Hunting Wolf: Black Mesa Wolves #3 (23 page)

He kept a steady gaze on his alpha. His father's brows had lowered again, his face otherwise utter still. Deep grooves lined his mouth, since he could be quick with laughter when in a good mood. Permanent lines etched almost as deeply into his forehead, too. Being an alpha was not for the weak or indecisive. It came with a pretty high price tag.

Being an alpha was not ever for someone like Caleb. He knew that. He was a good Guardian—or so he'd always believed. But he'd never known what else to do with his life than fight. An alpha couldn't ever go off half-cocked like he had today. If his choice to be a fighter meant the end of life as he knew it in his Pack... A different pain stabbed at him with that thought. He forced himself to complete it, still holding steady under the unreadable examination by his alpha.

If he was no longer to be a part of this Pack, which was within his Alpha's rights to decide, he would figure out something. Who knew the hell what, but he would.

Hopefully with a gorgeous little wolf by his side, even though that was probably very wishful thinking at best right now.

When Alpha's voice finally shattered the quiet bubble in the room, just the sound made Caleb jerk in surprise.

“Caleb, you made an extremely rash, impetuous, and dangerous decision today. I would like to know why.” The Alpha's even, almost neutral voice filled the room.

Caleb steeled himself. He forced himself to speak in typical Guardian report format, keeping his words short and to the point.

“This Pack means everything to me. Sir,” he added again. “I felt the rogue threat was not being handled as...ah, as efficiently as it could be.” Caleb hung onto his resolve. Even so, he was basically telling his Alpha he didn't know how to run his own pack. Not too smart. “I think trusting the former rogue, Licas Rawlins, may have been a bad idea due to some sort of plan by the Upper North Woods Pack. He said something about a long-standing plot to take control over every wolf pack in North America.”

Caleb paused for breath. His Alpha waited, still unreadable.

“We can't trust those rogues even one inch. You gave Luke permission to run his own pack.” Caleb fought hard to keep the bad taste in his mouth from sounding in his words as well. “But I think he was in on his former pack's plan from the beginning and is just fooling our Pack. My duty as a Guardian has always been to protect this Pack whenever and however necessary. I did what I thought best.”

He paused. What he had to say next wasn't the easiest thing he'd ever had to do. But, damn it, it was true. His wolf whined quietly.

“But I....” Shit. This was hard. He took a breath and tried again. “I made a mistake, sir. I let my temper rule my judgment. You've always told me I do that.” A muscle twitched under his eye but he kept going. “You're right. The thing is, this Pack is the most important thing in the world to me. And all I really know how to do well is protect it. So I did what I thought was best under the circumstances. I was wrong.”

A beat. From both pain and trepidation, Caleb held his breath.

“And would you make that same choice again?” His Alpha eyed him with his relentless gaze.

Caleb let his breath out, then sucked in a smaller one. “I would hope I could follow your orders better. But sometimes I have a hard time doing that.” Truth. “And these rogues.” He paused as he felt the fury rising in him again. Forcing calm into himself, he waited a moment before he could finish. “They are a clear threat to each and every member of this Pack. I'm not sure I can maintain my temper when it comes to them.”

The Alpha began to tap two of his fingers together, a sign he was about to ask an even harder question.

“What if Rielle were the one directly threatened by rogue wolves? Or any wolves, for that matter?” His expression remained distant, but his words came out like tiny bullets. “Would you cast aside all good sense, all direct orders, and do anything you felt you needed to in order to save her?”

Caleb rocked back on his feet, feeling almost physically slammed. His mind half-exploded with the sudden rush of images and thoughts tangling around inside him. Ree's face, looking at him last night like he was most incredible guy in the world. That ugly speckled wolf taunting him. Luke's brother, ready to leap on his own blood relation and literally rip him to shreds. Each member of the Black Mesa Pack, from youngest to oldest, once living their lives in freedom and ease, now suddenly fearful at every strange scent in the area.

Mostly, Ree's softness filled his head. Her gentle smile, her sassy words when he pissed her off, her kindness to everyone she met. Her long, lush kisses that pretty much destroyed him, instantly turning him from a lady killer to a one-woman wolf.

Mate,
his wolf growled, although it was low in the presence of the Alpha.
Mate.

