If I Loved You (Harper Falls Book 1) (22 page)

“She wanted money?” Jack was holding it
together, but not by much.

“No, at the time she was just offering me
her
sincere congratulations
. And she
wanted to let me know that she had married again and that he was a
very
wealthy man. I was in shock. I
couldn’t move. Hearing her voice brought it all back again. My mind
shut down just like the other day.”

"Was there anyone there to help you?" Jack
hated the thought of Rose going through that alone.

Rose shook her head. "I was living in New
York and my roommate had gone away for the weekend. Thank goodness.
Tanya was never very good in a crisis. I crawled into bed and
didn't budge for two days. After that, I was more prepared. It
wasn't often that she called. When she did it was either to
complain about how awful her soon to be ex-husband was treating her
or how she had nabbed the perfect man, perfect meaning rich. I
would change my number, but she always managed to get the new one.
When I moved back to Harper Falls, I made sure she had the number
of a land line I had installed just for her. For whatever reason,
she was satisfied with that. She would leave the occasional
message, and I would erase it.”

Rose rolled her neck. Almost done. “She’s
never tried to see me. I don’t know what changed. Her coming to see
you makes me wonder what other nasty surprises she has up her
sleeve.”

Unable to stand it another moment Jack
pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair. “Jesus,
Rose,” he breathed, taking in her scent. “Jesus.”

Rose just held on. Feeling the slight tremor
vibrate through him she tightened her arms and let him start to
process everything she had told him. It was a lot to take in,
especially all at once.

“The other day was a fluke, Jack.” Rose
hated that she’d let Louise get to her. She was stronger than that;
she’d made herself stronger. “She can’t hurt me, she holds no power
unless I give it to her.”

“I wish I had taken Drew up on his
offer.”

Had she missed something? “What offer?”

“The other day when Louise showed up at our
office he said, if necessary, he’d help me bury the body. If I’d l
known then what I know now, I would have happily strangled the
psychotic bitch.”

“I’m glad you didn’t know. She’s not worth
it.”

Jack leaned back just enough to smooth her
hair from her face. He gently kissed her, then pulled her firmly
into his arms. He couldn’t let her go, not yet. He couldn’t get the
picture she'd painted of her frail body in a hospital bed out of
his head. How close had she been to not making it, how much longer
could she have lasted being dragged from town to town? Being
drugged and tormented.

“How can you be so calm? So together?”

“Time, therapy and amazing friends.”
Sometimes she wondered how much good the therapy had done. She
still had issues, big ones. But talking about her mother and Louise
had made things easier to cope with.

“I know it was a long winded explanation,
but I hope you understand a little better what happened the other
day. Though it was a bit extreme."

“After what you just told me? I’d say you
handled it pretty damn well.” Slipping his arms under her legs,
Jack stood and carried her up the stairs. “We’re going to take a
hot bath, jets set on high. And then have something to eat.”

Jack was relieved when Rose didn’t argue. He
was feeling pretty shaky, and he needed her to let him take care of
her tonight. He dimmed the bathroom lights and started filling the
tub. As the steam began to fill the room and swirl around them, he
gently removed her clothes before lifting her and settling her into
the hot water. He quickly shed his clothing and joined her,
positioning her between his outstretched legs. He pulled her back
against his chest and wrapped strong, protective arms around her
waist.

Before long Jack felt himself begin to
relax. Rose was safe, no harm could touch her; he wouldn’t let it.
Hearing her deep, steady breathing, he realized that she had fallen
asleep. Dinner could wait. Right now Rose needed rest more than she
needed food. And he needed…well, all he needed was Rose.

“I'M TELLING YOU, it won’t work, Jack.”

They’d been having the same argument all
morning. Or, Rose had been arguing. Jack smiled indulgently or
patted her hand like he was placating a ten-year-old. Or he kissed
her. As frustrating as it was, that was her favorite.

