If You Still Want Me (17 page)

"Thank you," Austin calmly manages, but I can
hear how tight with emotion his voice is.

"Tori," Jerry whispers into his baby's ear.
"This here is your Uncle Saul and Uncle Austin. They're from Texas,
so maybe they can teach you how to be a cowgirl."

"You bet we can!" Saul says a little too loud,
his excitement bouncing through me. "Uh, sorry," he lowers his
voice as everyone else laughs quietly.

And simple as that, Jerry's accepted Austin into
our fold without judging our relationship. I didn't think it could
be this easy. I guess I should've had more faith in my family.

Family is family, and I don't think I've ever
felt the truth of that more than today.

I think I'm still in shock. The air in my lungs
hasn't quite caught up with how fast my heart's been beating since
Saul jumped outta the SUV. My breathing is tight, my palms are
sweaty and my eyes sting. When Jerry looks at me, I expect he'll
glare disapprovingly. Instead, he smiles.

The man just
smiles
at me and presents his baby girl to
me and Saul as if there's nothing odd at all about two men and a
woman being in a relationship. The man
welcomes
me to the family, for Christ's sake. How does
this make any kinda sense?

I was expecting drama.
Yelling. Curse words and punches thrown. A glare from her father,
or words of scripture quoted and tossed at my head. Revulsion.
Ignorance.
Hate
.

But, all I feel is
love.

It puts me so off balance, I'm not sure how I'm
still standing in my boots, or how I'm not crying from the weight
of it. As they all crowd around the baby, I take a few steps back.
When Dr. Knight comes back in, I use the chance to duck into the
hallway, mumbling something lame about not wanting to crowd the
baby.

Leaning against a bare white wall, I exhale a
big breath in an attempt to steady my heartbeat. The baby-photo
collage on the opposite wall fuzzes in and out of focus. A nurse in
pink scrubs passes by with a smile. I think I manage to smile back.
Why am I so nervous?

Because, that was too damn easy, and nothing in
my life has ever been that way.

"Austin?"

I feel a light touch on my shoulder and look
down to see Ruth watching me. "Ma'am."

"Just Ruth is fine, sugar," she smiles. "You
alright?"

"I think so. I just..." I take my hat off and
twirl it in my hands, a nervous tick I've always had. "I guess I'm
just overwhelmed."

"Not used to babies?"

"Nah, I love kids. Your family is just... I was
expecting..." I hate stuttering and fighting for words like I don't
speak English. "Well, I'm not all that sure what I was expecting,
but certainly not an open, warm welcome."

"Oh, sugar," she frowns with compassion in her
pretty amber eyes and her hand gently patting my shoulder. "Now, I
won't say I understand it, or even that I fully agree with it, but
what's right for me isn't necessarily right for other folk. It's
how Daddy raised us kids. All that matters to us is Victoria - that
she's safe and happy."

"I want her to be happy, and
Saul, too. That's the most important thing to me. I love them both,
so much. They're... They're
my
family."

"Well, now, so are we," she grins up at me then
gets serious again. "I'll warn you that Tabitha won't like it, and
she won't hold back on her opinion about it, either."

"She'll get over it," Joseph's voice joins us
from the doorway. "Oh, she'll make a big, dramatic scene, I'm sure,
but that's all. She knows Daddy won't put up with a divide being
wedged into the family, and Daddy always takes the side of
love."

"Speaking of," Ruth turns her smile to her
brother. "When do we get to meet Alex?"

Joseph's grin turns sheepish. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?!" Ruth squeals.

"Shh!" Joseph grimaces. "I aint told Pops,
yet."

"Told me, what?"

We all turn to look at Mr. Harris' raised,
frosted eyebrow as Joseph stammers to explain. "Well, Pops, see...
Alex thought he'd come to New Orleans on his way back from Houston,
then we could drive back to school together, and... he'll kinda be
here... tomorrow..."

The corner of Mr. Harris' mouth ticks upwards.
"Then he's coming to dinner tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, sir!" Joseph nods. "I mean, if it's no
trouble?"

"Of course not, son." Then Mr. Harris looks at
me a long moment. "Can you cook?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good," he smiles. "Because it's going to be a
full house tomorrow night and Tabi usually handles the big
dinners."

