Huckleberry Christmas (13 page)

He stumbled backwards as if she had shoved him. “I don’t think you’re stupid,” he stuttered.

“Leave me alone, Tyler.” She turned away and haltingly made her way to the shore. He reached out a hand. She recoiled. “Don’t touch me. Don’t follow me, don’t help me with my boots, don’t even think about driving me home. I’ll find my own way.”

He stood frozen to the ice and watched her go.

She knew she’d have to arise mighty early. Tyler got up hours before the sun.

But it didn’t matter. She hadn’t been able to sleep anyway, so getting up at 4
AM
. wasn’t much of a hardship. She slipped her dress and apron and sweatpants on, kissed Toby while he slept, and tiptoed out the front door.

Her fingers already felt half-frozen as she clumsily saddled the horse. The buggy might not make it down the hill in all this snow, and she had to get to Yoders’ immediately. She’d never felt such a profound sense of urgency.

The ride to Tyler’s took almost half an hour. She’d covered every part of her body that might be exposed to the frosty air, except for the open folds of her scarf she left for her eyes. By the time the Yoders’ two silos came into sight, she shivered with cold. A three-story white barn housed the family dairy. Two thick silos stood next to the barn, and snow-covered pastures surrounded it on three sides. The barn was built into a rise of earth that made up two walls of the first level.

Beth trudged up the incline through the snow and cracked open a door on the second floor of the barn. The loud hisses and clicks of the several milking machines attacked her ears. She slipped into the barn and closed the door behind her. It wasn’t toasty—ice formed on the cement floor on the edges closest to the outside walls—but it was at least twenty degrees warmer than outside.

A dozen cows stood patiently while Tyler, his parents, and his brother tended to them in the well-coordinated effort of milking. Everyone seemed to have a job and few words were spoken, which turned out to be a good thing because the noise of the milking machines drowned out normal speech. Tyler and his brother Joe washed teats and hooked the animals up to milking machines. His mamm kept an eye on the knobs connected to the tubes and pipes running across the ceiling, while his dat sprayed the floor using a high-pressure sprayer.

Beth stepped timidly toward Tyler’s mamm where she sat on her stool checking gauges. She caught sight of Beth, and a frown flitted across her face before giving way to a reserved half smile. “Nice to see you, Beth,” she yelled above the din of the machines. “I hope you are feeling better today.”

It was a good guess that Tyler’s mamm had heard about Beth’s blow-up at the pond yesterday, although his mamm most likely hadn’t heard the news from Tyler. He never said anything bad about anybody, even when they deserved it. Even when they’d had no call to attack him.

By this time, Tyler’s dat, Joe, and Tyler were all looking Beth’s way. Joe and the bishop appeared mildly curious. Tyler acted as if he were torn between sprinting out the back door and ignoring Beth’s presence altogether. His expression mirrored the one he’d worn on the first day she’d met him. Serious and contrite. Then, like yesterday, she had jumped down his throat for something he hadn’t deserved.

She raised her voice. “I want to talk to Tyler, but I can wait until he’s finished milking.”

“That’ll be near two hours,” his mamm replied. “Better pull him away now.”

Beth motioned for Tyler. He yelled something to Joe and handed his brother the milker he held.

As if he were going to a funeral, Tyler walked toward her with his earplugs still stuck in his ears. She kept her gaze glued to his face. He didn’t seem angry.

Of course he wasn’t angry with her, but he looked extremely unhappy.

He held up his arms as if to defend himself from an attack. He had to raise his voice to be heard above the noise of the machines. “I promise I only wrote one letter.”

She couldn’t have felt any worse if she’d been the mud on his boots. He wouldn’t look her in the eye, and his face was etched with weariness. She’d hurt him badly this time. Feeling a hitch in her throat, she made a valiant effort to keep her voice steady. “No, Tyler. I didn’t come here to . . .”

Furrowing his brow, he took a quick step forward and grabbed her hand. “Are you okay?”

She nodded but couldn’t seem to form the words. She’d given him a good tongue-lashing, and he worried about her?

“Let’s go outside,” he yelled.

The other three members of the family stared unapologetically as Tyler escorted Beth out the door. They probably feared for his safety.

The door slammed behind them. Tyler blew into his hands. “Is it too cold out here for you? We could go to the house.”

