I Wish... (6 page)

It amused me to watch them realize one by one that someone new was sitting among them. It played out the same way every time. A kid would be talking to a friend and a side long glance would become a double take and they'd promptly stop talking, which would then cause the person they were talking with to look around for the cause of the silence. Within thirty seconds the entire table was silent and watchful.

"Guys, this is Thistle Madison. She's new to school."

A guy with an unruly mop of brown hair and three days’ worth of stubble ignored me and asked Evan. "Madison... As in Georgina?"

What was it with high school age guys knowing who my grandmothers were? "She's my great grandmother."

He looked impressed. "Nobody was sure if you guys were ever coming back to town."

"A lot of people were hoping that you wouldn't bother coming back." A voice said from over my shoulder. The speaker was a tall, willowy girl with fine ash blond hair cut into layers and hazel eyes. She wore a blazer over a lacy top. She looked put-together in a way I'd never managed myself.

"And so now you've met Lydia. She's a people person. I'm James Middleton, by the way. I'm sure you were dying to know so I thought I'd go ahead and put an end to your suspense." Messy appearance aside, he had a lovely smile and he was charismatic in a way that had you laughing along with him even as you were shocked with the things that came out of his mouth.

Evan rested his arm along the back of my chair and leaned close as he introduced everyone. "Ok, so now you know James and my sister, Lydia. You wouldn't guess it by listening to them, but they are actually dating each other." Lydia rolled her eyes when James gave her a loud showy kiss on the side of her neck.

"The other couple is Mitch Saunders and Natalie Fletcher. They've been together since we were all toddlers, I think." Mitch was a baby faced boy with sandy hair. Natalie looked like the last person I'd ever expect to date a guy like Mitch. Where he was quiet and understated, she was flashy. Her hair was dyed black and she wore hair extensions that were black and neon green and reached her waist. Her clothes were equally eye catching. Her breasts strained over the top of her tight corset which topped a floor length gauzy black skirt. She was gorgeous, but she stood out like a peacock among sparrows.

"Over there is Natalie's older sister Olivia." She nodded. Although she wasn't as exotic looking as her sister, she too had fascinating hair. It was black with a cool maroon color threaded through the strands. She wore the chin length cut fanned out with the long bangs swept attractively to one side which drew attention to her wide set blue eyes. Her outfit was similar to what I was wearing myself and I felt better about my clothes choice.

 Evan pointed to a pretty girl with dark hair and eyes. "That's Mattie Carter. She's related to your cousins through their dad." I could see a resemblance between her and Jack except her shoulder length hair was straight instead of curly.

"And the pretty boy we saved for last is Zane Littlebury."

"Screw you, Spence." Zane said good naturedly. Despite his protests, he
was
awfully pretty. Longish brown hair, thick dark eye brows, and piercing blue eyes all arranged on a face that wouldn't have been out of place in a boy band.

"When did you guys get back to town? You’d think the gossip would have made the rounds by now." Zane asked me.

"Actually, we got here yesterday."

"And you're already in school? That sucks for you." Natalie said.

"Sucks for us too." Lydia muttered.

"Claws in, Kitty." Olivia said, frowning.

Lydia sighed and rolled her eyes in what I was beginning to think was her defining attribute. "I don't even know why she's sitting with us. Are we taking in strays now?"

"She's hardly a stray, dear." James did sarcasm exceedingly well. I was impressed despite the uncomfortable situation.

"Well, maybe the rest of you can welcome her with open arms, but it's not in my best interests to do that. I'm sure that Mattie can appreciate where I'm coming from."

Mattie shrugged. "I think maybe your mother has made you paranoid. I don't see any reason to start a rivalry with someone I've just met because someday it might be a problem for me."

"Sometimes I wish it wasn't just an accident of genetics that we are all thrown together and expected to be friends." Lydia snapped.

