How to Liv (30 page)

Joel gave me a sad look with hopeful puppy dog eyes. 

“Follow me?”

“You mean…?”

“I want you with me Joel.  These past few days, without you…”

“Have been hell,” he finished off my sentence.

“Exactly.”

We stared at each other for a moment, both of us through watery eyes.

“I love you,” we said at the same time.

“I don’t ever want to let you go,” Joel said, cupping the back of my neck.  He pulled himself to me, until our foreheads were touching.

“So don’t.”

Three months of bliss.  Joel and I were happy and in love.  We were practically living together, flitting back and forth between two houses.  My life had become everything I thought it would never be.  I had the perfect man.  He was kind, caring and passionate.  And damn sexy as hell.

My sister was happy in her new place, I was happy to actually spend some time with her, without any drama.  Adam, Raelene and Chelsea were regular fixtures in our lives.  They were my new family.  My old family, my mum and dad, got along extremely well with Joel, too.  Everything was perfect.

Until the phone call I overheard Joel taking.

I was coming down the hallway, headed for the bathroom at Joel’s
house, he was seated in the lounge.  I’d heard the phone ring from the bedroom.  I didn’t think anything of it.  I had no intention of eavesdropping, until I realised that his voice was hushed and it got me curious.

“I know and I will tell her as soon as I can… hopefully… probably not for a couple of days… Aha… yes… okay… bye, Kate.”

I quickly continued onto the bathroom, where I was headed, before Joel saw me.

“Who was on the phone earlier?” I asked him later that night, when we were getting into bed.

“Hmm?  Oh, just Adam.”

“Yeah?
  And want did he want?”

“Nothing.
  Just a chat.”  That was his response right before he turned off the bedside light and curled up behind me in bed.  His hands began to wander.

“I’m really tired.  I just want to go to sleep,” I said, for the first time ever.
Up until that point I had been in a constant state of arousal around him.

“Okay.”  He kissed me on the back of my head and moved away.  He didn’t even balk at the fact I had turned him down for sex.

That was two days ago.

Since he’d told me everything about his past that rainy night by the creek months before, I’d never once doubted him.  Never once felt that I couldn’t trust him. 
Until that phone call.

I tried to keep it out of my mind, we’d even had sex since, but there was a niggly feeling that something was going on.  And then again, about an hour ago, he got another mysterious phone call.  I heard him whispering on the phone in the bedroom.  When I asked him who it was he said it was Adam,
just like last time.  I knew it wasn’t Adam.  If it was Adam he wouldn’t have been whispering and hiding in the bedroom.

It was Saturday afternoon.  We were on our way to another ‘no reason’ party at Raelene and Adam’s, when I realised he had taken a wrong turn.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

He smiled, looking at me briefly before returning his eyes to the road.  The smile didn’t seem genuine.  I could see he was clenching his jaw.  He was tense.  He was nervous.  He was keeping something from me and it wasn’t just some little romantic surprise.  It was much more than that.  I was positive it had something to do with the mysterious phone calls.

“Who was on the phone?”  I asked again, finally becoming one of those nagging, interfering girlfriends that I never wanted to become.

“I told you, it was Adam.”  It didn’t believe it for a second.

“And Wednesday night?”
 

“Wednesday night?”

Now he was just making me angry.  He knew what I meant and was being purposefully evasive, I could tell when his eyes looked my way.

“No one.”

“Joel!”

He stayed silent and I felt hurt that he wouldn’t answer me. 

“Please tell me.”  I begged.  “You said no secrets… you promised.”  I could feel the tears coming, I didn’t want to cry, but I was convinced that he was going to drop a bomb on me.

“Can you please just give me a little more time?” he asked.

“More time?  What does that even mean?”

“It means exactly what I said
Liv, I just need a little more time.”  He reached over and gave my hand a squeeze.

I guess he meant it to be reassuring, but I found it patronizing and I jerked my hand away.

“Please don’t be mad.”

His tone only served to make me angrier at him. 
Why won’t he just tell me what’s going on?
  I turned away from him and crossed my arms haughtily.  I stared out the passenger window not really seeing anything that we were passing.  Joel let out a loud sigh. 
Good, he was getting aggravated, too!

“Okay… I didn’t want to tell you like this, but…  The phone call was from a woman I’ve been seeing-”

“
You’re cheating on me?
” I cut him off.

Joel abruptly swerved the car to the side of the road.  He slammed his foot on the brakes, hard.  The sudden force jolted me in my seat, setting my heart racing.  I frantically looked around to see what he had swerved to avoid.  I couldn’t see anything.  We were in a quiet street - actually I had no idea where we were.  He took off his seatbelt and reached for me, grabbing both of my shoulders.

“NO!  Look at me, Liv!”  I did.  I could see anger in his features but I could also see fear in his eyes.  “No.  Liv, no!”

“I’ve been blindsided again,” I murmured before Joel’s words even registered.

“NO!  I would never cheat on you. 
Never
.  You are
everything
to me!”  He shook me slightly.  “Why would you even think that?  Liv listen to me.  Sue is a real estate agent.  That’s who called before, she’s been showing me through some properties.”

“A real estate agent?”
 

“Yes.”

Why would he be seeing a real estate agent and not tell me? 
I could finally get some air into my lungs, I took a deep breath before I felt myself crumbling again.

“Wait.  Did you say Sue?  Then who the fuck is Kate?”  My anger rose again.

“Kate is a mortgage broker.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh.”  Joel crushed me to him.  He hugged me so tight, it hurt. 

