Hot Shot (A Hostile Operations Team Novel)(#5) (28 page)

He frowned a little but didn’t comment, and her heart skipped. Dammit. She sighed and spread her hands in apology.

“You already know how I feel. And, yes, I want you to move in with us. But I won’t push it.”

He raked a hand through his wet hair. “It’s complicated, babe.”

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

She wrapped her arms around herself. She knew he had to be thinking about the mob of fans earlier, among other things. “I know that, but are you going to stay out of our lives because I can’t change who I am? Walk away from your son because his mother lives in a spotlight?”

His lips tightened. “I didn’t say that.”

She reached for her pile of clothing and found her panties. She knew she needed to be patient, but after everything they’d just done, after the way he made her feel, it hurt that he was still so noncommittal. “Forget I said anything. It was a mistake. I’ll buy a house with gothic touches and gold-leafed toilets and you’ll just have to live with it if you decide we’re worth the trouble.”

He caught her arms and gripped them tight, forcing her to look at him. “You’re worth a lot of trouble, Gina.”
 

She searched his gaze, her throat closing up. And then he spoke again, and her stomach fell to the floor.
 

“But I’m not sure I am.”

“That’s ridiculous,” she gasped. “Without you, I wouldn’t be here. Eli wouldn’t be here. You’re worth a lot of trouble to me.”

His grip on her tightened for a second. And then his hands slid down her arms as he shook his head. “Is that all it is? The fact I saved you? Anyone would have done it. It just happened to be me.”

“Do you really think that’s the only reason?”

“What else could it be?”

“Why did Hayley love you?”

He stared at her for a long minute. “I don’t know. Because we grew up together, maybe. Because I was her first.”

“You aren’t giving either of us enough credit.” She stepped into his space, put her hands on his cheeks. “We can make this work, Jack. You just have to be willing to try.”

He gave her a quick kiss and then set her away from him to grab his jeans. “We won’t solve this tonight so let’s stop talking about it.”

“We have to talk about it sometime.”

He straightened and her mouth went dry at the sight of his hipbones. He hadn’t zipped his jeans yet and the fly hung open, exposing his flat belly and the taut line of muscle there.
 

“Yeah, but not tonight. Let’s just enjoy each other, all right?”

She nodded stupidly. But her heart hurt when he turned away and shrugged into his shirt. She had everything she could ever want because she’d worked hard to make it happen. But you couldn’t make a man love you, no matter what you did. He had to do that on his own.

And she was very afraid he might decide she wasn’t worth the trouble after all.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

THE RIDE BACK TO the hotel was silent. Jack turned into the drive and stopped before he reached the valet stand and the uniformed man standing there. He’d been thinking the whole way back, the words building inside him until he thought he might burst. He didn’t know why he’d said that to her about not being worth the trouble, but the truth was he’d been thinking about her life, about how she had everything, and he’d wondered what in the hell a woman like her could see in him.

Hell, he’d often wondered what Hayley saw in him that made her willing to put up with the life they shared. God knows he hadn’t been there when she’d needed him most. Maybe because he was so used to not having anyone be there for him when he’d been growing up that he hadn’t thought it was a problem to be gone so much. He’d just assumed she would be there whenever he was home.

“I’ve never had anyone in my life I could trust to be there for me, except for Hayley,” he said, not looking at her. “My own parents couldn’t even be bothered to go to my shooting tournaments. When Hayley died, they were on a cruise. Do you think they cut their vacation short to come back for her funeral? No, they didn’t.”

“Oh, Jack—”

“Hayley was the only one I could count on, and look what happened to her.” And there it was, that fear that he’d lose his way again if he opened himself up.

“There’s your team.”

He squeezed the wheel. “Yes, and I trust them with my life. But if I got reassigned tomorrow, I’d learn to trust my new team just as much. It’s not the same thing.”

She unclipped her seat belt and moved as close to him as she could get with the hump between the seats. Her arms went around his neck, one hand on his cheek until she turned him to face her. “I’m not leaving you, Jack. Not on purpose anyway. You think this isn’t scary for me? Everyone I’ve ever cared about has either left or been using me for money. And since I live in this bubble created by fame and fortune, I can never be sure that anyone who gets close to me is interested in the real me or in the money.”

His heart squeezed tight. “I’m not interested in your money, Gina.”

“You think I don’t know that? You haven’t asked me for anything, and you yelled at Barry.”

“He was being a prick.”

“Barry’s a teddy bear most of the time. But no one who wanted in good with me would even consider tangling with him. You not only yelled at him, you practically accused him of kidnapping Eli.”

“If you need to rest, I’m yelling at him. And there was a reason to be suspicious.”

“I know. On all of it.”
 

“You know this is only scratching the surface, right? If I moved in with you, and you got pissed because I was in your space, then what? I’m going to get angry when you’re onstage in something bordering indecent and a thousand assholes are drooling over you. You understand that, right?”

“I think it’s sweet.”

“You think it’s sweet now. You won’t think it’s so sweet in a year.”

She sighed. “Jack, we’ll adjust. It’s what couples do. You’ll learn to accept that I know what’s best for my career and you’ll frown, but you won’t make me change my shows.”

He put a hand on her throat, skimmed his thumb over the hollow. “And what about my job? I’m a soldier. I’ll disappear, often on very short notice, and you’ll have no idea where I am or when I’m coming back. And then there’s always the chance I won’t come back at all. Do you really want to live with that?”

He could feel the bob of her throat as she swallowed. “Evie lives with it. Olivia and Georgie do too. Lucky goes with the team, but even she lives with it. I’m as strong as they are, and if that’s what it takes, then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll live with it.”