Rose had awoken after ten solid hours of
sleep, wrapped in Jack’s arms. It had been an emotional evening and
they had both crashed like the dead. Snuggling closer, Rose looked
at Jack’s sleeping face, relaxed and rested, and realized she felt
the same. She felt lighter, almost buoyant. If she never told that
story again she would be happy, but telling Jack had been
freeing.

Now she had to free Jack. Unfortunately, he
wasn’t cooperating.

“Nothing that happened to you was your fault
and it certainly shouldn’t stop you from living your life to the
fullest.”

How to explain? “I know it seems that this
is about what happened to me that summer, but it isn’t.” The look
Jack gave her told her he wasn't buying it. “Really.” The man was
impossible. “You know there’s a big difference between charming and
bullheaded.”

“I can’t be both?”

Oh, boy,” Rose thought, could he ever. But
that didn’t make him any less frustrating.

“One more time,” she sighed. “Are you
listening?”

“Always,” Jack smiled. There was the
charm.

“This is about me. I know myself, Jack. I
don’t do relationships.”

The fact was; she’d had sex with Jack more
times than with any other man. Probably because the others hadn’t
been worth a repeat performance. What she did know was, if she
could have seen a future with anyone, it would have been with Jack.
But she wasn’t going to tell him that. He didn't need any more
encouragement.

“I don’t recall asking you for a
relationship. In fact, I haven’t asked you for anything but a
chance to get to know you better.” Jack shook his head as if
baffled by the conversation.

“I’m descended from all kinds of crazy,
Jack. There's my mother and Louise. And don't forget a father who
had no problem leaving me to be brought up by the poster child for
antidepressants. My family tree should be ripped out by the roots
and the ground salted.” Why wasn’t he running for the hills?

“I know what’s bothering you?” Jack smiled
as if he had a secret.

Okay, she’d play along. “What’s that?”

“You think that eventually I’m going to ask
you to marry me.”

That
was her
problem? She thought about it for a moment. Maybe he was right, and
it was a problem. A big one.

“I’ll never marry you, Jack.”

“You would.” Jack watched Rose with
amusement. He could tell she was struggling not to knock him upside
the head.

“No.
Never
.”
Now,
there
was the stubborn.

“You
would
,”
he qualified, “if you loved me.”

“I’m not going to fall in love with you,
Jack.”

“I’m not saying you will.” Jack’s clear,
blue eyes stared at her, unwavering. “I what I said was,
if
you loved me you would marry
me.”

Rose didn’t know why, but this seemed like a
trap. She ran his words over in her mind, but finally gave up.

“Fine. But since the first isn’t going to
happen, neither is the second.”

“As long as we’re in agreement.”

Had they agreed? Technically she supposed
they had but to be honest Rose was still trying to figure out what
exactly it was that they'd agreed
on
. Jack had driven her to pick up her car then
followed her into town. They never had gotten around to dinner the
night before and they were both starving.
Pansy’s Diner
was packed with the usual morning
crowd, so they had to wait a few minutes for an empty table.

“Well, I’ll be. I wonder what Harry Eisner
is doing in Harper Falls.” Jack waved at a man seated at the
counter. “Do you mind if I leave you for a minute, Rose? I want to
say hello to an old friend.”

“Go ahead. I'll grab a table if one opens up
and you can join me there.”

Jack gave her a quick kiss before heading
across the room.

“Well, isn’t that cozy.”

Rose sighed. She would recognize the dulcet
tones of Jilly Underwood anywhere. Apparently Jack’s kiss had not
gone unnoticed. And if Rose was correct, Jilly was a bit annoyed.
Now, wasn’t that too bad?

“Hello, Jilly. Beautiful morning isn’t
it.?”

Jilly glared at her, glanced over at Jack,
and then glared again.

“I
hate
you.”

Rose watched as the woman slammed out of the
diner, almost taking out another woman who had been entering.

“Are you okay?” Rose asked. “Lila.” She
smiled when she recognized the owner of
Peony.
She had called in several orders but hadn’t
been back to the shop since the night Lila had come to her
rescue.

“I’m fine.” Her dark auburn hair was piled
up in a messy bun. The style was like Lila, casual and sexy. She
was wearing a loose, long-sleeved blouse that matched the soft
green of her eyes. “Who was the sour puss?”