Shaking her head, Beth leaned against the side of the barn and slipped Tyler’s plastic sunflower from beneath her coat. She handed it to him. “You can tear the petals off and throw them at me if you want.”

He gave her a look of surprise; then the shadow of a grin played at his lips. “Why would I ever want to do that?”

“Because I was rude and mean, and I practically jumped down your throat and pulled your tonsils out with my bare hands.”

“I’m glad you didn’t really do that.”

A sigh came from deep in her chest. “Yesterday, I acted horrible. Really horrible, and I’m sorry.”

He lifted his brows. “You’re not mad at me?”

“Of course I’m mad at you, but there is no excuse for my behavior. I’ve never been so ugly before.” Why did the waterworks choose just now to turn on? Tears flowed down her cheeks, and she sniffed hard in a futile attempt to yank them back.

With the lines deepening around his mouth, he stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out a crisp white handkerchief.

She took it, blew her nose soundly, and mopped up her face. She tried to give it back, but he shook his head. “Consider it yours.”

“I’m not usually a crier.”

Tyler folded his arms. “Don’t feel bad, Beth. I never should have sent that letter.”

She sniffled louder. “You didn’t mean any ill will by sending it. You definitely shouldn’t have done it, but I didn’t need to pounce on you like that.” Her voice caught. “I have a very bad temper.”

“It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

She dabbed at her nose. “Now you’re just being nice.”

“I’m not really all that nice.”

She hiccupped weakly. “Now you’re just being humble. I wouldn’t blame you one little bit if you steered clear of me permanently. I’ve given you nothing but trouble.”

He placed his hand on the wall of the barn a few inches above her head and leaned closer. “Can I come over tonight after milking?”

“What for?”

“Because if you think I’m going to steer clear of you, you’re crazy.”

A pleasant warmth tingled up her spine. “Well, yesterday, a lot of people probably thought I was crazy.”

“Can I come over?”

It was the least she could do after the way she’d treated him. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Jah, come over. Toby needs someone to play catch with him.”

Tyler bloomed into a full-blown, this-is-the-best-day-of-my-life smile. “Okay.”

She loved seeing him so happy, and Tyler, it seemed, couldn’t be truly happy unless he helped someone. “But don’t ever write to Isaac again.”

“Never, ever again in a million years unless I want you to rip my tonsils out.”

“Just so we understand one another.”

“I’m really sorry I wrote that letter.”

She tapped the sunflower against his chest. “Stop it right now, Tyler. Just stop.”

He shook his head in resignation and chuckled.

A movement behind Tyler caught her eye. Erla Glick and Menno Petersheim tromped through the snow toward the barn. Erla waved enthusiastically. “Yoohoo.”

Didn’t Erla know that Tyler needed to do the milking? He didn’t have time for a social call.

Tyler cleared his throat and stepped away from Beth. His eyes darted from Erla to Beth, and he fingered the buttons of his coat as if this meeting were the most awkward moment of his life.

“Hi, Beth,” Erla said, her voice laced with high-fructose corn syrup. “I hope everything is okay after yesterday.”

Beth wanted to growl. One very public display of her atrocious temper, and everybody suddenly worried about her sanity. Well, she was just fine, thank you very much. “Everything is gute.”

Erla smiled as if she were thinking about a funny joke. “Look what we brought.” From the grocery sack in Menno’s hand, she produced a clear plastic bag full of a white powder. “It’s starter culture. We’re going to try cheddar cheese next.”

“I’ve got to finish with the milking first.”

“We know,” Erla said. “Menno and I wanted to drop it off. He’s on his way to work, and I’m riding with him into town. We hired a driver and everything. But we maybe wanted to take a look at that cheese we made last week. Do you have time to show us?”

“Oh, jah. It’s in our cellar. I made a cave for it,” Tyler said, motioning toward the house. “
Cum
. We can turn it.”

Beth felt as if she were attending the meeting for a club that she didn’t belong to. Cheese-making was something Tyler and Erla shared, and she had no part in it. Her heart sank as she eyed Tyler and then Erla. Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe Erla was interested in Tyler.

She folded her arms as she began to feel extraordinarily dull. She’d gotten up too early. The lack of sleep had caught up to her.

“Come on, Beth,” Tyler said. “You can see what we’ve been up to.”

