Ignited (16 page)

“I’m rushing you, and I’m confusing the hell out of you. This isn’t the right time. I know that. But I heard your thoughts on that roof, Remington. You’re planning on leaving when we find your dad. I can’t let you go without giving us a try. This time I’m going after what I want.”

He bent his knees and leaned in to press his lips to my neck. His mouth kissed a damp path to my ear, and I shuddered at the steam, hotter than fire, curling under my skin. His words tickled my hair when he whispered, “This is me giving you fair warning that I’m going to chase you with everything I have, and when you decide to let me catch you, you’ll never doubt how much I love you. Even when I become a weak human and you can kick my ass six ways to Sunday.”

My eyes filled with tears. “Don’t say that. You can’t know that.” Asher had promised the same thing.

“Yes, I do. Don’t make the mistake of thinking my brother and me are alike. We’re not. I’m not going to play fair.”

He already wasn’t. His tongue touched my ear, and I lit up. He began to trace a path to my chin, and the idea of him kissing me was too much. I panicked, shoving against his shoulders until he stepped back. I stayed leaning against the wall as he retreated. When I dared to meet his eyes, he’d put on the calm, arrogant mask he always used to wear when I first met him. Except now I saw how his eyes burned like a banked fire and his chest lifted in fast breaths. How much had I missed because he didn’t want me to see it or I hadn’t dared to look?

“I can’t do this right now,” I pleaded.

Disappointment flashed across his face so quickly I thought I’d imagined it, and then the mask returned. “Okay. It’s been a long day. Your room is that way,” he said, pointing in the opposite direction. “There’s a small, private courtyard connected to it, and I thought you would appreciate being able to go outside when you liked.”

His change in gears had given me whiplash. “Thank you,” I said. I winced at how out of breath I sounded.

He nodded and turned to go.

“Gabe?” He paused in the doorway when I said his name. The more distance he put between us, the more my brain seemed to recover its higher functions. I had to stop this before it went any further. “This can’t happen. You have to know that. I don’t think I can trust somebody again after Asher.”

“Hm.”

My announcement didn’t seem to affect him, and I glared at him, irrationally irritated by his indifference. “What does that mean?” I asked.

He smiled, bracing an arm against the jamb. “You trust me more than you realize. Think about it.”

He left, and I heard him humming some song as he disappeared and started up the stairs. The second he was gone, my legs gave out and I slid down the wall until my butt hit the floor.

What in the hell was that? I’ve been ambushed.

I stared vacantly into space, trying to jump-start my senses back to normal. A normal that wasn’t filled with the scent and feel of Gabe’s skin. It was a good five minutes before it occurred to me what Gabe meant about trust. My walls had been down, and I hadn’t bothered to put them back up when Gabe walked in. He’d heard every overheated thought I’d had about him.

I’m so dead.

C
HAPTER
T
HIRTEEN

I
’m a ho.

I’m a ho. The
thought popped into my head before I’d even opened my eyes the next morning. It was the same thought I had when I tried to wear red lipstick. On other women, I found red lipstick beautiful. Daring and sexy, like Lottie wore it. My stepmom had made it look classy when she wore it on special occasions. But the second I painted it across my lips, I morphed into somebody’s judgmental, prudish grandmother with dentures and the morals of a Victorian miss. The red-lipped girl in the reflection was a hussy, and that was that. Of course, the truth was that I lacked confidence. Women who wore red lipstick looked so bold, and I . . . wasn’t. Enter Gabe and suddenly my inner grandmother was raising her head and shrieking at me like a bloody banshee.

This morning was definitely a red-lipstick morning.

I moaned and pulled the covers over my head. This wasn’t like me. I had almost kissed Asher’s brother. How could this have happened? It wasn’t right to feel . . . attracted . . . to Gabe when I’d hardly begun to accept that things were over with Asher. What kind of girl was attracted to two brothers at the same time?

A ho,
my inner grandmother accused, and I wanted to punch her in the face.

What was Gabe thinking? We had enough to deal with to find my father and keep everyone safe in the meantime. Why did he have to go and confuse everything by declaring his intention to chase after me? Whatever that meant. I shivered, thinking about yesterday and the way he’d leaned into me. If that was “chasing,” I was toast.

