Ignited (17 page)

After a brief searching look, Asher left the room, and I heard his footsteps on the stairs. I let the false smile fall from my face. We’d managed to get through an encounter without fighting or hurting each other. That had to mean something. I settled in to wash the dishes, wondering if it also meant something that I hadn’t told him about Gabe and yesterday’s almost-kiss.

In my mind, my inner grandmother reared her head again, and I sighed, wondering if she was right.

Three days. Three freaking long days had passed with no news from Gabe or Lottie. Lucy hid in the study, poring over Alcais’s book like it held the key to unlocking the mystery of Stonehenge, while otherwise ignoring me. She’d made a couple of snide comments in passing that warned me she was still angry with me. The waiting made things worse, and I had to stuff my own anger down when she took her frustration out on me.

Asher also tended to disappear to the room he shared with Gabe or to the family room to watch TV. We’d had a couple more run-ins that had been tense but not completely unpleasant. It got a little easier each time. Erin’s presence helped a lot. She was the same girl I had grown to like in Pacifica, sweet and caring, and I loved spending time with her.

On the fourth day with no news, I thought I might go crazy. The rain wouldn’t let up, so I couldn’t even go on the rooftop terrace or into the courtyard to get some air. I went in search of company—even Lucy’s snippiness would be better than my thoughts—and found Erin in the family room. She was pushing the coffee table against the couch and clearing a space in front of the TV.

“Hey, Erin. Whatcha doing?” I drawled. “I thought I was bored, but you’re taking it to a new level if you’re rearranging furniture.”

She laughed and flipped her ponytail. “Nah. Asher mentioned that he and Gabe have trained you to defend yourself. My plan was to corner you and promise to cook you something cheesy if you helped me learn a few things.”

“Something cheesy? I sense Asher’s influence here.” I moved to help her shift a ceramic vase out of harm’s way. Our clothes had arrived two days ago, and we both wore jeans and T-shirts.

“Whatever works. Will you do it?”

“Why not? I could use the exercise. I’m going stir-crazy.”

Plus, this would get my mind off Gabe. I couldn’t decide if I was more worried or irritated at him for not sending us some sign that he and Lottie were okay.

We set about pushing the rest of the furniture back, and I pulled my hair into a ponytail at the back of my neck. We sat on the ground to stretch our muscles.

“Remy, can I ask you something?” At my nod, she continued, “When those men found us in the woods, you never once suggested that I might have been helping them. Why didn’t you suspect me?”

“Are you confessing?” I teased her, reaching for my toes.

She shook her head. “I’m serious. Most people would have at least thought it was a possibility that I led them to you.”

Her brown eyes had widened with confusion. I sat up. “A couple of reasons, I guess. First, you didn’t have to help me find Asher. You knew it was risky and you did it anyway. That says a lot about you.”

She thought about that and nodded. “And the other reason?”

I hesitated. “It was the way your brother treated you. He hurt you, didn’t he?”

“You were there. You saw it for yourself.”

Her forehead wrinkled in confusion, and I had to hand it to her. She was almost as good at covering up for Alcais as I had been for Dean.

I shook my head. “No. I mean, he hurt you before that. And probably since.”

Erin’s face drained of color, and her gaze dropped to the floor. I’d worn that look of shame often. “You knew?” she asked.

Alcais had abused her in front of Delia and me. I had wondered what else he might have done to her when nobody was looking. Alcais had a streak of cruelty in him, and Erin had been an easy victim, since she could heal the injuries he inflicted on her. I’d never had proof of that, but something in me had recognized a likeness in her, a shared history that we didn’t like to talk about. I’d been sure when she didn’t think twice about running away with us. She’d been escaping her brother.

I shrugged. “I recognized the signs. I know what it’s like to live with somebody like that. I had a feeling that you were looking for a chance to fight back in your own way. Say, like when you helped me.”

“You stood up to him. I couldn’t do nothing.” Erin’s fingers twisted together, as she admitted, “Nobody at home knows about this. Well, maybe Delia, but he does the same thing to her.”

I crawled across the floor to sit beside her, our shoulders touching. “Erin, your brother is a psychotic douche. Please, please, tell me you know that you’re not to blame for how he treated you.”

