Read How to Ditch Your Fairy Online
Authors: Justine Larbalestier
“See, Ro, that sounds
actually
dangerous.”
“But not fatal. Anyway, when he got out of the hospital he didn’t have his fairy anymore.”
“That’s right,” I said. Teddy Rourke was at Nettles’s school. She said he was crazy. He’d also been given a quokka as a get-wel present. Nettles went on about how he’d gotten one when he was much less responsible than she was. “It was a sleep fairy. No matter how much sleep he got, he felt great, even no sleep didn’t affect him, but ever since the accident he has to get the same amount of sleep as everyone else.”
Rochele nodded. “If you two get onto the luge track and go zooming down it, your fairies are guaranteed to think you’re going to die. Neither of you has ever done luge before, have you, Fio?”
She shook her head. “But how come the people in the luge streams have fairies?”
“Their fairies mustn’t think they’re going to die because it’s something they do al the time,” I answered. “Same as for skydivers and racing car drivers. Plus your mom says that people with dangerous jobs
do
have fewer fairies than regular people. I think the luge thing might work.”
“But I don’t want to break bilions of bones!”
“We might not break any.”
“You’re both vastly more coordinated than Teddy Rourke,”
Rochele said. “He’s at an Arts school! You probably won’t break more than a couple of bones. But you’l both most likely be busted if you do it. That would be a whole lot of demerits!”
“That’s why you’re going to go get Steffi for us,” I said.
“Briliant idea!” Fiorenze said.
“Not bad,” Rochele said. “Stefan wil shield you from demerits.”
“You know about his fairy too?”
“Please! Who doesn’t?”
“So you’l do it for us?” I asked, showing her my pleadingest face.
Rochele looked at me and then at Fiorenze.
“Please, Ro? I can’t go out there ‘cause of you know why, and Fiorenze can’t ‘cause of Danders. We have to get rid of our fairies.”
“Okay.”
“You’d better hurry,” Fiorenze said. “If we do it now before lunch starts, no one wil see us.”
“If there’s no training going on in the Luge Hal now or at lunchtime.”
Fiorenze’s face fel. “I didn’t think of that.”
“It’s okay, Fio, I said I’d do it. But remember you both owe me for the demerits I’l rack up.”
I kissed Rochele on the cheek. “Vastly. We’l be your slaves.”
Fiorenze nodded. “If we aren’t dead, that is.”
Demerits: 4
Conversations with Steffi: billions
Game suspensions: 2
Public service hours: 35
Boys who like me: all of them
Girls who hate me: almost all of them
I
peeked out of the changing room doorway and, seeing no coaches or teachers, I slipped out into the corridor. Fiorenze folowed. We headed left down the corridor. The teachers’ lounge room was down at the other end, which made it way too risky, even though that would lead us to the Luge Hal quicker. We scurried along as fast as we could.
“So, Fio?” I whispered to her. “Thanks for not saying
I told you
so
.”
“Thank you for not saying the same.”
“Your
I told you so
is much more justified than mine,” I whispered, turning the corner. The unmistakable silhouette of Danders Anders loomed, coming toward us. “Pox!” I grabbed Fiorenze and puled her back.
“What?”
“Danders, heading this way.”
“Let’s just make a run for it, then,” Fiorenze said, gesturing to the steps and beyond the field, the Luge Hal. “Go direct.”
“Go visible, you mean. The Rugby A’s are out there. We’l be busted for sure.”
Fiorenze puled me down the steps and out the door. “Not if we walk with a purpose, like we’re
meant
to be going there.”
“Have you tried that?”
Fiorenze nodded.
“Does it work?”
“Sometimes.”
“Whatever,” I said.
Fiorenze straightened and walked down the steps onto the paddock. I did the same, keeping my eyes locked on the Luge Hal in the distance.
We walked past the thick-necked rugby majors attacking large padded tackle dummies. Their head coach blew her whistle a lot, leaving the actual yeling to her two assistants.
“Stupid game,” Fiorenze said under her breath.
“I cannot argue.”
Only a few of the boys turned to look at me longingly. “Just as wel your ex- fairy only works on boys your age.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Quite the relief.”
Up ahead I could see that the main doors to the Luge Hal were closed. “Is that a bad sign?” I asked Fio.
“I think they’re always closed. They have to keep the cold in so the ice doesn’t melt.”
