How to Drive a Dragon Crazy (26 page)

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Authors: G. A. Aiken

BOOK: How to Drive a Dragon Crazy
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“I don’t report to you, my lady.” And Rhi winced at that one. “And before Annwyl tries to stay on your good side—”
“I haven’t said a word!” Auntie Annwyl complained.
“—keep in mind that none of
you
can actually blend in while in the south. But I can.”
“I don’t care what bloody Annwyl says about a bloody thing!” Mum roared. “
You will not do this!
”
“Wait.” Daddy gripped Mum’s wrist and pulled her over to him and onto his lap. “Everyone just wait.” He looked Izzy over for a moment. “I’ll ask you straight out, Iseabail, Daughter of Talaith and Briec. . . . Are you planning to kill your grandmother?”
“I’d like to,” Izzy immediately shot back. “But no. I want to look her in the eye. I want to find out for myself whether my sister can be trusted with her.”
“And if you think she can be?”
Izzy rubbed her nose with the palm of her hand, scratched her cheek, then spit out, “Then I’ll bring her here to meet with Rhi.” Her sister looked over and Rhi felt her heart stop in her chest. “You can make your decision then, Rhi, about what you want to do next.”
Rhi jumped up and sprinted across the room and into her sister’s arms. “Thank you, Izzy! Thank you!”
Izzy tightly hugged her back. “You’re welcome. But,” she felt the need to add, “if I don’t like the evil cow—”
“I know. I know.” Rhi bounced on her toes while continuing to hug her sister. “Still! You’re trying!”
“You can’t go alone, Iseabail,” Uncle Bram warned her. “Although your many weapons and dressing as a warrior will work to your benefit as long as you remove your colors, women don’t usually travel alone in the south. They either travel with family members or other women.”
“I’ll ask Brannie.”
“She hates the desert heat, I’m afraid.”
“I’ll get her drunk first, and she’ll go far enough with me that by the time she sobers up, it’ll be too much trouble to head back.”
“Ah, yes,” Uncle Bram sighed. “A father does love hearing that about his daughter.”
 