I clambered out of the oversized bed, tripping over the blanket that I tucked around my shoulders. In bare feet, I padded across the wood floor to the glass doors on the wall opposite the bed. I peered outside at the courtyard. About eighteen by seven feet, the small enclosed garden had ivy climbing the far brick wall and potted trees spaced here and there on a wooden deck. It wasn’t much to look at in the dead of winter with the rain pouring down on everything, but Gabe had been right: I wanted to be outside where I could clear my mind.

Stupid Gabe. He doesn’t know everything.

I turned my back on the garden and focused on the room that I’d hardly noticed yesterday. The bed had a giant, black leather-paneled headboard. Instead of a closet, the room featured a black wardrobe. On the other side of the bed, a giant TV had been mounted to the gray wall. This room had been done up in grays, black, and chrome, all modern and shiny.

The decadence blew my mind, and I decided to see what the bathroom might hold. I flipped on the bathroom light and jumped back at the reflection of myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror that comprised one entire wall.
Oh, heck no. If I can’t even bring myself to wear red lipstick, how am I going to strip down naked in front of that to shower?
I shuddered and flipped another switch, but couldn’t figure out what it did.

Then, as I brushed my teeth, I felt the floor beneath my feet begin to warm. My bare toes curled into the tiles, as I considered a world in which floors could be heated. A world that I did not belong in. This was ridiculous. I had to tell Gabe to back off. Honestly, I cared for Asher. Even if you took that out of the equation—and how could you?—I couldn’t watch another person grow to hate me when I made them human again. I wouldn’t survive another beating like that, and no matter what Gabe said, I didn’t trust him. Last night, everything had gotten complicated and messy, but the simple truth was that I had been right when I decided to leave when I found my father.

I would not risk my heart on another Blackwell.

After showering, I went hunting for Gabe only to have Erin explain that he and Lottie had gone out hours ago.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Noon. We were all getting a little worried, but Asher said to let you rest.”

I’d slept over twenty-four hours. Between the pain and Asher, I hadn’t been sleeping well lately. I guess my body had finally decided to take what it needed.

“Where did Gabe and Lottie go?” I asked.

“They said something about trying to reconnect with their friends to see what they could find out about the Morrisseys,” she said. “They might be gone for a few days. They didn’t want to chance leading anyone back here.”

Oh. I felt deflated. I’d been ready to lay down the law with Gabe, and he’d left without saying anything. I was not going to be upset about that, either, because that would be ridiculous.

Erin sat at the dining room table with seating for eight. Sometime between yesterday and this morning she had accepted this place as her temporary home. She looked completely relaxed with a bowl of cereal and a laptop cracked open in front of her.

“What are you doing?” I asked, coming around the table to peer at the screen over her shoulder.

“Ordering clothes. Gabe gave me a credit card and told me to pick some things out since we can’t leave the house and we didn’t bring anything with us.”

I scowled.
Bastard. Why did he have to be so thoughtful?

Erin misinterpreted my expression. “He had Lucy order some things for you, too. He said you didn’t like shopping, but I don’t think he’d care if you picked out a few things.”

“Thanks. I’m good with whatever Lucy picked out. She has better taste than I do.” Unless she picked out a bunch of skirts and dresses, which was possible considering how she felt toward me at the moment. I went off to the kitchen to scrounge for food.

That’s where Asher found me, standing perplexed in front of two ovens. From his expression I guessed he didn’t know that Gabe had confronted me, and I didn’t feel ready to talk about it. Asher appeared tired, and I wondered if nightmares still plagued him.

“Why do three people need two ovens?” I asked in desperation.

He grabbed a container of milk out of the fridge. “I think one is a convection oven.”

“Convect . . . You know what? I’m not even going to ask.” He took two glasses down from a cabinet and offered to pour me some milk. I nodded and ducked into the pantry. “Do you want soup? I think I can manage soup.” I reappeared with a can of tomato soup and headed in search of a pan.

Asher took the can from me and set me bodily to one side of the kitchen. “I’ll do that. You scare me in the kitchen. Do you want a grilled cheese sandwich?”