“Why couldn’t you have just told me that?” I murmured into his chest with a shaky breath. 
He’s looking at houses?  Why would he keep that from me?  It doesn’t make any sense.

“I had this stupid
idea, I thought it would be romantic… I’m sorry, I know what you’ve been through, I should have thought about that before… I should never have allowed even the smallest doubt to creep into your mind.  I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.  I should never have doubted you.”  I pulled out of his embrace to wipe away my tears.

“I love you, Liv.”  Joel gripped the sides of my face.  “I love you so much.”  Then he kissed me hard.  “I’m sorry.”

I kissed him back harder, my hands coming up to clutch his face.  Our lips moved against each other, frantically, desperately.

Eventually he pulled back, put his belt back on and started the car.  He looked at me and smiled, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze, this time I squeezed back.

“I do trust you Joel.  I’m sorry.”

“Good.”

He let go of my hand to steer the car back onto the road.

“So, where are we going?” I asked, still not having any idea where we were.

“I thought you just said you trusted me,” he said with a slight chuckle but then answered anyway.  “We’re meeting Sue at a house I’m interested in… and here we are.”

He pulled into a long, tree-lined, gravel driveway.  The trees gave way to a large circular garden in front of a weatherboard house.  There was a lady standing beside a flash looking car.  She was dressed in a business suit and was wearing a wide smile.  Joel parked the car and we got out.  As we approached she called out.

“I was beginning to think you were standing me up.”

“Sorry-”

“It was my fault, sorry,” I interrupted Joel and stepped forward.

“Not a problem dear.  You must be Liv.  I’m Sue.  It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

She extended her hand to give mine a friendly shake.  She was probably in her mid-
fifties, she had short grey hair and bright red lipstick that matched her perfectly manicured red nails.  I almost laughed at the sight of her next to Joel, no I’d say she wasn’t his type at all.

“Nice to meet you, Sue.”

“The owners aren’t home so feel free to take your time browsing.  The house is already open, if you have any questions, please come find me.”

“Thank you,” Joel and I spoke at the same time.  He took my hand, giving it a squeeze before pulling me up the front steps onto a decked
verandah.

We went through a squeaky fly wire door into a warm and inviting entrance way.  The first thing I noticed
were the beautifully polished floor boards.  Off to the right was a spacious lounge room, the décor was neutral with beige walls and carpet.  Through the lounge was the master bedroom.  It was large and bright, the window facing the front garden where we came in.

“This is a sliding door,” Joel said as he walked to what I had mistaken as being a simple window.  “It opens onto a separate
verandah.”  I looked out to see what he meant.  The owners had placed a small round table and two chairs on the private decking.

“Your own private balcony, how swish.”
  I smiled at him.

“Wait ‘til you see the
ensuite.”

Joel hurriedly pulled me past a huge walk in wardrobe to another door that opened up into a spacious
ensuite bathroom.  It had a double shower, double vanity and a full sized spa bath.  The walls were the same beige but the floor tiles were a pale lilac, the wall tiles white and the cupboards a soft grey.  It was lovely and romantic.

“Wow.  Talk about decadent.”

“Nice, huh?”  Joel caught my reflection in the huge mirror.  His smile was wide.  “C’mon, there’s more to see.”

He pulled me back out the bedroom, through the lounge and back to the start.  From the entrance we then headed straight ahead into a wide open room.  The walls there were also beige, with the same floorboards as the entrance.  The kitchen was neatly tucked around to the right, a dining room table to the
side of it and off to the left was another lounge, or a family room, I suppose.  I let go of Joel’s hand and wandered through the kitchen.  There was a wide island bench with a sink in the middle, a dishwasher and microwave underneath.  The cupboards were an understated beige with the wall tiles over the state of the art oven and hotplates the feature.  There were drawers everywhere and a huge walk in pantry at the end.  It really was a dream kitchen.

“Do you like it?”  Joel was watching me as I walked back towards him, running my hand along the bench as I went.

“I love it!”  Then I turned to look out the large windows that went right along the room.  “Oh wow!”  I walked over to the large sliding door in the centre and was about to walk out the door when Joel grabbed my hand.  “Joel, it’s beautiful.  How much land is there?”  I was looking at a perfectly lush green lawn, rolling on slight incline down into thick bushland.

“It’s three acres.  The land ends just past that line of trees.”  He pointed to the thick scrub.  “Let me show you the rest of the house.”

He pulled me through an open doorway tucked in the corner of the room.  The floorboards stretched down a long hallway.  There was a large bedroom on the left, its window opening out onto the front verandah.  The room was large with plenty of wardrobe space, the walls were again beige, a blank canvas.  We continued down the hallway, where there were two more bedrooms just like it, as well as a spacious laundry and beautiful bathroom.

“Four bedrooms?”
I asked when we entered the last room.

Joel nodded.

“This house is huge, it didn’t look this big from the outside.”

“It is deceptive.  Do you want to see out the back now?”

I nodded, looking around in wonder.  He pulled me back through to the kitchen/family room and out the back sliding door.

It opened up onto a large undercover deck.  We stepped down onto a stunning landscaped garden.  The lawn was so lush and green.  Gum trees dotted the lawn with little garden beds underneath each one.  Joel pulled me in the direction of a huge shed.  When he opened the door I was surprised to see it was set up with a huge bar.  It was rustic, made from old iron and railway sleepers, with wooden tables and chairs. 
A pool table in the middle.