We walked past the main doors. It was a relief to be out of everyone’s sight.
“I’m not sure I’ve seen a luge before,” Fiorenze said. “Do you say that you go ‘on a luge’ or ‘in a luge’?”
“Um,” I said. “Don’t ask me. I don’t know anything about snow.” I nudged her. “Our fairies wil definitely be convinced we’re going to die.”
“They might be right,” Fiorenze muttered.
“Don’t jinx us, Fio!”
“Sorry.”
“Whatever happens—if the fairies are gone it’l be worth it, right?”
“Absolutely. Worth several broken bones—”
“Shush!”
We walked past Luge Hal’s growling array of air conditioners, spitting hot air at us. The solar panels on the roof would be completely bathed in sunshine. It hadn’t rained in days.
The bel for the end of class sounded. I risked a glance back and saw Danders Anders heading toward us.
“Pox! Not Danders again!”
Fiorenze sprinted toward the fire exit, with me right behind her.
Demerits: 4
Game suspensions: 2
Public service hours: 35
Boys who like me: all of them
Girls who hate me: almost all of them
Fiorenze slipped in the back entrance. I folowed, closing the door behind us. It was like walking into a giant brightly lit freezer. The cold cut straight through my uniform. We might as wel have been naked and barefoot.
“Brrr,” Fiorenze said. “Where do we hide?”
The hal was vast. I half expected icicles to be dangling from the ceiling, which was at least thirty meters up. Three winding icy tracks took up almost al of the space. The largest one started at the ceiling line. It wound around and around the hal; two smaler tracks were nestled inside it. The outsides were made of concrete, the insides were gleaming white ice. Along the wal to our right was what looked like a storage room.
“Behind the tracks.” I puled her toward the bottom of it.
“Danders won’t see us if we duck behind here.”
“He wil if he comes in the front way.”
And because Fiorenze was set on jinxing us, the front door immediately began to open. We had just enough time to scramble up and dive behind the other way as the bel for lunch sounded.
I hoped it was louder than the sound of us landing hard on the floor. Fio’s face changed color. I imagined mine was doing the same. My shins were going to be covered in bruises.
“Fiorenze!” Danders caled out.
We scrunched closer together. I couldn’t see him. I hoped that meant he couldn’t see us.
“Fiorenze!”
It was even colder crouched on the ground. I wondered if that was because heat rises. Did that mean cold congregates on the ground?
“Fiorenze,” Danders caled out again in his booming voice. I wondered if he’d ever thought about training as an opera singer. My nose tingled. A sneeze- is- on- the- way tingle, not a touched- by-Steffi tingle. I pressed my finger under it, praying the sneeze would go away. My nose was even colder than my hands.
“Fiorenze!” he caled louder this time, making us both startle.
“Your fairy is so much worse than I thought it would be,”
Fiorenze whispered right in my ear. “Danders is a nightmare.”
I put my fingers over my lips and Fiorenze nodded. But I couldn’t help being pleased that someone finaly understood about the parking fairy.
I heard the front door opening or closing.
Fiorenze and I looked at each other.
“Want Fiorenze,” Danders said in a more conversational voice.
“She’s not here,” I heard Rochele say. “She doesn’t do winter sports.”
“Saw her.”
“You saw her in here? That’s odd,” I heard Steffi say. “She’s alergic to snow.”
I wondered if it was possible to be alergic to snow.
“Outside,” Danders said.
“You saw her outside?” Rochele asked. “Or you want us to go outside?”
“Saw. You her friend?”
“Oh no!” Rochele said. “I can’t stand Fiorenze.”
“Me neither,” Steffi said. “She’s most undoos.”
It was probably the first time I’d ever heard him say “doos.”
Fiorenze nudged me and made a face. I told her with my mind that they didn’t mean it, that we al liked her now. As I thought it, I realized it was true. I hadn’t resented being with Fiorenze for ages now.
“Why you here?” Danders demanded.
“We do winter sports,” Rochele said.
“Luge and sking,” Steffi corroborated.
“We are very fine skiers,” she added, which I thought was a bit much.
“Where Charlie?”
“Don’t know,” Rochele said. “She doesn’t do winter sports either.”
The front door opened. We peeked out cautiously. Rochele was at the door, making sure Danders was truly gone.
We slipped out from behind the track just as Steffi caled my name.
