How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (16 page)

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“I cannot overstate what becoming multiorgasmic again has done for me. Within less than two months I went from being extremely uncertain about the whole thing to being able to have two ‘100-percent orgasms’—one without an ejaculation and one with—whenever I chose to do so. Becoming multiorgasmic has given me back my sexual confidence, and a sense of myself that is hard to put in words. Paula teases me about it all the time. She says that I’m a different person—a person she wants to have sex with a lot more often.”

Charles’s Story

Charles competes every year in a number of marathons and biathlons. Being a serious athlete, he was prepared to build up his techniques the same way an athlete would build up endurance for a marathon or other sporting event. Charles knew his body well enough to know that if he was patient, he could train himself to have a multiorgasmic response almost automatically. Here’s what he had to say:

“I love sex, and my wife and I have great fun together in bed, but there is a part of me that takes sex very seriously. I have pushed my body hard through all kinds of rigorous athletic training programs, and it has always paid off in the end. Intuitively, I knew that it wouldn’t be any different for something like male multiple orgasm. You put yourself through your paces, you get the result.

“My strategy was to do an exercise and learn a technique by myself, then try the same technique in a session with my wife. The sessions with my wife

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were strictly for our pleasure. I did the hard work by myself.”

Charles was anxious to get started, yet he progressed through his training slowly and methodically—the mark of an athlete who takes his work seriously. He explains:

“I exercised my PC muscle a lot, but I never overdid it; I knew it would only be a matter of time before everything kicked in. People push too hard when they don’t know their bodies. But serious athletes have learned the rewards of pacing themselves. Why should it be any different with these exercises?”

Did Charle’s patience and hard work pay off? I’ll let him tell you:

“It has been almost a year now since I started to learn these techniques, and the results have been extraordinary. Compared to other exercise regimens of mine, this one was a snap.

I never needed to learn the ‘windsprint’ technique. All I had to do was practice my peaking, plateauing, and PC control and everything else unfolded effortlessly. I couldn’t really tell you why I didn’t need the final exercises. My body just found a different way.”

There are many paths to the top of the mountain, and clearly, Charles found his. The goal here is male multiple orgasm, and as far as I’m concerned, whatever works, works.

Not surprisingly, it’s still working for Charles:

“When a marathon is over, it’s over, but when you’re multiorgasmic, it never ends. I am becoming more and more orgasmic all the time, even though I don’t even try anymore.

I have had as many as five orgasms during one session of intercourse with my

170 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

wife. You know what the odd part is? It’s as though I’ve suddenly discovered that my body is naturally multiorgasmic. I never knew it because I didn’t even know that such a thing existed. But now it feels like it’s who I am, and who I always was.

“My wife says that knowing me and knowing how determined I can be, she’s not entirely surprised by my success, though she certainly is pleased. She thinks this all happened so easily for me because I’m so driven, but I think that’s only half of the story. I really wonder how many men are probably just like me, with this ‘natural’ ability just sitting there, waiting to be tapped.”

Frederick’s Story

Finally, I’d like you to meet Frederick. Frederick is a structur-al engineer who told me that his desire to learn about male multiple orgasm was driven by “an engineer’s fascination with how his body works.” Men like Frederick are so methodical and scientific in their style of approach that from the very beginning their success seems inevitable.

To train his body to respond the way he envisioned it could, Frederick invented his own style of “riding the 9’s.”

He learned to plateau at Level 9 for a full ten minutes, using a combination of breathing, PC contractions, and varying the speed of his thrusting. You learned to create plateaus like this in chapter 7, but you probably didn’t imagine you could ride high-level plateaus all the way to orgasm. Well, Frederick did, and he liked the results so much that he stuck with it, creating his own personal style of climaxing.

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Riding a wave like this at very high levels is different from the more aggressive techniques you learned in chapter 10.

Instead of pushing yourself to the point of orgasm, you almost fall over into orgasm after plateauing for long intervals at very high levels. As I briefly mentioned earlier in the book, this type of approach most closely resembles the way many women have multiple orgasms.

Not surprisingly, Frederick had a lot to say about his process:

“I did most of my training by myself. I was able to bring myself to multiple orgasm before I tried doing it with a partner. If I can be frank here, I’ve always felt that masturbation is essential if you’re going to learn your own personal response. I know that some people might be uncomfortable with this, but personally, I think they are getting in the way of their own progress and their own pleasure.

“If you’re like me, the kind of guy who can get pretty obsessed with mastering something like this, I don’t think it’s fair to ask your partner to work with you every single time you want to practice these techniques. Sometimes? Yes. But not every single time. Still, that practice is important—at least it was for me. I couldn’t imagine learning to have the kind of control I now have if I didn’t spend a lot of time working on this alone.”

Frederick has learned to have as many as
four
orgasms before he ejaculates. His final words on the subject should be an inspiration to every man:

“You can’t fail! If you do the work, you simply cannot fail!

Every exercise is a stepping stone closer to the goal. Each one, no matter how it feels, is a learning experience. Sometimes it works, sometimes

172 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

it doesn’t, and sometimes you don’t know whether it did or it didn’t. That can be a little weird, but your body keeps changing; it keeps adjusting and adapting. The most important thing is to keep a positive attitude all the time and just keep going. And keep working that PC muscle! A strong PC

muscle is a requirement for success!”

Your Story

So there you have it. Four very different men, four very different experiences, yet every one is a success story.

So what about you? What’s your story? I want to know.

Why did you decide to learn about male multiple orgasm?

