How to Get a (Love) Life (12 page)

‘All done,’ she chirruped. I’d completely forgotten she was here.

‘Great,’ I smiled weakly at her. ‘Thank you, see you next week, have a nice evening!’

‘Okay, I am leave to go on the tiles,’ she said, miming a pretty indecent dance move for my benefit.

‘Er, great!’

‘See you on the next week, yes?’ she called, shrugging on her coat in the hall. ‘You good week hoping I. Byeeee!’

I sighed and snuggled deeper into my sofa, daydreaming of roaring fires, boiling water and steam rooms.

Chapter Fifteen

Single girl WLTM man who enjoys darts, board games, crosswords, watching TV and cosy nights in.

Contact: Box No. 5811

‘You look exhausted,’ Caroline said when I arrived at the office the next day.

‘Thanks,’ I scoffed, swinging my bag down by my desk. ‘I appreciate your lovely compliment.’

Caroline noted my grumpy expression and giggled. ‘Oh, you look pretty too, Nicky Wicky, just a teeny bit tired … up all night were you?’

I threw the nearest thing to hand, a pink highlighter, at her but she just ducked out of the way.

With mock horror, she said, ‘Nicola Brown are you CLUTTERING our office space?’

I poked my tongue out at her just as James walked through the door.

‘Very mature, Nicola. I’m sure she deserved it.’ He smiled, as I felt my cheeks get hot.

‘Good morning, James.’ I mumbled.

Caroline was openly laughing at me.

When James was firmly settled into his office next door, I told Caroline about my sea kayak experience of the day before, relishing retelling the gory details, remembering just how cold the sea had been, and loving the varied expressions of shock on Caroline’s face.

‘He made you get in the water?’ she gasped. ‘In
November
? He’s as mad as a box of toads.’

I was pleased that someone else thought this was particularly abnormal and reminded Caroline that during this entire nightmare I’d been dressed top-to-toe in figure-hugging neoprene. Hat and all.

‘Honestly, I looked like a skittle.’ I shook my head as Caroline rocked in her chair, laughing at the image.

James re-emerged from his office, ‘All I can hear is you two laughing. What is so funny?’ he asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

‘Nicola has taken up kayaking,’ Caroline said, exploding into another bout of giggles.

‘
Nicola?
’ he enquired, turning to me.

I mumbled a potted version of the story I’d just told Caroline, excluding the fact that it had been a blind date, and looked up in confusion as James started chuckling as well. I couldn’t remember ever making him laugh before. Well, except for the time I’d been cleaning under my desk and fallen off my seat, head first, into the bin. But on that occasion he’d been laughing
at
me and not with me. This was new. It felt good. For the first time in twenty-four hours I was genuinely glad to have been out with Steven yesterday. It wasn’t that I was reconsidering making winter trips to the ocean, but I realised I had a good story to tell. I’d done something outrageous this weekend and retelling that tale was part of the fun. I gave myself a small, and imaginary, pat on the back.

So when I received a text from Mark later that morning that read: ‘Sorry about Steven, have got another lined up … interested?’ I didn’t instantly recoil from the idea. Fine, so me and Steven were never going to be future life partners, but he hadn’t been a horrible person. Aside from his fanatical desire to push his body to its physical limit, Steven had been a perfectly decent human being. He hadn’t been rude, hadn’t been unpleasant, hadn’t been dull. He hadn’t taken recreational drugs on our date, he hadn’t had
deep
psychological problems, he hadn’t appeared violent, abusive or needy. It could have been worse. In the warmth of the office, retelling the tale, it sounded comical, adventurous, exciting. Not enough to repeat the experience, obviously, but enough to see who else was out there. Buoyed up by these thoughts, I texted Mark back. ‘Okay I’ll do it. Get him to give me a call’.

Clearly surprised by my positive response, Mark immediately rang my mobile.

‘That’s the attitude, Sis! Try, try, try again. I’ll get Lewis to call you. You’ll like Lewis; he’s like the opposite of Steven. He’s not outdoorsy at all. But he’s not fat,’ he tacked on, just in case I assumed that if you weren’t running a few marathons a year you were bound to be obese.

‘And what does Lewis do?’ I asked.

‘Lots of things. He’s a bit of a handyman, but, you know, educated.’

‘Age?’ I enquired.

‘My age. Oh, hold on, Carol is calling me over. I better go!’ He gushed.

