How to Drive a Dragon Crazy (34 page)

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Authors: G. A. Aiken

BOOK: How to Drive a Dragon Crazy
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“It is
not
two thousand. At least not the first cousins.”
“What about a mother who would destroy the world to protect you?”
“My mother would destroy the world for
any
reason.”
“One sister who’s been known to poison anyone who hurt your feelings.”
“She hasn’t done that in years. Not since I turned seventy winters.”
“Another sister who made one of your warrior uncles cry when he
suggested
that you were getting chubby.”
“Those were hurtful words. I didn’t eat for
hours
after he said that to me.”
“Brothers who have always had your back in combat. And a father who loved you enough to teach you to kill without compunction or care.”
“And your point?”
“My point is that you’ve been protected all your life. I don’t hold it against you. You grew up with a family that loved you and cared for you and ensured your safety while I, when barely born, was ruthlessly ripped from my mother’s arms and held captive until taken by three rough-and-ready soldiers and forced to travel from town to town, city to city, until I could be reunited with my mother years and years later—all that is not something I’d ever hold against you.”
“Yes. I see you not holding it against me. And by the way, you’ve mastered your mother’s guilting skills brilliantly.”
“I am not trying to guilt—”
“Guilt!”
“I’m done with this conversation.”
“Good.” Éibhear pulled his travel bag over his shoulders. “Let’s go then.”
“Éibhear, you’re not listening to me.”
“I often don’t, but it’s nothing personal.” He shrugged. “So . . . you ready to go?”
Izzy looked around the room. What she was looking for, he didn’t know. “All right,” she said, grabbing her own travel bag. “Let’s go!”
Éibhear’s eyes narrowed. She’d given up way too easily for Izzy, but she was already walking out of the chamber, so he had to follow.
They asked for and received extra food and water for their travels and a more accurate map of the lands. Once back topside, Éibhear said, “We’ll only have a few hours of travel before the suns come up, but that’s better than nothing.”
“Okay.”
Éibhear stripped off his clothes and shifted to his natural form. Once he shook out his wings, he lowered his body down and said, “Get on.”
Instead of coming to him, though, Izzy just stood there, staring. And staring. Until Éibhear knew exactly what she was trying to tell him without saying a word.
Éibhear shook his head, adamant. “No.”
“Then we should begin walking now.”
“That will take forever.”
“I won’t leave him. He was there when we needed him.”
“I’m not a horse, Izzy.”
“I know. I would never have asked Dai to carry Macsen.”
 
