If I Break THE COMPLETE SERIES Bundle (99 page)

I take time to get a close up of his body, a body that I’ve known in so many ways. I trace my hands over his chest, then to his stomach, and when my eyes reach his lips I kiss him again and again, first patiently then frantically. He tastes so good. I’ve forgotten how soft his lips are, how good his hands feel on my body. This body belongs to him. How could I have forgotten something I’ve dreamed about so often.

He grips my waist tightly, pulling me on top of him. His hands go to my jeans, unzipping them. When they slip inside to knead the swell of my butt, I release a soft moan. Everything’s happening so fast but so slowly. I lie back on the bed as he removes my remaining clothes. I thank God I have on good underwear. It’s nothing fancy but they’re brand new. He stops for a moment and looks down at my body. Now, nothing covering it except a white cotton thong. His eyes devour me. My breath catches when he gets off the bed. If he stops now I’ll die. Everything will shut down. But he’s not stopping. He removes his own pants and underwear and I feel every muscle in me contract as I look at him. He’s perfect. His thighs thick and muscular and the one thing that I missed, that I know like the back of my hand, is standing at attention. He lies down on top of me, kissing every part of me. It’s sweet torture. His lips kiss my collar bone, then my neck, then trail down my stomach as his fingers slip beneath the simple white thong and removes it. He takes in my body with his eyes again. I’ve never been so turned on from someone just looking at me this way. He lifts my right leg and begins kissing it, making his way up my thigh. I’m going to die if he’s not in me soon.

My breathing is short and I can’t control it. I’m so turned on that as soon as his lips touch me there I feel myself beginning to come undone. I pull his hair between my fingers grabbing it as his tongue slides into me. I cry out. His free hand moves to my breast and it’s not long before I feel myself shattering. I pull away and he looks up at me, smiling but confused.

“I need you inside me,” It takes every ounce of energy for me to barely whisper that, and just like that, he is. I feel like the part of me that’s been gone is back.

I feel complete.

Last night was everything.

It was the beginning and an end. I felt as if I gave a piece of myself away but was given so much in return.

Chris. I can’t even describe him. I thought he’d be timid and nervous but it was like he already had a road map of my body, he just took a different route. The way we felt connected was amazing. And everything I needed after two years of loneliness, emptiness and despair was returned to me. I stretch out in bed and realize Chris isn’t in the bed. I wonder if he went out to get breakfast. I go and peep into his room but he’s not there either. I grab my phone and see that I have two missed calls. They’re both from Lisa. I think of the message she left for Chris yesterday. I call it and she picks up on the second ring.

“Hey, Lauren. Is Chris with you?” she asks nervously.

“No, I think he went to run an errand or something. Is everything okay?” I ask, concerned by the tone of her voice.

“It is but I really need to talk to him. Can you let him know it’s really important to call me back,” she pleads.

“Okay. As soon as he comes back I’ll make sure he calls you,” I promise her.

“How are you doing?” she asks lightly and I can’t help but feel a great big smile spread across my face.

“I’m fantastic,” I laugh, seeing myself blush in the mirror.

“You sound fantastic,” she chuckles.

“I’ve got to go. My break’s almost over but don’t forget Lauren, please.”

“I won’t,” I say hanging up. It’s 11 am. I’ve slept straight through breakfast. I call room service, order two breakfast plates and turn on the television. I feel absolutely refreshed. I lie back down and call Mrs. Scott to check on Caylen. She confirms she’s doing fine. I admit I feel giddy knowing our family is going to be complete again. Chris has finally come around.

Everything is as it should be.

Room service arrives twenty minutes later. I wait a few minutes for Chris but I’m starving so I start to eat without him. I finish breakfast and he’s still not here. I grab my phone and shoot him a text asking where he is adding a smiley face. I decide to hop in the shower while I’m waiting. I wish he were here to get in with me. After my shower, I check my phone and see that he still hasn’t responded. I call him and it goes straight to voice mail. At this point I’m a little annoyed. Why he would decide to run errands or whatever he’s doing instead of being here with me after what happened last night?

3:00 pm.
I’ve called him four times and his phone keeps going straight to voicemail. I’ve called the concierge to see if he left a message for me.

Nothing.

I go down to the lobby and even check the fitness center. He’s nowhere to be found. I start to look around the room, tearing it apart to see if he left a note that I might have misplaced telling me where he’s gone.

4:30pm
.
I’m freaking out. I want to call the Scotts but I don’t want to worry them if this is nothing. There’s a reasonable explanation for this. There has to be. A chill shoots through me and I scold myself for thinking he went back to Jenna. I’m in panic mode by 6:00. I can’t even sit still, my heart’s about to beat out of my chest.

I’m out of my mind with worry. I’m three minutes away from calling the police and lying about how long he’s been gone when I get a text alert on my phone. It’s his notification. I almost trip over the bed to get it. I pick it up and see it’s only one word.

What.

What?
Is he kidding? I feel my blood starting to boil. I’m going to kill him. Is he for real? I start to text all of my thoughts with a lot of expletives and then realize that would be stupid. I call his number and he picks up on the second ring.

“Hey,” he says shortly.

“Hi…” I say just as short.

“Where are you? Why haven’t you been answering all day? I was completely freaking out,” I say frantically.

“Penthouse, Suite A. See you soon,” he says and the call goes dead. I feel my breathing accelerate, my heart beating rapidly. All my anger has melted away, replaced by a sudden chill.

I go down to the lobby and see if there’s a key to the penthouse suite left for me.

There is.

I walk back to the elevator, my thoughts in a haze. With each floor that the elevator climbs, my heart drops further into my stomach. When it stops and the elevator door opens, I have to will my legs to move.

How the fuck did I end up here? I’ve spent the last two years imagining what this would be like. Now I’m terrified of it. My heart’s beating like a drum. I’m confused and angry. A sense of guilt is creeping over me. I thought I’d grown, that he couldn’t make me feel like this anymore. Now I feel like I’ve been transported back through time and it’s all a game again. I’m at the beginning of a match that I haven’t expected or trained for. “I can do this,” I mutter to myself. Now, if only I believed it.

I take a deep breath before I open the door. I’m just waiting for my brain to confirm what it already knows. My eyes stay on the floor a few seconds.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared. That won’t make this much fun.” His words vibrate through me. I can’t ignore the goose bumps popping up on my skin. I look up and see him dressed in a black fitted t-shirt, dark wash jeans, a gleaming Rolex on his wrist and his arms folded across his chest. The only thing missing is that cocky-ass grin on his face. Instead, there’s an angry scowl.

“Hey gorgeous. You happy to see me?”

I’d like to thank God for without him I wouldn’t be here and blessed to do the very thing I love. Each and every reader who picked up
If I Break
and gave it a chance. There are so many other books out there that you could have chosen and you chose mine. To every blogger and every reader who has taken the time to write a review or recommend the book to someone else, thank you. I am so appreciative of the emails and Facebook postings I get. It’s still surreal that so many of you love these characters as much as I do. Thanks to every beta who’s read for me.

A special thanks to two people specifically. Lashawnda G. You were with me from the very beginning and went from being a super good beta to someone I consider a very close friend. Without that woman I never would have had the courage to share this with the world in the best way possible. I’d also like to thank Brittany H. You have no idea how appreciative I am of what you’ve done for this story and
Before I Break
. You are a sweetheart and a great writer!

If you’d like to reach me personally, feel free to email me at
[email protected]
. I love hearing from readers and I do respond.

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The final chapter of the If I Break Series
Beautifully Broken
is out now on all platforms.