‘Have a good day, run off to Carol,’ I laughed.

The phone went dead and I was left staring at the handset.

Excitingly, James had decided that we could all do with a nice team-bonding lunch out, so Caroline and I pretended to work, while really clock-watching, until James emerged from his office and announced time.

He’d booked a table in one of the restaurants on the river in the centre of town. It was a magical winter’s day. My breath hung in icy clouds and frost sparkled in the sunlight. Everyone was bundled into big duffel coats, holding gloved hands, their noses pink.

I’d splurged on a cherry-red woollen dress and a faux-fur hat that made me look, in Mark’s words, ‘very Anna Karenina/ like a silver-haired bat.’ My black leather knee boots were keeping my feet toasty warm as the three of us walked down Park Street amidst the buzz of the shoppers.

James was wearing a thick grey topcoat over a russet cashmere jumper that made him look like he’d stepped out of an advert from the Ralph Lauren’s men’s catalogue. His mobile started to ring. His wide shoulders hunched as he spoke into the mobile and he curved his body away from us. I shivered and tucked my hands around me protectively.

‘I’m going to have to throw it in the river so he can’t work over lunch,’ Caroline sighed, eyeing James’ mobile.

Almost as if he had heard her, James hung up and ambled back to rejoin us. Our eyes met for a brief second and a hint of something in his expression made me look away quickly, eyes darting anywhere but his face. We walked along the quayside until we got to the restaurant, a converted canal boat moored next to a low stone bridge. Ducking inside, we were immediately greeted by a baby-faced waiter and shown to a small round table tucked in a corner, ivy strewn along wooden shelves behind us, candles flickering as we sat down. James pulled out my chair.

‘That colour really suits you,’ he said, indicating the dress.

I mumbled back at him, barely acknowledging the compliment, racing through possible replies. ‘You too,’ just sounded odd. ‘Thank you,’ dismissive. My mouth half-opened, and then my shoulders sank in relief when I was interrupted by the waiter. James immediately ordered a jug of mulled winter cider, which we drank while we chose what to eat. I scanned the lunchtime specials, freezing in panic when my foot brushed up against a leg. The table leg? Caroline’s leg? James’ leg? I sneaked a look at them both for a response.
Table leg
, I reassured myself. What had come over me? I fanned myself with the menu, impossibly hot in my woollen dress.

‘I’m having the full roast dinner,’ announced Caroline, smacking her lips already and tucking her napkin into her purple shirt, which made us both laugh.

‘A good call,’ James agreed. ‘Nicola?’

‘I’m …’ I stopped fanning myself and scanned the menu again. The words blurred into tiny black smudges. I couldn’t think straight. I wasn’t sure why I was so flustered. I quickly added, ‘The same.’

The waiter bustled over and we ordered main courses and more cider, hands round our mugs blowing on the surface of the drink and feeling the alcohol warming us from the inside. I looked out of the window onto the river and smiled as a double kayak went by. An elderly couple appeared at the table next to us and James turned around, chatting amicably to them as they settled themselves. I grinned as the old lady roared with laughter at something James said, and realised I’d missed something Caroline was telling me.

‘I didn’t catch the last bit,’ I apologised.

‘I noticed,’ she said, one eyebrow raised.

I felt a blush creep into my cheeks as James turned back to the table.

‘Caroline, Nicola,’ James inclined his head at us both and then raised his glass. ‘For keeping my show on the road, I thank you!’

‘Cheers,’ we all clinked.

Moments later, the waiter appeared with three plates, pushing cutlery out of the way to make room. Just as we were settled, forks poised, a mobile went off. James swallowed a hasty mouthful and fished in his coat pocket, pulling it out and silencing it with a tap.

‘So, will you be going away for a Christmas break?’ I asked him.

He shook his head, ‘No, very much England-bound, relative-boun—’

He was cut off by his mobile again. ‘Sorry,’ he smiled, reaching to switch it off.

A text message beeped and he clicked on the phone and read it, before wordlessly shoving the phone back into his pocket.

‘You?’ he asked.

Another text message beep. He looked heavenwards, seeming to lose an internal battle with himself, and scooped the phone back out.

‘I think this will keep going if I don’t get it. I’ll be back in a moment.’ He scraped his chair back and ducked outside, stamping his feet to keep warm as he held the phone to his face.

