Hostile engagement (22 page)

`Thank you,' she received his compliment quietly, then was grateful when he turned his head as someone else caught his attention, and as the meal progressed she began to feel better, and won some of Jud's approval by tucking in as more delicious courses followed.

After dinner they returned to the room they had vacated. Lucy found herself with Mr and Mrs Arbuthnot and managed for a few minutes to make surface conversation, but when Mrs Arbuthnot said, 'I was so pleased when I heard about you and Mr Hemming ...' Lucy felt a flutter of panic and couldn't have been more pleased that Joyce Appleby chose that moment to join them, launching straightaway into an item of gossip that had an enthralled Mrs Arbuthnot giving Joyce her full attention, and Lucy, with a silent word of thanks to Joyce, was able to drift away from them.

`Enjoying yourself ?' Rupert asked some thirty minutes

later, coming to join her as she entered the room after popping into the cloakroom to renew her lipstick—she had left it until now because so many of the other women present had repaired there after dinner, and she was heedful of the intimacies that were bandied in an all-women conclave.

`Having a lovely time,' Lucy replied, and as music began to play and people began dancing she felt a moment's trepidation as Rupert's eyes went to the blonde Alison he had been talking to before dinner. Any minute now Rupert would go and ask Alison to dance, of that she was sure, which would mean she would be left on her own. Normally that wouldn't have bothered her, but since Mrs Hemming had a seat free to one side of her, for all she was in conversation with plump Mrs Sanders who looked to have taken every diamond she possessed out from under lock and key for tonight, Lucy felt the pull to go and sit beside Jud's mother, while at the same time being afraid of what might ensue from any conversation they had. She owned she might be being over-sensitive, since she had sat with Mrs Hemming before dinner and had not been made to feel uncomfortable in the process, but ...

`Dance with me, Lucy.'

She hadn't seen Jud coming up to her and reasoned that he must have just come in through the door behind her. He wasn't asking her to dance but ordering her to, and she hated herself for being too weak to refuse him.

Jud's arm came round her as they reached the area that had been cleared for dancing and although his hold was not tight, Lucy couldn't have said it was loose either as her heart began to thump wildly within her. She tried to calm herself by instilling the thought that she was just the first of his duty dances.

Jud steered her to the top end of the room, an area that to give atmosphere was not as well lighted as the rest of the room, and Lucy thought then what better chance would she

have to apologise than now when he couldn't fully see the expression on her face.

I'm-I'm sorry I hit you, Jud,' she blurted in a now-ornever plunge. But before she could add more Jud had turned her and they were dancing into the full lighted area —she dared a peep at him to see how he had taken her apology.

Jud was looking down and to anyone watching it would appear he was smiling at her. She waited for his polite comment, for the smile never left his face, and then he said between gritted teeth, 'Shut up, Lucy.'

His reply made her angry, but since he was able to put up a show of smiling, even though that ice was back in his eyes again, she beamed a smile his way and asked, her own eyes cold, 'How else can I do anything other when you put it so charmingly?' She had the satisfaction of seeing his smile crack, and then the music came to an end.

Feeling drained from her short contact with him, Lucy felt his arm drop from her and decided to head for the cloakroom until she regained some of her poise, but her intention was forestalled when Jud took hold of her arm—she knew he had felt her tug of protest that would have been missed by anyone else watching, but he ignored it—and led her over to the vacant seat beside his mother.

`Lucy doesn't feel like dancing
anymore
,' he said smoothly, and like it or not Lucy was forced to sit down. She refused to look at him, and after seeing his mother had everything she wanted, he asked Lucy if she would like something to drink.

`No, thank you, Jud,' she answered with a sweetness he would know was assumed if no one else did. 'Dancing with you has made me lightheaded enough without the added stimulant of alcohol.'

She thought Jud was going to laugh, which wasn't what she wanted because he knew as well as she did that her veiled sarcasm was meant to be cutting. She was still

undecided whether or not she had amused him when he turned to the woman on the other side of his mother and asked her to dance.

`Not as bad as you thought it was going to be?' Mrs Hemming queried as soon as Jud and his partner were away, and Lucy wasn't sure whether Mrs Hemming was referring to her dance with Jud or if she somehow knew that she hadn't wanted to come here tonight. 'I didn't mean to pry,' Mrs Hemming continued when she could see from Lucy's face that the girl wasn't sure how to answer her. 'I just thought you might have mixed feelings since you and Jud have temporarily split up.'

`Temporarily split up?' Lucy echoed, trying to wake up her brain to do some quick thinking but finding it was still on its starting blocks.

`I'm not trying to interfere—believe me I'm not,' Mrs Hemming said gently. 'But when Jud explained that he thought he had rushed you too much, got you to agree to marry him when you were still emotionally all at sea after losing your parents, I couldn't help wondering if there was anything I could do. Would it help if you got away for a while? You're more than welcome to come back to Malvern with me if you need somewhere quiet to think things out.

`Oh no, thank you, Mrs Hemming.' Lucy's refusal was automatic, a smile accompanying her words.

`All right, my dear-I do hope, though, that for both your sakes you'll have something to say to Jud soon.'

Oh, she'd have something to say to him, Lucy thought, realising now Jud had put the blame on-to her for their broken engagement—well, it had been her who had called an end to the farce, she recalled in fairness—but for Jud to have told his mother the break was only temporary, as though once she had sorted herself out they would be engaged again, infuriated her. Infuriated her even more because Jud had put her in the position of not being able

to deny it if she didn't want to upset his mother-he knew how she regarded his mother; he knew she would avoid upsetting her at all costs.

She looked at the people dancing nearest to them, saw Jud was among one of the couples and as his glance looked their way she sent him a smile of pure vitriol when he looked at her and was pleased to see he almost, but not quite, missed his step.