“Hey!” he said, grinning. He slid his arm around my waist and kissed me. My heart soared, but the thought that it was just the boy-attracting fairy in action made it sink at the same time, which made me burp.
“Helo to you too.” Steffi laughed. “Even with a red nose you look great.”
“He’s gone,” Rochele announced, closing the door. “Hey, Charlie, Fio. Glad you made it. Guess what?” she said, turning to me, opening her eyes so wide I worried they might fal out. “They just announced basketbal tryouts! For next week.”
“No!”
“Yes!”
I screamed and we hugged each other.
Steffi gave me another kiss. “That’s so great. You are on that team!”
“Yay!” Fiorenze said. “But shouldn’t we get started? Time and al that.”
“How?” Rochele asked. “It’s not like either of you knows how to ride a luge. Pox, it’s cold in here!” She shivered and hugged herself.
We admitted our ignorance and acknowledged that, yes, it was cold. Fiorenze’s nose was red and running. I imagined mine was too. How long before they turned blue and fel off? I wished I had Sienna Bray’s never- getting- cold fairy.
“How hard can it be?” Steffi asked. “You jump in a boat thing and someone else pushes it. I bet you’l be realy good at it, Charlie.”
“Don’t we have to wear those tight suits?” I asked.
“That’s only for going super- fast,” Rochele said. “You just have to almost die.”
We looked up at the top of the longest track. It gleamed white.
So bright it made my eyes water. It started high and went on for ages. I folowed the track al the way from the top to the bottom, saw the white disappear on the turns, replaced by the concrete gray outsides.
“Wel,” Rochele said, “faling al the way down—that could almost kil you for sure.”
Fiorenze and I looked at each other.
“Let’s get started,” I said, walking over to the room I hoped was ful of luges.”There’s only twenty minutes left of lunch.” I tried the door handle. “Pox,” I said. The door was locked. “Anyone know how to pick a lock?”
“Yup,” Steffi said.
We al looked at him.
“I’d love to pick a lock for you,” he said, kissing my cheek. He fished a smalish leather pouch out of his bag and opened it up to reveal several long, thin metal things. He looked at the lock and then at the metal needle things and puled out the largest one. I moved aside and he started poking at the lock with it.
“You just happen to have that thing in your bag?” I asked.
“Lock pick. Yup,” Steffi said, not looking up. “Never know when you’re going to need one.”
None of us said anything but I could almost hear Rochele and Fiorenze thinking. It did not seem the doos-est thing in the world for someone with a never- gettingin- trouble fairy to have such a skil.
Not that I wasn’t grateful on this occasion.
“Bingo,” Steffi announced, standing up and giving me a hug. He opened the door to reveal a vast treasure trove of lugey- type apparatuses. Three of the wals were covered floor to ceiling with different kinds of sleds. Some looked like long, skinny racing cars with blades instead of wheels. Most of them weren’t nearly so fancy, they were just a smal base, with teeny rails on the side. I tried to imagine sitting on something that precarious while sliding down that huge long track. My fairy would leave me in seconds.
“Hey, aren’t these the suits?” Rochele said, pointing to racks of what looked like human skins on hangers. That is if human skins were bright golds, pinks, blues, oranges, greens, and reds, and were kind of shiny with lightning flashes and butterfly designs on them. Rochele went through until she found two to fit me and Fiorenze. The one for me was half the size of the one for Fiorenze.
“Hey! I’m not
that
little.”
No one said anything, which was vastly annoying.
“And here are gloves and booties.”
I took them from her. The gloves were vicious- looking, with little spikes al over the fingertips.
“So which one of these should we use?” Fiorenze asked, surveying the racks of sleds hanging from the wals. “I think I’d be happier in one of the ones that looks like a car,” Fiorenze said.
“I agree,” I said. “Wow, those blades look sharp.”
Fiorenze nodded. “I’m having visions of us losing fingers rather than fairies.”
“Once more with the jinxing, Fio!”
“Sorry,” she said.
It hadn’t occurred to me that luges would run on blades. I’d thought they’d be smooth on the bottom like a canoe. But sharp worked. This was
supposed
to be dangerous. But I didn’t want it to be losing-fingers dangerous, just losing fairies. “Our ignorance is helpful, right? Better chance of dying.”
They al stared at me.
“What?” I asked.
“You said ‘dying,’ Charlie.”
“Sorry, I meant
nearly
dying.”
“Now who’s jinxing?” Fiorenze asked.