 
Gods, she was horrible. Just downright horrible. But some days she couldn’t help herself.
The dragon turned his head away. “I’ll not do it. I’ll not bring that dog anywhere.”
“All right.” Izzy picked up her travel bag, slinging it over her shoulder. “Come on, Macsen.” She started to walk. “We’ll meet you at Sefu in a few weeks or so, Éibhear.”
“You’ll never last out here if you can’t find a cave to stay in during the day. The suns will burn the skin from your back.”
“My people are from here.”
“They also travel by horse.”
“I’m sure I have some natural defense. But you can go.”
“You know I won’t leave you, Izzy.”
“Then you won’t leave
us.
”
“You can’t seriously expect me to bring that bloody dog.”
“I’ll not leave him, Éibhear. I’ll not leave my Macsen.”
“Your Mac—” He gritted his fangs together. “Fine.”
Izzy stopped. “Fine what?”
“I’ll bring . . . that.”
She faced him. “You promise not to throw him off your back when we’re in flight?”
“Off my back?”
“Well, you’re not bringing him in your claw.”
“Izzy—”
“We’re walking.” She started off again.
“All right! All right!” She heard him sigh. It did really take all the strength she’d built up over the years to stop herself from rolling on the ground with laughter. “I’ll take him.”
“And you promise not to throw him off your back?”
“I promise.”
“Or just leave him anywhere because that will really—”
“I’ll guard the little bastard with my life. Now can we just go? Please?”
“All right.” She headed back toward him, gesturing to her dog. “Take a break, Macsen.”
The dog took off and began to circle around Éibhear. While he did, Izzy grabbed hold of Éibhear’s hair and pulled herself onto his back. Once she was settled, she noticed that Macsen had slowed down until he was right by Éibhear’s back leg, his own leg lifted. She didn’t think the dragon had noticed until his long neck suddenly stretched down, his snout pushing into Macsen’s. “Piss on my leg and that’ll be the last thing you ever do with that penis.”
Slowly, Macsen lowered his leg, walked a few feet away, and pissed in the sand. When he was done, he came back and, with a mighty sigh, Éibhear used his tail to place the dog on his back right in front of Izzy.
With her hands holding onto Macsen’s hips, she got him to lie down. “We’re ready.”
Éibhear’s wings unfurled, but before he took off he said, “If you tell anyone about this—”
“Not a word. To anyone. Promise.”
“And does
he
promise?”
Izzy blinked. “You want the
dog
to promise?”
“You say he’s a dog. I don’t know what he is.”
“He’s a dog!”
“Promise!”
Because she knew Éibhear wouldn’t let this go, she tapped Macsen on his right side so that he barked. Once. It was something she’d taught him long ago for amusement. Who knew it would actually come in handy at some point?
“Thank you,” Éibhear muttered.
“You just thanked a dog.”
“So you say!” he accused.
Deciding this wasn’t the time to attempt to rationalize with a dragon, Izzy kept silent—for once—petted her dog, and enjoyed flying.
Chapter 31
Just before the two suns rose, Éibhear caught sight of a cave. It was half out and half buried in the sand near a dune. It seemed like the perfect place, especially since he didn’t know if they’d find another one before the suns were high in the sky.
He landed right outside the cave, lowering his body so Izzy could slip off and take that stupid dog with her.
“Wait here,” he told her. “I’ll check out the cave, make sure it’s safe.”
She didn’t reply and he didn’t wait for her to. She’d been completely uncommunicative since they’d left Heru’s court and Éibhear doubted that would change in the span of a few hours.
He made his way into the cave, worried it was as small as it seemed from the outside. But, thankfully, it was more of an underground cave and moving down a bit, he found some roomy caverns that would be perfect to sleep the day in. He was about to set off to explore a little more when he realized that Izzy was behind him, holding a lit torch.
“I thought I told you to wait.”
Izzy gave a light, carefree laugh. “I simply adore how you think I’d take your orders at any time or for any reason in this known universe. That just amuses me so much. Such a sense of humor you’ve gotten.”
“You couldn’t have simply said, ‘I don’t take orders from you.’”
“I
could
have.”
Sighing, Éibhear headed off in one direction and Izzy the other with her sword out. After about fifteen minutes, they met up back in the cavern.
“All clear,” she said, dropping her travel pack and stretching out her shoulders. “Not even a rat.”
“If dragons use these to rest in, vermin of any kind would be foolish to stay here. For some of us, rats are like little warm treats.”
“For some, but not for you?”
He couldn’t help but pull back his lips over his fangs. “No. There are some things I simply will
not
eat.”
Izzy got out her bedroll, spread it out on the ground, and sat down. She dug into her travel bag and took out some dried beef and her canteen of water.
Éibhear shifted to human and followed her example by pulling out his bedroll and spreading it out. By the time he sat down on it, he got a view of Izzy sharing her food with that damn dog.
“You’re giving him your dried beef?”
“I made sure to bring enough for him. Don’t worry. He’s my dog, I’ll take care of him.”
“We should have left him behind.”
“Oh, yes, I should leave my precious dog alone with strange dragons who still eat dog. Brilliant plan.” She looked up, frowned. “Why am I staring at your penis?”
“Because it mesmerizes you?”
“Can’t you put on leggings?”
“I
could
.” Then he smiled, which just seemed to piss her off more.
Her lip curled a bit, but she went back to feeding that damn dog rather than yelling at him.
Éibhear took out some of his own food and ate while he watched Izzy. She pretended to ignore him, but he didn’t buy it. Not anymore.
“How long have you had him?” he finally asked her about that damn dog.
“Three years now.”
“Do you ever bathe him?”
“Whenever I bathe in a lake or river, he bathes. He loves the water.”
“And yet he never seems very clean.”
“He loves the water, but he also loves mud, blood, shit, cow urine—”
“Wait. Specifically cow urine?”
“Don’t ask me why. It’s just a thing he has.”
“And you really don’t think he’s been spit up from the underworld?”
“No, I do not.”
“Because I’ve never seen this breed of dog before.”
“That’s meaningless. The world is filled with things neither of us have seen. Besides”—she lifted the dog’s head—“how can you look in these eyes and think anything about my Macsen is evil?”
“Because his one good eye is red?”
“What?” She lifted his head more so she could look at the dog without moving. “Oh. That. That’s just the reflection of the light from the torch.”
“If you need to believe that to get through the night.”
“I can’t believe you’re afraid of a little dog.”
“He’s not little and I’m not afraid. I just find him vile. Like rats. I find them vile too.”
“But rats aren’t loyal and they carry disease.”
“You have no way of knowing if that dog carries disease or not.”
She let out a frustrated sigh. “Leave my dog alone.”
“All right. But when he steals your soul in the middle of the night and tosses it into the lowest pits of one of the hells, don’t come crying to me.”
 
