How to Save a Life (2 page)

But things didn’t stay better for very long. I would work forty to fifty hours a week at the garage, and come home having to pick up the house, catch up on laundry and make dinner, you name it, I did it. Erin was home all day long and didn’t see the need in accomplishing chores that she knew I would do. I wasn’t your average twenty-two year old, I had more responsibility than most. While it didn’t bother me taking care of Hannah, I felt like our relationship was merely one-sided, my side being weighed down so heavily, at any moment the stress of it all would break me.

I was under the impression, that this whole marriage thing meant dual and equal partnership, but I could’ve been very wrong. I knew that’s what it meant to me. Hannah and I honestly would’ve been better off by ourselves.

Then Hannah turned three and was eligible for preschool. Erin stood by her theory that Hannah needed to go to interact with other children her age and I agreed. So three days a week, I brought Hannah to school on my way into work, and picked her up on my lunch hour and brought her home, while Erin did, whatever Erin did. I couldn’t tell you what she spent her time doing during the day and I guess I’ll never know.

Finally, getting out of bed, I went into our walk-in closet and dressed in my standard uniform of blue jeans that had seen better days, no matter how many times they’ve been washed you could never really rid them of the grease stains, and a navy blue t-shirt that had Jameson Auto stitched in white lettering on the pocket. Grabbing my dingy work boots, I sat on the bed to slip them on and lace them up.

Erin was still lying there, so I nudged her shoulder, “Erin, you need to get up and get ready, you have to take Hannah to school." If she didn’t get a move on, Hannah would end up missing Weekend Review, her favorite part of a Monday morning at school.

Rolling over and letting out a groan was her way of letting me know that she was irritated, “Why can’t you take Hannah?" she whined.

“Because I have to open the shop. Dad has to take Ma to the Doctor. I told you this once on Friday and twice yesterday." I reminded her numerous times, because I knew it would come down to this, it always did.

“I don’t know why your mom just can’t drive herself, she shouldn’t be so lazy."

Feeling my blood begin to boil, I released a deep sigh, there was no use getting into this with her right now, even though she was the one being lazy. I didn’t have the time, and I was already worried about my ma’s appointment and how everything was going to pan out. “Erin, she isn’t lazy, they are going to find out the results from her biopsy. They found a lump in her breast, remember? I think that constitutes both of them going and me opening up the shop for them don’t you?" I didn’t even hang around to listen for her response, it probably would’ve pissed me off further.

Getting Hannah’s breakfast situated, I poured my coffee out of the pot and into a travel mug. Black with two sugars, just the way I liked it. Erin finally made her appearance as I was heading out the door, I looked up at her to see her ignoring me, so I went to Hannah and gave her our signature goodbye, an Eskimo kiss, where we rubbed our noses together. It made her giggle every, single time.

“Bye, princess, you have a good day." I said while looking into those crystal baby blues.

Putting on another glorious grin, which always tugged at my heartstrings, she spoke in her little melodic voice, “Bye, Daddy. I love you!"

“I love you too, princess."

It was pushing past lunchtime, and I hadn’t heard from my dad about my ma’s appointment, being anxious was the name of the game. My mother had located a small mass in her breast about a month or so ago, so she had been going to various appointments to get mammograms, ultrasounds, and lastly, a biopsy. Today was the results of the biopsy and my mom was beside herself with worry.

My dad was also worried, but he hid it well. I could see the underlying tension in his body, and he just hadn’t been his usual self these past few weeks, the stress was starting to take its toll on him. My father was her rock, her knight in shining armor, she could lean on him for anything and he would always reassure her that everything would be ok. Taking things one step at a time and day by day, that’s all anyone could do. I envied the relationship they had, even after thirty years of marriage, they acted like two love crazed teenagers.

I was worried as well, but I had to be strong, and I had to be there for my father to lean on when he finally cracked. I had never seen my father shed a single tear or ever let worry or stress get the best of him, but I knew his time was coming. No one could let all of that fester within yourself without ultimately bursting at one point or another.

And the fact that Erin didn’t show one ounce of sympathy, just proved how ill-fitted we were for each other. Everything was always about Erin. I even had to take a break from fixing an air conditioner to make sure she still remembered to pick up Hannah. She was sleeping when I called, but at least I could take worrying about Hannah getting picked up from school off of my list now. I needed to have a sit down talk with Erin and see where she thought our relationship was headed, I couldn’t deal being in a one-sided, loveless marriage for much longer; Hannah needed better stability in her life.

I went back to work, fixing the stubborn air conditioner in a car that had seen the inside of this shop way too many times. The poor thing needed to be put to rest, but the owner was adamant on keeping it running, so who was I to argue? I would do everything in my power to keep this vehicle on the road. But thoughts of my ma were in the forefront of my mind, which made concentrating on these damn parts ten times harder.

Thirty more minutes had passed before the phone inside of the office started ringing. I looked up from my position underneath the dashboard of the old Chevy, willing the news on the other end of the line to be a good message coming from my father. I was slow to react, but I finally left my place from within the car to go answer the ringing contraption.

