Hope(less) (24 page)

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Authors: Melissa Haag

BOOK: Hope(less)
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“Uh, this is Clay,” I said for him.  “He doesn’t talk much. 
And this is Rachel my roommate.  Are we ready?” I asked not wanting to give
Nicole or Rachel a chance to comment on Clay’s quiet presence.

“Sure.  I parked on the street.”

“Great.  Let me grab my keys.”  I turned in time to see Clay
already striding into the kitchen.

Because of his head start and longer stride, when I got to
the kitchen, the storm door was just closing behind him.  The car keys I’d
wanted to grab no longer rested on the counter.  An engine started outside.  I
peeked out the window and saw him sitting behind the wheel of my idling car,
waiting.

He stunned me with his sudden appearance, distracting me from
a vital question with the first real look at his face and now sat in my car
ready to play chauffeur.  Why had he shown up at my door dressed as a… what? 
Mechanic?  Maintenance man?  Where did he get those coveralls?

Slowly retracing my steps, I listened to Nicole explain how
she’d made the costume herself.  During a pause in her explanation, I
interrupted.  “Nicole, if it’s alright with you, I think Clay wants to come
with.  The way he’s acting, I don’t think he’s ever been to a Halloween party
and is curious what it’s about.”

“It’s fine with me,” she smiled moving to follow me to the
kitchen.  “Are you two dating?” she wondered curiously.

Rachel interrupted, “Don’t you dare say you are.  He’s
almost never here and when he is, he doesn’t talk and he leaves early.  That’s
not dating.”  I hadn’t told Rachel Clay appeared most Tuesday nights.  Better
to just leave her with the impression she had than to try to explain our odd
relationship.

“So, he’s available then?” Nicole persisted.

“If you’re asking my permission to make a move, go for it…” 
Giving permission for her to hit on Clay didn’t sit right with me so I added, “But
I don’t think it will go far.  Just don’t be disappointed.”

We made our way to the back door and hurried to the car,
which had warmed nicely.  I sat up front with Clay and Nicole shimmied into the
back seat alone.  Clay had never answered how he’d gotten his license.  I hoped
he still remembered how to drive.

I turned in my seat to look at Nicole.  “I don’t know where
we’re going.  Just tell Clay where to turn and be sure to give plenty of
warning.  This is the only car I have for the winter.”  I added the last bit as
a gentle reminder to Clay, nervous about his driving experience.

Nicole laughed as Clay expertly backed out of the driveway. 
Listening to Nicole’s directions, Clay got us to the party in less than fifteen
minutes.  Parking within a block of the address proved impossible so Nicole
shivered as we walked two blocks toward the obvious party house.  Music blared,
ghosts hung from every tree in the yard, and I thought I saw a keg up on a
table on the porch.  So this was a college party?  It looked…interesting.  So
many people crowded the front lawn in groups that the party overflowed to the
neighbor’s yard.

As we neared, predictably, men turned and stared.  Their
eyes drifted to me, but their expressions would change confused by what they
saw.  Then they would look at Nicole.

I wasn’t the only one to notice because Nicole laughed.  “I
knew you would make this fun.  Oh, I see him on the porch.  Do you think I
should say hi?”  Still a house away, her teeth already began to chatter though
she maintained a brilliant smile.

“Let’s push our way through the crowd and get inside.  We
can warm up for a minute and then come back out to say hi.  It’ll be more
attractive if you’re not stuttering with cold trying to say it.”

Clay didn’t wait, but took my hand and guided me through the
crowd with Nicole following.  People moved for Clay and it didn’t take us long
to reach the door where a man had taken station selling cups for three
dollars.  We declined and went to find a place inside.

The bass of the deafening, but good, music echoed in my
ribcage.  Good thing Clay wasn’t a talker.  I’d never hear him, though he’d
probably hear me.  I wondered how his sensitive ears handled the volume.

He kept hold of my hand pulling us through the crowded entry
to an equally crowded living room.  Pushing his way through people to get to
the couch, he paused in front of it to glare at the two male occupants. They uneasily
stood and left making room for us to sit.  Nicole and I sat on the small couch
while Clay perched on the arm right next to me.