What has the learning experience been like for you? What was easy? What was challenging? Now that you have completed all of the exercises, what does it feel like to be a multiorgasmic man? How has your body changed? How has your sense of yourself changed? If you are in a relationship, how has that changed? What has been your partner’s experience of this process? What advice do you have for other men who are interested in learning these techniques? I’m really interested in your input. Let me know by writing to me care of the publisher.

A P P E N D I X O N E

INTERESTING THINGS TO

READ WHEN YOU’RE

NOT HAVING SEX

Anand, M. (1989).
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy
. Los Angeles, CA: Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc. Interesting “ecstasy” exercises for men, women, and couples.

Barbach, L. (1975).
For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female
Sexuality
. New York: Doubleday and Company. For the ladies, and the men who love them, this book focuses on increased orgasmic response for women.

Brauer, A., and Brauer, D. (1983).
ESO
(extended sexual orgasm). New York: Warner Books. Packed with orgasm-enhancement exercises for men and women. Interesting to read and fun to try.

Carter, S., and Sokol, J. (1988).
What Really Happens in Bed
.

New York: Evans. A solid, sane look at sexual fears, sexual fantasies, and sexual realities. Smart, smart, smart.

Danoff, D. (1993).
Superpotency
. New York: Warner Books.

Helpful for men who are trying to develop a more positive attitude about their sexuality.

Dunn, M., and Trost, J. (1989). Male multiple orgasms: A descriptive study.
Archives of Sexual Behavior
18(5), 377–387.

One of the more important journal articles concerning the existence of male multiple orgasm and non-ejaculatory orgasm. A must-read for any doubting Thomas.

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174 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.

Eichel, E., and Nobile, P. (1991).
The Perfect Fit: How to Achieve
Mutual Fulfillment and Monogamous Passion Through the New
Intercourse
. New York: Donald I. Fine. The title says it all.

Hartman, W., and Fithian, M. (1984).
Any Man Can
. New York: St. Martin’s Press. One of the first books to discuss male multiple orgasm in depth and offer possible means of achieving it.

Keesling, B. (1993).
Sexual Pleasure
. Alameda, CA: Hunter House. One of my personal favorites (surprise, surprise). If you’re having real trouble with your ejaculatory control, check out the exercises in this book. There’s lots in here for women as well.

Kennedy, A., and Dean, S. (1986).
Touching for Pleasure—A
Guide to Sensual Enhancement
. Chatsworth, CA: Chatsworth Press. A book that focuses on touching—I think that’s important.

Kinsey, A., Pomeroy, W., and Martin, C. (1948).
Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
. Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders Company. The classic study that redefined our understanding of male sexuality. A must for every library.

Ladas, A., Whipple, B., and Perry, J. (1982).
The G Spot and
Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality
. New York: Dell Publishing Co., Inc. Still controversial after over a dec-ade—the debate rages on.

Montagu, A. (1986, 3rd edition).
Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin
. New York: Harper & Row. Sensitive, sensuous, and helpful reading.

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Penney, A. (1993).
How to Make Love to a Man (Safely)
. New York: Carol Southern Books. An easy, smart read that has something for women
and
men. It’s the nineties, and sex is no good unless it’s safe.

Ramsdale, D., and Ramsdale, E. (1990, 9th printing).
Sexual
Energy Ecstasy: A Practical Guide to Lovemaking Secrets of the
East and West
. Playa del Rey, CA: Peak Skill Publishing. Very advanced ideas and techniques for the curious and the motivated.

Robbins, M., and Jensey, G. (1978). Multiple orgasm in males.

The Journal of Sex Research
14(1), 21–26. One of the earliest studies suggesting that men could
learn
to have nonejaculatory orgasms and multiple orgasms. Check it out.

Schwartz, B. (1989).
The One Hour Orgasm
. Houston, TX: Breakthru Publishing. Why rush a good thing? Valuable exercises are included.

Thornton, J. (1992). Multiple orgasm.
Self
, May 1992, pp.

158–161. An important magazine piece for those who don’t like struggling through professional journals.

Zilbergeld, B. (1992).
The New Male Sexuality
. New York: Bantam Books. Another classic that helps take men out of the sexual dark ages.

A P P E N D I X T W O

MALE SEXUAL ORGANS

Male sexuality anatomy—relevant to ejaculation. I have left 176

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT / 177

out several major organs in order to simplify the ejaculatory system.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are many people I would like to thank.

First, I wish to thank my colleagues, Anita Banker and Michael Riskin, for helping develop many of these techniques.

I would like to thank my agent, Barbara Lowenstein, for recognizing the value of this project.

I wish to thank my editor, Susan Moldow, and her staff, Nancy Peske and Wendy Silbert, for their very conscientious work on this book.

I would especially like to thank my clients who tried out these techniques and gave me their invaluable feedback.

Finally, I would like to thank my husband, John, for his computer work, his feedback on the manuscript, and his support.

178

About the Author

Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., is the author of
Super Sexual Orgasm
(published by HarperPerennial as
Discover Your Sensual Potential
) and
How to Make Love All Night (And Drive a Woman
Wild)
—both titles are available from PerfectBound e-books.

Dr. Keesling is also the author of, among other works,
The
Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl’s Sex
;
Rx Sex: Making Love Is the
Best Medicine
;
How to Talk Sexy to the One You Love (And Drive
Each Other Wild in Bed)
; and
Sexual Pleasure: Reaching New
Heights of Sexual Arousal & Intimacy
. She has taught human sexuality and psychopathology at several southern California universities.