“No,” she said, more abruptly than she intended. She couldn’t stomach the idea of sitting silently in the corner with Menno while Erla and Tyler laughed about their adventures with cheese curd. “I must get home to Toby.”

Tyler gazed at her doubtfully. “Are you sure? It will be fun.”

“I’m sure.” Beth practically swaddled her face in her scarf before she marched down the little hill as fast as she could go.

“Beth,” Tyler called, but she ignored him and made a beeline for her horse. She’d done what she had come here to do. No need to linger.

She didn’t care for cheese all that much.

“Get out of my kitchen,” Mamm said. “You’re fidgeting.”

Tyler quit pacing and folded his arms across his chest. “Am I? Sorry.”

“Tell me again why you like this girl.”

Tyler grinned. He felt alive with electric energy just thinking about Beth. “There are too many reasons to count.”

“Lydia says she yelled at you something wonderful.”

“She’s feisty, Mamm. I did something I shouldn’t have, and she took me to task for it.”

“If she wants to win your love, she shouldn’t yell at you.”

He sank to a chair at the table as all his enthusiasm seemed to drain away. “She doesn’t.”

“Doesn’t yell at you?”

“Doesn’t want my love.” He felt rotten saying it. Was he hitting his head against the wall?

Mamm narrowed her eyes and propped her hands on her hips. “So, you’re chasing a girl who doesn’t want to be caught?”

“I don’t know.”

She sat next to him and placed her hand over his arm. “I refuse to watch you get hurt like last time.”

“It was never right between me and Lily.”

“This isn’t Lily,” Mamm said. “You’re crazy about this one.”

“You don’t think I was crazy about Lily?”

“You liked her. She would have made a gute wife.” Mamm waggled her finger at him. “But this one? This one makes my boy, who only smiles on special occasions, smile for no reason at all. This one’s got you staring off into space when you should be paying attention to what your mamm tells you.”

“It’s almost impossible to think about anything else.”

“So what’s wrong with her?”

“Nothing.”

“Any girl would have to be blind or out of her mind not to fall head over heels for you, Tyler Yoder.”

“You’re my mother. Of course you believe that.”

“I have eyes, don’t I? I swear a dozen girls breathed a sigh of relief when Lily married Aden instead of you.”

Tyler traced his finger along a wavy crack in the table. “She’s afraid.”

“Of you?”

“Of getting married,” Tyler said. Saying it out loud made that particular obstacle seem even bigger.

Mamm frowned. “I’ve heard the rumors. At the wedding, Amos Hostetler acted a little too cocksure, if you ask me.”

“He wasn’t kind to Beth, that’s for certain. And since we don’t allow divorce, she was stuck with him for life. How can she trust anyone after something like that?”

“She must trust in God, without regard to you or anybody else. People will let you down. Only God’s love is certain.”

Tyler shifted in his chair. “My love is certain.”

Mamm placed her hand on his cheek. “If she rejects you, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to smile again. I can’t stand to see my children get hurt.”

Tyler took her hand from his face and squeezed it. “I’m not giving up on Beth, even if it hurts worse than anything.”

Mamm thought about that for a minute. “Then I’m going to have to see what I can do to make sure Beth falls in love with you, because my boy is not getting hurt.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Oh, I know how to meddle in other people’s lives.”

Tyler groaned. “Promise me you won’t do anything embarrassing.”

Mamm’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “What do you consider embarrassing?”

“Lawayne Burkholder’s mamm went to gatherings and asked girls to ride home with him.”

Mamm huffed derisively and pushed that suggestion away. “Too obvious.”

“She wrote out questions for Lawayne so he would have something to talk about with the girl he took home.”

“If you can’t talk to a girl by now, then I’m a failure as a mother.” She propped her elbows on the table. “Maybe I should sit by Beth at gmay. I could write your name on the back of her hand, like we used to do in primary school. I could make sugar cookies in the shape of your name and leave them on her front porch or sneak into her house at night and whisper nice things about you in her ear.”

“Oh, jah. That wouldn’t be embarrassing.”

They both stood when they heard the knock at the door. “She’s here,” Mamm said. “Time to put my plan into action.”

“Don’t even think about it, Mamm.”

She pulled a pen from the drawer. “Don’t worry. Beth won’t suspect a thing.” She scribbled on her palm. “Will she think I’m odd if I want to shake hands?” She opened her hand.

