Huckleberry Christmas (22 page)

Tyler felt like a sardine packed in a can. Felty sat to his left, Aden sat to his right, and Tyler was crammed in the middle of the backseat of the car. Though he had shrunk a little over the years, Felty had always been a tall man. And Aden, at six feet a hundred inches, took up more than his share of space. Tyler wasn’t as tall as either of his companions, but his wide shoulders and muscular arms didn’t fit so well between them. He groaned inwardly. They were going all the way to Green Bay like this. On the way home, he’d opt to sit in the front with Max Bonham, their driver.

Felty should have been sitting in the front right now. Tyler couldn’t begin to guess why he had chosen to squeeze next to Tyler and Aden in the back.

Felty pried his arm from between them and pulled his small wire-bound notebook out of his pocket. “I’m glad you came with me. Annie is baking Christmas goodies and couldn’t spare the time, and I’ve got to see what I can do about finding the rest of my license plates. I’ve got Hawaii, Delaware, Nevada, and Rhode Island left to find.”

Despite the heaviness in his chest, Tyler felt like laughing. Only Felty would pay the money to hire a driver to take him to Green Bay so he could scout license plates. On December 23.

Tyler thought it unlikely that they’d find Hawaii in the dead of winter in frigid Green Bay, Wisconsin, but they’d definitely see more license plates there than passed through Bonduel all year.

Aden propped his elbow on the small ledge next to the window. “Lily wanted me out of the house. I think she’s planning a surprise for Christmas.”

“Three pairs of eyes are better than one. Especially since I need glasses to see past the end of my nose.” Felty nudged Tyler’s squished arm. “To tell the honest truth, Anna asked me to bring you. She thinks looking for license plates will bring you some cheer. You smile like you’ve got heartburn.”

Tyler let his smile droop. He should have known better than to try to fake happiness. Grinning stupidly was anything but natural for him—except when he spent time with Beth. He couldn’t help but smile around her.

That was, until a week and a half ago. Now he felt lower than a fat beetle crawling across the floor. Finding Delaware wouldn’t improve his mood one bit. Even Hawaii had no power to make him happy. He wanted to marry Beth in the worst way, and she wouldn’t have him.

Aden shook his head in resignation. “I’ll say it again, Tyler. Go talk to her.”

“Every time I say something, she gets mad. I’ve apologized so many times my throat is raw.”

Felty tapped his pencil on his notebook. “You told me stubbornness is her best quality.”

Tyler wiggled his arms out from between Felty and Aden and folded them across his chest. “She’s holding on to her past with white knuckles. It’s not my place to pry her away.”

“It’s not like you to give up so easy,” Aden said.

The weight pressing on his chest grew unbearably heavy. “Easy? I made her bacon-grease pancakes. I bought her a rotary cutter and asked her to marry me. I kissed her twice.” The memory rendered him momentarily unable to speak. Those kisses would stay with him forever.

“Only twice?”

“Did you hear that part about asking her to marry me? I’ve done everything I can.”

Aden lifted an eyebrow. “I got arrested, the elders had me shunned, and I stole your fiancée. You didn’t give up on me.”

He looked away from Aden’s intense gaze. “She thinks I’ll turn into Amos.”

Felty turned from the window long enough to give Tyler a sympathetic glance. “I don’t think even Annie has an answer for that.”

Aden sneered. “That’s insulting.” He rubbed the new beard on his chin. “Those three years with Amos damaged her spirit. She came home unable to trust men and unwilling to trust in God. But if anyone can make her believe again, it’s you.”

Tyler clenched his fists. The thought of Amos’s treatment of Beth still angered him as nothing else did. He leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands. “It hurts too much. I don’t want it anymore.”

“It’s love, Tyler,” Aden said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Love is a messy jumble of heartbreak and anger and happiness beyond your wildest dreams.”

“The pain is going to suffocate me.”

“She’s worth fighting for.”

