How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) (15 page)

Exercise 20: The Daily Double (solo)

The first thing you need to do is lie down and get comfortable, or sit in a very comfortable chair. Using plenty of lubrication, begin a sensate focus genital caress, slowly stroking your penis in a way that pleases you most. For the first part of this exercise, I’d just like you to do three or four low-level peaks (e.g., Level 4, Level 5, and Level 6), using your PC

muscle to control your arousal at each

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peak. Try to use a medium-strength squeeze here, not a bone-crushing monster squeeze. Remember to breathe deeply at each peak to help bring your arousal back down a notch or two. Take your time. Each peak should take at least three or four minutes.

Your next peak is going to be a slightly more intense, Level 8 peak. You’re probably stroking your penis a bit faster by now. That’s fine, as long as you’re not trying to rush the process. Keep using that PC muscle to control your arousal (a firm squeeze, but not a killer), and remember to breathe deeply as you squeeze. The next phase of this practice exercise begins at Level 9. Try to create a series of mini-peaks at Level 9, Level 9.1, Level 9.2, Level 9.3, etc., all the way to Level 9.9.

This sounds tricky, but it’s not that hard once you know that it only takes two or three extra strokes to raise you from one mini-level to the next. So, let’s say you’ve just used your PC muscle to peak at Level 9. Resume your caress and go three or four strokes past Level 9—this is Level 9.1. At Level 9.1, give your PC a medium squeeze, breathe deeply, and let your level drop ever so slightly (not even one full level). Start stroking yourself again. This time, go three or four strokes past Level 9.1—this is Level 9.2. Give your PC a medium squeeze and breathe deeply, letting your level drop again.

Resume your caress. You are going to try to continue in this fashion, one tiny increment at a time, until you have worked yourself all the way up to Level 9.9.

By the time you reach Level 9.9, you should find it relatively easy to give that PC muscle one last solid squeeze at just the right moment, enabling

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your body to go into orgasm without having an ejaculation.

As I stressed in the previous exercise, there is no need to fret if you miss one or two of these mini-levels and find yourself having a partial or full ejaculation. Just make a note to be more conservative with your stroking the next time you decide to practice (i.e., fewer strokes and/or slower strokes).

After your first orgasm, let yourself relax for a minute or two by doing some slow, even stroking. If you’re still in the mood for more (this exercise is pretty exhausting and you may have had enough for one session), pick up your speed again and stroke yourself all the way to a second orgasm.

This time, don’t try to hold back your ejaculation.

Where Do You Go from Here?

How are you feeling right now? Having your first multiple orgasm can be a life-altering experience. It’s disorienting to realize the effect this process will have on everything from your deepest fears to your deepest fantasies. One of the most rewarding moments for me as a clinician is when a client

“gets it” for the first time. To be present for that moment when a person’s understanding of his own sexual potential changes forever is quite a privilege. Obviously, I can’t be with each and every one of you right now. But believe me that I am with you in spirit, and that I am truly proud of the work each of you has done.

Once you have taken control of the process you have just learned, multiple orgasms are easy. At first, you’ll probably want to stick closely to the

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style and steps of the exercises. But before long, you’re going to feel so confident in your ejaculatory control that you will be ready to expand your horizons. For the ambitious man and his partner, a brave new world awaits. Think of all the exercises in this book as your “starter kit.” I’ve included everything you need to get going, and have hours and hours of fun, but it’s really just the beginning. Soon you’re going to want to accessorize.

I’m sure you have noticed by now that in each of the multiple-orgasm exercises in this book, I encouraged you to have your second orgasm within a minute or two of your first. The reason for suggesting you have your second orgasm so quickly was to make learning these techniques less over-whelming. It’s hard enough to get to the point where you can have your first nonejaculatory orgasm. You don’t need to be worrying about your second orgasm too. In the beginning, it’s more important to know that you
can
have a second orgasm. The timing of that orgasm is a lot less important.

But now you know you can have two orgasms in a row without losing your erection. Now you’re a believer. You may not want to have that second orgasm so quickly.

No…you may want to wait a while…and wait…and wait.

After all, isn’t that what you’re here for?

It’s time to start expanding your repertoire. Most exercise regimens begin with stretching exercises, but that’s where ours is going to end. Begin by trying to stretch out the time between your first and second orgasm. How long can you go before having your second orgasm? How long do you
want
to go?

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Maybe you don’t want to ejaculate the second time either, so you can have a third orgasm…or even a fourth orgasm!

Why not? You’ve earned it. From now on, here is your new mantra: Stretch, stretch, stretch. Start experimenting too. Be creative and be ambitious. Now that you know what to do, you’re in control. Just keep in mind that you always have your tried and true starter kit exercises to fall back on should you lose your way. Experiment with your timing. Experiment with your techniques, with your pacing, and with your positions. But before you do anything,
get your partner’s input
.

What does she want right now? What are her fantasies? What are her needs? Where does she want to go from here? Let her answers be your guide.

Male multiple orgasm is a magical thing. Magical for you, magical for your partner, and magical for the relationship.

The hardest work is now behind you, and the future is full of possibilities. Just remember that wherever you decide to go from here, the most important thing for both of you is to
enjoy yourselves
.

C H A P T E R T W E L V E

SUCCESS!

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I
would like to end this book by introducing you to four more multiorgasmic men. All of these men have recently learned the very same techniques you are now practicing.

Each man has a slightly different story to tell, and every story is well worth telling. While each of these men started with a different motivation, a different understanding of male sexuality, a different attitude, and a different physiology, they all had the same goal: male multiple orgasm. Having now achieved that goal, they all were eager to share their experiences with you, the reader. Some of them even had advice they wanted to offer.