I sighed happily. “Have I told you lately that I love you?” The words landed in the room like a gas bomb, and I smacked a hand over my mouth. For a minute, we’d been like our old selves, working together as a team. Asher shot me a wry smile, as he buttered slices of bread, and I dropped my hand. There were two ways to deal with the weirdness between us: wallow or make the best of it. I chose to make the best of it. “Well, that wasn’t awkward at all.”

He stared at the ceiling. “Ah, a good night’s rest and she’s found her sarcasm bone.”

I hopped up on the counter to keep him company as he cooked us lunch. I ran a hand over the surface. “Should I be up here? This isn’t cut gold-veined marble, is it? Or some kind of other precious material that would cost more than my right arm?”

“No. It’s made from the tears of a thousand crushed dreams. Since when are you upset by nice things?”

“Since it became apparent that you’re absurdly wealthy, which is a step beyond the sickeningly wealthy I thought you were.” I used my hands to show him the levels in the air.

“Snob,” he accused as he flipped the toasting sandwiches in the frying pan.

“Am not,” I said, affronted.

“Yes, you are. You’re a reverse snob. Our money freaks you out.”

The house had sent me reeling. “True. I never had much growing up. This is beyond decadent.”

He plated both sandwiches and poured the soup into two bowls. “So why don’t you just enjoy it?”

I grabbed the glasses of milk and followed him into the dining room. “I’ll try. I have to admit a special fondness for the heated floor in my bathroom.”

Erin’s head snapped up from where she still sat at the table. “The bathroom floors heat up? Are you kidding me?” I nodded, and she ran out of the room saying, “I have to check this out.”

Asher handed me my plate with a laugh. We managed to eat a meal in companionable silence. Maybe we’d reached a turning point on the plane. He didn’t want to be with me, and I could accept that. We didn’t have to be enemies.

I pushed my plate away. “So what’s the plan? Erin said Lottie and Gabe have gone visiting old friends for a few days.”

“Yeah. They can’t just show up and start asking questions. They’re going to hang out at Spencer and Miranda’s, let it be known they’re in town, and see what they can find out.”

Spencer and Miranda were two Protector friends of the Blackwells who had once come to Blackwell Falls for a visit. Then, we’d been afraid of what they’d do if they discovered me. What about now?

I toyed with my spoon. “What about you? Why didn’t you go?” Erin and I couldn’t go for obvious reasons. Hello, Healers. And Lucy couldn’t protect herself. But these people had been Asher’s friends.

He ran a hand through his hair. “They’d know I’m different. Gabe and Lottie sensed it and so would they.”

Asher tried not to show how this upset him, but I knew him. The frustration would eat at him. He would want to be doing something, but if the Protectors sensed that he’d lost his powers, there would be questions. Questions that would lead straight to me, which meant he was stuck here with us.

“Well, this is going to be fun.” At his questioning look, I added, “You and three chicks on lockdown. Too bad there aren’t more rooms so we could get away from each other.”

I put on an exaggerated sad expression. Asher didn’t laugh, but he smiled, and that was progress. His empty plate and bowl reminded me of how he took his ability to taste everything in stride now. At first, every new flavor had delighted him. “Is it really that bad, Asher? Being human ? Is there nothing to love about it?”

I wanted to take the words back as soon as I said them. The amusement on his face disappeared and he looked trapped. His eyes flicked about the room like he sought escape. So I cleared my throat and pretended that I’d been teasing. “How can you not be willing to give up everything for a great grilled cheese sandwich?”

I didn’t fool him, but he latched on to my bad joke. “I thought you were mad for macaroni and cheese.”

I picked up our dishes to clear the table. “I’m crazy about cheese in general.” He followed me back into the kitchen with Erin’s cereal bowl. “Hey, where’s Lucy?”

“I think she’s in the study. Next room over. She had that book you took from Alcais. She mentioned wanting to read it.”

I’d stolen the volume on my last visit to his house. It had been full of fear and hatred toward Healers and Protectors who would dare to have children together.

He handed me the bowl, and I said, “You cooked, I clean. Go on. I’ve got this.” I smiled and shooed him away with a wave.