Of course she was worth it. She had become more important to him than sunshine or rain. Her smile shined brighter than a thousand kerosene lanterns and put off more heat than a forest fire. The sound of her laughter still teased him in his sleep and the feel of her skin lingered on the tips of his fingers even now.

But he could also remember, in vivid detail, the pain that sliced through him when she had accused him of being like Amos, as if the four months they’d known each other didn’t matter. As if all the kindness and affection he’d felt for her meant nothing, and nothing he could do would ever convince her of his faithfulness.

He ached at the thought of giving up, and he ached at the thought of trying again.

But as he sat there by Beth’s cousin and grandfather, he knew without a doubt he must try again. The thought of losing Beth knocked the wind right out of him. “I’ll . . . I’ll go talk to her, as soon as we get home.”

“That’s no use,” Felty said. “She’s gone to Indiana with Isaac Hostetler.”

Tyler thought his tongue might dry up and fall out of his mouth. “What?”

“Last Friday morning. He somehow managed to convince her to go back with him. Annie spent an hour trying to talk her out of it.”

“Did she say why?”

“She told Annie it was something she needed to do, and she wouldn’t be persuaded otherwise, so Annie sent her with some potholders just in case they would help.”

The news punched Tyler in the gut. Only the direst circumstances would convince Beth to return to that pack of wolves. What in the world had compelled her to go?

Another punch to the gut. He knew what had compelled her to get away from Bonduel. He’d been short with her, almost harsh, when he’d met her at the bazaar. Ignoring the sorrow in her eyes, he had turned his back on her because he hadn’t wanted to compound his own pain. Had he driven her into Isaac’s arms?

There was no other explanation.

What had he done?

He smacked the back of the driver’s seat. “Turn around,” he said. Then, louder: “Stop the car. We have to go back.”

In alarm, Max pulled to the side of the road into a drift of gravel mixed with snow. “What’s the matter?”

Tyler leaned forward. “Can you take them back to Bonduel, and then drive me to Nappanee?”

Max furrowed his brow in puzzlement. “Nappanee, Indiana? That’s a six-hour drive.”

“Please, Max. It’s an emergency.”

“It’s two days before Christmas.”

“I’ll pay anything you want.”

Aden asked the logical question. “Have you gone crazy?”

“Beth’s in trouble. I don’t know what he said to persuade her or if it was something I said, but she needs my help. You don’t know what power those people have over her.”

“Are you sure?”

“They insult her and criticize her and make her feel guilty and helpless, and I’ve got to save her.” His sense of urgency increased as he spoke. He didn’t care if she didn’t want to be rescued. He would rescue her anyway. Let her be mad at him for the rest of her life. Let her destroy every sunflower on Huckleberry Hill. He couldn’t bear it if those people hurt her again.

He turned to Felty. “I’m sorry. I know you need those license plates, but I’ve got to bring Beth back.”

Felty shrugged and slid the notebook back into his pocket. “I had hoped to finish my list this year, but Annie would never forgive me if I made you come to Green Bay when you should be in Nappanee wooing our great-granddaughter.”

“Max?” Tyler said.

Max glanced in his rearview mirror and made a hard U-turn. “Why not? I never could resist young love.”

Tyler thought he might pass out with gratitude. Or desperation. She’d been gone four days already. If he had wings, he’d fly to Nappanee. He could only pray that she’d be all right until he got there.

Isaac lifted his spoon laden with stiff potatoes and let it fall to his plate with a heavy
kerplunk
. “How does anyone mess up mashed potatoes? Beth, you’re the worst cook I’ve ever seen.”

She’d been in Nappanee four days, and Isaac’s criticisms had become more frequent every hour. He delivered his insults with a smile, which in his mind must have seemed teasing and playful instead of hurtful.

They didn’t amuse Beth.

She was still puzzled as to why Isaac was so eager to marry someone he considered lacking in every way. It made no sense. His complaints made it seem as if he would be happy to get rid of her as soon as possible.