There should be a special place in hell for people who abused Healers. Our ability to heal our injuries over time seemed to bring out the worst in sadistic people, as if they considered it a challenge. How far could they go before they broke us? Unfortunately, our abilities meant they could go far.

Erin’s mouth pressed into a thin line, and then she laughed. “I can’t believe I’m laughing. I’ve never told anyone about this. Why am I laughing?”

“You’re not,” I said softly. I reached for the box of tissues on the table and passed them to her so she could wipe the tears on her face. “Listen, you don’t ever have to go back there. We’ll figure something out.”

“That’s the problem. I will go back.” She lifted one shoulder. “I can’t leave my mom back there with what Franc is doing to our people. That’s why I want to learn how to defend myself. So I can protect her.”

The rage and determination in her voice reminded me of the girl I’d been not so long ago. I hadn’t been able to save my mom or stepmom. Maybe Erin would have a better chance, and maybe I could help her.

I rose to my feet and pulled her up. “Okay, there are some things you need to know.”

C
HAPTER
F
OURTEEN

E
rin was a fireball once we’d run through some moves. I knew from experience that the worst part of the training wasn’t the pain: it was those moments when your opponent beat you, and your own sense of helplessness threatened to swallow you whole. I didn’t have a man’s build, but it didn’t matter. The first time I pinned her to the rug she burst into tears and then shook for the next ten minutes. I suggested we start again later, but she stood up and insisted we try the move once more. I was filled with admiration for her and disgust for Alcais for hurting her.

“That’s enough for today,” I said after a couple of hours.

Erin lay on her back on the floor where I’d tossed her, and I helped her up.

“She’s hesitating when you grab her.”

I spun around to find Asher watching us from the doorway. I acknowledged his comment with a nod as I wiped sweat from my forehead with my forearm. “I know. We’re working on it.”

He hesitated and then asked, “How are your defenses doing?”

His gaze touched on Erin, and I guessed he referred to her. “I still feel the urge to attack, but it’s controllable. I kind of understand what you meant about how it got easier for you to be near me over time.”

He’d once said that the urge to attack me had lessened after a while. Then, the problem had been my body’s instinct to cure him.

Erin listened to us, her head swinging back and forth like a fan at a spectator sport. She frowned in confusion. “Wait. You feel the urge to attack me?”

“Part Protector, remember? It’s like my body senses an immortal cake, and it can’t have just one slice. Luckily, I don’t like immortal cake.”

Erin blinked. “Am I the immortal cake in that image?”

Asher grinned. “Nice analogy.” He turned to Erin. “Remy has mental walls like Protectors do. She’s learned to keep them up around Healers.”

I started moving furniture back and the others jumped in to help. “I wouldn’t hurt you, Erin. I’m careful.”

“Oh, please. If you were going to hurt me, you would have done it by now.” She collapsed on the floor, and I sat beside her. “All those questions you asked in Pacifica, you really didn’t know, did you? How our powers worked? It’s because yours are so different.”

I explained to her how my abilities differed, including the bonding and how my powers affected Protectors. She’d never heard of a Protector who had regained their senses to the extent Asher had, and her face lit with curiosity.

“So you’re more human now?” she asked Asher with narrowed eyes, studying him like a lab rat in a maze. She suddenly reached over and pinched him. “Did you feel that?”

He rubbed the red mark on his arm, his mouth twisting in amusement. “Yes. I can also taste the food that you’re about to cook us.”

Erin groaned. “Have I told you that I hate cheese? It’s so yellow.”

I smiled, so glad this girl had become my friend. “It comes in orange and white, too. I prefer the Day-Glo orange powder variety myself.”

We started up the stairs, Asher leading the way and me trailing after Erin. I missed whatever she did, but I suspected she’d kicked Asher when I heard him trip and yelp.

“Did you feel that?” she asked him.

He muttered, “You two have been hanging out too much. Remy is rubbing off on you,” and I burst out laughing.

After lunch, I headed into the library to find a book to read. Downstairs, Asher’s family had every episode of
Doctor Who
on Blu-ray and not much else in the way of movies or TV shows. I wouldn’t have minded watching it, except after three days cooped up in the house, I was already halfway through series two and onto the Tenth Doctor.

