Hot Shot (A Hostile Operations Team Novel)(#5) (24 page)

No, she
was
melting, her body liquefying, heat pooling between her thighs, her pussy aching for his touch. For his possession.

“Gina, fuck. Why is this the only thing we do right? God, what you do to me…”

What she did to him… She could feel it, his cock a hard bulge in his jeans, pressing against her belly. She wanted to feel him moving inside her again, wanted to strip him bare and take him in her mouth before watching his eyes as he slid into her body.

But it scared her too, this wanting. Because while she was certain he wanted her equally as much, she wasn’t certain there was any emotion behind it, no matter what he said about forgiveness and trying. For Jack, it was sex. Hot, thrilling, mind-blowing sex. But how much of that could she take before her heart simply shattered? Was the collateral damage worth it?

He flexed his hips and she saw stars. Yes, maybe it was. Maybe some hot sex was just what she needed after the stress of the last few days. Maybe she didn’t care what motivated him so long as he was hers for a few hours.

“I’d pick you up and carry you to bed, but I think my doctor would frown on that.” His mouth moved over her neck, his breath hot against her skin.

She sucked in a breath and pushed him back until she could see his eyes. They were a little confused, a little glazed. She liked that.

“You have to know I want you,” she said. “You kiss me and my brain goes to sleep while everything else wakes up.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

She curled her fingers into fists in his shirt. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

His grip eased, but he didn’t let her go. “Then tell me what you want, babe. If I can, I’ll give it to you.”

She bit her lip. What she wanted was to get naked with him as soon as possible. But another part of her wanted to be more than a body, more than a hot, mindless fuck. He could have that with any woman. She wanted more. She
needed
more.
 

“I want to sleep with you.
Just
sleep. I want to lie in your arms, and I want to wake up with you beside me. That’s all.”

“Damn.” He let out a low whistle. “You don’t want much, babe. Just to cripple me with the worst case of blue balls I’m likely to ever have.”

She dropped her gaze to his chest. It wasn’t going to be a picnic for her either, but it was important. She knew that. For once, they had to be together and not let sex cloud their thinking. Her emotions were on edge, and if she was that vulnerable, that open to him while he worked her body and made her feel like the center of his universe, then she didn’t know if she’d ever recover.

“I didn’t say it would be easy, but if you don’t want to…”

“Hey.” Jack tipped her chin up and gave her a peck on the nose. “I’ll risk it.”

“You will?”

He nodded. “Lead me to the torture chamber, mistress.”

* * *

He had to be insane. But the happiness in her eyes was worth the price. It surprised him that he wanted to make her happy, but they had a kid together and she was a part of his life now. And her happiness mattered. She was gaping at him a little bit, her jaw slightly open, her green eyes blinking as if he were an illusion that might disappear.

And then she took his hand and led him into the bedroom. He took in that giant, king-sized bed with a glance and his gut clenched. Damn.

“I think I need to establish some ground rules here,” he said, and she turned to look at him, surprised. “If I’m going to survive this, we have to keep our clothes on.”

“Okay.” There was a little frown line on her forehead, but he didn’t really think she wanted to do this naked any more than he did. He hadn’t been the only one breathing hard back there.

“And we’re staying on top of the covers.”

“What if I get cold?”

“You aren’t going to get cold. I’ll be wrapped around you.”

She gave him a shy grin that he didn’t expect, but it lit him up inside in ways he couldn’t quite believe. Yeah, he was attached to her. There was no doubt about it. He’d tried to walk out, but the truth was that he couldn’t do it.

But what kind of attachment was this? And how could it ever go anywhere?

Didn’t take a genius to figure out why they were a doomed pairing. He could crawl for days to get into position, live in conditions that would horrify her. He stayed hidden in mud and rain and filth, waiting for the target to appear in his crosshairs.

Gina owned an airplane. People hung on her every move as if she made the sun come up every morning. She’d left a reporter dazed and confused in Jack’s presence. And then there was the arena full of fans who waited for hours—days—to get two hours of her company.

How would he ever fit into that life? Why would he open himself up to that kind of attachment only to have it crash and burn? He’d been on that emotionally devastating roller coaster before, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to go there again.

And then there was the kid.
Jesus
. He was already a mess where the boy was concerned, and he hadn’t even seen it coming.

Jack had been overcome when Eli climbed onto his lap to watch cartoons. It was the kind of emotion he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He’d felt, for a minute, like the kid was everything in the world to him. He’d heard that having a kid changed you—hell, Hayley used to talk about it all the time—but he’d never really believed it.

Stop thinking.

He kicked off his flip-flops and leaned the cane against the nightstand before crawling on top of the covers. Gina was still standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, watching him. He wondered if she knew she was looking at him like he was an ice cream cone.

Shit
. Best not to think about that either.

He patted the bed. “Come over here, babe.”

She shook her head. “You have to let me put on pajamas. These jeans will get uncomfortable.”

“I’m wearing jeans.”

His worn Levi’s were soft and kinda loose though, and her jeans were clearly of the painted-on variety. Not that he minded. Plus it would make it impossible to get his hand inside them during the night. Still, she looked kinda miserable, so he sighed.

“Fine.” He pointed an accusing finger and she smiled. “Neck to ankle, Gina. Flannel. None of that silky bullshit with lace.”

She laughed. “It’s June. I don’t have flannel pajamas in June.”

“No silk.”

Her mouth twisted. “I’ll see what I can do.”

She disappeared into the bathroom. He tried not to think about the last time he’d been in a bathroom with her. All that silky skin and moist heat. He’d lost all his good intentions that time.
 