Treva took a small taste and smacked her lips, testing the consistency of her potatoes. “If you whip them too long, they get starchy.” She discarded her spoon as if giving up on the whole dinner. “They taste like glue.”

Beth shouldn’t have expected anything more from the two of them. She’d cooked every meal since the day she’d walked into this house, and Treva and Isaac had seldom commented on the food except to find it overcooked or undercooked, too soft, too hard, too sweet, or too salty. In an attempt to please her relatives, Beth had spent the better part of the day preparing tonight’s meal, because even though Treva didn’t know it, it would be Beth’s last in this house.

She’d found a nice little ham at the market, perfect for the three of them and Toby, and spent half an hour making a honey glaze. Beth took a bite. It hadn’t turned out half bad. In truth, she’d be proud to serve this ham to Tyler. Tyler wouldn’t even have to pretend to like it.

“The ham is dry,” Treva complained. “You’ll have to do better than that if I’m going to let you cook for me.”

Toby seemed to be enjoying his meal. He’d dipped all his fingers in the potatoes and licked his hands hungrily. He alternated bites of potato and ham with handfuls of corn. The corn that didn’t make it into his mouth stuck to the pasty mashed potatoes on his face. He would need a bath that Beth wouldn’t have time to give him.

Beth glanced at the clock even though it was only one minute later than the last time she’d looked. Her driver couldn’t be here until six. If she could have found a way to get out of here earlier, she would have taken it, but her driver options were limited the day before Christmas Eve. She felt grateful that anyone could drive her at all. Six o’clock would be early enough.

She still had to make explanations to Treva and Isaac and thought it might be better to spring the news on them right before she walked—or ran—out the door. Her suitcase and Toby’s car seat and keavli sat on the porch, strategically placed for a quick getaway. She didn’t want to take the time later to gather their things.

As far as Beth was concerned, she couldn’t leave soon enough. In four days, Isaac had become insufferable, as he had last summer when he wouldn’t leave her be. He tried to corner her when they were alone or steal a kiss when Treva wasn’t looking, although it was plain that Treva knew exactly what went on. She had no reservations about Isaac forcing himself on Beth. Her mother-in-law wanted Beth to stay in Indiana. A marriage to Isaac was the best way to ensure that.

Toby picked up a handful of corn and threw it on the floor.

“No, Toby,” Treva snapped as she smacked his hand.

Toby let out a wail as if his mammi had broken his tender heart.

Beth leaped from her chair and lifted Toby into her arms. Anger tore through her chest though her voice remained calm and rational. “Treva, I’ll ask you not to strike my son, as I’ve asked you before.”

“You spoil him,” Treva protested. “I never let my babies throw food on the floor. They got the switch. He should feel glad I only tapped his hand.”

Isaac pointed his fork at Toby. “Things will be different when I’m his dat.”

A chill ran up Beth’s spine. Less than an hour to go. Oh, how wonderful to be leaving!

She took Toby to the sink and washed his face and hands. Keeping him firmly in her embrace, she cleared the dishes, set the table with smaller plates, and brought dessert to the table.

“What’s this?” Isaac asked, gazing suspiciously at the brownie-like cake.

“It’s gingerbread with rum butter sauce. My mamm’s recipe. She makes it every Christmas.” It wasn’t really Christmas without Mamm’s gingerbread, and even though Isaac and Treva wouldn’t appreciate it, Beth had been trying to be thoughtful when she made it.

She cut each of them a piece, spooned sauce over the top, and gave each piece a dollop of whipped cream. Not daring to let Toby out of the safety of her arms, she held him on her lap and fed him from her plate. She took a bite. Delicious. Sometimes recipes worked out okay for her.

Neither Treva nor Isaac commented on the dessert. Beth took that as a very good sign that they loved it. Isaac finished his portion in about four bites and served himself another piece.

Beth took one last bite and swallowed hard. There was no ignoring the boulder-sized lump in her throat and no avoiding the words she must say. “Treva and Isaac, I want to talk to you about my plans for the future.”