It was so tempting. For a moment, he actually believed her. Because Gina was strong and she could do anything she put her mind to. But then he leaned his head back on the seat as reality crashed down on him. There were other issues at stake, too. “Who am I fucking kidding? If I choose you, I’ve lost HOT. The attention that comes with you is too much. Mendez won’t like it. Hell, he’s probably already seen the pics from today.”

She didn’t speak and when he turned to look at her, there were tears on her cheeks. His heart twisted.

“Me or your job? Wow.”

“You see why this is so fucking hard? I want it all, and I don’t see how I can have it.”

She let him go and turned to face straight ahead. “I get it, Jack. You can have me and Eli in your life, all the time, or you can have a
job
.”

He heard the hurt in her voice and he understood it. But dammit, it wasn’t as easy as she thought it was. HOT was his life. The guys were his family. If he lost them, then what? Yeah, he could be reassigned, but that wasn’t the same as leaving altogether. “Is what you do just a job? Would you choose between being Gina Domenico and being with me?”

“That’s not what we’re talking about.”

“No, but would you?”

“If I had to.”

“That’s a lie.”

She whirled on him. “How do you fucking know? You don’t, because that’s not what’s at issue here! I can give you everything you could ever want, Jack. You won’t have to work if you don’t want to. Or you can work. I don’t care.”

Now he was just getting pissed. Because she was belittling his career as if it weren’t important. “You know, I may not make a million dollars, but what I do is pretty fucking important. It makes the world a safer place while people like you benefit from all that freedom and safety that people like me provide.”

“Then work for me. Be my bodyguard. I’ll pay you a million dollars if it’ll make you happy.”

He blinked at her. And then the fury started rolling through him again. He was trying to figure this out and she was pushing too hard. “You don’t fucking get it.”

She shoved the door open, her lip trembling, and he felt like an asshole even though he had a right to be angry.
 

“Oh, I get it just fine. You say you need time, but the truth is you care more about killing people than you do about me and Eli.”

“Gina—”

“No!” She scrambled out of the car and slammed the door.
 

* * *

Gina ran into the lobby of the hotel, pushing past the doorman and ignoring Jack as he yelled after her. She was furious with herself and furious with Jack. She shouldn’t have said that, but she’d been so angry and hurt that she’d lashed out. And now she was crying, working herself into an emotional mess. She just wanted to get upstairs and see Eli.

Jack would follow, and then when they’d both calmed down, they could talk about it like adults. No, it wasn’t fair to ask him to leave his job. She knew that. But when he said he wanted it all and just didn’t know how to have it, she felt like he’d stabbed her in the heart.
 

If he loved her, it would be an easy choice. But he didn’t. She didn’t doubt he felt something—lust probably—but love clearly wasn’t it. And she wanted love. She
deserved
love. She’d had enough of lust and she wanted more.

She took the elevator up and emerged on her floor. Fishing the keycard from her purse, she walked up to the door and swiped it over the lock. The suite was quiet when she went inside and she stopped, frowning. There was no sign of Darren. He could be in the bathroom, of course, so she told herself not to panic just yet.

Eli’s door was shut, and she expected that Cassie was in there with him. It was eight o’clock, so he should be going to bed. Still, she wanted to see him. She went over and knocked softly on the door. When there was no answer, she opened it carefully.

The room was empty and her heart began to thrum. She whirled around and headed for her room. It was empty too. She went into the bathroom to check, even though there was no noise—and stopped when she saw the body on the floor. Her heart shot into her throat as her stomach twisted into a knot.

Darren lay on the floor, his eyes wide open, a bullet hole in the center of his forehead. Gina’s legs turned to liquid. She stumbled, turning, trying to get back out of the bathroom and to the front door. She had to find Jack. He was the only one who could help her.

“Eli,” she cried, pressing her hand to her mouth. “Oh God, Eli.”

It couldn’t be happening again. It just couldn’t. Stavros was dead. His compound had blown sky-high. She found her legs and ran for the door, praying Jack was on his way up.
 

Oh God, oh God, oh God!

She ran into the hall and bolted toward the elevator. When she reached it, she started jamming the Down button. It seemed like it took forever, but the doors finally slid open. She jumped inside and pressed the Ground Floor button with shaking fingers. Her vision blurred with tears and her voice choked out in sobs that she gulped down.

“Keep it together, dammit,” she hissed to herself.

The elevator took its sweet time—and then it stopped one floor down and Gina jammed the button again. But the doors slid open anyway.

A man with a gun stood there. She squeaked and lunged for the Close Door button, but his arm shot into the space and then he followed, wedging the doors open almost brutally.

Gina grabbed the railing for support and kicked out, trying to hit him in the balls. He successfully dodged the blow—and then he leveled the gun at her heart.

“Fight me again and your lover dies. Keep fighting and your child dies too.”

Her heart raced hard and black spots appeared in her vision. She blinked them away and focused on breathing. Her hands were clammy where they gripped the brass railing.

“I’ll pay ransom. Just tell me how much. But you have to l…let them go.”

The man laughed. “You’re barking up the wrong tree. I suggest you discuss the arrangements with your husband, Mrs. Metaxas.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

“MY DARLING WIFE,” Stavros said as Gina entered the room of the private house where he was currently lounging on a couch and looking like the proverbial satisfied cat. He was wearing a tuxedo and smoking a cigar. She was so stunned to see him that she could hardly process it. “I’m so glad you could join me.”

The man behind Gina gave her a little push and she went forward, folding her arms around herself in a useless protective gesture.