I could feel the blush creep up my neck until I was positive I looked like I had the world's worst sunburn. I couldn't believe how nonchalant everyone was being about such a casual use of the worst profanity I knew. Although I'd gone through some rebellious periods where I would mutter curse words under my breath, I knew better than to ever say "I wish". Ramona didn't usually spank me, but those words were so bad and forbidden that few times I'd ever dared said them she actually cut a switch from a tree and beat me until I bled from the thin cuts. I kind of hoped that a teacher had overheard Lydia's cursing because surely she'd be expelled and I would have liked to see her gone.

Not even batting an eyelash, Olivia said, "Believe me when I say that we all feel the same way about you most of the time."

Lydia opened her mouth like she might be about to launch into a real diatribe. I grabbed my tray and stood up before she could get started. "It was great to meet you guys. I look forward to getting to know you better." I shot Lydia a look from the corner of my eye and clarified, "Most of you."

As I walked I heard James snort laughter and Lydia's high pitched voice started ranting about something, but I was too far away to hear what.

"Thistle, wait!" It was Evan.

"Sorry, I thought you'd want to hang out with your friends."

"I'm so sorry it got ugly. I should have known Lydia would react that way. She feels threatened easily."

I didn't know what to say. It wasn't his fault that his friends didn't take a shine to me immediately.

"Did you forget I'm supposed to escort you around today? I was ordered to do so, even. Do you really want to get me in trouble?" He pretended to pout and his full lower lip distracted me for a moment.

If I hadn't been so preoccupied by thoughts of his lips and concern about what it might mean to my social life if Lydia hated me I wouldn't have walked into the woman standing in front of me. She turned to look at me and the slightly annoyed expression turned into a snarl. It was the woman from the diner.

"You'd better start watching where you're going, Miss Madison." She turned on her heel and stalked out of the cafeteria.

"Do you know who that lady is?" I asked Evan.

"That's Coach Carter. She teaches a couple of math classes and coaches. She's pretty hard, but everyone likes her. I've never seen her so pissed before. You must have really nailed her when you ran into her."

"You want to hear something weird? She was at the diner yesterday when I went there to check it out and we didn't talk or anything, but she was looking at me like that then too."

"I'd lay low for a while. She can hold a grudge. Ask anyone who's been on her list during practice. She'll smoke you and not even feel bad about it."

Avoiding coach Carter sounded like a very good idea to me.

Evan walked me to my next class and promised that he'd be waiting for me afterwards. I was one of the first people in the room so I chose a seat in the back of the room. I sincerely hoped that I could avoid attracting too much attention. I pulled out the battered sketchbook that I carried everywhere with me and began to sketch my shoe.

My attempt to look occupied must not have worked as well as I hoped because a low male voice belonging to the occupant of the seat next to me said, "Hey."

I looked up and into the eyes of Ben. He was sitting between me and the bank of windows and the early afternoon sunlight danced over his hair. I was happy to see a familiar face. "Hey, you!"

His voice was cold when he replied, "I thought you were just passing through. I mean that
is
what you told me, isn't it?"

My face flushed. "I thought we were. I thought we were just stopping here long enough to help get my great grandmother back on her feet and then we'd be moving on. I didn't expect them to tell me that I'd be starting a new school less than 24 hours after we arrived in town."

"So you have family here." His voice was flat.

"Yeah, I didn't even know I had family other than my mom and my grandmother until yesterday." I couldn't seem to stop chewing on my pen cap.

Ben turned toward the window and I thought the conversation must be over, but then he spun around and said, "What is your name? Your REAL name."

"Jane Madison. But I really prefer to be called Thistle. Nettlebottom is pretty stupid, but I don't mind Thistle too much."
Oh shut up, shut up, shut up.

He looked impatient with my babble. "Ok, Jane, Thistle, whatever. It doesn't even matter."

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. "Why would I go out of my way to tell you my life story? I didn't even know you. And every time someone in this town finds out who my family is they act like you are right now. I like you, Ben, and I liked the way you talked to me like I was a person and not some freak show, homeschooled, granddaughter of a famous writer. Of course, after the way people have treated me since I got to Desire, that's actually preferable."