It was incomprehensible that Isaac could be expecting a yes to his proposal, but his face brightened when she mentioned her future, and he leaned closer to her across the table. That lump felt like a bus lodged in her throat.

“First, Isaac, I’m flattered that you want to marry me. Amos always told me how you two could have your pick of any girl in the county. But I have to decline your offer. I am going back to Wisconsin.”

Isaac turned to cold, hard stone.

She moved on. Better to get this all out before Isaac started shouting.

Treva beat him to it. “What are you going to do, leave me to die?” She stood, and Beth flinched when she pounded on the table. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare, you heartless girl.”

Beth clutched Toby closer to her bosom and answered meekly. “Treva, will you sit down so I can tell you the plan?”

“No. You can’t tell me anything, you ungrateful little snake.”

“Priscilla, Martha, and Susannah have each agreed to take care of you.”

“They hate me.”

Beth ran her hand along Toby’s arm as he started to cry. “They will each spend one day a week with you while you go through chemotherapy. We have all agreed to pitch in for a girl to care for you three days a week. Isaac will take care of you on Sundays, and I will come two weeks every summer.”

“You’re going to let a stranger come into my home and do the job an ungrateful daughter-in-law should be doing?”

“Yes,” Beth said, not even trying to defend herself. Treva was beyond reasoning with.

“And what about Isaac? He loves you. I’m not going to let you do this to him, to break his heart like that. Don’t you care about his feelings? Don’t you care that he feels a solemn responsibility to care for his brother’s wife and child?”

“I release him of any responsibility. He is free to choose another wife.”

Isaac finally spoke, and she could see the rage bubbling inside him like a geyser waiting to erupt. “Why don’t you want me, Beth? I’m just like Amos. You loved Amos.”

The lump traveled to the pit of her stomach. She didn’t want him to think he could persuade her. Despite the risk, she would be completely honest. “The honest truth is, I was miserable being married to Amos. After the first few months, he never had a kind word to say to me.”

Treva hissed. “Of course not. He tried to improve you. When he gave you suggestions about your cooking, he hoped to make you work harder in the kitchen. Everything he said was meant to help you turn into a better wife. He suffered through three years of bad food and shoddy housekeeping. He is the one who was miserable. You should thank his memory for that instead of holding a grudge.”

“I have forgiven him. And you’re right. I learned many things from Amos, but I hadn’t realized it until a few days ago. Living with Amos helped me find my strength after he died. I’m grateful for that.” She looked to the ceiling as if talking to God. “And I couldn’t have said that a week ago.”

Isaac scowled like she wasn’t making any sense. “You should be grateful I’m willing to take you, Beth. You should be down on your knees thanking me for my generosity. Most widows don’t get another chance.”

Beth sighed. “Treva says Amos was miserable being married to me. Why do you want a wife who can’t make you happy, Isaac?”

His agitation seemed to subside momentarily. “Because I love you. I loved you from the day I saw you.”

“Why?”

His sputtering proved he wasn’t used to saying nice things to Beth. “Because . . . you’re pretty . . . and you smile at me.”

Surely Isaac could find a pretty girl in Nappanee to smile at him once in a while. Maybe not. Maybe they all knew what he was really like.

She held her breath as he glided toward her and slid his hands around her waist. With Toby in her arms, she couldn’t move fast enough to dodge him.

Refusing to look him in the eye, she said, “Please get away from me, Isaac.”

“I want you to love me,” he said.

“Stop it, Isaac,” Treva growled.

“Get away.” Beth shuddered as she felt his breath on her cheek.

“Your boyfriend isn’t here this time.”

Toby struggled in her arms as Isaac pressed himself closer.

She knew how much her next words would provoke him, but they had to be said. Her heart thumped anxiously against her chest. “I don’t love you. I will never love you, and nothing you do will ever convince me to marry you.”

Boiling with fury, Isaac shoved Beth away from him. She almost lost her balance but managed to stay on her feet. With Toby tightly in her grasp, she backed away until the sofa stopped her retreat. Her first concern was Toby’s protection.