Yeah. He would do anything for her. Even if she thought it was the wrong thing, even if it
was
the wrong thing. She was his to protect, now and forever.

Back ramrod straight, he looked his alpha straight in the eye. “Yes. I would. It would be wrong, but I would defy you again if it kept her safe.”

It might have been the most honest thing he'd said in his life. And he was a pretty damn straight-talking wolf as it was.

Long minutes ticked by while the Black Mesa Alpha regarded his Pack Guardian and son. Caleb forced himself to breathe slowly. He felt nervous. Damn nervous. But somehow, he also felt centered, just like Rafe was always going on about. He didn't know what his Alpha was about to say. For some unknown reason, that was okay.

Finally, the Pack Alpha spoke.

“Caleb Bardou, Black Mesa Wolf Pack Guardian,” he said in formal tones, “you made a serious error in judgment when you set off alone with intent to terminate the lives of those wolves. You defied direct orders, which were to bring any such wolves to myself or to the Alpha of the Silver Mountain Pack. If you had actually killed one or more of them, I would have little choice but to hold a tribunal, in which it would be almost certain you would be expelled from this Pack.”

The room swayed a little bit. Caleb managed to keep his stance stiff and straight.

“As you did not actually kill either one, there is no need for an official regional tribunal. Your punishment is solely up to me.”

The Alpha took a deep breath. Caleb steeled himself for whatever was about to come.

“Caleb Bardou, you are relieved of your Guardian duties effective immediately. What have you to say in response to this justice?”

The traditional words hung in the room, their echo seeming loud as a gunshot.

Mouth suddenly dry, Caleb had to try a few times before he could push his words out. “I accept your justice, sir.” His raspy voice sounded weak. Awesome. “And—I behaved like a dumbass. They're the ones who played me, aren't they.” This last part was a sudden, bitter revelation. “I earned this justice. But I sure as hell admit I'd probably do it again, if it meant saving Ree from anyone who wanted to hurt her. Or if it meant protecting this Pack.”

Channing Bardou sighed before pushing back his chair and standing up. Coming to the front of his desk, he leaned against it, arms crossed, and slowly shook his head at Caleb.

“You've always relied on your physical strengths and your battle acumen,” he said. A sudden smile curved his mouth up. “You did learn a lot reading all those books of Kurt's, didn't you?”

Despite the leaden feeling in each of his limbs, Caleb nodded.

“He knew just how to direct your youthful energies. He always was a brilliant strategist himself.”

Caleb filed away that interesting tidbit for more examination another day.

“Your battle knowledge is exceptional,” the Alpha went on. “However, you do have other strengths, Caleb. This will be an opportunity for you to discover what those strengths are.”

“By doing what?” Caleb asked. He tried to keep his voice from barking, but now that the mood in the room was less formal, he couldn't contain it. Right. Because he was impetuous.

“By being forced to rely on other things than simply your paws, jaws, and claws.” The Alpha smiled, but there was no mockery in it.

Caleb nodded grimly. His mantra had never been secret, since he'd announced it to anyone who would listen when he was about twelve or so. All the same, he suddenly felt very vulnerable. It was like being naked in a pit full of viper snakes and no way out. Except, apparently, up.

His father stood suddenly and reached forward to pull Caleb into a hug. Hugging among shifters was fairly common, touch in general was, but signs of affection from the Alpha were more rare. Startled, Caleb stiffened at first before relaxing slightly. His father released him and stepped back, although he kept a hand on Caleb's shoulder.

“You are far stronger than you think,” his Alpha said to him, his serious voice etching the words into Caleb's memory. “In ways you do not believe. Despite your very ill thought-out choice, this result is the best thing that could happen to you. Well,” and now the skin around the Alpha's eyes crinkled as he smiled, “except perhaps a certain pretty wolf who has been keeping your company. I suspect she is also an extremely wonderful happening in your life. The right woman usually is.”

“Uh,” Caleb said, wondering if the Alpha had been taking lessons in touchy-feely conversational topics from his mate. “Yeah.”

“You will figure this out, Caleb. Especially with her by your side. Now,” the Alpha said, voice brisk. “You may go. I have other things to attend to. I suspect your wounds might need some treating,” he added, nodding toward Caleb's ribs. “I'm sure your mother will be free now.”

