I Can Make You Hot! (22 page)

Kelly’s Cardinal Rule

Let your body be what your body is and be happy with what you’ve got. I went to a party recently and there was Khloé Kardashian in a tight, skinny dress with this gorgeous butt you could have used to serve tea on. I have to admit, I had enormous butt envy. But no matter what I do, I’ll never be that shape. It’s not in my genes. Khloé Kardashian is HOT with what she’s got because she owns it. I had to remind myself of that, and so should you. Stop praying for what you don’t have and be grateful for what you’ve got.

Every body has a different shape. You need to be proud of that shape and also be aware of what your body needs. Smaller people can’t eat as much as bigger people. As you get older you need fewer calories. But whatever your shape, show it off. Don’t try to hide it. Hiding is not hot. It took the birth of my two girls for me to feel really good about who I was and what I looked like. Someone once told me that a woman always looks most beautiful after she has a child. I guess that’s because instead of running around looking for someone to validate you, you’re giving unconditional love to someone else. I thought that a “real wife” was supposed to be wearing cardigans, so I dressed down and wore bland colors. I was too insecure to wear trends. Then, when my husband and I were separated, I went back to being myself and wearing what I loved—and you should, too.

I still wear those white men’s shirts, but now I wear them in my own size. So here are some of the style lessons I’ve learned along the way to help you determine what is the right style for
you
:

Color Yourself Beautiful

Remember
Color Me Beautiful,
the groundbreaking book that was so wildly successful in the early 80s? The reason it was (and why the Color Me Beautiful brand continues to be) so popular is that author Carole Jackson was really onto something. Dressing in the colors that complement your natural skin tones will help your inner beauty to shine through. Jackson divided people into seasons, depending on their coloring:

KKB Style Mini Manual

HOT comes in all colors, shapes, and sizes, so let’s get one thing straight: When you’re confident you’re HOT, and what you wear can help. To maintain your red-hot confidence find the colors that work with your natural skin tone and dress to accentuate your best features.

WINTERS
have skin with blue or pink undertones. They can be extremely pale, olive-skinned, or dark complected. Many Asians and African Americans are Winters. Their best colors are vivid and bold: blue whites, black, navy, blue reds, and tangerines. Metallics, such as silver and bronze, rather than pastels, work well, too.

SPRINGS
have creamy or peachy white skin (the folks who tend to sunburn easily) and are typically blondes or redheads with freckles, rosy cheeks, and blue or green eyes. Springs look great in warm colors like tans, caramels, light corals, golden yellows, and light browns. Dull, dark colors tend to make them look “washed out.”

SUMMERS
, like winters, have skin with pink or blue undertones, but they tend to have lighter hair and lighter eyes. If you’re a Summer you’ll look terrific in pastels and natural shades with rose or blue tints. Try lavenders, plums, magentas, and baby blues. Black and Orange, especially close to your face, can make you look tired.

FALLS
have golden or yellow undertones to their skin. They’re often redheads or brunettes with golden brown eyes and olive-toned skin that doesn’t burn easily. They look fabulous in camels, greens, oranges, golds, and dark brown, but shouldn’t wear clothes with blue tones that work against the nature tone of their skin.

If you’re unsure of your “season,” hold up different colors to your face. You’ll see in a minute which ones flatter and which don’t. And don’t be swayed by trends. Just because “brown is the new black” this year doesn’t mean you have to wear it if it doesn’t make you look HOT.

Hair color is also important. You can lighten it or darken it or cover the gray, but be sure the shade you choose complements your skin tone—the same way you choose your make-up. Coloring your hair isn’t going to change you from a Winter to a Spring, but it can either liven up or deaden your natural beauty.

Determine Your Body Type

There are five basic body shapes—pear, apple, string bean, hourglass, and broad-shouldered—and most of us fall into one of them. If you’ve taken a good look at yourself in the mirror, you probably know which one you are, but you may not be so sure about how to dress in order to show it off. We can’t all wear every style, but we can all find the styles that work best with what we’ve got.

PEAR SHAPES: SHOW OFF THAT BOOTY
! To every woman who ever wanted to get rid of that fabulous behind or those curvy hips, I want to say
embrace them
! Wear shirts you can tuck in, preferably with a high-waisted skirt or pair of trousers and a fabulous belt. Try classic cropped jackets and A-line dresses, and stay away from loose-fitting tops that make you look bigger, not smaller.
For celebrity inspiration: Jennifer Lopez

APPLE SHAPES: POLISH IT UP
! Not everyone can have a waist like Scarlett O’Hara after her Mammy cinched in those stays so that she couldn’t eat at the barbecue (or breathe, for that matter). I can’t give you a wasp waist, but I can give you more game. Big shirts don’t hide anything; they just cause people to wonder what’s under there. Wear a scarf or a great piece of jewelry to draw the eye upward. Scarves are hippie chic, cool, and always HOT. Wear a square neckline to show off your gorgeous clavicles. And invest in some great shapewear. (I’m not kidding!)

