If I Never Knew You (If I Never Knew You Series) (11 page)

I made a list of things to do in terms of bills, household repairs, and purchases. I usually didn't make lists, but once I discussed the state of affairs regarding the house with Barbara, I realized there were so many things to do, as Madison's dad had neglected basic maintenance for so long. Barbara had gotten behind on the bills due to her sister, Cheryl's, illness. Not to mention Madison was barely home, so everything was pretty much falling to pieces.

As for Andy-being sixteen, driving to see friends, discovering girls and becoming more active at school meant that he had very little time now. However, I really couldn't tell him what I wanted to. After that note, he visited Madison a lot at the restaurant and he told me all about the visits. I was glad to know that he was at least happier then. As I finished the list, Andy walked in the door.

"Hey," I said, looking up.

"Hey," Andy replied.

"You alright?" I asked. Andy just nodded. "No, you're not."

"Okay, I got in trouble at school." He turned so I could see his whole face. He had a black eye. I jumped up and went over to him.

"What the hell did you do, bro?" I asked.

"I hit some guy, then he hit me back and next thing I know-we're fighting," Andy reported.

"Why did you hit him?"

"Because," Andy said, "he was talking shit about Madison."

"Ah, so how much trouble did you get into?"

"I'm suspended for a week and after that I have detention for a week and a half."

"Must have been a pretty good fight."

"He got the worst of it." Andy smiled, then shook his head and frowned slightly. "Are you gonna tell my mom or Madison?"

"How?" I asked. I hadn't seen Barbara since last evening-she wasn't due home until the next day-and I hadn't seen Madison for a while, either. When she came home from work, I would often be out at Knightsbridge Tavern, because her Uncle Jack had signed us on for a regular gig. In the mornings, she would usually leave for work before me.

"Good point," Andy said.

Because it was my evening off and Andy said he was too tired to go to Warren's to work on another project, we decided to just stay at his house and play video games. When Andy got up to use the bathroom, he noticed a note lying on the table in the foyer. It was another note from Madison, this time asking Andy to meet her at the restaurant at lunchtime the following day. She wrote that she had something important to discuss with him.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I can't tell you-I don't know yet," Andy said.

He was quiet the rest of the evening-even when he was doing homework. Usually he would ask for help, but I don't think he was really focused on it. He went to bed early and I walked around the house. I stood in front of Madison's room for a moment, wondering why she couldn't tell me what she was going to reveal to Andy and feeling hurt that she did not trust me enough to share her news, whatever it may be. Then I went down the stairs and left the house, making sure all of the lights were off first.

"Madison!" I turned around after putting drinks down on a table, only to get attacked with a hug by my brother.

"Andy, sit down and I'll get to you as soon as possible, okay?"

"Yeah," Andy said. He went to his regular table and I went into the back to tell Jen that Andy was here. She started preparing his favorite lunch while I went back up front with Andy's drink and told the hostess not to put any more people into my section for a while. It took me a little under an hour to finish with my other customers. By then, Andy was finished eating so we went out the back door and stood in the alley behind the restaurant. I told Andy I was pregnant and he just looked at me in puzzlement.

"Are you sure?" Andy asked. I stared at him for a second and I slowly nodded. "Oh, Madison!" He hugged me again. "Does he know?"

"No," I said quickly.

I knew he was thinking about Damian, while I was talking about Orion. My brother stepped back and looked at me. "Who's the dad?"

"I'm thinking Orion. The doctor said it was two months and two months ago I was with Orion."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I really don't know." I looked down, rubbing my arms. "I need to speak to Mom when she gets back and I also want to speak to Orion about it, but I haven't decided how I'm going to handle Damian."

Just then, I noticed Andy's black eye. I guess I had been too busy to notice in the restaurant.

"What on earth happened to you?" I queried.

"I got into a fight with some guy who was saying shit about your reputation when you were in school and I got suspended for a week," Andy admitted sheepishly.

"I knew you didn't like people talking bad about me, but to beat up some guy? That explains the black eye then, huh?" I was secretly very proud of Andy for defending my character, even if it meant getting into big trouble at school. But I have to admit that most of the rumors had truth in them. Often I made poor choices and the gossip followed, especially in my senior year. Now, however, I had a much more serious issue to make a decision about.

That evening, when I came home, I told Mom about the baby. Being a gentle soul, she merely shrugged her shoulders and bravely offered to look after the baby while I worked at the restaurant. I don't even think she seemed surprised. I guess when life has gotten you down for so long, nothing can seem too bad. She told me that Orion should be informed and she expressed her desire that Orion and I marry. However calloused she was, she was a traditional, old-fashioned-kind-of-Mom at heart. I understood her wish, but I told her that Damian and I had to settle things first and that Orion might not even
want
to marry me, after everything that happened.

Jen made me take things easy for the rest of the week. She even popped in on her days off during my afternoon shift to make sure. I didn't know if I was happy about it, or if it annoyed me.