 
Izzy, disgusted that anyone could not love the beast slobbering on her leg, pulled a Desert Land map from her travel bag and looked it over.
“So where are you going to sleep?” she heard Éibhear ask her.
“Sleep?” She looked up from the map. “Right here.”
“Is there room?”
Frowning, Izzy looked down at her bedroll and immediately sighed. Macsen was on his back, four legs relaxed and spread open, his snores filling the cave chamber. It wasn’t pretty, but it proved one thing. The dog had come to trust Éibhear because he never exposed his belly to anyone he didn’t trust.
“He’ll make room for me,” she muttered, returning to her map.
“I’m sure there’s truth to that. I know I’d make room for you.”
Izzy lifted her gaze to lock on the dragon sitting across from her. He sat cross-legged, elbows resting on his big thighs, shiny blue hair falling into his face, bright silver eyes watching her close.
“You can’t be serious,” she said.
“About?”
“We’ve been arguing for the last two days.”
“So?”
“And you still want me in your bed?”
“I want you anyway I can get you.”
Izzy didn’t even have to look to know that he was hard and ready. Perhaps, she reasoned to herself, any pussy sitting across from him would do, but she didn’t know.
“You do understand we can’t keep this up, don’t you?”
“I can keep it up for hours so—”
“No, no.” Gods, this dragon! “I mean whatever is going on between us—we can’t keep this up.”
“You don’t know what’s going on between us? Should I draw a diagram?”
“I don’t need a diagram, Éibhear. I’m just saying that . . . it’s just that . . .” Izzy let out a frustrated breath. “What I mean is . . .”
“What’s the matter, Izzy? Is my fine human form distracting you?”
Yes!
“No!”
“No need to get snappy. It was just a question.”
“I’m simply trying to explain that—”
“Why don’t we forget about explaining anything right now.”
“You may have a point,” she sighed out, rubbing her face with her hands.
“Instead you can get naked and come sit on my cock and we can save explanations for another day.”
Izzy’s hands covered her face and she moved a couple of fingers so that she could stare at the dragon with one eye.
“I think I miss the days,” she mumbled around her hands, “when I used to get you flustered just by grabbing your tail.”
“You still get me flustered by grabbing my tail, but that, too, can be a discussion for another day.”
Izzy dropped her hands to her lap and gawked at him. “Do you really want me that badly, Éibhear the Blue?”
“I want you more than my next breath. And yes, it does matter who’s sitting across from me. Since I’m guessing that’s what you were wondering.”
Bastard
. He did know her well, didn’t he? After all these years. After all they’d been through. Maybe he knew her better than most.
“Izzy,” he said low before making his eyebrows dance.
Izzy covered her mouth, but the laughter slipped through her fingers.
“Well,” she finally said while getting to her knees. “You were nice enough to carry my dog. Guess I could make the sacrifice.”
“The sacrifice? Yes, it’s always very nice to know that being with me is something you’re
lowering
yourself to do.”
 
