I Want to Hold Your Hand (18 page)

“Wait! You’re actually
seeing
Nolan now?”

“I figured you would’ve heard that already, as well connected as you are in my family.”

“I hadn’t heard a word! I took it as a good sign that he was there with you the night Homer died, but I hadn’t heard there was more to it than that. I’m so happy for you. He seems like a really great guy.”

“He is . . .”

“But?”

Sighing, she said, “I worry I’m going to hurt him if it turns out I’m really not ready for a new relationship.”

“Take it slow. Baby steps.”

“That was the plan.”

“Was?”

Megan stopped at their table. “Do you want anything else?”

Startled by her sudden appearance, the two women shook their heads.

She slapped the check on the table and started to walk away, but didn’t get far before she whirled around to zero in on Cameron. “I don’t know what makes you so special, but there are a lot of people in this town who care about him, and we won’t appreciate it if you hurt him by leaving whenever you get tired of slumming in Vermont.”

Aghast, Cameron stared at Megan. “You don’t need to worry about him.” She spoke in a low, calm tone, but the flush that appeared on her cheeks indicated she wasn’t as calm as she appeared. “I’ll take good care of him. And I’m sorry you feel that Vermont equates to
slumming
, but I think it’s quite beautiful, and I plan to be very,
very
happy here for a very long time.”

Clearly infuriated by Cameron’s gentle dressing down, Megan turned and stormed off.

“That was freaking amazing,” Hannah said, awestruck. “How did you come up with that so fast? I would’ve thought of that two hours from now and been pissed with myself for not thinking of it in the moment.”

“I’ve given some consideration to what I might say to her when she finally confronted me. I was ready for her.”

“I’d say so! I’m impressed. I can’t believe Hunter actually
likes
her. What’s wrong with him?”

“He must see something in her the rest of us don’t.”

“I need to have a conversation with him.”

“I want to go back to the conversation we were having before we were rudely interrupted by what’s her name. You said taking it slow
was
the plan. What did that mean?”

“He kissed me, and I kissed him back. And I liked it. A lot.”

Cameron’s smile stretched widely across her face. “What’s wrong with that?”

“I said I was ready to press Play. I didn’t say I was ready for Fast Forward.”

“Want to know what I think?”

The slightly calculating look on Cameron’s face made Hannah nervous. “Um, I guess so . . .”

Laughing, Cameron said, “You pressed Play a while ago. Probably during the tough winter, and once you take that first step forward, it’s tough to hit Rewind and go back.”

“Isn’t that what I’d be doing by reading Caleb’s journals? Especially now?”

“Maybe for a short time, but the train has left the station, Hannah. You’re moving forward whether you consciously want to or not. Life has this unbelievably maddening habit of going on even when we think it absolutely shouldn’t.”

“That’s very true. For a long time after Caleb died, I wondered how it was possible that people around me were able to laugh or sing or listen to music or fall in love or enjoy
anything
that required emotions I no longer possessed.”

“They were still there. They were just put away for a while until you were ready to feel them again.”

Hannah had to admit that what Cameron said made a lot of sense.

“How do you feel about Nolan?”

“I feel good about Nolan,” she said with a smile. “I feel extremely good about Nolan.”

“That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time.”

“How can you say that with all the good stuff that’s going on in your life recently?”

“Because no one deserves to feel good about something or someone more than you do. From all accounts, your courage has been amazing.”

“These accounts you speak of are overblown.”

“Whatever you say. I believe them, not you.”

Hannah saw Will come into the diner and press a finger to his lips, asking her not to tell Cameron he was coming.

He swooped in and kissed Cameron’s neck, drawing a squeal of surprise from her.

Hannah had never seen her brother so playful or animated around a woman.

“Where did you come from?” Cameron asked.

He bumped into her to get her to move over and let him in. The second he was seated, he put his arm around her. “Across the street at the office where you now supposedly work.”

“I’m on a break. Hunter never said anything about punching a time clock.”

“Very funny, but did you forget our plans to go shopping for a car to replace that toy of yours with something more Vermont-appropriate?”

Cameron withdrew her cell phone and powered it up to check the time. “Wow, I had no idea it was so late. Hannah and I were very busy.”

“Sure, you were.” He dropped his gaze to the page with Caleb’s photo. “Oh wow. Look at that.”

“You haven’t seen it?” Hannah asked her brother.

He shook his head as he continued to study the logo.

“I wanted you to see it first in case it wasn’t what you wanted,” Cameron said to Hannah.

“What do you think of it, Will?” Hannah asked.

“I love it, although that picture isn’t really him to me.”

Hannah smiled at him. “I said the same thing.”

“The military photo sets the right tone for the retreat,” Will said. “That’s for sure.”

“I haven’t spoken to Caleb’s family about this yet,” Hannah said. “What do you think they’ll say about it?”

“If I had to guess, I’d say they’ll be honored on his behalf and proud of you for keeping his memory alive in such a meaningful way.”

Will’s gruffly spoken words brought tears to the eyes of both women.

Cameron fanned her face to keep the tears at bay. “Beautifully said.” She leaned her head on his shoulder as he pulled her in closer.

Hannah nodded, unable to find the words to convey to her brother how much it meant to her to receive such a heartfelt endorsement.

Will picked up their check. “Let me get this for two of my best girls.” He kissed Cameron’s forehead before he got up to walk over to where Megan waited with a big, welcoming smile for him.

“Ugh.” Cameron twisted around in her seat. “Look at her. Pouring on the charm.”

“You need to tell him what she said to you.”

Cameron shrugged off the suggestion. “What does it matter? She’s no threat to me. If he were interested in her, he would’ve been with her years ago, right?”

“True.”