Tyler is a good catch
, she had written.

Tyler chuckled. “You are odd, Mamm. No escaping that.”

Tyler’s house was a split level, with the living room and kitchen upstairs and the bedrooms downstairs. He bounded down the steps, so happy to be seeing Beth he thought he might burst. The fact that he’d seen her every day this week did nothing to damper his excitement. If he could take Beth in with every breath, he would.

She carried a large canvas bag in one arm and Toby in the other. “Merry Christmas!” she said, beaming with enthusiasm. She had nice teeth. Tyler would have to put that on his very long list of things he liked about her.

He saw a little bit of Beth in Toby when the toddler smiled at him. “Mommy!” Toby squealed. With a grunt, he reached his mitten-covered hands out to Tyler.

Tyler took Toby and the bag from Beth. “Cum reu
.
It can’t be more than twenty degrees out there.”

She grinned. “Eighteen. I checked Dawdi’s thermometer before I left.”

After depositing Beth’s bag on the step, Tyler gave Toby a big smack on the cheek and pulled the beanie off his head. His curly hair stood on end, and his cheeks glowed like bright red Christmas ornaments.

“Hat,” Toby exclaimed.

Tyler smoothed Toby’s hair. “Hat. A new word.”

Beth shrugged off her coat. “He adds three or four every day. Although, he also calls Dawdi
hat
so I can’t be altogether sure he knows what it means.”

Beth helped Tyler with Toby’s coat and mittens, which she hung on the hook by the door. “Denki for letting me come. I want the cake to be a surprise, and I couldn’t go to my mamm’s house. She’s busy baking for the school program on Friday.”

“I’m glad you came, although I feel bad I’m not going to be any help. I don’t know how to boil water.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Well, if you remember, I’m not so good at taking what help is offered, so it’s probably just as well.”

Tyler headed up the stairs. “And yet I keep trying.”

Smiling, Beth picked up her bag and followed him. “You’re so annoyingly persistent that way.”

“I lie awake at night trying to come up with new ways to annoy you.”

Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “That is quite obvious.”

Grinning, Mamm stood in the kitchen with her fingers laced together in front of her, probably so the writing on her hand wouldn’t show. “Beth Hostetler. It’s so good to see you,” she gushed. “And I can’t believe how big Toby is getting.” Tyler decided not to point out that Mamm had seen Toby three days ago at gmay.

She took Toby from Tyler’s arms, and he settled into her embrace as if he recognized a seasoned mother when he saw one. “You are the cutest little guy,” she said, bouncing Toby on her hip. “Can he have a cookie?”

Beth nodded.

Mamm retrieved a cookie from the cookie jar and handed it to Toby, who stuffed half of it into his little mouth.

Tyler smiled to himself. Mamm was trying too hard, but her effort wasn’t overblown, so Beth probably didn’t even notice. Of course, she didn’t have to pretend with Toby. Mamm loved babies more than anything else in the world.

“Tyler tells me you’re making a cake for your mammi.”

“Jah, she turns eighty-three tomorrow. We’re having a party for her and Toby at the same time. Their birthdays are a day apart.”

“Toby is two yet?”

“Jah. It seems like he was born just yesterday.”

Mamm gestured in the direction of the cupboards, being careful to keep her palm safely from Beth’s view. Tyler had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. “Feel free to use anything in our kitchen. Tyler can show you where everything is.”

Beth lifted her bag. “I brought all my own ingredients so I wouldn’t impose.”

“You’re not imposing at all. It’s our pleasure. We’d love to see more of you around here.”

“Denki.”

“Tyler and his dat built this table for me, and you should see the bureau in my bedroom. Tyler built that himself. He’s such a gute boy, everything a mother could ask for in a son. He’ll make a fine husband someday.”

Tyler felt the need to intervene. Mamm was getting too close to proposing to Beth on his behalf. “Okay, thanks, Mamm. Beth better get started.”

Mamm tickled Toby’s chin. “Is he hungry?”

“No, he just ate breakfast.”

She put Toby down and took his hand. “Can I take him downstairs with me? It will be easier for the two of you if I keep him entertained while I make beds and start the laundry.”