 
With her chain-mail shirt now resting on the snout of the snoring dog—and no, getting hit in the face with a shirt made of metal didn’t manage to wake up the idiot—and her bindings removed and tossed aside, Izzy now stretched across the small divide between them. Her hands were braced on either side of his hips and her mouth wonderfully close to his.
Éibhear brought his hands up, framed her face. Izzy had grown so beautiful. The battle scars across her nose, cheek, and jaw only enhancing that beauty somehow.
“You going to kiss me?” she asked. “Or just keep staring?”
“I don’t really know yet.” He stroked his hands down her face, her neck. “I like being able to look at you without worrying that I’ll be battered into a blood-covered mess by three bastards who, after all these years, still violently abuse me.”
Izzy smirked. “Funny, it looked like Daddy and the others got the worst of it.”
“They started it. I was merely defending myself.”
“You’re such a lying piece of—”
“Now, now. Let’s not get vicious.” He tugged her a bit closer, brushed his lips against hers. “At least not yet.”
 
 
Izzy slipped into his lap, her legs on either side of him, her arms resting on his shoulders. Éibhear kissed her while his hands slid down her throat and across her chest. He cupped her breasts; his thumbs brushed her nipples. Izzy groaned, her eyes closing.
This wasn’t fair. The dragon had barely touched her and again she was melting in his hands, falling apart under his fingers. She should be toying with him, using him, making his life a living hell just for her cold amusement. Yet she seemed unable to do any of these things. Instead she dug her fingers into his hair, pulled him closer.
Those big hands slid lower until they wrapped around Izzy’s waist. Then Éibhear leaned forward, pushing Izzy back, his mouth kissing her mouth, jaw, and throat. When she was bent back as far as she could go, one of Éibhear’s hands released her waist and, seconds later, Izzy felt a finger pushed inside her, followed by another. She groaned louder, her body shuddering.
Éibhear wrapped his lips around her nipple, tugging and teasing it with his tongue.
Izzy’s body went hot, then broke out in a sweat. Her hands gripped Éibhear’s shoulders.
Gods, she felt delirious. Crazed. She couldn’t think straight and felt like she had no control over her body.
He moved to her other nipple, his teeth grazing the tip before he sucked it hard into his mouth and played with it using his tongue. And the whole time the two fingers he had inside her kept stroking in and out, his thumb occasionally brushing her clit. Not enough to make her come, but just enough to drive her insane.
Izzy tried to close her legs, hoping to keep Éibhear’s hand right where it was, thinking maybe she could ride it until she came, but he stayed between her thighs, keeping them apart with his body.
Unable to take any more, she shook her head, tried to pull away. Just to get a few seconds to breathe, to calm down so that she could manage all this. But the hand on her waist moved up her back until his hand cupped her shoulder and held her in place, keeping her captive.
Izzy whimpered, desperate. She didn’t know what to do. She was confused, overwhelmed. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to be this intense, this out of control. No matter what she may have daydreamed when she was sixteen and had no idea what sex was really about, as a rational adult, Izzy knew sex with
anyone
shouldn’t be like this. Nothing should. It was too much, too good, too everything.
She pushed at Éibhear’s shoulders and he finally loosened his grip. Relief and disappointment warred inside her as she started to drag herself away. But Éibhear took hold of her thighs, lifted them to his shoulders. Before Izzy could say a word, his head was between her legs and his tongue inside her pussy.
Izzy grabbed the back of Éibhear’s head with every intention of pushing him away.
Yes. That was her intention. Definitely. Absolutely.
Too bad intentions meant nothing when faced with the most perfect tongue.
Izzy twisted and turned, no longer trying to get away, but simply unable to fight her body’s response any longer.
That perfect tongue moved up, finally settling on her clit, massaging it with the tip until he wrapped his lips around it and began tugging. By the second tug, she was sobbing. By the third, she was screaming, her back arching, her thighs tightening around Éibhear’s head until she was sure she must be killing him. Not that she cared. Not at the moment when nothing could distract Izzy from the orgasm violently ripping through her, tearing her apart from the inside out until she could do nothing but lie on the ground and whimper.

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