I USUALLY ENJOYED the end of April and the beginning of May, but this year it didn't seem as beautiful as usual. I was still feeling pretty bad most days, I had not dealt with Damian-I never was good dealing with people in a serious way-and Orion was constantly on my mind. So, I did what I always did when I felt pressured-I tried to escape from reality. I thought it would be nice to visit Andy at school one day after my boss suggested I take a day off to relax. Andy's suspension was over so he would be there. If I was right, he would be on his spare period. A few of his other friends had a spare period at that time, too. They usually sat outside on the bleachers by the football field.

Sure enough, when I got around the building and looked, they were on the bleachers playing cards. I smiled and climbed up the side of the bleachers so as not to give myself away. None of the boys noticed me, so when I came up behind Andy and jabbed him in the sides, they all jumped and he spun around, ready to throw a punch, but stopped quickly and threw his arms around me in a hug.

"Madison!" he said, along with a few of the boys. They all knew me from various times they had come to the restaurant, or from when I had come to meet Andy at school.

"Hey guys," I said.

"What are you doing here?" Andy asked. He let go of me. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine." I said, telling him with my eyes that this wasn't the time to talk about anything, like my pregnancy.

He nodded and I joined the guys in a card game before their classes switched. Andy told me that the principal was gone for the rest of the day, so I smiled before and went to the office to get a visitor's pass. I walked around the school, peeking in on classes and talking to the teachers I liked who weren't teaching. I joined the boys in the cafeteria at lunch time and then walked around some more in the afternoon. I even wound up peeking in on my old music teacher, Ms. Maitland. She made me stay the rest of the last period and help her with the class.

"So, how do you get home every day?" I asked, standing outside of the school with my brother at the end of the day.

"That way," Andy said, pointing down the street. I looked down and saw Orion in his car zooming up the road. I bit my lip.

"Are you going to go back to his place?" Andy asked me.

"He won't be home until at least six or seven and he thinks I'm working today," I said. Andy's eyes went wide for a moment and he nodded.

"So you wanna come home for a bit, then?" he asked. I chewed on my lip, and looked at the car as it stopped in front of us. I didn't know what to do. Andy glared at me, waiting for a decision. I guess he normally drove home, because Orion got out of the car to let him drive. I don't think expected that it was me standing next to my brother, but he sure look surprised when he saw me there.

"Madison," Orion said, finally. I couldn't figure out how he was feeling by the sound of his voice and that made me frown. He looked at Andy. "So, what's going on?"

"Not sure yet," Andy said. "I think Madison's having an internal battle."

I glared at him and punched him hard in the arm.

"Ow, that actually hurt!" Andy complained.

"And you thought it wouldn't?" I asked, smiling devilishly. I took a deep breath and looked at Orion. "Would it be alright if I came too?"

"Sure, fine by me," Orion replied. A smile appeared on his face for a second, but it quickly went back to neutral.

I really had to talk to him. I looked in my purse at the folded up pieces of paper in there. I had to give those to him as well and that was something I didn't think I could just drop off at the house.

"You can sit in the front," Andy said, proud that he could show me his new driving skills.

"Don't be trying anything now, Mister," I warned.

"Me? No-never," Andy said, innocently. I laughed at him and he got into the driver's seat. I got into the front and Orion went to the back seat.

"So any special stops we want to make on the way then?" Andy asked. We shook our heads. Neither Orion nor I spoke while Andy drove away from the school. "Alright then, let's go straight home."

It seemed like old times, almost. As soon as we got to the house, Andy went to his room, saying that he was going to do some homework, leaving me and Orion alone. We sat in silence for a few moments before Orion said something about dinner and went downstairs to the kitchen. I flipped through the TV to see if there was anything good on before I went into the kitchen to help Orion. Orion was sautéing some ground beef. I watched him add macaroni and sauce and put a lid over the food he was cooking. Then he turned to me while I was busy making a tossed green salad.

"I'm sorry, Orion," I said, staring into the salad bowl.

"I saw you," Orion said.

I tilted my head. "What?"

"That night at the club. What did you think of our songs?"

"I wanted to cry. Hell, I did cry," I laughed a little, "I saw you cry, too."

"Oh, I wasn't crying," Orion said.

"Oh, you so were!" I said, teasing him. "God, how can we do this?"

Orion checked on the food. He spent a few minutes stirring and adjusting the seasoning before he answered, "Do what?"

"Be this way," I said. "After what I said to you..."

"You didn't say anything," Orion said. "But you did a lot. You have been avoiding me for a long time. I don't know why you would rather be with that asshole, Damian, than with me."

"I know that!" I said, snapping. "God, I know that well. I don't need someone else pointing it out to me. I'm a crappy person, okay? I spend more time at work than I do with my brother, who obviously thinks I've begun to abandon him like our father." I was crying now. "And I let my stupid, messed up boyfriend pick on him. And I spend more time around someone I hate than I do making sure that my mom is okay, when she watching my aunt die with cancer. And...and..." I couldn't go on. It was just too painful. Andy had to have heard me, too-I was screaming. I did the only thing I could-I sank to the cold ceramic floor of the kitchen and leaned against the cupboards behind me.

He did nothing. Orion just stood there, watching me cry my eyes out. He was badly hurt by my recent behavior and his indifference was his way of getting back at me.