How to Save a Life (9 page)

“Whoever that is better have a damn good reason for turning down my song during the best part," I heard Brock’s muffled words before I saw him as he was laying on a creeper nestled up underneath a newer Ford Fusion. He used his legs to roll himself out from beneath the car and the instant he saw me, the scowl he had on his face disappeared.

“What if I would’ve been a customer?" I asked. Even though Brock was the manager, Ray still owned the garage and he wouldn’t take that shit from anyone even if Brock was his son.

“I knew it was you. I don’t know anyone else who has a dopey ass walk. You shuffle your feet or some shit, it can be heard over the stereo, which wasn’t
that
loud." He slid back under the car on the creeper, “Why don’t you make yourself useful and hand me an Allen wrench."

I walked over to the Industrial Craftsman tool chest and retrieved the tool requested and ‘shuffled’ my way back, handing him the wrench.

I decided to lean against Sheriff Mitchell’s ’05 Monte Carlo SS. It wasn’t anywhere close to being new and it had some issues, but I absolutely loved its sleek black features.

“So what brings you here?" Brock asked.

“What do you mean? I come here all the time. I was going to see if you needed a hand with anything."

I heard him say, “Hmm," before he pulled himself back out from underneath the car he was working on and raised up into a seated position, resting his arms on his bent knees, spinning the wrench in his hands.

“I know you come here to work and that was my first initial thought that crossed my mind until I saw the guilty look on your face. You may not know or admit it, but you need to talk more than you need to work."

That was just like Brock, he got straight to the point. No beating around the bush.

I lifted my hat up off of my head and brushed my hand over my hair before barely setting it back on my head, the bill pointing towards the sky.

“I just got to thinking about my Ma and then that led to thinking about Hannah. Having Sheridan stay with me is just letting all my pent up emotions run wild."

Brock knew everything there was to know about Erin and Hannah. One night after we had put a restored engine into an old pickup truck, which was a bitch of a task, we cracked open a few beers and then he broke out the tequila. It started being guzzled down freely and the words just started falling out of my mouth. Before I had a chance to reel them back in, the entire story had already been told.

Would I have told Brock my past without the copious amounts of free flowing alcohol that was coursing through my bloodstream, I couldn’t really say one way or the other.

“Ok, let me get this straight. You have an attraction to Sheridan, yes?" I hesitated for only a brief moment before I reluctantly nodded my head. He continued on, “So you don’t want to act on that attraction, because…" He shrugged his shoulders, “You feel remorse because of Erin?"

“Remorse for Erin? Absolutely not… Fuck that." I took a defensive stance, “I just can’t see myself falling in love with another woman only to be devastated in the most horrendous of ways. And I won’t ever have any more children. I refuse to go through that ever again. I don’t think my heart could take it."

“Who said you had to fall in love with her?"

He was right, but
Sheridan wasn’t a woman who you didn’t fall in love with
, I thought to myself.

“Listen," he got up from his spot on the ground, took the grease rag out of his back pocket and began trying to wipe off some of the excess grease, which we both knew was a lost cause.

The tone that his voice took, I knew shit was about to get real.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest as an attempt to brace myself not only mentally but physically for whatever backlash he was about to bestow upon me.

“Ok, here it goes. You and I have been friends for quite a while now right?" He was waiting for visible confirmation, so I lightly nodded my head, urging him to continue and get this over with. “During that entire time, I have
never
seen you happy. You may think you are fooling people into believing that you are, but you don’t fool me. Don’t you think you deserve to be happy?"

He paused long enough that I thought he was finished, which I supposed was just wishful thinking, because the worst was yet to come.

“Look, I get it man, really I do. If anything ever happened to Blake, I…I don’t know what I would do. And just thinking about it, fucks me up, man. But you have been wallowing in your self-guilt for far too long. It wasn’t your fault, she was with her
mom.
Albeit, Erin was a poor excuse for a mother, but you didn’t know that absolutely no instinct would kick in during the event of a crisis situation. You tried having the world balance on your shoulders and it was too much, you shouldn’t have had to do everything alone. A marriage is an equal partnership, most women aren’t like Erin. Believe me, if Tessa was, we wouldn’t be together. Life is too short to always dwell on the past, I’m not saying forget Hannah, because you will never be able to and you shouldn’t. What I am saying is try to move past everything, open yourself up to Sheridan, and get to know her. In the end, it may surprise you and she may be your happily ever after, because Erin sure as hell wasn’t. And if anyone would know it would be you, that life is too short. Hannah would want you to live."

He went to retrieve another tool from the tool chest before he went back into his place underneath the Ford Fusion. I sat there in silence for what seemed like forever, really thinking about what he had to say. I did have to balance everything on my shoulders, because if I didn’t, absolutely nothing would’ve gotten done. I was basically the mother and the father in this situation, and I let Erin get away with far too much. But what was to say that the same thing wouldn’t have happened if Erin and I weren’t together. I’d been to several therapists and it always seemed like a waste of time and money to me, when all along I should’ve been listening to others around me. I still needed to think about opening myself up to Sheridan, it would be a giant step for me, but one I was leaning towards taking.