The library consisted of two walls lined with bookshelves from floor to ceiling and two cozy armchairs with footrests by a hearth. Huge windows on the fourth wall invited natural light into the room. It still rained outside, and the room might have been gloomy but for the fire that blazed in the fireplace. What the family room lacked in movies, the library made up for with books. I browsed the shelves, reading the spines. Most of the books were classics, and I had a sneaking suspicion many of them were first editions. I pulled down a copy of
The Great Gatsby
. On the inside cover, Lottie had scrawled her name in cursive along with the date of 1925. I shook my head and put the book back. I would never get over the lives the Blackwells had led. I strolled to another shelf, and there sat one book that looked older than the rest. It had a cracked leather spine and no title on the cover.

“Oh, you’re in here!” Lucy said.

I almost dropped the book and spun around to find her standing in the doorway with a teacup. She glanced at the chair by the fire where a book lay open on the table between the chairs. It was the book I’d stolen from Alcais.

“I’ll leave,” she said with a scowl and turned to do that.

“Lucy!” She paused and I tried to think of a way to get her to stay. I missed my sister, and I wanted to spend time with her before it was too late. Before we found our father, and I had to leave them. My gaze landed on the book again. “Anything interesting in there?”

I’d scanned it when we first went on the run. It had been full of inflammatory lies about Healers and Protectors. The book had been meant to incite people to rage and instill them with fear about the offspring of the union between the two groups. It had made me more than a little sick to my stomach.

Lucy shrugged. “It’s interesting.”

“What is?” It was like pulling teeth to get her to talk to me.

She sighed. “Does it matter? Look, are you going to stay in here? Because I’m happy to find another room.”

“Lucy, please,” I pleaded. I was so tired of us walking around each other.

“Please, what?” she snapped, advancing into the room. The teacup clattered when she slammed it on the table. “Did you think that everything would be okay between us because you tried to save Mom? Tried and failed, by the way.”

That hurt. My sister had a mean verbal hook when she wanted to. Along with the pain, though, anger rose in me, and I didn’t try to stem the tide.

“Tried and almost died, by the way. Would you be pleased if I had?” I asked.

Lucy’s hands landed on her hips. “No, because that would make you happy. You’re so quick to die for everyone around you, it probably would have given you a thrill.”

I stared at her in shock. “That’s what you think of me?”

She walked to the fire and threw a log on it from the pile nearby. Sparks flew up when she shoved at them with a poker. She didn’t say anything, and I stalked over to her.

“Come on, Lucy. Don’t be a coward now. You’ve been bitching at me for weeks, blaming me for everything that’s happened. Why don’t you just spit out whatever you have to say?”

She dropped the poker, stood, and shoved me with both hands on my shoulders. “You ruined everything!” she screamed, pushing me again. “Everything was fine before you came along. We were happy. And now my mom is dead and my dad is probably being tortured somewhere and I’m stuck here with you. Don’t you see? You’re poison! You destroy everything around you. I hate you!”

A switch flipped inside me the second time she pushed me. When she tried to shove me again, I calmly stepped out of her reach, cradling the book I still held against my chest. She stumbled, and I let her catch herself. I was so sick of blaming myself for everything that had happened. Dean, Franc, and yes, Asher and Lucy, they all had opinions on my powers. Save this person. Don’t save that person. Use your powers. Don’t use your powers. Dean wanted to use me for money. Franc wanted to use me as a weapon. Asher and Lucy had wanted me to only use my powers when there was no risk involved. Now, Asher wanted me to keep my powers to myself, and Lucy wanted me to throw the risk out the window when she decided the person mattered. And even then, she punished me. They all had opinions about something they couldn’t possibly understand. And suddenly, I was sick to death of feeling guilty for what I was.

Lucy was breathing hard from her outburst, and I’d never felt calmer, fueled by a cold anger. My voice sounded steady and firm when I spoke. “You’re acting like a brat. You were pissed at me when I wouldn’t heal Mom and now you’re pissed because I tried. You can’t have it both ways, Lucy. Either I’m a monster for letting her die, or I’m a martyr for trying to save her. Pick one, and have a little conviction if you’re going to punish me for it.”