yet. That could be a different answer entirely. Right now, my head still smarts a bit, my ribs ache and take my breath away when I move, and my jaw feels like it’s being compressed in a vice. I’m dealing with it because I keep thinking it might have been worse. I’m here. I’m smiling.”

“Sort of.”

A knock on the door had her gaze snapping toward it. Her pulse fluttered at her wrist and hope blossomed only to wilt moments later. It wasn’t Asher.

“Miss Carnes? I’m Officer Galloway, are you comfortable with speaking to us about the events at Hidden Treasures?”

Chapter 25

Asher

Asher sat in the corner of the shop that had once been his haven. The police had taken what they needed and left him with the aftermath. Blood splattered the books as well as the shelves, and there was a small, dried pool of it just across from the door. The window had been boarded over again, glass scattered in a similar pattern as before. It would need yet another replacement.

He looked around, no longer recognising his home. What had once been a bubble of safety and warmth had now burst, leaving behind a void of destruction. He doubted the place would ever be the same for him again. Sure, he could fix the window, clean the blood, and even paint the walls. It wouldn’t change the bones of the building though, and those bones had been warped.

Hidden Treasures would never be the same again.

And neither would he.

Terror had taken a stranglehold on him when he’d seen Emma cowering away from Gabe’s brother. His vision turned red, and all caution fled. Every cell in his body called out for him to rescue her. Only when he’d hauled William off her, he couldn’t stop. He remembered the satisfying crunch as his first punch connected with the bastard’s face. There was no going back after that. Driven by the feelings that had encompassed him as a child, he raised his fist again and tightened his hold on Gabe’s brother. Asher didn’t even see William after the second punch. He saw each one of his mother’s boyfriend’s. Each punch he delivered gave him a twisted sense of retribution. However, now that he had clarity on his side it was obvious how wrong that was, and yet he didn’t regret what he’d done.

He’d put a man in hospital—done what he had vowed never to do—and couldn’t even say it was all for Emma. The truth of it was that after the first punch it had stopped being about retribution for his girl and more about retribution for himself. He’d turned into the monster he’d tried so hard to avoid.

At times he’d felt the venom lace his blood, was aware as his hands clenched and muscles tightened. Each step closer to becoming that person sickened him enough to be able to back down. Just not this time. On this occasion his escalation had been rapid and intense. Asher hadn’t even been aware of the ferocity until he’d already smacked William around a bit. By then he was too far gone to pull himself out of the fiery pit. All that drove him had been his anger and the need for revenge.

He stared at his swollen knuckles, still astounded by what he’d done. His phone rang, and for the fourth time that day he ignored it. It would be either Gabe or Emma. He refused to speak to either of them. Gabe could do without having another monster in his life and the same went for Emma. She faced William down and been so brave under his abuse. Asher wouldn’t risk her getting hurt again.

He was staying away from her. No matter what it cost him, or how much it gutted him.

Emma had changed him. However, all of that had been for nothing, because at the end of it all he’d turned out exactly as he’d feared. He wouldn’t turn Emma into his mother. She was too good a person to live like that. It would crucify him to know she was scared of him.

The phone carried on ringing, annoying the hell out of him. He grunted as he stood up and walked over to the shop phone. With one quick swipe he knocked the handset off its base. The ringing stopped. Asher slumped back onto the floor, careful not to land on the scattered glass shards. Sadly, silence didn’t return. Instead, the familiar sound of the operator asking if he wanted to accept the call drifted from the phone. His blood boiled, and he clenched his teeth as he acted without thinking.

He accepted the call and waited to hear his mother’s voice.

“Asher?”

“Here.” He didn’t bother hiding his attitude.

“Hey, it’s me. How’s your day been?”

“Fucking disgusting. I’m fairly sure I’ve lost everything that ever fucking mattered to me. Lost the lot.”

Her breathing filled the silence and it was a few minutes before she spoke. “Would you like to tell me about it? I’m sure you haven’t lost everything, honey.”

“And you’d know that how?” His voice rose. “You’ve got no clue about me or my life. You don’t have the tiniest idea. For years you turned your back so that you didn’t have to accept what was going on. Even then you had no idea how much it all affected me. Either that or you didn’t care. Which was it,
Mum
?”

“Asher, I—”

“You what?” he bellowed. “What can you possibly say to make the fact that I beat a bloke to a pulp today seem like nothing? What can you do to fix my fucking broken mind because of the abuse I took from
your
men? And how can you heal me when I know I have to let go of the woman who holds my goddamned heart in her hands? You broke me and left me alone to fix myself.”

“I was a mess back then.”

“Shut up and listen!” He took a deep inhalation. “You call me, expecting me to be happy about that. You spout your pearls of poison, acting like you know about my life when you know fuck all. You know what I tell you, and for the last two years that’s been very little. From the first day you called me I’ve felt a false sense of guilt—as though I had to speak with you because I was all you had. Well, I’m done. You killed my father!”

“Asher, I’m paying that price.”