She returned faster than he expected, clad in a long shirt that went to her knees. It wasn’t silky. But there were no pants.

“Ankles, babe.”

She looked down. “Can’t you deal with calves and ankles? The rest is covered.”

“Nope. Find some pants or the deal’s off.”
 

She frowned. And then she went over and pulled a pair of yoga pants from a drawer. She tugged them on, then sighed and pulled out another T-shirt before disappearing into the bathroom again. When she came back, she was wearing a fitted workout shirt rather than the long one she’d worn before.

This one, however, revealed the flaw in his plan.

“Where’s your bra?”

She popped her hands on her hips. “You didn’t say I had to wear a bra. Honestly, Jack, are we sleeping or hibernating here?”

He frowned. “Come on, then. But if you wake up with my hand up your shirt, don’t be shocked.”

She got on top of the covers and came over to curl into his side, facing him. He put an arm around her… and kept his eyes on the far wall instead of looking down into the gaping neck of her shirt.

She put a hand on his abdomen and his muscles tightened. “What?” she said, looking up at him.

“Your hand. I’d really like it a few inches farther south, so that’s just fucking torture.” His eyes narrowed at the innocent way she batted her eyelashes.

Jack hooked his hands beneath her arms and flipped her before she could do anything more than squeal. Then he tucked her firmly against his body, his front to her back, before putting his mouth to her ear.

“Spooning, that’s all you get, babe.”

She turned her head to the side to look up at him. “Thanks for staying.”

He dropped his mouth to her cheek, left a soft kiss there. “I wanted to stay.”

She put her head down again. “I wasn’t sure. When I didn’t hear from you, I thought maybe…” She put her hands over one of his where it wrapped around her stomach. The other one was beneath her head. “I thought you’d changed your mind about Eli and me.”

He could hear the hurt in her voice and it made something throb inside him. It hadn’t been easy staying away, but he’d needed time to think. He was still thinking.
 

“I haven’t changed my mind.”
 

Hell, he had to make a decision first. And that wasn’t proving to be simple at all.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

GINA WOKE UP ALONE. For a moment, she couldn’t remember why that was a bad thing. And then she bolted upright, her heart pounding. It was still dark outside—but there was light coming from the living room of the suite. She climbed from the bed and drifted toward the door.

The television was on, the sound muted, and Jack was sitting there in the pale glow, flipping channels and looking dark and unapproachable. She glanced around, but Eli was nowhere to be seen. He was still sleeping, then.

“Jack?”

He looked up, his gaze flickering over her before going back to the television. “Couldn’t sleep.”

She went over to the couch and stood beside him. Her fingers ached to slide into his hair, but she kept them to herself. “It’s my fault, isn’t it? I shouldn’t have asked you to sleep with me.”

“I liked lying there with you.” His voice was a low growl that slid into her blood, her bones. He shrugged. “Sometimes I don’t sleep so well. Comes from years of training to be awake at odd hours and take catnaps, probably.”

She sank down on a chair nearby. “How did you end up joining the Army?”

He gave her a wry look. “We talked about this three years ago.”

“But you didn’t tell me everything.”

He tossed the remote down and turned to her, one arm along the back of the couch, the other on the side. “I had to get away from home. I didn’t want to stay in Florida and be like my parents, working long hours at jobs I think made them miserable. Dad was a restaurant-supply salesman and he traveled a lot. Mom was a paralegal in a busy attorney’s office. My entire childhood was a blur of daycare, babysitters, and being alone after school once I was old enough. I wanted adventure, and the Army seemed like the thing.”

She pulled her knees up. “You grew up shooting, though. That was kind of an adventure, right?”

He nodded. “My best friend’s dad was a hunter. He took us with him when we were old enough. Taught me how to shoot. I was good enough that he got excited and started taking me to shooting tournaments. I won a few of them.” He looked wistful for a moment. “My parents never went to a single one.”

“Then they missed out. I’m sure you were amazing.”

He snorted softly. “I was good then. I’m better now.”

“You have to be.” She thought of the men falling down around her three years ago—and the men from just a few days ago. No, he didn’t miss. It was a lethal skill… frightening even.

His eyes flashed. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“You do?”

“You’re remembering that night three years ago. You had no idea what was happening, but you witnessed terrible things. I’m sorry for that, but you have to know they weren’t nice men.”

Gina closed her eyes. It
had
been terrible. The snap of the bullets came after the men had fallen to the ground, their heads split open like melons. She hadn’t known, at first, what was happening.

And then she’d feared for her own life when she’d realized they’d all been shot.

“I know they weren’t.” She pulled in a breath. “Does it ever bother you? Killing people?”

“You asked me then and my answer’s still the same. It’s a job. I do what I’m ordered to do. And I trust that the people making those decisions have damn good reasons. We don’t take lives lightly, Gina.”

She knew that, and yet it seemed like the kind of thing that could weigh on a person after a while. “Is it something you want to keep doing for the rest of your life?”

He looked away. “I don’t know. But I take it a day at a time. I learned that four years ago when my life changed in an instant.”

An awkward silence descended between them, and Gina finally got to her feet when he didn’t say anything else. He was looking at the TV again, flipping the channels mindlessly.
 

“I should go.”

He looked up as she walked by—and then he caught her hand, pulling her up short. Her skin sizzled with heat. Her breath caught painfully. She closed her eyes. Dear God, she was jealous of a dead woman. It was so wrong, but it was the truth. She was jealous of the hold Hayley still had on him. And she couldn’t look at him, couldn’t let him see that emotion in her eyes.