Huckleberry Christmas (16 page)

Beth’s ironclad resistance almost melted. She had a soft spot for anyone who adored Toby.

She took a deep breath. What did she think she was doing? The Christmas music and the hot chocolate must have weakened her resolve.

She had promised herself she wouldn’t let her heart be ambushed ever again, and here she stood, in the same place she had been four years ago, flirting and holding hands and making eyes at a boy. It must have been the miniature marshmallows that got to her. She loved miniature marshmallows.

A wall of warmth enveloped her as she walked into the great room. Mammi had spent hours stringing popcorn and cranberries to hang at the windows with the long evergreen branches cut from pines in the woods. She had knit ten bright red bows, which she used to tie off the evergreen at the window corners. It definitely looked like Christmas at the Helmuth house.

Dawdi sat in his recliner, and Mammi fumbled through the fridge. “I’ve got some leftover rice. I’ll cook up a batch of rice pudding while you sing to us.” A saucepan clattered loudly as she set it on the cookstove. She poured the rice into the pan and waved her hand in their direction. “Go ahead and sing. Don’t mind me.”

Beth would have decamped as far from Tyler as she could, but he held Toby, and she couldn’t very well abandon her son just to avoid Tyler. Tyler smiled at her while bouncing Toby on his hip. He seemed so natural, so content. He’d make a wonderful-gute father someday. But not Toby’s father.

Beth would have to renew her search for a wife for Tyler. He deserved to have a gute woman by his side and children he could care for.

Vernon decided on “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” and they sang all four verses.

That particular verse had always touched Beth. God’s gifts were given so quietly that many people didn’t even recognize blessings when they came.

She felt the familiar pang in her heart and folded her arms across her chest to keep the hurt from spilling out. She had seen nothing but sorrow for the last four years. Why hadn’t God taken care of her? Why hadn’t He stopped her from marrying Amos? Didn’t He love her? Didn’t He care how painful her marriage had been? Apparently He didn’t. He had forgotten her. She must look after herself.

“There’s another verse to that song,” Dawdi said. Without further fanfare, he began to sing, “
O little Inn of Bethlehem, how like we are to you. Our lives are crowded to the brim with this and that to do. We’re not unfriendly to the King, we mean well without doubt. We have no hostile feelings, we merely crowd Him out
.”

“A very gute message,” Erla said.

Dawdi waved his hand in the air. “Sing another.”

They sang “O Come All Ye Faithful,” “Hark the Herald Angels Sing,” and “It Came Upon the Midnight Clear,” and then Mammi, still busy in the kitchen, announced that the pudding wasn’t quite ready yet.

When they started “Jingle Bells,” Toby wanted to get down. Tyler set him on his feet, and he danced around the room as they sang all the verses they knew and Vernon shook his bells with untempered enthusiasm. Tyler laughed when Toby bent over, tucked his head, and did an unintentional somersault. He sat up, not quite sure how he’d ended up on his backside. The laughter bubbled amidst the music.

“The pudding is ready,” Mammi announced when they ended “Jingle Bells” with a loud “Hey!” Mammi stacked some plastic spoons and a tower of Styrofoam cups in the table. “Everybody get a cup and a spoon, and I will dish you some pudding.”

Beth sensed a bit of foot dragging as one by one the carolers lined up for their share of rice pudding. Mammi had a widespread reputation as a bad cook. No one wanted to hurt her feelings, but few people looked forward to eating one of Anna Helmuth’s concoctions.

Even Vernon, who apparently dreamed about food in his sleep, let several people go ahead of him. Was he hoping that if he stood at the back of the line, Mammi would run out of pudding before he got any?

Had Mammi passed on her cooking skills to Beth? Amos certainly would have said yes. She had never made him a meal he had enjoyed. Of course, Amos had always been at a loss for kind words, so she couldn’t be sure. Since leaving Indiana and Amos’s constant criticism, she had come to consider herself an adequate cook. Treva had liked it when she’d made cheese, and Tyler always devoured her cookies.

A lump stuck in her throat. Tyler devoured Mammi’s cooking too. His eating habits didn’t tell her anything.

Although she should have pulled back, she let Tyler take her hand and lead her to the pudding line.

“You go first, Tyler,” one of the young people said. “We know how you love rice pudding.”

