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Authors: Rosie Blake

Tags: #Humour, #laugh out loud, #Romantic Comedy, #funny books, #Chick Lit, #Dating, #Women's Fiction

BOOK: How to Get a (Love) Life
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She squeaked at my announcement, her glossy pink mouth a big ‘Ooh’ of pleasure. A tall man in the queue next door sniggered.

I coughed and continued. ‘Yes. I am a single woman who is deliberately going on this holiday with the hope of meeting someone who will love me.’

Check-In Woman looped a sticker through the handle of my suitcase and raised one neatly pencilled eyebrow. Arms wide, I turned to the rest of the airport. ‘It is my first ever,
ever
time on a singles holiday,’ I cried. ‘I booked it last night because it seemed like the right thing to do. I just needed to … I wanted to, you know … um …’ I trailed off idiotically, watching as my suitcase juddered along the luggage belt and out of sight.

In the distance I thought I heard someone calling my name and in that moment my heart soared. I whipped around – hair flicking across my face in my haste – and scanned the crowds hopefully …

Nope.

Nothing.

I’d imagined it. My stomach lurched.

Overly Bright Airport Girl slung her meaty arm around my shoulders.

‘We should totes sit together on the flight. I’ll show you my holiday pictures from last year. I’ve got them all on my phone. All of them.’

I sniffed, nodded once. ‘Great.’

Nicola Brown, how the hell did you end up here?

The sticker was on and the suitcase was about to make its bumpy journey out of sight when, once more, I thought I heard a voice call my name. I frowned and looked over my shoulder but saw only Overly Bright Airport Girl. I was just about to burst into tears, when I heard my name again, closer this time, and from the corner of my eye noticed someone waving. A man, a tall man, a man I recognised, waving at me and yelling my name repeatedly. It was James. Warmth flooded through me, and with my mouth hanging open, I did a half-wave back.

‘Sorry, hold on, I, well I …’

Suddenly, I seized my bag and hauled it off the scales, wheeled it around and pushed backwards through the queue of people. There was swearing and Check-In Woman was calling something after me, but all I knew was that I had to get out of that line. My heart lifted in hopeful anticipation. It was a long way to travel to the airport, and he’d have had to go through the business of parking and walking to ‘Departures’, which was a long way from the car park and, well, he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t really, really want to see me, would he?

I stopped in my tracks. Maybe he was just taking a business flight somewhere and caught sight of me and waved hello? Worse, maybe he and Thalia were off on some kind of week-long sex trip in the sun. I looked up, scanning the crowds for James again. It occurred to me then that maybe I was hallucinating him. Was I so desperate that I’d conjured him up, in the airport, waving at me, just like in a scene out of
Love Actually
? Oh my God, how foolish. I was running towards a mirage, like a thirsty woman in a desert. I buried my head into my hands.

‘Nicola.’

I looked up, and he was definitely there, waving at me.

I tried to compose myself, tried to look nonchalant and like this situation was normal. I failed completely. As he pushed through the crowds and drew up right by me I guessed that I resembled a startled rabbit in the headlights; staring eyes, frozen and unable to move. James reached out a hand to me, before pulling it back.

‘Don’t go,’ he said.

I didn’t know what to say, so I stood there dumbly.

‘It’s not, I need to explain,’ James continued. ‘The thing is …’

I’d never seen him like this, tongue-tied, awkward. I felt my insides growing warm and then admonished myself internally, reminding my brain that he was going out with Thalia and had no interest in me whatsoever.

‘Thalia should never have said those things,’ he said.

‘How do you know what she said?’ I frowned.

‘I asked her.’

He was here to apologise for her rudeness?

I nodded. ‘Well, thank you. But I can look after myself.’

‘No, I know that Nic. But, you see, she shouldn’t have said those things because they are totally untrue. Thalia and I haven’t been seeing each other for months. She became so difficult before Christmas, pretending her mother was ill so she could stay on in the apartment, lying to me again and again about things. Turning up uninvited. It’s completely over.’

James took a step closer, he took my hand.

‘So … you’re free?’ I checked.

‘That’s what I came to tell you yesterday, in case, well, in case you were interested. And then I saw the man – who Caroline has since told me was your brother, but who, at the time, I thought was … you know … your boyfriend, or …’

I looked up into James’ face. His lovely, kind, open face and I smiled fully, deeply, for the first time in a while.

‘So, you came to tell me that you’re not seeing anyone, in case I was interested?’ I asked.

‘Exactly. Caroline told me what you were doing and I just couldn’t let you go without telling you, so I … I made a mad dash for the airport. And here I am.’

‘To tell me you are currently available?’ I clarified.

‘Well, actually I was hoping to go on holiday with my new girlfriend,’ he said, drawing me closer towards him.

‘Oh really!’ I laughed, my whole body feeling light and ridiculous, like if he let me go I would soar towards the ceiling.