“Oh, please!” he interrupted. “Save me that particular speech. It’s wasted on me.” He gulped, anger still thumping hard within him, although it was now laced with so much hurt. “I begged you so many times to get rid of those boyfriends. Cried at your feet and asked you over and over. You did nothing, and yet the one time someone tried to help me, the one occasion where my father finally drew the line, you killed him. At that point you proved one thing to me.”

She whimpered. “What?”

“That your men meant more to you than your son. Never once have you addressed that. You just call expecting me to talk to you like you didn’t do anything wrong. And stupidly, I have done. I let my own guilt lead me, but now it’s churned inside me for so long that it’s seeped out and poisoned everything good in my life. Something I thought could be buried was actually out there for all to see.”

“Oh, son. I’m so very sorry. What I did was wrong. I didn’t plan it. I acted on instinct.”

Asher gave a sarcastic laugh. “And that’s why I’m now so fucked up, because when I saw what I did to my friend’s brother I understood how you could have killed my father. It was like looking in a mirror and I hated myself. Since the day you were taken away I’ve told myself I was better than you; that I’d never do what you did. But here I am with my bruised knuckles to remind me. The only difference is that I don’t blame anyone but myself. I am solely responsible. And that’s why I have to leave the woman who fucking owns me alone. She deserves so much better than someone like me.” The words were like ash on his tongue.

His mother cried down the phone, apologising more than once. Asher had reached his limit, no longer able to hide his hatred for what she’d done.

“I’m hanging up. Don’t bother calling me again. If you do I won’t accept it. I won’t be there at your parole hearing. I’m moving on.”

He ended the call, not bothering to wait for her response. Emotionally charged, he slammed the receiver on the floor, and when it didn’t smash as he’d expected, he slammed it again. And again. When the plastic casing cracked, he smashed it one more time, satisfied when it scattered across the floor. A feral cry left his lips as he grasped his hair in both hands and pulled. The pain didn’t give him the clarity he sought. The only person who’d done that had been Emma, and now he was going to have to learn how to live his life without her. Back to being alone. Bit by gentle bit she’d changed him; he hadn’t realised how much until now. She’d been patient and careful, much like she was with Gabe and the other kids at the shelter. She was good and didn’t deserve to be soiled by his dirtiness. She should have better than him.

What was he going to do now? He adored his shop, but it had been destroyed. Not physically, because all of that could be fixed. It was the soul of the place that had been corrupted. His haven was now as ruined as he was. And the voice in his head was crying out to keep Emma away from it all, even though his heart cried out for her.

“Asher? Asher, I know you’re in there. Let me in.”

Letting go of his hair, he shot a quick glance at the door. The tips of Gabe’s spiky blond hair could be seen through the glass. Not that he needed the confirmation; he recognised the voice. “Go away, Gabe.”

“No,” he shouted, rapping his knuckles against the glass. “I’ll sit out here and keep knocking if I have to. That’ll really piss you off.”

“You would.” Asher grumbled as he pushed himself up. Gabe couldn’t hear him, and he took a minute to gather himself together. He didn’t have to let him in; he’d get bored of waiting eventually. However, if he wanted to find out how Emma was doing he’d need to speak to Gabe. He’d been to the hospital.

Asher’s chest ached when he thought of her—recalled that state she’d been in when they’d smashed the window. He doubted he could ever close his eyes again without seeing her.

He wrenched the door open. “I won’t be needing you for a while. You can go back to the shelter.”

“Not a chance,” Gabe said as he pushed through the gap between Asher and the door frame. “You need someone and Priss can’t be here, so I am. Now put the kettle on. I need a brew. It’s already been a long day.”

“It’s best if you leave me alone.” He shut the door, resting his back against it. “I have too much going on up here.” He tapped his temple.

“And that’s why you need me. Otherwise you’ll shut everyone out. I get it. Being on your own while you have heavy stuff going on isn’t good. We both know that. I hate to go all female on you, but you should talk about it. Get it all out.”

Asher rolled his eyes. “Like you did, you mean?”

“Don’t you see? That’s how I know what you should do. I messed up by keeping secrets. I confided what I could to Priss though. And you should too. Ash, look at you. You’re a mess without her next to you.”

“She doesn’t need me to scar her any further.” He looked down at his swollen knuckles. “I did what I vowed never to do. I’m saving her the heartache.”

Gabe barked a laugh. “Hero, aren’t you?”

“Watch your mouth.” Asher glared at him in warning.

To his credit, Gabe stood his ground. “You’re taking away her choice. That’s not saving her. That’s being a coward. Go and see her. She doesn’t think you did anything wrong. Well, expect maybe taking it a bit too far. She knows you were protecting her.”

Asher’s shoulders sagged, his legs giving out as he slid down the door and sat on the shop floor. “I won’t risk hurting her.”

“You won’t. Remove what you did and think about the circumstances. You have to look at it a bit clearer.”

“It’s hard when I’m the one with blood on my hands.”

Gabe walked around the counter and picked up the broom. “We’ve both tried to deal with things alone. That hasn’t gone well for either of us. It’s time to make different choices, Ash. Maybe we should choose a different path this time?” He turned his back and started to sweep the glass up, leaving Asher to his thoughts.