Hurts So Good (6 page)

“What in the hell are you doing out there?”

Mack took on the same stance with his arms crossed. He leaned against the closed door.
“Working out.
Isn’t that what usually goes on here?” He didn’t mean to be an asshole, but he had been so damn edgy the last few days.

“I’m going to ignore that you just said that, because I can see something is messing with you.” There was a moment of silence where they just stared at each other. “Why don’t you tell me what the problem is?” The thing that Mack liked most about Harlond was the fact he never pried. Not in the last ten years did he ever push him to talk about anything. But right now it was clear on the man’s face he wasn’t about to let this go. Mack sighed and ran a hand over his short hair. The spiky strands were wet, even though he had toweled off. He was losing too much fluid, hadn’t hydrated enough throughout the day, and knew that if he didn’t take care of himself he wasn’t going to be any good to anyone. As if Harlond read his mind he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and walked over to hand it to him. Mack drank half of it and moved over to the empty chair Harlond gestured to.

Harlond had been the only person he had spoken to in great detail as to why he had gone off the deep end all those years ago. Sure, people knew, and if they didn’t know him personally and had seen what had gone down then they heard through the rumor mill. But Mack had never actually spoken to anyone about his problems, not in depth at least. He had been required to speak to a counselor while he was getting sober, but he had withheld a lot from them. He stuck with training and trying to work through his problems on his own. Maybe he should have talked to someone experienced in dealing with what he had gone through, and shouldn’t have dealt with it himself, because it was clear he still had issues, but when he had told Harlond about everything, things just seemed to fit together.

Harlond took a seat beside Mack. “Now, how about you tell me what is going on?” Mack had no intention of lying, but he didn’t want to talk about it either. But the thing with Harlond was that he wouldn’t relent, not if he was insistent on something. “You have to talk about your problems, son.” Mack saw from the corner of his eye that Harlond looked over at him, but Mack kept his head forward. Over the years he had seen Harlond as a father figure. Of course his trainer could never replace his dad, but he had been a good substitute. Sunny had also helped him, and there had been many times that he had felt like giving up again, but he had pushed through all of that, knowing that he didn’t want to go down
that
road again.

“Jane is back in town.” He turned and looked at Harlond.
“For good.”
His trainer nodded and lifted his hand to run it through his short graying hair.
“Ran into her dad at the store a few days ago.
I haven’t talked to her since I pushed her away all those years ago.” Harlond nodded again. He also knew that Mack had gone up there to see her one time, but hadn’t actually spoken to her.

“It’s time to move on. You’ve got your life on track, got yourself clean and your shit together. There
ain’t
no
need to hold onto the past like this. Hell, you think she is still dwelling on it?” Mack turned and looked at him, and there was this serious expression on Harlond’s face. Mack didn’t know the answer to that, so he just didn’t respond. “Look, get over it, okay?” He knew Harlond meant well, but the old man’s words pissed him off.

“That’s easy for you to say.” He gritted out the words, but as soon as they left his mouth he regretted them.

“It’s easy for me?” Harlond kept his voice controlled, but the look on his face was anything but. “Who is the one that pulled you out of the gutter instead of letting you rot there? Who is the one that took you in and treated you like one of my own? And who in the hell was the one that stuck by your side when you would have relapsed and lost everything once again? And you have the balls to tell me that it’s easy for me?” He stood, his hands clenched at his sides, and his jaw hardened.

“You know what I am saying, Harlond. I love that girl. I’m still in love with her, and I know there isn’t anything that can ever make things right. Even if she forgave me, you think she is going to want me?” Mack’s voice was rising on its own accord. “You think she can look at me and not see the fuck-up that chose alcohol, drugs, and my own selfish need instead of her?”

Harlond looked at him with a hard expression. “You need to get over it. It has been ten damn years.
Ten
long
years.
And the next step is talking to that girl, apologizing to her face-to-face, and salvaging what is left. Dwelling on this shit is like beating a dead horse. I don’t want to be harsh, but you need harsh. Get the fuck over it.” He held Mack’s gaze for several moments, and then turned and walked toward the front door, but when he gripped the handle Mack called out.

“You’re right.” Harlond didn’t turn around. “I’m sorry for saying that. I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass. I will never be able to say thank you enough for what you did for me, for making me see what I was doing to others, and for the fact you took me under your wing.” Harlond’s shoulders sagged. “It is time that I man-up, go to Jane, and say the things I should have said to her all those years ago.” Harlond still didn’t turn around, but he nodded once, opened the door, and left Mack to his thoughts, and how exactly he was going to confront the woman he was still in love with.

Chapter Four

Jane did another walkthrough of the new office she would be managing. “J&A Attorneys at Law” was scheduled to open next week, if things went as planned. Even though Absinthe was a smaller town, and certainly didn’t have the geographical reach like Colton had, it got a lot of traffic since it was in a central location for several bigger towns. J&A also had a very prestigious reputation, so Jane had no doubt that it would do really well.

“Everything look good?”

Jane ran her finger along the edge of a large picture of a waterfall surrounded by large evergreens and spruces. She turned and looked at Celine, the receptionist for this office, and smiled.

“It looks great. Thanks for all your help getting the details in order for the opening.”

Celine shrugged, but there was a light tinge of pink that appeared on her cheeks. She was a little thing, with a bob of reddish brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a rack that looked slightly off on her small body due to how huge it was.

