If I Could Be With You (10 page)

He nuzzled his head against her belly and let his hands massage her ass. “Because you smell like sex and the caveman in me wants you to wear my mark around all day long.” He pushed her back against the pillow and kissed her hard.

She let him kiss her for a good full minute before she acquiesced.

“Oh my God, fine. I’ll throw on a cap, but you better hope we don’t see anyone we know.”

His face fell and she backtracked.

“Because I’ll look like crap, Charles – not because we’ll be together. I promise, I’m all in this time. There’s nothing holding me back.

“Let’s get going then.” He flashed her a boyish smile and threw back the covers to reveal a huge morning hard on. “Nothing you have to do anything about,” he teased. “I’m actually more turned on at the thought of bacon right now.”

“Asshole,” she said, laughing as she left the room to get ready.

CHAPTER fifteen

The hostess at the Bacon Shack informed them that there would be about a thirty minute wait for a table considering it was Black Friday and the early morning shoppers were all looking for a place to rest their feet and refuel for more afternoon festivities. Hannah had totally forgotten there would be crowds everywhere and she seriously regretted allowing Charles to talk her into the baseball cap.

“What if I run into students?” She whined.

“Hannah! You teach third grade. It’s not like they’ll take one look at you and think you’ve come from a night of debauchery. They’ll think you look tired, or they won’t notice at all.”

“Their parents will,” she huffed.

“I don’t think you should be worried about your students or their parents.” He sat on an open window ledge that served as a waiting place and pulled her by the hand to sit on his lap. “If anything, I’d be more worried about your sister and her family, as they’re eating right over there against the wall.”

Hannah looked to her right and gave a horrified gasp as she spotted Lilly, Joe and the kids at a large table towards the back of the restaurant. “Shit, have they seen us yet?” she asked while hiding her face in his chest.

“They have now,” he laughed. “Come on, Hannah. They’re family and it’s Black Friday. It looks like they’re just ordering, and there’s space at their table.”

She looked at his face full of obnoxious excitement at the prospect of joining her family and smacked his chest.

“You planned this, didn’t you?”

“No, I promise,” he said as he pinned her wrists together with one hand and kissed the tip of her nose. “But part of me wishes I had. It’s worth it to see you turn this particular shade of red.”

When she looked back she could see the shocked look on her sister’s face and Joe vigorously waving for them to join the party.

“Let’s go, sunshine,” he said to her. “Time to make us official.”

As she walked towards the table where her sister and brother-in-law sat with their three children it reminded her of the walk of shame out of the dorms when she’d stay over with guys in college. She was certain that everyone around her was staring and wondering what that beautiful, young, Charles McMillan was doing with old Ms. Miller from the school. She imagined their looks of censure and glares of judgment.

“Happy Black Friday!” Charlie called out to everyone as he shook hands with Joe and gave a quick hug to Lilly. “Getting lots of toys and presents today, kids?”

Lilly made the introductions, “Everyone, this is Charlie. You remember Leisel and Chuck from last night? This is their son who lives in New York. I guess he’s home for Thanksgiving,” she added, sounding seriously peeved.

“Why weren’t you at the house last night, then?” Delia the oldest of the three asked.

“I was there for a second, I just didn’t get to talk to anyone but your daddy,” Charlie answered.

The icy glare Lilly gave Joe at that revelation was enough to turn the kid’s lemonades into slushies. Hannah could tell that Joe hadn’t shared that bit of info with his wife. That’s why he had been so encouraging and said he thought she and Charlie belonged together. He’d known what was happening all along.

“I think,” Joe said loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear, “Charlie is more than Leisel and Chuck’s son, kids. This is Aunt Hannah’s new boyfriend.”

“Ooooh,” teased Thomas, the middle boy of the family. “Hannie’s got a boyfriend. Hannie’s got a boyfriend.”