Betrayal and sympathy fought for position on his face. Finally he said, "If I knew who you really were I wouldn't have talked to you yesterday. It changes everything. People like me don't hang out with people like you. You should go sit with your new friends. Trust me, you have way more in common with them than you'll ever have with me."

I followed his dismissive hand gesture and saw that Mitch and Natalie had taken seats near the front of the class and were waving at me. I thought maybe I'd stay where I was and try to make up with Ben, but he'd turned back towards the windows and was doing his level best to ignore me.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry I didn't tell you who I was. But I think you're wrong. I think we could have been friends." I grabbed my things and took a seat near Natalie and Mitch. I risked a quick glance at Ben. I couldn't read the expression on his face, but he didn't look happy. Well, that made two of us then. He glared out the window and I tried my best to concentrate on the teacher's lecture. It was one of the longest hours of my life.

Evan offered to drive me home after school, but I declined. He'd been super sweet and attentive all day and promised to show me where the classes were that I'd missed. Part of me would have loved his company, but I was still feeling stung over Ben's rejection. The truth was that I wanted to wallow in self-pity.

I could see where my blame lay. I should have told him who I was and why I was in town. But I was perplexed by his reaction. He really seemed different than everyone else in Desire. When we talked I thought I felt a real connection forming between us. It might be too much to hope that he felt the same level of physical attraction for me that I felt for him, but I wasn't wrong about the easy conversation between us. It couldn't have been anything I did that made everyone in town act so strange when they found out who I was, I was practically still a baby when we left town. It had to be something to do with my family.

I was still musing about what awful crimes my family might have committed when I arrived back at the house. I let myself inside and went straight to my new room. A girl was laying on the other bed flipping through a magazine. She had honey blond hair and a cute pixie face. She looked up when I entered and smiled.

"Jane?"

"Can you call me Thistle, please?"

"No problem." She sat up. "We've got sooo much catching up to do. I skipped cheerleading practice to meet you!"

Her warmth was so unexpected and welcome after everything I'd been through. I fought against the tingles in my nose that told me tears were on the way.

Krista didn't seem to notice. "I think it's really cool that we're the same age. I know I have a sister and everything, but Darcy has always been so stuck up about being older than me. Like four years makes her so much more sophisticated than me."

"You should have woke me up this morning. It would have been nice to have a friend today at school. Some of those girls were pretty awful."

Her bright smile faded a little. "I don't think we'll be seeing much of each other at school. I hang out with a different crowd."

I started to protest, but then I realized that she must be embarrassed to be seen hanging around with me in public. "Oh, I see."

She perked up again. "I'm surprised that only some of the girls were awful. With that crowd it's a constant power struggle. Everyone is always fighting to be the queen bee."

"How do you know who I was talking about?"

"I saw you with Evan in the halls. If he's taken you under his wing then I have a pretty good idea of who you met today."

Despite the offer to be secret friends outside of school, I would have loved to continue talking with Krista. She was the most transparent girl I'd ever met. There was no guessing what was going on in her mind because she was honest to the point of being blunt. Unfortunately, Ramona called up the stairs to me that Shep was here for a training session.

"Training?" Krista asked.

"Yeah, Shep runs me through some hand to hand stuff most days. I thought we were taking a break while we were here, but I guess not." I threw on some yoga pants and a ratty shirt I didn't mind getting grass stained.

"Do you mind if I watch?" She bounced up and down a little.

"If you want. It's not nearly as exciting as you'd think though. Mostly me getting my butt kicked."

"Sounds entertaining to me." She winked.

As we went to meet Shep, I wondered how someone as likable and sweet as Krista could be related to, well really anyone in the family.

I couldn't believe how glad I was to see Shep. It had only been a day, but it occurred to me that over the years he'd barely taken any time off to himself. Even when we went on vacations, he came with us. That was some favor. I gave him a quick hug. He looked a little surprised, but recovered quickly.