Tyler grinned at Beth and picked up two cups from the table. “Fill them to the brim, Anna,” he said. “I’m star ving.”

With her eyes sparkling in delight, Mammi shook her finger. “Now, Tyler. You must save some for everybody else.”

From the back of the line, Aaron Troyer called out. “Don’t worry about us, Anna. Tyler’s worked hard today to organize this hayride. He deserves the biggest helping.”

Truly pleased that Tyler wanted two helpings, Mammi shrugged and filled his cups. Beth glanced at Mammi’s pot. Tyler’s selflessness wouldn’t do much to help the rest of the carolers, even those in the back of the line. Mammi had made a generous batch.

Beth held out her cup, and Mammi poured her a ladleful of runny white pudding. At least it wasn’t so thick that it would stick in her throat on the way down. No matter how unappetizing, runny was better. Beth studied her cup. The pudding had some sort of wrinkly red fruit floating in it. They might have been cranberries, but she decided it would be better not to ask.

They sat down on the sofa, and Tyler set one of his cups on the end table. Toby skipped to Tyler and wanted to be picked up. Tyler scooped Toby onto his lap and offered him a spoonful of pudding. Toby opened his mouth and let Tyler feed him.

To Beth’s surprise, Toby didn’t spit the rice all over Tyler’s shirt. “More,” he said, smacking his lips and grinning with his whole face.

Tyler put the cup to Toby’s lips and let him drink the pudding like a glass of milk. Toby gulped the pudding like it was his first nourishment in days.

Beth looked into her cup as if it held a perilous mystery. Doubtfully, she dipped her spoon and licked it. It wasn’t horrible. In fact, Mammi’s rice pudding tasted like nothing more than warm milk and sugar, with occasional lumps of rice and cranberries for texture. As long as she swallowed the cranberries whole, she could eat without cringing. Thankfully, no one would end up with a stomachache for having eaten it, and Tyler would not have to suffer for his thoughtfulness.

The other carolers discovered that the pudding was edible, and Beth could almost hear an audible sigh of relief as everyone sat down to enjoy their rice drink. Most abandoned their spoons and drank it down. Vernon went so far as to slurp, which was a sure sign that he enjoyed it.

Mammi handed Dawdi a cup, and he took a hearty bite. “This is the best rice pudding ever, Banannie. The queen of Africa never ate this well.”

Toby drank Tyler’s whole cup. “He likes it,” Tyler said, glancing at Beth cautiously. She hadn’t said a word since they’d arrived. The thoughts tumbled around in her head like pebbles in a swollen river. If she could stop her brain from spinning in circles, she might be able to make sense out of the confusion.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Jah. A little tired yet.”

She could see by the set of his jaw and the agitation in his expression that he was already trying to figure out a way to make things easier for her without offending her. Part of her wanted to push him away and scold him for his annoying interference. A bigger part of her wanted to dissolve into his embrace and thank him for caring.

He looked too serious. The urge to kiss that frown right off his lips grew too great. She’d have to make him smile or else go crazy thinking about it. “Dodging Vernon is exhausting,” she whispered.

He quirked the corners of his lips upward. “Unfortunately, it might be our turn to sit with him on the ride back. We can only ask so much of Erla and Menno.”

“I won’t be sitting with him at all. I’m already home.”

Tyler looked sincerely disappointed as he bounced Toby on his knee. “I was afraid you’d realize that. I wanted one more chance to cuddle with you.”

Beth turned her face away and willed herself not to blush. “You heard Vernon.
No holding hands on the hayride.
If I were going back, we’d have to follow the rules.”

He chuckled. “Says who?”

Mammi walked around the room with a garbage bag in her hands, collecting cups and spoons.

“Denki,” Tyler said as both his empty cups went into her bag.

Anna handed the bag to Felty and took Toby from Tyler’s arms. “Tyler, there is something I want you and Beth to see in the barn.”

“Should I come back tomorrow when it’s light? We won’t be able to see much out there tonight.”

Mammi smiled sweetly. “You’ll be able to see it well enough. Go out there and look up to the rafters.”

“Are you sure? It’s mighty cold yet.”

“The barn is nice and warm. It will only take a minute.” When neither Tyler nor Beth made any indication of moving, Mammi pursed her lips. “Please? It would make me so happy.”