At that, she saw Lilly rise from her seat and place her napkin on the table. “I need to get something I left in the car. Hannah, would you come with me?”

“I don’t think…” she tried her best to stay at the table.

“Now, Hannah. I really need your help.”

She felt a hand take hers and squeeze hard. “We’ll be right here waiting. It’s cool.”

He gave her a wink and she let out the breath she’d been holding. Of course it was cool. She was an adult and she was in love. She was a normal woman having a Black Friday breakfast with her boyfriend who ran into family. Sure, it was all new and a little awkward, but there was nothing wrong about anything happening between them. She thought back to the sign he had held in her yard the night before.

“He’s divorced,” she said to Lilly as soon as they walked out the front glass door.

An incredulous look passed over her features, followed by confusion, and then something unexpected – a smile.

“What?” she almost screamed. “Since when? How did that happen? Why does Joe know what’s happening and I don’t?” She crossed her arms and leaned back against her car.

Hannah shrugged her shoulders “We really should have grabbed our coats.”

“Talk fast then, and make it good,” her sister added.

She almost didn’t know where to begin but she started with the first note the night of the disastrous date with the dog owner. “I didn’t know who it was from, but it was the most beautiful heartfelt poem I’d ever read. I couldn’t believe it was about me.”

“He wrote you poetry,” Lilly sighed.

“I wanted so badly to believe it could be from him, but there was no stamp or return address. I assumed it had to be from someone in town, and then last night in the car, I found another note in my pocket with my phone. It was a riddle saying there were two romantic words waiting for me at home.”

“That son of a bitch,” Lilly said with a smile. “Joe knew all along. He put the note in your coat. That’s why no one saw Charlie last night.”

She shook her head, “And when I got home he was there in my yard, holding a sign that said, ‘I’m divorced’.”

“Oh my God, I’m going to die from the sweetness of it all.”

“Lilly, do you think it’s OK? Do you think I’m doing the right thing? He’s younger and he’s half a country away…”

“New York isn’t half a country from Ohio, Han. Stop being so melodramatic. In my mind the only obstacle you two faced was the fact that he was married, and despite what you told me, I just didn’t think he was serious enough or mature enough to do what needed to be done to really be with you. But, he did! He’s sitting in there at the table with your family, letting himself be called your boyfriend, and you have obviously spent one hell of a night together. You could have at least showered,” she teased.

Back at the table, Charlie glanced her way to make sure things had gone all right.  She nodded and sat down. What followed ended up being the most normal and fun family breakfast she’d experienced in ages, maybe ever. The kids loved her new boyfriend and Lilly and Joe showed their support through conversation and laughter. When they rose to give their table to the waiting masses, Hannah felt better than she had years. Things were finally falling into place.

Outside the Bacon Shack, Charlie pulled her into his arms for a kiss that shouldn’t have happened in public.

“Wow,” she said under her breath. It was all she could manage to say in the moment.

“Should we talk?” he asked.

“I almost hate to say yes. After that kiss talking is the furthest thing from my mind.”

“True,” he agreed, “but we can’t get to anymore of the good stuff until we get things squared away. I’m not here just to sleep with you, play boyfriend, and head back to New York, Hannah. We’re talking life changes here, no small moves.”

The words scared her, but the feelings that accompanied them didn’t. She knew he was right. When you found love like what they shared, you needed to take risks. He’d taken a huge one on her by leaving Nadia. While his marriage may have been one of convenience, it worked for him. He’d been comfortable.

“You’re not talking about leaving New York, are you?”

“It wouldn’t be my first choice, no. I have a really good job that I can only see myself moving up in, and if I’m honest, I love the city almost as much as I love you. Almost,” he said. “Do you want me to leave New York?”

“No. No, I love the city, too and my teaching certificate is transferrable. I can teach anywhere I go with a little paperwork and a few fees.”

He opened the car door and waited for her to get in before closing it behind her and walking to the driver’s side. After turning the key in the ignition and adjusting the volume on the radio he asked, “So you’re serious then? You could see yourself in New York with me?”