I smile back, because I can see this for what it
is. It's not just him asking if I can help with dinner. He's
inviting me in, expecting me to help because that's what family
does. I almost let the emotion overwhelm me again but manage to
clear my throat and reply.

"I'd be more than happy to help. Saul and I can
probably rustle up something. Do y'all like Tex-Mex?"

"Oh, praise Jesus!" Ruth looks up to the ceiling
with a raised hand.

Joseph laughs so hard he nearly doubles over
before taking in a breath to explain. "We like Creole food, but we
all grew up on Tex-Mex. Not a decent Tex-Mex restaurant around here
and none of us can really cook it, so we've been craving authentic
Tex-Mex something fierce since mom passed."

"Did someone say Tex-Mex?" Saul's tall figure
joins the crowd in the hallway then stares at me.

"You and me are in charge of dinner
tomorrow."

"Awesome! Call yer sister and get her chicken
enchilada recipe. And, speakin' 'a food, when did you last
eat."

Uh, damn.
"That half a
McGriddle, but-"

"Dangit, cowboy!" He narrows his eyes at me as
his hands go to his hips. "Well, at least if yer sugar tanks and
ya' pass out, we're in a hospital."

A few Spanish words slip past my lips as I eye
the ceiling, but I know he's right. "Alright, darlin', I'll find a
vending machine."

I freeze. I just called
Saul
darlin'
in front of everyone
and... I blink. They don't seem the least bit phased by it. What
the heck?

People like this actually
exist?
Families
like this exist? It
tilts my world a bit more, a dizzy spell coming on.

"You a diabetic, son?" Mr.
Harris asks, and that last word makes me weak.
Son.
The true, fatherly concern is in his eyes as I
nod and wonder how I'm not on my knees.

I run one sweaty palm down the thigh of my
jeans. "Dietary only, sir. No insulin."

"Yet," Saul grumbles. "You keep missin' meals
an' you'll be on them shots." He turns to Mr. Harris with matching
concern. "He gets these dizzy spells, Reverend, and-"

"Saul," I sigh. The whole world doesn't need to
know my medical history, even though I know he's only trying to
help.

"What?" He bats his long eyelashes innocently,
knowing full well what it does to me. "It's better they know."

I glance down to Mr. Harris,
and I have to agree. They deserve to know everything about me. God,
how do I tell them about being incarcerated? I'm sure that's just
the type of person
Reverend
Harris
wants hanging around his daughter, or that new baby girl in
there.

"Why not take my princess and Saul out to
lunch?" Mr. Harris verbally prods when my brain stalls on the
horrific image of me trying to explain to these wonderful people
why I was in jail.

"Sounds like a plan," Saul says cheerily. He's
pulled Victoria into the hallway now and loops his arm around my
elbow. "We should talk, the three 'a us, anyhow."

"Agreed," Victoria nods solemnly then glances to
her father.

I can tell she's in shock at the acceptance,
too. Saul's just grinning like he knew all along it wouldn't be a
problem with her family. I wish I could have his confidence when it
came to things like this. Instead, I'm waiting for the other shoe
to drop - the shoe where I say I'm an ex-convict and Mr. Harris
gives me the boot.

Mr. Harris keeps on smiling, like this is all
normal. "My house aint that big, so why don't you three stay at one
of the way-over houses? I think Blue Bayou's empty right now."

My head cocks to the side, and I try to add
something to the conversation so I can shake away this fear that's
got a sharp grip on my heart. "Way-over house?"

Joseph jumps in. "Pops and a few other community
leaders use them to help encourage families to come back to live.
Families can stay in them for a few months while their house is
being fixed or rebuilt."

"My Joey helped design and fix up a few of
them," Mr. Harris says proudly. "They's simple houses, but
functional. Helps people get themselves sorted."

"Sounds like what we need," Saul snorts. "Ta'
get ourselves sorted."

"Right after we get Austin something to eat,"
Victoria smirks at me slyly.

Laughing helps combat the
demons. "
Ai
, not you
too."

