I Am What I Am (37 page)

63.
Enjoying a banana (part two).

64.
Getting prepped for Jack to be buried alive, with Phil Shellard’s help – and yes, I am naked.

65.
Reviewing my lines before an emotional scene with Jack’s daughter.

66.
Chatting with director Euros Lyn between scenes.

67.
Life has a funny way of joining up the dots: from standing outside a US ammunition store with Carole and Andrew, aged four … to getting some gun practice on the set of
Doctor Who
series one.

68.
Thanks to some
Torchwood
-style driving, all but my car survived this accident in Bridgend.

69.
Torchwood
is not only important in my life, but also in my family’s. Here I am with Carole on set.

70.
Clare, Gareth and me at Comic-Con. The rickshaw race was the same night.

71.
This is the dinner that led to the rickshaw race in San Diego.

72.
Scott and Clare feeling the pressure of Comic-Con.

73.
At the 2008 Hub convention, I learned not to sit on coffee tables.

74.
Whatever the future holds, ‘I am what I am’.

CHAPTER ONE

1
My sister, Carole, had to have a lie-down the first time she ‘encountered’ my Dalek – and she knew it was there.

2
Yes, I do have a ‘relax’ mode.

3
Mum! Carole hit me.

4
Not meant to be in order of importance.

5
On a clear day, I can see the white-peaked tents of the Minehead Butlins. Wave!

6
Thanks, Vageena!

7
An exterior hallway decked out with tile instead of only Glasgow marble (aka concrete).

8
I can rant about those as much as the next guy, but I’ll restrain myself.

9
Salmon, corn on the cob and baked potatoes, all done on my
Battlestar Galactica
-sized BBQ grill.

CHAPTER TWO

1
I’m kidding, Mum!

2
Okay, so that was Victor Hugo’s lesson via
Les Mis
.

3
No grans were ever in any real danger in this incident.

4
Serves him right that the entire incident still gives him nightmares.

5
Check out YouTube for the proof.

6
Oh vanity, thy name is John.

7
If you don’t get the reference, then rent the film and watch it with your favourite kids.

8
She said the doll looked like it was seriously ill when he was finished.

9
Sounds like a Monty Python skit: ‘Fool the Luftwaffe and win the comfy cushion.’

10
And whisky.

11
Oh, it was a requirement. No options, no gimmies, no mulligans.

12
Shameless plug: if the Scottish slang is throwing you, pick up my first book,
Anything Goes
, for clarification.

13
Yvonne and Bridgett’s name for me.

14
Sounds like some really bad Tolkien ritual.

15
Scottish potatoes – watered with Irn-Bru.

16
For some reason, my dad and his brothers called their mother by her first name.

17
If you’ve ever stood at a Glasgow bus stop on a Saturday night, you’ve met him.

18
Usually about bums or farting.