Tyler nodded. He would bend over backwards to make Mammi happy. He stood and offered Beth his hand. “Will you come?”

“What is this?” Beth asked.

Mammi took a tissue from her pocket and dabbed at Toby’s face. “Dawdi and I did something special in the barn.”

Beth pulled her gloves from her pocket. “Okay, but I need to get Toby to bed.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Mammi said. “We’ll get him ready and say prayers, and you can kiss him good night when you return. Now hurry so the wagon doesn’t leave Tyler behind.”

Tyler and Beth threaded their way through the crowd of young people, even avoiding Vernon by taking the long way around the kitchen table. They stepped out into the night. Tyler closed the door, muffling the voices inside. The scents of hickory smoke and pine, two of Beth’s favorite Christmastime smells, hung in the crisp, frosty air.

Tyler lifted the glowing lantern from its peg on the porch and took her hand. The cold seemed to disperse from the very air. Beth shivered with the pleasure of his warmth. When had Tyler wheedled his way into her heart like this, as if he belonged there, as if no one could fill the emptiness but him?

Her heart pounded like a drum in her chest, demanding her full attention. Did she love him? She could barely remember what giddy, head-over-heels love felt like.

She hesitated briefly as they stepped off the porch. At nineteen, she had thought she loved Amos. He had been charming and funny and given her a thrill every time he smiled at her. She couldn’t let herself get carried away like that with Tyler—even when she had no desire to be sensible. His hand felt so gute.

They trudged to the barn, the snow crunching beneath their feet. The faint strains of another carol came from the house. Dawdi must have asked for one more song.

“What do you think your mammi wants us to discover?” Tyler said.

“I don’t know, but I’m afraid my fingers will freeze before we find what we’re looking for.”

In response, Tyler wrapped his arm around her. “I’ll keep you warm.”

In the dimmest corner of her mind, she thought about resisting him but didn’t have the will or the desire to do it. “Denki for humoring my mammi. She gets her heart set on things.”

“I don’t mind. It lets me spend a few more minutes with you. After this, all I get is Vernon Schmucker.”

Beth giggled. “I’m envious. I won’t get to see him again until the next gathering. That could be weeks away.”

The well-greased hinges of the barn door opened quietly, and they heard the horse stir in the darkness. Tyler hung the lantern on a peg. The shadows danced in every direction around them as they gazed around the musty barn.

“See anything out of the ordinary?” Tyler asked.

“Mammi said to look up.”

They turned their eyes upward at the same time. In Dawdi’s barn, the rafters were only three feet over their heads.

A small sprig of green with white berries dangled from a string above them.

“Is that what Mammi wants us to see?” Beth said.

Tyler kept his gaze on that sprig as if it might disappear if he looked away. “Oh,” he said.

“What is it?”

He slowly shifted his gaze to her face. “It’s mistletoe.”

“Why would Mammi hang mistletoe in the barn? It’s not even an Amish tradition.” Beth’s puzzlement didn’t last very long. Mammi had a full bag of tricks, and she obviously wasn’t above using any and all of them. Dear Mammi proved more persistent than a spider in a waterspout. Beth almost laughed out loud until she noticed how intently Tyler stared at her. Or more specifically, her lips. He obviously took the mistletoe very seriously.

She fell silent as he moved closer. Close enough that, in the still of the barn, Beth could almost hear his heartbeat. “I wish your mammi hadn’t done that,” he whispered with that deep, smooth-as-chocolate voice, and the barn suddenly felt twenty degrees warmer. “I’ve resisted all evening, but now that the idea is in my head, I don’t think I’m strong enough to put it out.” He brushed his thumb down her cheek. “Please, can I kiss you?”

She should have refused him. He’d been entirely too fresh with her already. But when his thumb moved slowly along her jawline and then traced the outline of her lips, she lost the power of rational thought. “Uh-huh” was all she could muster.

Tyler wrapped his arms around her as if to protect her from harm. Then he lowered his head and brought his lips down on hers. A sigh bubbled up in her throat. Even though the temperature sat well below freezing, Tyler’s kiss felt like a rare spring day when Beth could warm herself by turning her face to the sun. She almost sensed the balmy air caressing her cheeks while birdsong filled the meadow and wildflowers swayed in the breeze. She reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. This was where she wanted to stay forever.