"Yes, me too," she swats my arm before looking
back at her dad, ghosts of uncertainty floating back into her
expression. "Want us to drive you home?"

"That's okay, princess. I think I'd like to stay
with Jerry and that beautiful baby a bit longer."

"Alright," she kisses his cheek after a
hesitation I can tell he noticed, but he doesn't say another
word.

I'm a bit worried that there's unspoken truths
that need to be aired between them; that her dad is trying to be
okay with all this even though he's not. I'm sure me being a
complete stranger who suddenly has a complicated relationship with
his daughter isn't helping. When I glance back to Saul, he takes my
hand and gives a quick nod. He can see it, too.

Saul's right though - we still need to get
ourselves sorted. Then maybe we can sort out the rest.

Ruth's warning about Tabitha follows me to
lunch, eating at my stomach as I try to eat my blackened catfish.
Joseph's seated next to me, rattling on to Saul and Victoria about
this Blue Bayou house he's going to show us after lunch, and how
excited he is that Alex is coming tomorrow. I'd known Victoria's
brother was gay, but learning their father had accepted it with an
open heart had me hopeful that things between us and her family
wouldn't explode.

The last thing I want is to put a hole in
Victoria's family. Her dad is trying to understand, but I can't
expect him to trust me the same way he trusts Saul. It's something
I've got to earn. I have a feeling that the storm named Tabitha
that's brewing on the horizon might give me a chance. If I can just
hold everyone together, then maybe we can all get through it as a
family.

Family
. If we survive
this, the three of us, I've still got to face the music at home. My
sister Annabelle knows I'm in love with Saul, but she only thinks
of Victoria as competition for her older brother's
happiness.

And Nana?
Ai
. How do you tell an eighty-six-year-old
woman who practically raised you that you're involved in a
threesome without giving her a heart attack?

"Austin?" Saul prods me under the table with his
foot. "You gonna eat the fish or just continue skewerin' the poor
thing?"

"Sorry," I glance up from my thoughts to find
all eyes on me. "Long day, is all."

Saul gives me that bratty grin of his that
unravels me every time. "Maybe we should'a gotten more sleep last
night, cowboy."

"Saul," I warn as I fight off the blush flooding
my cheeks.

"Not that I expect it ta' be any different
tonight," he continues.

"Mercy," Victoria rolls her eyes as Joesph
chuckles.

But he just keeps grinning. "Should be three
times the fun, I'd wager."

Joseph reaches for his wallet. "Twenty bucks
says- Ow!"

"Joseph Francis!" Victoria scoffs.

"Francis?" I can't help but laugh, and Joseph
joins me as he rubs his bruised shin.

"You know, like the saint."

"Yeah," Victoria replies sarcastically. "Daddy
obviously named you right."

Saul giggles. "Don't feel bad,
Joey. Austin's middle name is- Ow!" The table thumps upwards,
jostling the plates as I give Saul a harder-than-intended nudge. He
retaliates by batting those damn eyelashes at me again before
cooing "
Wilfredo
."

"Ouch," Joseph winces as Victoria snorts behind
a hand that's trying to conceal her laughter.

"Was my Granpapi's name," I argue, but I'm
laughing, too. It's an awful name.

"Shoot," Joseph exhales the last of his laughter
while wiping his eye. "Alex has both us beat, brother. His middle
name is Ferdinand."

Brother
. I try not to
choke on my fish but end up coughing into my water glass.
How I wish...
"Ferdinand?"

"Like that storybook?" Saul giggles more. "The
bull who smells all them flowers?"

"Suits him, too," Joey nods.

"Ferdinand, Frances and Wilfredo," Victoria
shakes her head. "Sounds like a recipe for trouble."

"Funny you should say that,"
Saul smirks across the table at me. "Since trouble's
my
middle name."

And don't I know it.

We stop by the good Reverend's house ta' grab
Victoria's stuff and the keys for this way-over house. I'm jumpin'
outta my skin a bit with anticipation, but I'm doin' my best not
ta' show it. Joey heads for his car to lead us there, but I hate
him havin' ta' escort us alone, an' I'm not ready to be alone with
Vickie right yet, so I hop into the passenger seat 'a Joey's car
'fore anyone can say anything about it.