‘We
are
at the airport.’ He shrugged. ‘It would be rude not to.’ He steered me round to face the Departures Board. ‘So, where do you fancy?’

I leant back into him and his arms encircled me.

‘I’ve never been to Florence before.’

‘Neither have I.’

He took my hand and walked me over to the tickets desk. ‘Two tickets to Florence please.’ He slid a credit card across. ‘And we’d like to travel first class.’

As the tickets printed, James grinned at me like a child. He squeezed me close. I snuggled into him.

‘Hey,’ he pulled back and grinned at me. ‘You know it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow?’

‘I do.’

He nodded. ‘Well, I did want to wait until we got somewhere a little more, well, private, but I just can’t help myself.’

And, ever so slowly, he leant his head down to me. As my arms wrapped around his neck, our lips met and we had our first amazing kiss.

THE END

Acknowledgements

This is going to get gushy. I can tell.

Firstly to some lovely ladies who agreed to read early drafts of the book and give me some invaluable feedback – Rachel Hawes and Amanda Murphy – thank you for your time and generosity. And to Richard Campbell, my new writing buddy, for an inspiring edit sesh over Skype. Another thank you to some friends who shall remain anonymous (Olivia Solon) for their disastrous date stories. We feel your pain and can comfort you with the thought that at least they make great book fodder.

It has been an absolute blast to be part of Novelicious Books and I don’t think I could have enjoyed the process more. Thank you to Louise for her eagle eye and her encouraging edit notes. To Jade for proofreading so well (I was going to leave out an ‘o’ and make a proofreading joke but I imagine she would be tempted to fix it). And of course to Kerry for being a total pleasure to work with and for getting me into cool magazines and blogs yo.

An enormous squishy hug style thank you to Kirsty at Novelicious for first believing in this book. For her hilarious emails, edit notes and energy. And to Edd for his incredible work on the cover, website and all things super techie.

A huge thanks to the whole team at Darley Anderson for the support – it is such a fantastic agency. Particular thanks to Mary for her enthusiasm and time in drumming up foreign rights interest, for Sheila David for trying to land me a movie deal (*chants “GO SHEILA YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU”*) and, of course, to my amazing agent Clare who has simply been the best agent I could have wished for. She would have corrected that sentence.

This book is dedicated to my parents for always making me believe anything is possible. For Daddy – I hope there aren’t too many split infinitives and to my own Ma ‘Basia’ for reading eighteen versions of the manuscript and who is as chirpy as her namesake in the novel. To my sisters and brother for the bants – well done team I hope you LOL big time – and lastly to my ever-patient husband, Ben. It is really not easy living with someone with a full-time job and a full-time obsession and he is brilliant at not getting at me when the house hasn’t been unpacked and there is no food in the fridge. Or any of the cupboards. Love you all big time. Huge.

And of course lastly to the many book bloggers, other authors and readers who have contacted me or tweeted me, retweeted me and generally roused such enthusiasm. My online buddies have been fantastic – you really are an incredible bunch of big-hearted, bookish nerds.

About the Author

Rosie spent her university years writing pantomimes based on old classics. The 2003 production of
The Wizard of Odd: Search for the Ruby Strippers
enjoyed critical acclaim. This was followed a year later with a successful showing of
Harry Potter: The Musical
(complete with moving opening number, ‘In my Cupboard I will Stay’).

Rosie went on to write a winning short story in the La Senza/Little Black Dress Short Story Competition and was shortlisted in a few others including the ‘Women and Home’ annual competition and the Daily Mail ‘Opening Paragraph’ Competition. She started writing novels and after some false starts, and horrendous jobs that she wishes to keep a closely guarded secret (or write about in the future), Rosie wrote
How to Get a (Love) Life
.

Connect with Rosie on Twitter
@RosieBBooks
and on Facebook at
RosieBBooks
. You can also visit her website at
www.rosieblake.co.uk

About the Publisher

Novelicious Books is a brand new digital publisher for brilliant women’s fiction, brought to you by the team behind the popular female fiction website, Novelicious.com. Find out more at:

www.noveliciousbooks.com

Novelicious is a bright and passionate website dedicated to Women’s Fiction readers, writers and aspiring writers. Whatever your women’s fiction tastes, for up to date news, reviews, exclusive author interviews, writing tips and competitions, visit us at:

www.novelicious.com

Published 2014 by Novelicious Books

an imprint of Novelicious Books Ltd

10 Wall Hill Cottages, Dobcross, Oldham, OL3 5BN

www.noveliciousbooks.com

HOW TO GET A (LOVE) LIFE

ISBN 9781910014035 eBook-Mobi

Copyright © Rosie Blake 2014

All Rights Reserved

The right of Rosie Blake to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to events, locales and to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent publisher.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Disclaimer

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Acknowledgements

About the Author

About the Publisher

Copyright

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