I tried to wipe the grease off of my hands as best I could with an old shop rag, and had to steady my shaking hand before I picked up the receiver. I just had the distinct feeling that whatever was on the other end wasn’t going to be along the lines of good news.

What I wasn’t expecting was it to be Hannah’s school, informing me of a terrible accident involving my entire heart, my entire life. As the receiver slipped from my grasp and onto the floor, I’ll be damned if I didn’t feel as if it were my fault.

I changed my entire life, because of that one phone call that could’ve been prevented if I had chosen to do things differently.

Sheridan

Present Day

Straining to open my eyes, the torturous pounding of my temples prevented my eyes from focusing. Trying to blink away the remnants of sleep, all I could see was white. Plain white walls and a white ceiling.

Where was I?

I tried to lift my head up off of the flat uncomfortable pillow in which it was resting on. Once I was able to raise it a fraction of an inch, my muscles screamed out in agony, that was when I noticed who was sitting in the chair towards the foot of my bed. A menacing scowl on his face as he stared daggers my way while his hands rested in his lap. I could just see the anger and hatred he felt towards me, dripping from his pores. He unclasped his hands and braced the arms of the chair as he pushed himself up to a standing position.

I warily watched his controlled movements, as he shuffled towards the head of my bed. My fingers dug into my blankets, bracing myself for the unknown. I never knew when or what would occur.

The closer he came, the faster my heart would beat.

Thump, thump, thump.

I had absolutely nowhere to go, I could only pray that he took it easy on me this time.

He slowly crept his face down to where his eyes were level with mine, I could see the fire burning in them down to the very depths of his soul. His gaze was so menacing, that if looks could actually kill, I would already be ten feet under.

Opening his mouth to no doubt give me one of his signature tongue lashings, I smelled the distinct smell of tequila, his liquor of choice. He was never nice to me anyways, but one would think as much as he drank it would affect his abilities and motor skills. I guess he had built up a tolerance to the stuff because if anything it made him meaner. And no one could ever tell him no. But it didn’t used to be like this, alcohol was what made him into the monster he was today. One taste and he was hooked and there went my freedom, my happiness, and my life.

“Did you think you could actually run from me, Sheridan? Did you think that I wouldn’t find you?" He moved even closer to where I had to close my eyes because he was invading my personal space, and putting me on the verge of a panic attack, which would only make things worse. He barked out, “Do you honestly think I’m that fucking stupid, Sheridan?"

“Nooo…no, sir," I stuttered. I always stuttered whenever he got like this. My entire thought logic went out the window and I was unable to form full, complete sentences, when normally I was a fairly intelligent individual who could hold my own in a conversation. That was my old life though, that was back in high school when I was carefree, a member of the band and the Captain of the Debate Team. Now, whenever he was around, he made me so scared and nervous that I would forget how to move and how to even breathe, and I didn’t mean that in a good way.

I felt myself begin to thrash around in hopes he would just leave me alone for one day, my body ached and I didn’t need the extra added abuse. Perhaps he would take pity on me. “Leave me alone, please." I heard myself scream.

Feeling two sets of hands wrap around my shoulders, my body registered the unwelcome feeling and began its process of shutting down. It was what I did during a beating or whatever he planned to do to me on that particular day. I would move into my inner comfort zone where nothing and no one could harm me, it was my inner protection, and completely tune out everything around me, it was safer that way. I didn’t have to hear his onslaught of criticism regarding my body that he deemed ‘his.’ I was his slave, he was my master and how I should treat him as such. If he told me to open my legs, that I better do it, or I was in for a world of hurt, even more so than would occur if I just obeyed his every command. I didn’t know what passionate sex or love making was anymore. Once upon a time there was a time and place when I enjoyed it, but now it was just a command that I needed to obey in order to live to see another day. I didn’t know whether he was capable of murder, but he had come close several times in the years before.

“Sheridan," I heard a deep voice say, but this wasn’t
his
voice. This voice was gentle and laced with concern and made me want to open my eyes. I fought my hardest to come out of personal protection mode so I could see who was so concerned with my well-being. “Sheridan, wake up. You’re having a bad dream." I heard that serene voice say again.

I tried to catch my breath as I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful pair of hazel eyes staring back at me. I felt as if I could’ve just openly stared into them for the remainder of the day. I, unfortunately, had to blink which lost the intense connection between the other set of eyes. I looked around only to end up having everything from the previous day come back to me.

Me leaving my home outside Atlanta to try and start a new life for myself. Getting into an accident by a drunk driver in a small Podunk town, which led me to why I was currently lying in a bed in the hospital with a broken foot and my ribs screaming at me from the pain. And the man who was calling my name was still standing by my bedside; the man who I didn’t know why he was being so nice to me; the man with sadness written all over his entire face; the man with the beautiful eyes, Mike Jameson.

“Sheridan are you alright?" he asked, his eyes roaming the entire length of my body.

“Uh yes," I stated, using the remote to raise the hospital bed to where I could sit up a little better, “I’m fine, thank you. Must have been a bad dream, no big deal." I was hoping he would take my nonchalance about the dream and move on.