 
Once the decision was made that Izzy would be going and, of course, somehow tricking poor Brannie to go along, she disappeared with Bram to get a quick lesson in Desert Land etiquette; Talaith stormed off, most likely to rant about her firstborn, Briec following her with an eye roll and a sigh; and everyone else went their own way until dinner time. All except Talan, who was still asleep in a chair, snoring.
Éibhear decided to leave the boy where he was and headed outside. He saw Frederik sitting on the stairs, looking quite bored, and decided to give him a task.
“Think you can find my friends again?”
He quickly got to his feet but almost fell off the steps doing so. “Yes, sir. I saw them heading into town earlier today.”
“Good. Go get them for me, would you? Tell them I need to see them now. So they need to put down whatever ale or whore they may currently have in their hands.”
With a grin, the first Éibhear could remember seeing from the boy, Frederik nodded. “I will, sir.” Then he charged off. Almost ran into a horse merely standing in the road, minding its own business but . . . well . . . whatever.
“You’ve been awfully quiet.”
Éibhear looked down at his mother. “I have. Sorry. Lots of things going on.”
“I get worried when things are too quiet, so I don’t mind a little activity.” His mother slipped her arm through his and together they walked down the steps. “So . . . you going with Izzy when she heads south?”
“Do you really have to ask me that?”
Rhiannon’s head tipped back as she laughed. “No, I guess I don’t.” She patted his arm with her free hand. “But I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. Izzy’s a true warrior, with a warrior’s soul. If she thinks for a minute that you’re just trying to protect her—”
“Don’t worry. I have all sorts of excuses that even she will have to agree with. They’re all very logical and sane . . . unlike her.”
They stopped in the middle of the courtyard and Rhiannon faced him. “Be careful in the south, my son. They do things differently there.”
“After the Ice Lands, Mum, I can handle anything.”
“True. But you didn’t have Iseabail the Dangerous’s adorable little ass distracting you while you were in the Ice Lands.”
“Mum.”
“What? I’m not blind. Just remember. She may not be blood, but your brother sees her as his daughter. So you can’t just fuck this one and toss her away like you and your brothers have been doing since you each stumbled out of your eggs. You can’t treat this one like a whore. She’s family!”
“
Mum.
”
“What?”
Chapter 24
Izzy was up and dressed before the two suns had risen. She’d slept in her old room in the castle, her sister curled up next to her. Before she walked out the door, Rhi stopped her and hugged her tight.
“Please be careful.”
“I will be. I promise.” She kissed both her sister’s cheeks and gave her another hug. “I shouldn’t be long. Don’t fight with Daddy.”
“Okay.”
Izzy opened the bedroom door and Rhi added, “And bring me something.”
“Bring you something? Like what?”
“Something pretty. But local. But nothing with big bows, small bows are fine. Color-wise, silver and pink are good. Or very dark reds. No bright reds. And Mum won’t let me wear black yet, but she is okay with blues and—where are you going? Well, I like green, too! Dark green! And good luck, Izzy! I love you!”
Izzy made it down the stairs, where her father was waiting. He smiled at her. “Silver and pink are her favorite colors, though.”
“I’ve decided. She’s not allowed to spend any more time alone with Keita. Pink?” she sneered. “Really?”
Chuckling, Briec leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Please. For the sake of
my
sanity, be careful. Your mother will be absolutely intolerable if any harm comes to you. And, I will definitely miss someone who irritates me so little.”
Izzy hugged her father. “I promise to keep myself safe just so you won’t have to hear any complaints from anyone.”
“That’s my girl.”
Izzy stepped away from her father and pulled her travel bag over her shoulders. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you.”
She smiled and headed toward the Great Hall doors.
“And Izzy—” She stopped, faced him. “When you meet your grandmother, think about Rhi. Not your mum. Not you. This is about your sister, don’t forget that.”
“I’ll remember. I promise not to kill the old bitch unless I have to.”
Briec quickly looked away, cleared his throat. She knew he wanted to laugh, but he was trying to be stern. She guessed she wasn’t helping him.
“Thank you for that.”
Izzy walked to the doors and pulled one open. “Tell Mum I’ll talk to her when I get back.”
She didn’t wait to hear her father’s response, instead heading down the stairs and across the courtyard to the stables.
“Morning, General,” one of the stable hands said as he walked out, stopping to hold the door open for her.
“Morning, Richard.”
Izzy walked inside but stopped short when she saw her mother standing by Dai’s stall. Dai had his head over the stall gate and Talaith petted him from his forelock down to his muzzle.
“You’re spoiling him,” Izzy said as she stood on the other side of the horse.
“Can’t help it. He’s beautiful.”
“And loyal.”
Talaith smirked. “Yes. Loyalty.”
“Don’t worry, Mum. I have no intention of killing the old bitch. I still think this is an insane idea, but if there’s a chance she can help . . .”
“Do you think that’s why I’m worried about you going? It’s not. While I’m sure my mother will be more than happy to help your sister, she’ll have no use for you, Izzy. And those she doesn’t have use for—”
Izzy took her mother’s hand, held it to her chest. “Leave her to me. I promise to be careful. Very careful.”
“And what about traveling through the Desert Lands? It’s a vast region, Izzy.”
“I have maps and—”
“No worries,” Izzy heard from another stall, and she dropped her mother’s hand and spun around to see Éibhear standing by the horse he’d rode into Garbhán Isle just a few days before. “Oh. Sorry to startle you. Just cleaning out the muck from this one’s hooves.” He patted the horse’s rump. “Isn’t that right, girl?”
Taking the horse’s reins, he led her out of the stall. “As I was saying, Aidan lived quite a few years in the Desert Lands with an uncle. So he’ll be leading us once we cross Southland borders.”
“Oh.” Talaith looked back and forth between Izzy and Éibhear. “I didn’t know you’d be going with Izzy on this trip.”
“Mum wants us to handle the Iron dragoness if she turns out to be a true problem. It’s not the first time the Mì-runach have taken on this type of excursion. Besides, it’ll be nice to see where you come from, Talaith.”
“Right.” Her mother’s eyes narrowed the tiniest bit, but she didn’t question Éibhear, which seemed strange since one of Briec’s biggest complaints about his mate was that she asked too many damn questions.
“Well,” Talaith said, going on her toes as Éibhear came down a bit so she could kiss his cheek. “Both of you be careful. And I hope you’ll be back in time for the harvest festival.” She kissed Izzy’s cheek. “Good luck, luv.”
“Thanks, Mum.”
Talaith stepped back, looked both over again, then said, “Yeah, well . . all right then.” And off she went, cutting around Éibhear and his horse to head out the door.
Once her mother was gone, Izzy faced Éibhear and stared at him.
He smiled. “Well, you ready then?”
 