Nicole warmed as I looked around.  From the decimated state
of the snack table, the party had started a while ago.  That also meant the
majority of partygoers were drunk.  One guy, drunk enough that he didn’t care what
I looked like or who sat possessively next to me, caught me looking around and
made his way over.

The man stopped right in front of me, swaying slightly on
his feet.  I didn’t look at him, but watched Nicole’s face as her eyes darted
to the man.

The music decreased in volume as a ballad came on.

“Hey...  Wash shore name?” he asked, his articulation long
gone.

“Go away.”  I said the rude words clearly, knowing he wouldn’t
even remember them in the morning.  It didn’t seem to faze him in the least.

“Wanna go up shtairs?  They have a pool table,” he said
drawing out the L’s in pool table out just a tad too long.

Nicole coughed discreetly next to me, covering her giggle at
the drunk’s poor attempts at a pickup.

This time, I met his eyes with a firm look.  “No, thanks.”

He looked beyond me with a startled expression, which quickly
relaxed into a smile.  “Oh, god it man.  Sheesh yours.”

He ambled away and Nicole and I turned to look at Clay.

“What did you do?” I wondered.  Maybe some secret man-sign
for ‘not interested’.  Whatever he’d done had worked well.  I hoped I could
learn it. 

Clay flashed his teeth showing elongated canines.

I heard Nicole’s whispered, ‘whoa,’ and glared at him.  Nothing
I could do to take back what he’d shown her.  If he kept flashing his teeth,
people would start panicking.

“If you keep those in all night,” I said thinking fast,
“you’re going to have sore gums tomorrow.”

“Those are so real looking.  You have to tell me where you
got those.”  Nicole looked at him in fascination.

“He won’t say,” I quietly interjected and then changed the
subject.  “Warm enough?  Are you going solo or do you want backup?”

She hesitated looking uncomfortable and nervous.  Honestly,
I felt nervous too.

A group of guys across the room had started watching us after
the drunk walked away.  Their gazes pivoted between Nicole and me.  Most of
them just looked confused.  One focused on me, studying me with a frown.  Maybe,
this was a bad idea after all.  Rachel’s suggestion of a butt whooping appeared
likely.  Since Clay already flashed his teeth once with minor provocation, I
didn’t want to think what he’d do if the frowny man approached me.

Nicole’s bright gaze flitted around the room oblivious to
the tension I created.  Normally an introvert, she seemed to bask in the
attention we received.  I understood why she wanted me to come with.  Without me,
she would have been a wallflower.  With me, she shared some of the attention I
pulled in.  I didn’t feel used, but did feel a little sorry for her.

Deciding to speed things up, I reached out to pat Nicole’s
shoulder, wishing I could help her get the man she so obviously wanted.  She
needed confidence.

When my hand touched her shoulder, a shock ran from my hand
to her skin the sting of it strong enough that we both yelped.  I saw an actual
spark.

“I’m so sorry, Nicole.  I was just going to tell you that we
should say hi now and I go and scare you instead.”  That’s what I got for
getting all touchy-feely.

“No, I know what that was.  It was a jump start.”  She
smiled at me and I noticed the attention of the group of guys across the room completely
shift to her.  The face of the man who’d frowned at me, cleared as he watched
Nicole.  “I’m going to go out there now.  If I can’t get his attention, we can
go.”  She got up and made her way to the door.

The group watching shifted en mass to follow her while
others in the room viewed her appreciatively as she passed.  Girls who had
previously smiled a greeting now frowned or outright glared at Nicole.

Busy observing, I let Nicole’s lead grow.  Something was
wrong.  This is what typically happened to me.  Granted, dressed as a man, the
attention I normally drew had flagged a bit when we arrived, but if I’d worn
something like Nicole wore… they would be eyeing me as they were her.  Their
behavior was so odd for me to see as a bystander and not a participant.

Automatically, I got up to follow at a distance.  A sudden
dizzy spell sapped the strength from my legs and I wilted a bit.

Clay had his arm around me instantly.  I didn’t look up at
him, but instead tried to keep my eyes on Nicole as I waited for the spell to
pass.  Maybe, I’d gotten up too fast or skipped lunch a few too many days this
week.  Whatever its cause, it passed and I did my best to follow Nicole despite
the crush of bodies.