“I am.”

He drove in silence, but the smile on his face told her everything she needed to know. “So, that’s it then? I’m moving to New York and we’re living together?”

“What? No!”

His sudden anger surprised her.

“Why would you ever think I wanted to just live with you? I’m talking the whole deal, Hannah, marriage, kids, and the works. I would never insult you by bringing you to a whole other state, with a brand new job and friends, without marrying you.”

She felt like an elephant suddenly sat on her chest. It was what she wanted, right? It was what she’d waited and waited for Jess to offer, but now that it was being put out there for real she was shaking and sweating profusely.

“Are you OK, Hannah? I know we only talked briefly about this, but I thought it was what you wanted. I know you struggle with feeling like you deserve it, but you do, and I want to give it to you. I want to give you my life and make it ours.”

She closed here eyes and took three deep breaths.

“I’m OK,” she said. “Just a lot to take in all at once. Yes, you’re right. It is what I’ve wanted, and I did have huge issues with Jess and the fact that he kept putting me off over and over again, but now I think that was because he knew he wasn’t the right person for me. I just couldn’t bring myself to see it.”

“That sounds like you’re giving the bastard a lot of credit. You told me he didn’t physically abuse you, but the way he treated you didn’t sound good.”

“I let him, though.”

“Bullshit, Hannah. We’re starting this relationship out with one hundred percent honesty. None of how he treated you was your fault. You were in a relationship. You had every right to expect respect and forward movement. You were his loss, not the other way around.”

She reached for his hand, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You’re right. I know I deserve respect and forward motion as you put it. That’s why I left you in New York in June.”

“Really?” he asked.

She thought she heard hurt in his voice, but what did he expect? He’d been married to someone else. She definitely deserved more than that. “ I knew that the feelings I had for you deserved a real chance and they’d never get that if I just accepted the fact that you were with Nadia and let you think everything was OK, but I had no idea what you were going to do, so when I came home and I started looking for what I deserved instead.”

“What does that mean? Looking for what you deserved.”

He pulled into the driveway and she pulled her feet up under her, took off her seatbelt and faced him. “Exactly what it sounds like. I knew I deserved a husband and a family so I started looking for him. I joined an online dating site and went on easily 25 to 30 first dates.”

The muscle in his jaw began to pulse. He had obviously not expected this confession.

“So you mean to tell me that while I was having horrific, agonizing conversations with one of the best friends I’ve ever had, while I was trying to save her self-esteem and our friendship in a way that would allow me to pursue the future I’ve wanted with you since I was 10 years old, you were dating thirty different men? What the hell, Hannah?”

She couldn’t suppress the giggle. She tried, but the more she tried the more she laughed, and the more she laughed the angrier he seemed to be getting. That made her laugh harder.

“This isn’t funny,” he said, but she could see the corner of his mouth start to twitch. He sighed. “How many of them did you kiss?”

“All of them,” she squealed. She couldn’t help it. He deserved to be messed with.

“What?” he asked, the smile gone again.

She took a few really deep breaths and tried to calm herself down, but the giggles kept coming whenever she looked at his face, which had turned a deep shade of purple.

“OK, OK…hahaha. No, really. Charles, listen to me.” She reached out and rubbed his shoulder. They were all first dates. I didn’t go on any seconds, and I only kissed 5 or 6 of them. I promise.”

He looked at her with slight suspicion.

“You went out on thirty first dates and no one asked you on a second?”

“I didn’t say that,” she said. “I had quite a few offers that I turned down because I couldn’t get a certain man from New York out of my head.”

“Really? You really didn’t sleep with any of them?”

She raised her shoulders and gave him her most serious look, “ I said I didn’t even kiss more than five or six. I am not a slut, Charles.”

He instantly looked apologetic.

“Let’s go inside,” he said.

“Let’s.”