Then someone came and took the seat next to Mrs Hemming and engaged her in conversation, and Lucy was relieved when the conversation extended to her that there was no room in it for talk of a personal nature.

She was glad to be able to catch Rupert's eye when she judged it was time to leave. Jud had not asked her to dance again, she hadn't expected him to—he had read her acid smile all right.

`Ready to go?' Rupert asked, coming over to her. From his face she could tell he had thoroughly enjoyed his evening.

`Do you mind?'

Not a bit,' he declared, then with a wickedness that was part of the old Rupert, 'Wouldn't do to let the ladies have too much of me on one night.' He grinned down at his sister and she had to smile back at his sauce. 'I'll just tell Jud we're leaving ...'

While Rupert went to see Jud, Lucy said goodbye to Mrs Hemming and those nearby her. Others were still dancing so she knew it would be a general wave as they made their exit, but she felt a tinge of disquiet when Jud joined her and Rupert at the door and showed every intention of going to the outer door with them. If she wasn't still feeling angry with Jud for what he had told his mother, she would have told him not to leave his guests, that she and Rupert could find their own way out, but she didn't trust herself to speak to him without flaring up, and guessed that he knew it too, so she declined to say anything as he

walked with them, mentally preparing herself to offer him a cool handshake and mouth the usual polite utterances.

At the door, however, her plans to give him a chilly goodnight were thwarted by Jud addressing Rupert, saying, The night has turned cold, Rupert-I imagine with all the cars here yours is some way away from the door. You didn't bring a wrap, did you?' he turned to ask Lucy when she knew very well he'd seen them arrive that he was aware she hadn't. 'Perhaps you would bring your car up to the door to save Lucy catching a chill.'

Rupert went cheerfully to do his bidding, and as the door closed after him, keeping the night air out, Lucy thought she didn't care very much to being treated like Jud's delicate great-aunt. He was only doing it to needle her, of that she was sure. He knew it wouldn't take very much to get her to lose her temper and challenge him with what he must know his mother had told her. Deliberately turning her back on anything that would aggravate her further, she said the opposite of what she knew he was expecting.

`I haven't thanked you yet for all you've done for Rupert.' She regretted that her words came out coolly, and not in any way as she would have wished them said, for she was sincerely grateful.

`There's no need for your thanks,' said Jud. 'Particularly as it hurts you so much to voice them.'

`I'm sorry.' Instantly she apologised, knowing that by voicing her thanks in the offhand way she had, she had offended his sense of niceness. 'I really am grateful, Jud,' she said, capitulating fully, all anger with him forgotten. `It was very good of you, especially since ...' she stopped there, realising that in an endeavour to impress on him how sincere she was she was in danger of saying too much.

`Especially since—what?' he asked, and she knew she wasn't going to get away without answering him—she should have known he was too smart for her.

`Well,' she went on, then not liking having to wriggle in front of him, 'well, you said when I asked that you were doing it for me—and I can't think why other than you feel you might owe me something since I couldn't accept your gift of my mother's ring—I ... and I—meant it was especially good of you since you have no respect for me.'

`Good God !' Jud ejaculated as if it was the last thing he expected to hear. 'What the hell makes you think I don't respect you?'

Lucy was as shocked by Jud's reaction to her statement as he seemed to be on hearing her voice it.

`When ... when you—kissed me that time—at your mother's house,' she said in a bewildered voice. 'You know ...' It .was stamped in irremovable ink on her mind, he couldn't possibly have forgotten. 'I knew then that you'd lost all respect for me.' The words were dragged from her and she felt near to tears.

`You think I don't respect you because you were human enough to respond to a biological urge,' Jud said as if this was the first time he had given the matter any thought. Then stingingly, as though he in turn was affronted that for all this time she had nurtured the beli
ef that he didn't respect her, F
or God's sake, Lucy,' he snapped, and his voice was now fairly burning into her, 'if I didn't have any respect for you, do you think you would be virgo intacta still?'

Her face aflame, Lucy didn't wait to hear any more, but raced to the door and was through it, uncaring if she caught double pneumonia if Rupert hadn't arrived to take her home.

Lucy was beset by a feeling of sadness the next day, though she did all she could to show Rupert a cheerful face hoping that by the next day she would feel brighter. But when the feeling continued not only the day after but all through the following week, she knew she would have to do something about it. She was well aware of the cause—didn't all her thoughts circulate around Jud these days? She half wished she had never met him, that he had never come to live in Priors Channing, though she felt a confused rush of denial come to oust that wish.

It was ten days now since they had dined at the Hall, and she knew suddenly that it was no longer possible for her to live so near and yet so far away from Jud. Why, she had even begun to give herself excuses why she shouldn't go out, all, she knew, because she dreaded meeting him accidentally, dreaded seeing again that cold look in his eyes that said he felt nothing for her.

She had been happy during the time she had spent with Aunt Dorothy she recalled—well, if not exactly happy, she had been able to find a modicum of peace. While she stayed in Priors Channing every time she did venture out she risked seeing Jud and renewing her heartache. No,-she'd had enough. Her mind was suddenly made up. She would get in touch with Aunt Dorothy and take her up on her offer to have her to live with her, and once she had closed the door on Priors Charming, she would see about getting a job. She'd heard it said there was nothing like hard work for getting over unrequited love, but didn't believe it—she had polished everything in sight this morning, and Jud had been with her with every movement.

Lucy decided to tell Rupert her decision as soon as he came in, but the light in his eyes, the excitement that was all around him as he breezed in through the door put what she had to tell him into the background.

`What's happened?' she asked, catching some of his excitement; she just knew it was something good.