“Okay,” said Beth. “That would be very nice. Oh, I almost forgot.” She pulled two multicolored potholders from her bag. “Mammi told me to be sure to give these to you.”

Mamm took them and set them on the counter. “How wonderful. Anna’s potholders are famous.”

Mamm and Toby walked out of the kitchen, with Toby’s hand securely in Mamm’s. Acting as if he were going on a great adventure, Toby waved to Tyler and his mamm. “Bye, bye.”

“Bye, bye, Toby.” Tyler sat at one of the stools at the counter. “What kind of cake are you making?”

“Pineapple upside-down cake. It’s Mammi’s favorite, but it’s kind of tricky. If you’re not careful, the whole thing can fall apart when you turn it upside-down. But a lot of sins can be covered by a mountain of whipped cream. Amos didn’t notice anything amiss if I buried my mistakes in whipped cream.”

Tyler attempted a carefree laugh. He didn’t want her to suspect that talk of Amos always made him angry enough to spit. She didn’t say much about Amos in their normal conversation so it was a good sign that she felt comfortable at least mentioning her late husband in Tyler’s presence.

“I would have preheated the oven, but Mamm suggested I wait so you could tell me the temperature you want,” he said.

“Let’s do about three hundred and fifty degrees. That should be perfect.”

“That’s one thing that always amazes me, how a gute cook can tell how hot she wants the oven just by guessing.”

“Guessing is not the sign of a gute cook. It’s the sign of a cook who doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

Chuckling, Tyler turned the dial on the LP gas oven. “I don’t even know how many degrees you need to bake a cake, so you’re still more skilled than I am.”

“Don’t make that conclusion until you see how the cake turns out.”

Tyler washed his hands. “While the oven heats up, do you want to take a look at the cheese I made yesterday?”

Beth’s face fell, and Tyler felt that pang of guilt he always experienced when he thought about Erla Glick and her schemes with Beth. In giving Beth the impression that there was more between him and Erla than there was, he felt he deceived her.

The mere mention of Erla seemed to put Beth in a sour mood. Was she jealous? He didn’t feel quite right toying with her feelings like that. If something he did upset Beth, he should quit, no matter how good of a plan Erla Glick thought it might be. Even if Tyler ended up finding the back door to Beth’s heart.

When Beth hesitated, Tyler said, “I made it all by myself.” He reached into a cupboard above the sink and pulled out four covered plastic containers. “These work pretty good as cheese caves,” he said.

He opened the first container and gasped.

Beth peeked into the bowl. “I don’t think it’s supposed to look like that.”

Tyler opened the other three containers. The mess inside each looked the same as the first. “It looks like an explosion of curds and whey,” he said, almost laughing at the disastrous result.

The corner of Beth’s mouth twitched. “Maybe it’s not so bad. You should taste it.”

“You taste it.”

She giggled. “I’m not touching it. I’d rather not be in the hospital for Christmas.”

“I was so proud of it.” Tyler stuck his finger into one of the containers and pushed the white chunks around. “I never should have tried cooking anything without close supervision.”

“I’m afraid even the hogs might not eat that. You probably cooked it too long, or it got too hot before you stirred it.”

He regarded Beth curiously. “You know how to make cheese?”

“It’s one thing I know how to make well. Treva refused to eat any cheese but mine.”

He slapped his forehead with his palm. “I’ve been wasting all this time with Erla when you could have been teaching me?”

She lowered her eyes. “I wouldn’t say you’ve wasted all that time.”

“I would.” He might as well be honest about it. “I’d rather spend my days with you and Toby than do anything else.”

An attractive blush tinted her cheeks even as the corners of her mouth drooped. He’d been too honest. She wasn’t ready for his confession of undying love.

“Erla is putting together goodie baskets to hand out when we go caroling to the shut-ins on Friday. I was in charge of the cheese. The baskets will be a failure.”

“I wouldn’t say failure. They’ll just be without cheese.”

A wonderful idea jumped into his head. He couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity if he had ruined the cheese on purpose. “Will you help me make more?”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Please. I really need your help.”

“This is a switch, you needing my help for a change.”

Tyler had the sudden, overwhelming urge to wrap her in his arms and tell her he desperately needed her help every day. He needed her help just to feel whole. He needed her to bring complete happiness into his life. Instead, he opted for an earnest gaze and a nod. “I’ll help you make the cake—”