Cameron reached across the table for Hannah’s hand. “If you need a friend with you when you read Caleb’s journals, call me. I’ll come running.”

Hannah squeezed Cameron’s hand. “Thank you for everything. I can totally see why my brother is crazy in love with you. I think I might be, too.”

“She’s all mine, Hannah,” Will said. “Back off.”

“Now, children, don’t fight,” Cameron said as they gathered their belongings and left the diner. “There’s plenty of me to go around.”

CHAPTER 13

We’re engaged! I’m so excited I can’t even breathe! That’s why he’s been acting so strange. He was nervous about the proposal. He asked me when we were on the porch swing at his grandmother’s house. It was perfect because he knows I love that house as much as he does! We’re going to get married right after graduation. Our life is going to be the most incredible adventure. I can’t wait!

—From the diary of Hannah Abbott, age twenty-two

A
s she followed Will and Cameron, Hannah saw Megan glare at the hand sitting possessively on Cameron’s lower back as Will guided her through the door. If it was true that Hunter had feelings for Megan, he faced an uphill battle in getting her to redirect her affections.

Outside, Will and Cameron had stopped short at the sight of Fred, the town moose, ambling toward Cameron’s bright red Mini Cooper, which was parked in front of the diner.

“I swear to God, if he so much as looks at my car, I’m going to have him made into a very large purse,” Cameron muttered under her breath.

“Don’t speak that way about Fred,” Will said in mock horror.

“I thought it was bulls who had a thing for the color red,” Cameron said.

“Apparently moose do, too,” Hannah said, trying desperately not to laugh as Fred came closer and closer to Cameron’s tiny car.

“Do you think he’s still mad about me crashing into him?” Cameron asked, sounding nervous now.

“He’s never been known to be particularly vindictive,” Will said, “but you did hit him awfully hard.”

Cameron took a step back, and Will’s hands on her shoulders kept her from tripping over his size-thirteen boot. “Make him stop!”

“Right,” Will said, laughing. “As if anyone tells Fred what to do.”

“My insurance company will never cover a second mooseastrophy,” Cameron said. “I was lucky they covered the first one.”

Hannah stepped forward. “Hi, Fred.”

The moose’s large milk-chocolate eyes shifted from Cameron’s car to the hand Hannah held out to him.

“You don’t want to hurt Cameron’s car, now do you? She didn’t mean to hit you.” As she spoke to the huge animal, she noticed a crowd had formed on the sidewalk in front of the diner and across the street on the porch at the store. “Why don’t you head on home now? Okay?”

Fred seemed to think it over for a minute before he let out a big moo that launched Cameron right off her feet into Will’s arms. Fred pawed the ground with a giant hoof and then started slowly down Elm Street on his way out of town.

“Oh my God,” Cameron said. “You’re a moose whisperer!”

“Seriously, Han,” Will said. “That was awesome. I had no idea you and Fred were so close.”

“Neither did I,” Hannah said as her heart rate slowed to a more normal beat after the rush of adrenaline that came with facing off with Fred.

Will nudged Cameron toward her car. “Let’s get your car to the dealer for a trade-in before Fred changes his mind and comes back.”

“I’m getting a different color this time.” Cameron handed him the keys. “You’d better drive. My hands are still shaking.”

Hannah watched them drive off, waving as they went by.

“That was totally hot,” a deep male voice said against her ear.

She spun around and found Nolan standing behind her. “Where’d you come from?”

 • • • 

After a nearly sleepless night following the confrontation with his father, Nolan had arrived at the garage feeling out of sorts and cranky. Because he’d fallen behind yesterday, he got right to work on two oil changes, a tire rotation and a brake job. It was all routine stuff, so he could do it without thinking. Unfortunately, that gave him far too much time to obsess about how the sweet pleasure of his evening with Hannah had given way to ugliness with his father.

Skeeter came stumbling in around ten, looking as sleep deprived as Nolan felt and holding two large cups of coffee. He handed one of them to Nolan who accepted it with a grateful nod.

Through bloodshot eyes, Skeeter took a closer look at Nolan. “What’s a matter with you?”

“Nothing. What’s a matter with you?”

“Not a darned thing,” Skeeter said with a cat-that-swallowed-the-canary smile full of pure male satisfaction.

Nolan couldn’t bear to think about what had him so satisfied. Ever since Skeeter had started seeing Dude, or whatever it was you’d call what the two of them were doing together, he’d walked around with a sleepy, dopey look on his face and had the need to share details that made Nolan want to find the highest cliff to jump from.

“Heard Vernon was poking around town yesterday.”

Nolan’s shoulders stiffened at the mention of his father’s name.

“You see any sign of him?”

He took a drink of coffee and said a silent prayer of thanks to the god of caffeine, who was going to get him through what promised to be an endless day. “Maybe.”

“Aw, fuck, Nolan. What’d he want?”

“What does he always want?”

“Did you give it to him?”

“I gave him what I had on me, which wasn’t much.”

“One of these times, you need to say no.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know, boy,” Skeeter said with a deep sigh. “You never want to talk about it.”

Because he couldn’t deny that, he did what he always did when things became too much for him—he worked like a demon. He worked straight through lunch and into the afternoon before lightheadedness set in, reminding him he needed to eat.

“I’m going to hit the diner,” Nolan said to Skeeter after he’d thoroughly washed his hands. “You want anything?”

“Wouldn’t say no to a BLT on wheat.”

“Okay.”

Nolan had emerged from the garage to find Hannah staring down Fred, and his heart had literally stopped at the sight of her relatively tiny body standing before the huge animal. It took everything he had not to run over and get between her and Fred, but Fred had saved him the trouble by strolling off as if he had not a care in the world.