Caroline frowned. ‘That’s odd,’ she commented.

I chewed a forkful of beef and potato, barely tasting it as I saw James mouthing into the phone, rubbing a hand across his forehead. He looked like he’d aged twenty years in less than a minute. His forehead was pulled into a frown and his kind grey eyes had lost their usual sparkle. Whoever he was talking to, it was clearly not a pleasant conversation.

He hurried back inside and stood over our table. ‘I’m sorry, ladies. This is terrible timing, but I’m afraid I have to be somewhere.’ He picked up his scarf from the back of his chair and swept it quickly around his neck. ‘Please order what you like,
do
get dessert,’ he stressed and tried to raise a smile. One side of his mouth lifted, but his eyes looked so horribly dead I panicked that something really terrible had happened.

‘Is everything okay?’ I asked, automatically standing up and reaching out to place a hand on his arm. He looked down at it and I snatched it back, feeling suddenly embarrassed.

‘Yes, I’m being summoned,’ he attempted a hollow laugh. ‘Long story,’ he said, not quite meeting my eye.

I nodded slowly, feeling something shift. Swallowing, I opened my mouth to say something, wanting to help. Caroline stood up too. ‘Off you go then, get it sorted. We’ll eat your lunch for you.’

There were false laughs all round and James left, answering his mobile again as he ducked out of the restaurant.

Chapter Sixteen

Days passed and the weather worsened so much that heading into work usually meant the death of at least one umbrella between us. On the first reasonably mild day in an age, I hit the shops in my lunch break. I had decided to make an effort to dress up for my next date. I felt glamorous and excited as I whisked round the stores trying on dresses in colours I didn’t usually plump for. I settled on a green floral tea dress that was smart enough for the office but girly too (fine, this is exactly how the shop assistant described it, but I agreed). I’d bought a deep red lipstick to match it and some cute vintage T-Bar heels. Lewis had called me at home the night before and we’d agreed to meet for a drink in a bar in the centre of town the next evening.

I arrived promptly at the agreed time of 7:30 p.m. The bar had a Mexican theme; lots of garish yellows and bright reds clashed in dramatic fashion. On the walls, pictures of men looking swarthy, moustachioed and muscular hung alongside mini guitar ornaments. Low, squashy sofas lined the back of the room, all currently occupied, so I perched on a stool at a small round table by the window and sipped on a glass of wine.

Lewis was late, and after half an hour of waiting, I shuffled over to the bar to buy another white wine from a miserable-looking waiter in a sombrero. I tried to look anywhere but at his hat, which was tricky – it was so big that it cast a shadow down the entire length of the bar. The waiter grunted and handed me my change. I scuttled back to my stool, perched on high once more. I didn’t really hold out huge hopes for this date, especially considering how late he was, but I felt a nice hint of intrigue about meeting someone completely new, about the possibilities of the evening. Until, of course, it occurred to me that Lewis might have stood me up.

I suddenly panicked. What if he had simply decided
not
to come? Was I about to spend my evening sitting in a Mexican bar, rain streaming down the windows outside, ploughing my way through a bottle of wine and a few tequilas, attempting to raise a smile from the grumpy waiter? What if Lewis had called Mark to cancel and Mark hadn’t passed on the message? This wasn’t impossible, Mark’s mobile was about as old as Mark himself – a ‘Pay-as-You-Go’ with some kind of hologram sticker on the back.

How long should I wait? I’d already been here for over thirty minutes. Should I leave now? Should I pretend to answer my phone and have a fake conversation with a fake friend and then leave? That would perhaps be less sad. But what if the phone rang while I was having the fake conversation? That would be worse. I rolled my eyes. This was a nightmare. This was rubbish. This was … a man, coming into the bar and glancing in my direction. This was Lewis, thank God.

Lewis bounded over to the table, apologising for his lateness. Then, exactly like an overkeen Labrador puppy, he took off his coat, shaking the rain from it, splashing our table, and me, with droplets. I was relieved that he hadn’t stood me up, however, so I smiled indulgently at him, dabbing discreetly at the droplets. Things could only get better, I reasoned.

‘Nicky,’ he beamed, grabbing my hand and nearly knocking over my wine with the effort.
It’s Nicola
, I thought.
Nic-o-la
. I was about to correct Lewis out loud, when he turned his back on me to yell at the miserable waiter. ‘All right, mate!’ The waiter seethed at him.