I spoke up finally, “When the fuck did we become women, talking about our feelings and shit?" I needed a little humor to lighten up the mood.

He hollered from underneath the car, “I don’t know, but don’t tell my wife, she would expect me to be in touch with my feelings like this all the time."

Sheridan

I was sitting on the couch with my legs perched up in front of me and my arms wrapped around them when Mike came in. He left in such a hurry earlier, I didn’t know if I had said or done something wrong. We seemed to be getting along a little better, but then I had to bring my smart aleck self out. That was something I used to get in trouble by Pate for, but I had managed to keep it in check, and evidently with Mike all bets were off. I couldn’t seem to keep my smart ass comments to myself.

Roseanne
was still playing on the TV, I was really caught up in the old episodes. It gave me back a sense of life before the railroad collision also known as Pate came into the picture. Sadie immediately ran to his side and I just looked up into his eyes without saying anything at all. I wanted him to have the first word to judge what his mood was like.

“Hey," he breathed out still holding my eyes. He turned to look at the TV, “Still watching this, huh?"

“I’m addicted now, and plus there wasn’t anything else on to watch," not that I really took the time to look, but he didn’t need to know that.

Cue the awkward silence.

He perked up and snapped his fingers, “I just talked to my buddy Brock down at the garage I work at. He said that Sheriff Mitchell is wanting to sell his 2005 Chevy Monte Carlo, he’s trying to get everything situated around here so he and his wife can move up to Virginia to help out his sick sister in law. It now needs a new transmission and a few other minor things, but I think it would probably be easier if I rebuilt it, not to mention much cheaper. Have you talked to the insurance company yet?"

Cue my dumbfounded expression.

“Why are you being so nice to me?" I didn’t mean to speak out what I was thinking, but it was too late to take it back now.

He crossed his arms over his chest and widened his stance, which made my lady parts scream with lust. By him standing like that, it made his muscles in his forearms protrude out, and I was ready to beg for him to wrap those meaty arms around me as he has done before.

Where the hell was all this coming from?

He leaned an ear forward, “I’m sorry?" It wasn’t an apology, he was wanting me to further explain.

I kind of shrank back into the couch before I began explaining, “I just… You don’t know me
at all
and here you are looking for a new vehicle for me, offering me to stay in your house, eating your food," I pointed towards the TV, “watching your TV Sometimes you act like you’d rather I not be here at all and other times you are just so nice to me, I was just wondering why."

I explained my reasoning as best as I could and I hoped he understood where I was coming from.

He uncrossed his arms from where they were perched on his rock hard chest and continued to glare at me. Apparently I didn’t say the right thing and he was pissed, I could see the fire flaring in his eyes from my spot on the couch several feet away from him.

“You know what, stay here as long as you need to, but stay the fuck out of my way. Who are you to question why I’m trying to be hospitable, the least you could say is thank you."

And with his parting words he stormed off out of the living room and went towards the kitchen. “Sadie, come!" he screamed. Then mere seconds later I heard the back door slam.

What do I do now?

I didn’t mean for him to take offense, I just wanted to know why he was being so nice to me because many people in recent years hadn’t. I’d forgotten what it was like to have decent human beings in my life aside from my parents of course.

I felt the tears begin welling in my eyes as I was just basically scolded like a misbehaving child. I thought I had gotten away from feeling like this. I would stay because I really needed to watch my money and I still hadn’t called the insurance company; that would be the first thing on my to-do list for tomorrow.

I would somehow show Mike how gracious I was for him letting me stay here. He wouldn’t have to lift a finger while he was at home to cook or clean, but I would respect his wishes in staying pretty much out of sight.

Mike

It was a cool and dreary day, the sun had ceased to exist. It looked like at any moment the sky would open up and soak everything in a torrential downpour.

Mother Nature was pretty much matching my mood as of late. I was in a total funk and didn’t know the first thing about how to get out of it.

Sheridan did what I reluctantly said and stayed out of my way for the most part. We passed each other going to the bathroom every so often, but she wouldn’t even look at me. I was worn out from working all the time, I put in extra hours at the station and when I wasn’t there, I was drowning myself in vehicle parts, just to keep out of sight.

I honestly didn’t know how to fix whatever ‘relationship’ we had and I was actually surprised that she was sticking around.

I walked into the garage only to roll my eyes at the odd song choice for Brock to be listening to blaring from the speakers. I didn’t want to be bothered, so I just left the volume where it was, even if it was “Can’t Touch This" by MC Hammer.

I grabbed a slightly used shop rag, which meant it didn’t have as much grease caked on it as the others, and shoved it into my back pocket. You never knew what would occur being underneath the hood of a vehicle. And I walked over to Sheridan’s car which had pretty much taken up residence in a bay within the garage.

She had finally received the insurance check, which was more than what the car was being sold for. So in the end she’ll have money left over out of the deal. She’d been leaving money on my kitchen counter for when I went grocery shopping, but I never used it. I invited her to stay at my house, I wasn’t about to make her pay for anything.