“You were the one that did most of the work. But I think the brown and teal really complement each other well.” Jane couldn’t agree more. The two colors accented each other, and the pictures of the forests in the next town over made the office serene. Jane turned back around and looked at the electric fireplace that they had added for a touch of comfort. There were three offices in the back for the attorneys to consult with clients, and for her to manage the paperwork. The secretary’s desk was situated right before the double frosted doors that led to said offices, and a nice, small, and quaint little waiting area where prospective clients first walked in. The good thing about this promotion was she wouldn’t have to spend much time speaking with clients. Mainly she would be managing court hearings, the legal documents for the attorneys, and other personal matters that went on behind the scenes that the lawyers didn’t have time for. Vibrating came from her pocket, and she reached in and retrieved her cell. Her dad’s number flashed, and she slid her finger across the screen to answer it.
“Hi, Dad.”
She adjusted one of the smaller pictures, which was slightly crooked.

“Hi, honey.” There was something off about her dad’s voice.

“What’s wrong?” Jane sat in one of the leather chairs and breathed out when her dad didn’t answer. “What is wrong now, Dad?”

“Someone came to the house looking for you today.” Her heart pounded ridiculously hard, and she placed a hand on the center of her chest. She didn’t need to ask who that someone was, because Mack was all she had been able to focus on since she had come to town a few days ago, and it had only gotten worse when she had that talk with her dad. She had come to the conclusion that she wasn’t going to hide from him or their past, and that it was time to move on, but free time had been slim since she had been preparing the office.

“So, what, you told him where I was?” She scrubbed a hand over her eyes.

“Of course not, although he knows you’ll be working at the office now, but I took his information and told him I’d let you know he wants to talk. Honey, it is totally up to you on what you want to do with this.” She didn’t say anything for a minute, and just watched a few people come and go out of the little clothing store right across the street. “We can talk about this when you get home, okay?”

“No, just let me have his number and address.” She stood and walked over to the receptionist’s desk and grabbed a pen and slip of paper. Her dad gave her the information, and when they got off the phone she stared at the numbers she’d scribbled down. Heart racing, palms sweaty, and adrenalin pounding through her veins, Jane hadn’t realized how hard this really was. Wasn’t this what she had planned on, though? Contacting Mack and sitting down to work through all of their problems so that maybe, just maybe, they could become friends once again. She knew that any kind of romantic relationship between them wasn’t a reality, and not just because of Graison, because she knew that being with Graison wasn’t something she could do any longer. Jane knew she and Mack couldn’t be together in any other way than as friends because, well, the history between them was too rough and raw. It shouldn’t be a problem anymore, but this was reality, and not some movie or book where she could just turn the page and everything would be okay.

“Hey, are you okay?” Celine moved to stand beside her, and the concern on her face was tangible. “You look like you’re going to throw up.” Jane sure as hell felt like it, too.

“I’m good, just some old stuff brought back up.” The sun was already starting to set, and she looked down at the number and address once again. Her fingers itched to call him, to hear his voice because it had been so damn long since she had, but instead she mumbled something to Celine about needing to go, grabbed her purse, and headed outside. She’d have to head home first since Graison was heading back to Colton today, but she needed to change into something more comfortable. There was no doubt in her mind that the conversation she had with Mack would be a long one. Besides, she desperately needed to see him, talk to him face-to-face. Maybe calling would have been the smart thing to do, the
safe
thing, but Jane was sick of playing it safe, was sick of holding herself back because she was afraid. She should have never let the distance, literal and figurative, come between them, but fear was a strong, persistent bitch.

She headed outside, got in her car, and drove to her parents’ house. There was so much she had to do: unpack her belongings in her new place, start her new position come Monday, figure out a way to let Graison know she just couldn’t be with him any longer without having it end in this big heart breaking explosion, and figure out what she was going to do about Mack. Despite all of those things being important, all she could think about was the last. She pulled into her parents’ driveway and saw Graison coming out of the house with his suitcase. The moving van was gone, and she had to assume her father and Graison had taken it back already since she unloaded the last of her things into her condo early this morning. She still had her suitcase at her parents’ place, but tomorrow she planned on unpacking things at her condo and trying to get situated. Graison stopped and waved at her. His smile was brilliant, and she felt like such a bitch over the fact that she was going to break it off with him.

Maybe you don’t have to. Maybe you can work through it, sit down with him and tell Graison what it is you feel like you’re missing?
Yeah, she could, but the end result was still the same, and her feelings wouldn’t change. But how could she end their relationship when he was heading back? This prolonging
things
was all Jane’s fault. She should have ended it back in Colton, but God, she still cared for him as a friend, had given two years of her life to him, and she didn’t want to hurt him any more than she was sure was inevitable.

She opened her door and climbed out, and of course he was right there grabbing the extra things out of her arms so she didn’t have to carry them. “How was the office?
Everything coming together?”

“Yeah.
Now all that is left is to open the front doors come Monday.” She smiled, and he pushed her hair off her shoulder. He leaned down and kissed her before she could stop him. It just felt awkward and wrong almost because her feelings were elsewhere. She pulled back, and this strange look crossed his face for a second before he schooled his features. They both headed up to the porch and took the steps up to the front door. “Are you leaving already?” She turned and eyed the suitcase he set by the garage. She had planned on taking him back to Colton since he drove the moving van up and left his car, but it was clear he was planning on leaving tonight. Why else would he bring his bag out?