Stephen’s Story

Like many men who are interested in learning how to become multiorgasmic, Stephen’s motivation was a natural outgrowth of his pleasure orientation. When we first met, he gave me the following information about himself:

“I believe there is so much pleasure to get out of every single aspect of life. No matter what it is I’m doing—skiing, biking, painting, even working—I’m always trying to find the pleasure zone and stretch my experience in that zone. To me, that’s what life is all about. Of course, I’ve always tried to do the same thing with sex. I’m always experimenting with different techniques, always trying to expand ‘the zone.’

Don’t get me wrong—it’s not an obsession or anything like that. I just have a very strong internal drive, coupled with unending curiosity and a willingness to try new things.

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“That’s why I was so drawn to the idea of male multiple orgasm. The whole concept felt like such a natural extension of my attitude and my life. I still remember my reaction the first time I heard that such a thing existed. I was listening to some sexologist on the radio talking about the original Kinsey findings. It was a pretty boring discussion, until he mentioned the part about multiorgasmic men. Suddenly, a big smile broke across my face, and I said to my girlfriend, ‘Now that sounds like it should be me.’”

Stephen’s goal when he started working with me at the clinic was to learn how he could stay inside his partner’s vagina at very high arousal levels for as long as possible. He told me that he didn’t want “just any old multiple orgasm.”

He was looking for an experience of maximum intensity.

That really made me laugh, since I tend to think of almost every multiple orgasm as a pretty intense experience.

This is how Stephen summed up his learning process:

“After mastering the initial exercises, it wasn’t long before I learned how to maintain my erection and my arousal after my first orgasm. At first, I wasn’t always able to stop myself from ejaculating. This didn’t surprise me. After all, I’ve been ejaculating during orgasm for a lot of years and my body has to be pretty used to that path.…I didn’t expect to get total control overnight.

“Even if I ejaculated I would try to continue thrusting for as long as possible. Dina, my partner, was extremely helpful during those times. She never judged me, never criticized me, and most

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important, never tried to stop me. She just let me do whatever I could do. I was determined to get the hang of this one way or the other, but her generous attitude really helped.

“Soon I was able to have a second orgasm within two or three minutes of my first. But that was just the beginning.

Once I knew I could keep my erection and keep going, I really started to push ‘the zone.’ Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen, twenty.…I find that now I can even let myself ejaculate during my first orgasm without losing my erection, and I still have a second, partial ejaculation with my second orgasm. That, to me, is amazing.

“The key, I have discovered, has been to focus everything on the sensation of moving in and out of my partner’s body.

That’s where the sensate focus exercises really paid off. When Dina is wet from my first ejaculation, the experience is even more intense. I guess that’s what helps make the ‘impossible’

now possible.”

Alex’s Story

When Alex was a teenager, he was able to have multiple orgasms with many of the women with whom he was having sex. He was very self-assured, and really loved having sex.

As he got older, however, he lost his multiorgasmic ability.

He also lost a lot of his sexual confidence.

Alex came to my office with his wife Paula. They had been married for six years. While they assured me that many aspects of their sex life were very rewarding, they also acknow-ledged that there were areas that needed work.

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During this first visit, Alex expressed a very powerful desire to enhance and control his sexual response, and to recap-ture the magic of his teenage years. Paula’s greatest concern was Alex’s lack of confidence, but she was also intrigued by the idea of male multiple orgasm, and had no trouble imagining the possible benefits for both of them.

Alex started his relearning process by strengthening his PC muscle. He then began doing peaking and plateauing exercises with Paula during intercourse. Here is how he recalled his initial sessions with Paula practicing these new techniques:

“During intercourse with Paula I would squeeze my PC

at each peak, all the way up to the point of inevitability. At that point, I would have what I would call a ‘60-percent orgasm’ along with a partial ejaculation. I was able to maintain my erection, and continue having intercourse with Paula, which was good. But frankly, it didn’t
feel
that good. It actually felt kind of funny—weird funny—and at that point I was skeptical.”

After talking to Alex and Paula about these initial experiences, I realized that Alex had not been highly successful his first few times. I felt that Alex needed to back up a bit and slow his process down. Instead of pushing him to keep practicing the techniques he was already using, I encouraged him to do more awareness exercises.

As a couple, I thought Alex and Paula would benefit from more practice doing sensate focus caresses. And I suspected that Alex would also benefit from focusing more on the process of creating and maintaining plateaus at higher and higher levels. I suggested he practice his plateaus alone at first

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to keep some of the pressure off. That helped a lot, as Alex illustrates:

“I started to practice by myself, doing plateaus at Level 8, 8.5, 9, and 9.5. At the point of inevitability I would focus intently on my groin and the sensation of thrusting. At this point, I had a sense of an extremely prolonged orgasm—maybe ten to twelve seconds, compared to my usual three to four seconds. I would be sweating like they do in the movies and my heart would be pounding. That was a very new experience for me, and it was very intense. I remember that at the time I was thinking to myself, ‘You may be on to something here.’

“Then I tried doing the squeeze again during intercourse with Paula. The first three times I tried, I only had a ‘50-percent orgasm,’ but unlike the previous times, I was no longer ejaculating. Something about my body was definitely changing, and I felt really encouraged.”

At this point in the training process I decided it was time to introduce Alex and Paula to my favorite exercise: “The Big Takeoff.” Alex recalls:

“Learning the new exercise was the final turning point for us. The
very first time
Paula and I tried this, I had two ‘100-percent orgasms’ within seven minutes of each other. Paula also had an extraordinary orgasm. Success!

“At first, it was easier to have my second orgasm outside of Paula’s vagina. Once she felt satisfied, we would stop having intercourse and she would masturbate me to my climax with her hands. That was fine for a while, but eventually I became comfortable staying inside her for my second climax. Of course, that felt better for her
and
for me.