“An old nemesis who thinks Jack Winston
could do a lot better—with her.”

“Do you know Jack?” Lila let out a delighted
laugh. “He’s the reason I chose to open my shop in Harper
Falls.”

Rose remembered Jack mentioning that in
passing.

“Jack told me that he knew you but not any
details. I think he's friends with your brother, is that
right.”

“I kind of knew him when we were kids back
in Oregon. He and my brother would hang out and I was the annoying
little sister.” Lila grinned at someone over Rose’s shoulder. “Hey,
Jack. I’m glad to see you picked the right woman.”

“Lila,” Jack greeted her with genuine
affection. “Did I pick you?” he asked Rose. “I thought you picked
me.”

“That doesn’t sound right.” Rose gave him a
wide-eyed look. “But you should know if it hadn’t been for me you
could at this very moment be having breakfast with most annoyingly
vapid woman on the planet. You can thank me later.”

“And you can explain later.” He slipped his
arm around her waist. Lila thought it looked completely
natural—nice. Like he’d been doing it for years. If she ever heard
from her wandering brother she’d have to let him know that it
looked like Jack Winston had finally met his match.

“I see there’s a table opening up. Will you
join us?”

“No, thanks, Jack. I just stopped in to grab
some coffee and a muffin. Thanks to Rose, I have more orders to
fill than I can handle, which is why, I’m happy to say, I hired
some full-time help.” She gave Jack and Rose each a quick hug. “I
left Tammy alone, so I need to grab my order and get back. See you
soon.”

“I like her.” Rose took her seat in the
booth expecting Jack to sit opposite her. Instead he sat on the
same side, making her slide over. Rose gave him a disgruntled look
which he chose to ignore.

“I’m glad Lila is making some friends. How
did the two of you meet?”

Rose imagined that most people who met Jack
thought he was easy going and accommodating, but she knew better.
For all his charm and smiles, Jack seemed always to get his own
way. It was like being sneaky quick. You thought you had the upper
hand, but before you knew it he had smoothly gotten what he wanted.
With an exasperated shake of her head, Rose filled Jack in on the
night she met Lila.

ROSE SPENT THE rest of the day in her
studio.

She had finished several songs for
Wishes
. But the big climactic love
song was giving her trouble. She knew why. Love songs, like love,
weren’t her thing. She wrote about sex, heartache, and betrayal.
But love? You could write about what you didn’t know, but more
often than not it didn’t ring true.

A series of notes had been swirling around
her brain for days. Picking up her guitar, Rose strummed the
strings, hoping to chase down the elusively faint melody. After the
better part of an hour, and no results that didn’t sound like a
commercial for a feminine hygiene product, she growled in
frustration and put away the instrument. There was a wall she
couldn’t break through, and right now she didn’t have any idea how
to do it. In a few days she would try again. Find a way to come at
it from a different angle.

There were plenty of other things to keep
her busy. Like the dreaded paperwork. It was something that
eventually had to get done. What better time than when her creative
juices seemed to have dried up. Sam Laughton might not like her
putting
Wishes
on the back burner,
but her accountant would be ecstatic.

An hour later, receipts and expenses duly
recorded, Rose felt she’d earned a break. And her stomach agreed.
Peanut butter and jelly sounded good. But did she have any jelly?
Or bread? Or peanut butter? Her practically empty cupboards
screamed the answer. No! Not even a stale cracker. And since for
once she didn’t feel like having yogurt, it was grocery shopping or
the diner. She looked around for her phone. Maybe she could get
Dani or Tyler to meet her at Cable’s Market. It was always more fun
to shop when she had her friends with her.

Wait a minute.
The
phone
. Rose suddenly had one of those slap yourself in
the forehead moments. Why hadn't she thought of it before?

Forgetting about her stomach, Rose marched
across the house to the little room where she stored things that
she might need someday but, for now, she wanted to keep out of
sight. Sort of the equivalent of a junk drawer. But before she
could enter the room the doorbell rang.