Clay had to physically shove a few people out of the way
since they were too busy staring after Nicole to pay attention to my attempts
to squeeze past.  When they did see me, they barely spared me a glance.  They
just moved out of the way while trying to crane their necks to see Nicole.  I
didn’t like their reactions to Nicole.  Not out of jealously, but out of
concern.  If all these guys didn’t snap out of it soon, Nicole would be in
trouble.  She was too introverted to deal with all of this attention.

I made it to the porch in time to see Nicole say hi.  She
shimmered beautifully in the porch light.  Randy, the guy from our class that
she spoke to, appeared captivated.  He’d dressed as the guy from the Old Spice
commercial with a towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else.  I figured
it a frat house thing because I’d spotted several others dressed like that
inside too.  As the only spice-guy willing to brave the temperature outside, I
guessed keeping the keg company also kept him warm.

He laughed at something Nicole said and offered her a beer. 
His own.  He didn’t seem willing to look away from her long enough to fill a
new cup.  I couldn’t believe this was the same Randy.  Since school started, he
hadn’t noticed Nicole once.  What was going on here?

As unobtrusively as possible, I moved so Clay and I stood close
to a railing.  Better line of sight from there.  The crowd continued to shift
around us as people moved from group to group to talk.

After ten minutes of watching them talk, I didn’t know how
she could stand the cold.  Shivers shook me so bad my head ached.  Naturally, I
leaned back against Clay and wrapped my arms around myself.  The heat of him
penetrated through the back of my borrowed flannel warming me fractionally, but
not enough to stop the shaking.

Giving up on the attempt to warm myself, I reached back and
grabbed both of his arms pulling them around me, chattering out, “I don’t feel
good.”

He willingly wrapped me in his arms curling around me
slightly trying to warm me.  His chin rested on the top of my head.  I did feel
warmer, but the tremors continued.  When he placed a hand briefly against my
forehead a few minutes later, I knew he’d heard my complaint.

“Do I feel warm?”  I turned my head around and up to look at
him.

He met my eyes and shook his head.  I lost my train of
thought for a moment.  I’d forgotten he’d pulled his hair back so I could see
more of his face and smiled absently.  He had nice eyes.  Expressive.  My brain
began to feel foggy and I knew he could tell when his brows drew down in
concern.  I didn’t like his frown.  It detracted from his lovely brown eyes. 
Chocolate.  That’d taste good.

I realized my mind had wondered and reined it in. “I think
I’m ready to go, but I don’t want to leave Nicole here either.  What are my
chances of getting her away from him, you think?”

He shifted his gaze to the couple on the other side of the
porch, studying them intently.  I followed his gaze.

Their quiet conversation of two had grown to an animated
conversation including a few of Randy’s towel wearing friends who’d joined them. 
Nicole still smiled, but I could read a new tension in her stance.  I’d been
right.  She wasn’t ready for all the male attention she was receiving based on pieces
of a bold suggestion I overheard from one of Randy’s friends.

“I think now’s a good time to s-see.”  The chatter at the
end slipped out despite my Herculean effort to keep it in.

Clay loosened his hold on me, letting me lead the way while keeping
a hand on the small of my back.  As I made my way toward Nicole when someone moved
in my way, an arm snaked out from behind me and jostled them aside.  There
would be a few hung-over strangers tomorrow wondering how they bruised their
shoulders.  But I wasn’t going to complain.  I continued to feel worse and
really wanted to get to Nicole so we could leave.

The guys in the group saw our approach and bristled.  I
tried on a rare smile, but knew it lacked wattage because I felt like crap. 
“Hi, guys.  Sorry to interrupt, but we need to pull Nicole away for just a
minute.”

Nicole quickly chirped in, “I’ll be back in just a minute. 
Can someone get me a soda?”

She took me by the arm and turned me around forcing Clay to
step aside so we could pass.  We didn’t look back, but walked right off the porch
and started to cut across the yard in the general direction of my car.  Her arm
linked through mine propelled me along more than she realized.

“Thank you for that.  It was really weird the way they were
acting tonight.  I guess mermaid sends off the wrong vibes.  I hope he
remembers talking to me though.  I liked it until his friends showed up.”

Her astute observations brought a trembling smile to me
lips.  “Yeah,” I agreed, “He s-seemed okay.  D-don’t trust his friends.”

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