For celebrity inspiration: Jennifer Hudson and Elizabeth Hurley

STRING BEANS: STRETCH IT OUT
! Accentuate your thinness, not your boyish body. Wear a little push-up bra to give you more shape. You’re among the lucky ones who can layer clothes without looking lumpy. Also, think V-necks, empire waists, and long flowy dresses. If you’re narrow, show off how narrow you are with a monochromatic palette.

For celebrity inspiration: Rachel Zoe and the Olsen twins

HOURGLASS: WATCH OUT, CURVES AHEAD
! Channel the
Mad Men
sexy teacher style. Wear sweater vests, pencil skirts, and cigarette pants. Don’t hide what God gave you.

For celebrity inspiration: Sophia Loren and Scarlett Johansson

BROAD SHOULDERS: BE A LOVELY LINEBACKER
! This is me. I’m athletic, lean, and have broad shoulders. I don’t wear strapless, but off-the-shoulder and one-shoulder dresses look great. Go for fitted blazers, peasant tops, racerback tanks, tight jeans, and fitted shirts. I try to draw attention to my legs instead of my shoulders—for me
ankles
are the new cleavage!

Once you’ve figured out which celebrity most closely matches your body type, see what they’re wearing on the red carpet, in movies, and at photo shoots. All these celebrities have stylists who pull the clothes, accessories, and shoes that make them look the way they do. They charge a lot of money for what they do, so why not get some free advice based on my experiences.

Look at
Us Weekly
and watch
E! Fashion Police
to see what the experts think works or doesn’t work for their bodies. As you’ll see, the stars are just like us, and they make mistakes off the red carpet (when they’re dressing themselves), just like the rest of us.

Be Yourself, Please!

Once you’ve figured out the styles and color that work for you, create looks on your own by wearing things that have special meaning for you, whether it’s a diamond bracelet or the macaroni necklace your kid made in school. Most important, wear them with confidence. You’ll always look HOT when what you wear is an extension of who you are.

KKBstyle Rules

1. Save sweatpants for the gym.

2. Save PJs for the bedroom.

3. Dress as if you were the boss.

4. Dress for going out only when you’re going out.

5. Remember what Carrie Bradshaw says: “Nothing is casual anymore, even when it says so on the invitation.”

6. Manolo Blahniks are a girl’s best friend.

Being shapely is HOT. Think of all the curvaceous movie stars like Raquel Welch, Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell. They’re sexy, not skinny. I may look thin in some pictures when I’m coming out of freezing cold water, but normally people describe me as “in shape,” not “skinny”—and that suits me just fine. I work too hard to be called skinny.

There are always days, particularly when it’s “that time of month,” that most of us don’t feel so hot. We tend to feel bloated and figure we might just as well let ourselves go. But if you eat well and stay hydrated, when you’re premenstrual or having your period, you’ll find that the hormones don’t kick in as much. Instead of eating more or going on a chocolate binge, flush your body with extra water, eat light, keep exercising, and you’ll feel better because your endorphins will be flowing while your body is sloughing off unwanted endometrium and mucus. Instead of getting out the fat girl shirt, put on a tank top and a great-looking jacket or even some flattening shapewear. Even for the
Shape
magazine launch party, I wore shapewear underneath my really tight dress because I wanted to be sure all my body parts stayed where they belonged, and I wanted to look as smooth as I could. Bottom line: If you look good, you’ll always feel better.

Here are a few tips for looking HOT when you don’t feel so hot from makeup guru Quinn Murphy, who does makeup for celebrities Mariah Carey, Anne Hathaway, America Ferrera, Nina Garcia, Angie Harmon, and Liv Tyler, among others. He has been doing mine since I joined the cast of the
Real Housewives of New York City
.

When you are not feeling well, you’ll probably have puffiness and dark circles under your eyes. Start by applying a cold compress under your eyes. You can use cucumber slices, a bag of frozen peas, or anything cold. This will reduce the swelling. I like to keep a small test-size jar of moisturizer in the refrigerator to apply to the undereye area in these urgent times.

When you’re under the weather, your skin usually lacks color and glow. Use a cream blush in a warm, natural color followed by a cream or powder bronzer. Then apply a cream or powder highlighter to the top of your cheekbones, down the bridge of the nose, and in the center of the forehead and chin to bring back the glow and luster to your complexion.