Yelling obscenities, Isaac swept his hands across the table and sent dishes and silverware crashing to the floor. Terrified, Toby wailed in alarm while Beth did her best to comfort him even while trying to quell her own rising panic.

Treva screamed at the top of her lungs. “What are you doing? Get a hold of yourself, Isaac.”

Isaac pointed to Toby and then glared at his mamm. “Shut up, Toby! Shut up, Mamm.”

Toby screamed as if he’d been stung by a wasp.

The front door swung open, and an angel stormed into the room. Apparently, angels didn’t bother to knock. And he could have been the avenging angel for the dark look in his eyes.

Isaac froze where he stood. Treva clapped her mouth shut.

Beth’s relief was as tangible as the comfort of a warm blanket as Tyler, tall and straight, surveyed the room as if he had come to conquer it. He strode to Beth’s side and placed his strong hands on her shoulders. “Are you all right?”

Too breathless to answer, Beth looked into those stormy eyes and nodded.

Still bawling in Beth’s arms, Toby struggled to reach Tyler. “Mommy,” he cried.

Tyler ran his hand along the top of Toby’s head but made no move to take him. “Go outside and wait in the car.”

“Get out!” Isaac yelled. “Get out of my house!”

Tyler snapped his head around to look at Isaac. “Go, Beth.”

She couldn’t move fast enough. Instinct took her halfway to the door before a wave of awareness plowed into her and she realized what she had to do. She turned back and foisted Toby into Tyler’s arms.

The shock on his face soon gave way to a look of sheer urgency. “Beth, take Toby and go.”

Isaac hurled a plate at the floor. “You can’t just walk in here. Get out!”

“Isaac, stop throwing things,” Treva yelled. “You’re acting like an animal.”

Isaac yelled back. He and his mamm screamed insults at each other while Beth’s mind raced.

She nudged Tyler toward the door. “I will not let him hurt you again.”

“Better me than you,” Tyler said, trying to give Toby back. She wouldn’t take him.

“Tyler.” She willed him to see the terror and the determination in her eyes. “I know what you are prepared to suffer for me, but if I can’t fight for myself, I will never deserve you.”

“That’s not true.”

“Tyler, look at me,” she whispered.

He paused his protest long enough to let her take his face in her hands.

“I don’t want you to rescue me,” she said, pleading with her eyes. “Please. Let me do this.”

His frown slashed deep lines into his handsome features. Breathing heavily, he stared at her for what seemed like an anxious eternity. With a look of stricken helplessness, he nodded almost imperceptibly and stepped back.

“Take Toby outside,” she said, turning to face Isaac.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Isaac came toward them, no doubt to throw Tyler out of his house, as Beth stepped forward. “Don’t touch him,” she said.

“He’s got no right to be here. I want him out.” Beth stood her ground as Isaac looked like he might bowl her over in an effort to get to Tyler. She put some force behind her voice. “Stop. You’re going to hurt Toby.”

Isaac paused long enough to shake his head. “Get him out.”

Beth yelled so Isaac would have no trouble hearing what she said next. “Isaac, if you want to hurt my family, you’ll have to go through me first.”

He halted in his tracks.

“Go ahead. I know you’ve been wanting to for a long time.”

Isaac stumbled back as if he’d been smacked in the forehead with a rock. “Wha . . . what did you say?”

She stood ramrod straight with her hands clenched at her sides. “But know this. If you strike me, I will never set foot in this house again.”

“No, Beth,” Tyler said, the panic in his voice slicing the air like a bitter frost.

She held up a hand to stop Tyler from doing what he surely was considering doing at that very moment.

Isaac backed against a chair behind him. “I would never hit you.”

“You’re mad at me. Probably madder than you’ve ever been. I know you want to lash out at someone, and it shouldn’t be Tyler. He’s done nothing to deserve it. I am the one who made you mad. If you think it will make you feel better, strike me and get it over with. I’m tired of being afraid of it.”