“Now?” Caleb asked, puzzled.

“She came to tend to Luke. He was rather badly injured by his brother.” Ice cascaded through Alpha's voice.

“I see,” was all Caleb could make himself say. Yes, Luke had shown up there by his own choice—but Caleb had been the one to text him, goading him to come. He blew out a breath of frustration at himself, then grimaced when his ribs protested.

“Go,” his Alpha ordered. “I will always be here when you need to discuss anything,” he added.

Caleb nodded, then turned and walked out, trying to hold his head high. He didn't know who the hell he was if he wasn't a Guardian, but Alpha was right. With Rielle at his side, he'd have a shot at finding out.

~

Two weeks later

Rielle breathed in the soft smell of the pine tree right by her face. Scents of butterscotch and vanilla tickled her nose. Early evening air blissfully cooled by a recent storm slipped over the bare skin on her upper arms. Sighing in utter contentment, she rolled over to face her love.

Flat on his back, arms outstretched over his head, Caleb looked the picture of peace as well. The tough cast to his face seemed smoothed out. His entire body exuded a relaxation she was still getting used to.

Despite his closed eyes, he seemed to sense her staring at him. A smile stole over his mouth, finally broadening into a playful word. “What? I know you're looking at me. I can feel your eyes burning holes through my flesh.”

Rielle swatted at him with gentle fingers. He caught her hand and drew it to his lips. His kisses on the sensitive pads of her fingers sent thrills rioting throughout her nerve endings. She wondered if it were possible to be short circuited just from his touch.

“I'm just appreciating your presence again. Your presence here at all.” As usual, the second she thought of how close he'd come to getting himself banished from her life forever, her eyes welled up.

He seemed to sense that. Opening his own eyes, he turned his blue gaze on her. As soon as he saw her tears, his face crumpled into that concerned look he got around her sometimes.

“Aw, Ree. Don't. I'm here. I was an idiot. I won't do it again.”

“We're working on making sure you won't do it again,” she corrected, stroking his face with the hand there and wiping her eyes with her other.

“Yeah.”

The rogue threat still rumbled like an ominous thundercloud over the entire Pack. Rielle knew major preparation for some sort of response to it once and for all was in the works. She also knew the shape of that response intrigued Caleb. Rather, it half killed him to not be involved right now. Picking up on mere bits and pieces of a growing plan to forever squash the rogue threat was hard for him to accept as a regular member of the Pack.

But Caleb Bardou was still essential to the Pack. She knew that, and she knew his role would still be strong. In fact, she wasn't entirely certain he wouldn't one day again be a Guardian. The Alpha worked in mysterious ways, but they were ways that always ultimately meant the best possible outcome for the Pack. Not to mention his highly calculated chess moves were also about fifteen steps ahead of anything anyone in the Pack could ever predict. She was sure he had a master plan for Caleb's future already in place. Caleb had a lot to learn from his outright defiance of Alpha's orders, and learn he would. Alpha had made certain of that. After Caleb had more time to reflect on everything, though, Rielle suspected he was going to be an even more amazing wolf than he already was. She was more than thrilled to be at his side every step of the way.

Together. Both of us learning, together,
her wolf thought in a quiet, knowing way tinged with pure happiness. She sent an image of Caleb and Rielle in wolf form, together learning what they needed in order to come fully into themselves.

Yes, indeed.

Caleb half rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow. Looking down at her, he seemed so big, so imposing. So completely protective. Rielle loved it.

The past two weeks had been almost more tumultuous than the days leading up to Caleb's being stripped of his role as a Pack Guardian. He'd spent a lot of time in the den's gym. She saw him slamming the bright red boxing bag with such force it ruptured. He'd wake up in the middle of the night, growling from a dream, and she would soothe him in her newly favorite way. Sometimes, though, he'd leave the warm bed and go for a run alone around the property, blowing off the steam he had built up from the abrupt lack of direction in his life. She knew he was terrified. Yet he was also slowly coming closer to the realization the Alpha had been right. There was so much more to Caleb than only the fighter eager to answer everything with his fists. She'd known that. It was up to him to start to understand it as well, though.