 
Aidan yawned and wished, again, that he was back in bed where he belonged. Honestly, the things he was sometimes forced to do for friends . . . which was probably why he didn’t have a lot of them.
He glanced over at Uther, watched the dragon in human form stick his nose against his horse’s neck.
“You can’t eat it, Uther.”
“I know.”
“Then stop smelling it.”
“It’s not my fault he smells yummy.”
“We’ll find you something to eat once we get on the road.”
“Why are we doing this again?” Caswyn asked. Instead of sniffing his horse, he merely laid his crossed arms over its back and his head on his crossed arms. A few times Aidan was sure he’d heard snoring. Then again, Caswyn was one of the few dragons he knew who could sleep while standing up . . . and with his eyes open. Aye. It was off-putting.
“Because Éibhear’s a desperate idiot,” Aidan replied to his comrade’s question.
“That’s what I thought.”
The gorgeous Lady Talaith walked out of the stables. And, gods, she was
gorgeous.
If her mate wasn’t a clearly unstable monarch whose brothers were even more unstable, Aidan would at least display his wingspan. He’d always found there was something about gold dragons in the early-morning suns with their wings unfurled that could entice any female. But he’d heard enough from Éibhear and his own kin—when he was still forced to talk to them—about the insanity of the Gwalchmai fab Gwyar and Cadwaladr bloodlines to know that there were some females simply not worth the risk.
Although if there was one who might possibly be risk-worthy. . .
As she walked by them, Aidan saw a mother’s concern on that beautiful face and felt the need to assure her. “We’ll take very good care of your daughter, my Lady Talaith.”
She stopped, looked at each one of the Mì-runach, smirked, and said to Aidan, “When my daughter is being a general, her legion’s well-being is of utmost concern to her. However, when she’s doing things without her legion, she’ll take risks that most would consider highly dangerous. Hence the name, Izzy the Dangerous, that she’d received long before I’d met her. So I say this as someone who is sure that all of you have someone who cares for you the way I care for my daughter—whatever you do, don’t let her get you killed. Because something does tell me . . . she’s really going to try with you lot. She’s going to try very hard.”
They watched the royal walk off.
“What was that about?” Aidan asked his comrades. His stupid comrades.
“Don’t know,” Uther sighed. “But I do like that dagger she’s got holstered to her leg.”
“Aye,” Caswyn agreed. “Very sexy. I think it’s her thighs.”
“Could anyone,” Aidan asked, “be as stupid as you two?”
 
 
“Before you get upset—” Éibhear began, but Izzy cut him off with a slight wave of her hand.
“No, no. I’m not upset.”
Éibhear forced himself not to shield his head with his hands. He just knew she was going to throw something at his head. “You’re not?”
“No. It’ll be good to have Aidan along with us if he truly knows his way around the Desert Lands.”
“He does. Even knows where to find the Nolwenns.”
“And the Mì-runach as protection? Could a general ask for more?”
“I guess not.”
“Then that’s fine. Let’s get going.”
She turned and he took a quick step back, but she merely grabbed the reins of her horse and his and headed out of the stables.
Beginning to panic, Éibhear looked around, expecting to see an arrow flying at his head or an assassin with a poisoned knife hiding in a corner. But there was nothing.
Shaking his head, muttering to himself about being foolish, he followed after Izzy. He’d just stepped outside the stables when a smelly, drooling, snarling mass of dirty, disgusting fur collided with his head, knocking him to the ground.
 
 
Izzy watched her dog express exactly what she was feeling without her having to do anything. Say anything. Dagmar had to give orders to her perfectly bred dogs. But that wasn’t necessary with Macsen.
Éibhear grabbed hold of both sides of Macsen’s neck, holding him tight, but the dog kept snapping, kept trying to rip his face off.
“Call him off!” Éibhear yelled. “Or I’m setting the bastard on fire!”
Izzy gave a short whistle and Macsen pulled back. Éibhear released him and the dog jumped off his chest and walked around him, snapping at his head once more before going to Izzy’s side and sitting at her feet.
“See?” Izzy said, pointing at the dog. “That’s loyalty. Loyalty and he listens to me. I find that invaluable.”
Éibhear got to his big feet, brushing dirt off his leggings and fur cape. “He’s a
dog
, Izzy.”
“Yes. Just a dog. And yet he still manages to be better than you.”
She mounted Dai, patting his big neck once she was seated. “I won’t try to stop you from coming with me, Éibhear. But if you get in my way, I’ll crush you and the Mì-runach scum with you. Clear?”
She didn’t wait for him to answer, simply turned her horse around and, with Macsen running by Dai’s side, she went off to the pub where Celyn had taken Brannie for a little late-night drink.
 
 
Éibhear went out of his way not to look at his comrades, focusing on Izzy riding away from them. Besides, he didn’t need to see his fellow dragons’ faces to know exactly what they were thinking.
“You fucked her, didn’t you?” Aidan demanded.
Éibhear shrugged, still not looking at them. “Maybe.”
“Do you know how I can tell? Because she
hates
you.”
“It’s not hate. It’s confusion. I’ve overwhelmed her with my—”
“Stupidity?” Aidan shook his head. “When your brothers find out—”
“Let’s deal with one nightmare scenario at a time, shall we?” Éibhear snapped.
“Are we really going to do this?” Aidan asked him. “Because from what I can tell she hates you; her mother just gave us dire warnings; and you had what I can only term as a pathetic, love-sick look on your face
even
while she was threatening you and all of us.”
“Was that what I was looking at?” Uther pulled back his top lip in disgust. “I find that disturbing.”
Fed up and unwilling to talk about any of this, Éibhear strode to his horse. “Mount up, Mì-runach. We ride!”

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