Hopeful (7 page)

Every once in a while, he would glance her way. His gaze would turn piercing and she would feel a little flattered. Such vanity embarrassed her, but she supposed her reaction was only natural.

When he set his silverware down and leaned back, she checked in on him again. “I hope you enjoyed your breakfast?”

“It was
gut
.”

Setting his check on the table, she said, “You pay up front.”

“I’ll do that. Thank you again, Miriam.”

“You’re welcome.” Mainly for something to say, she said, “Maybe I’ll see you again soon.”

“Oh, I’ll be back. I’m sure of that.” He met her gaze. This time, there was no hint of a smile in his eyes. Instead, he looked at her intently, almost as if he knew a secret that she didn’t.

Any pleasure she’d felt from his attention vanished. He was a bit too strange for her to feel comfortable around. Strange enough that she hoped he wouldn’t return anytime soon. She had enough problems without wondering about his.

After Miriam got off work at two in the afternoon, she gathered up the stack of magazines she’d picked up at the library and walked down Main Street to Mary Kate’s tiny apartment above the old Ace Hardware store. It had closed six months ago.

When Miriam had first realized Mary Kate lived there, she’d commented that she would be a little afraid to live above a vacant store. In addition, the building was tucked away from everything. The easiest way to get to Mary Kate’s apartment was to walk up the alley from Main. The alley was narrow and run-down.

Most folks in town figured that the alleyway was the reason the store hadn’t done too well . . . and why no one had opened up another shop since.

Mary Kate had laughed at her suspicions, though, saying she liked the privacy.

After catching up for a few minutes, they sprawled on her floor, sipping Cokes and flipping through old issues of
Better Homes & Gardens.

The two of them loved looking at the magazines, at photos of their dream kitchens, and reading the travel section of the magazine and imagining the kinds of adventures they could have one day.

Supposedly, they were looking at gardening and cooking ideas. What they were really doing, though, was relaxing after a long week.

“Aren’t you so glad it’s the weekend?” Mary Kate asked.

Thinking about Sunday’s lunch, where she was going to have to find a way for them to sit with Junior Beiler, Miriam shrugged. “
Jah
. Though I really haven’t had much of a weekend yet. I always work on Saturday mornings, remember?”

“Sorry. I’m just so glad to have a break from that classroom. Some days, it’s all I can do not to start counting weeks until I get off for Christmas. I really need to get away.”

“Come now, your school year only started a few weeks ago. And you told me you spent a few weeks in Indiana before you moved here.” Mary Kate had gone to visit her married sister in Shipshewana, Indiana. They’d visited the famous flea market, and spent long, lazy afternoons piecing together a quilt. The idea of having such an amount of time to relax had made Miriam jealous.

“It wasn’t long enough.” Closing the magazine she was reading, Mary Kate sighed. “I don’t even know if Christmas vacation is going to be a long enough break.”

Miriam studied her friend, noticing for the first time that she was looking serious. “Teaching school can’t be that bad. I thought you liked it. Most women would.”

For a moment, Mary Kate looked like she was considering how to respond. “I like the
kinner
, but I am learning that teaching in a one-room schoolhouse is not where my heart lies. I always feel like it’s not my calling. That there’s something else that I should be doing, but it’s just out of my reach.” She paused before continuing. “Sometimes I’ve found myself looking out the windows of the schoolhouse and counting the hours until the end of the day with as much anticipation as the students.”

Miriam winced. “That’s not good.”

“I know.” Mary Kate’s green eyes turned shadowed. “I wish I felt different about my job. I’ve been praying about it, too. Surely God wouldn’t have blessed me with this job if he didn’t want me to succeed, right?”

Miriam wasn’t sure about that. Lately, she’d actually begun to stop looking toward God to answer all her questions. She was tired of all her unanswered prayers about His plans for her life.

“Well, the Scripture does say that we’re supposed to give all our worries to him,” she murmured. Then, feeling bad about feeling lost herself, she said, “Actually, I’ve been having a lot of those same thoughts about my job at the restaurant.”

“Truly?”

Miriam nodded. “I’ve been working at the Sugarcreek Inn for five years now. Though I like most everything about it, sometimes I yearn for a break.” Flipping the pages of the magazine some more, she added, “I just wish I had a long vacation to look forward to like you do.”

“I could help you plan something. You should take some time off, too.”

“I would, if I thought I could.” But she couldn’t, of course. Her cousin Amanda’s wedding was coming up in November. Just the other day, her mother asked her to consider taking the whole week off for Amanda’s wedding. Though it was hard, Miriam had stayed firm in her decision to work instead. If she took time off, she knew what would happen. She would become the wedding’s worker bee, sewing this, organizing that.

Amanda would have been very appreciative, but Miriam also knew her efforts would be mostly overlooked in the midst of all the excitement.

After the wedding was over, the reception wagon had gone back to the rental company, and the food had been eaten, Miriam knew she would return to work no more rested than when she’d left.

And probably even a bit depressed, too. It was hard seeing so many of her friends and family find love, get engaged and married, all while she was waiting for the Lord to finally decide that it was her turn.

As she glanced at Mary Kate, she swallowed hard. Maybe the Lord had given her a real friend and she hadn’t even seen what a blessing Mary Kate had become in her life. Mary Kate was her age and single, too.

For the first time in a long while, Miriam was able to simply hang out with a friend and not feel like a third wheel. That was how she usually felt with her friends who were married.

Flipping open another magazine, Mary Kate pointed to a vacation picture. In it, a pair of English girls were sitting on beach blankets next to a swimming pool. They were sipping iced tea and wore oversize sunglasses. “Look at this pair, Miriam. When the school year is over, I might go to Pinecraft.” Brightening, she said, “You ought to come with me. Just think of how much fun we’d have at the beach!”

It did sound tempting. Sort of. “You’re not afraid to go so far away?”

She shook her head. “Florida isn’t that far away. Sometimes I don’t even think it’s far enough.” Reaching out, she squeezed Miriam’s hand. “Please think about coming with me. We could stay in a little condo on the beach. It would be
wunderbaar
.”

“Maybe.” But as she imagined staying in a vacation condo with her vivacious friend, Miriam wasn’t so sure it would be the best time for her. Mary Kate was very pretty. Though she supposed she shouldn’t worry about her vanity, sometimes Miriam feared she looked even plainer and chubbier when standing next to her lovely friend.

“Only maybe?” Her brows rose.

Not wanting to admit her private insecurities, Miriam said, “You sound as if you already know you will have a good time. Why is that? Do you have friends there?”

“No. I . . . I am just anxious to leave Ohio.”

Anxious? Miriam’s interest was piqued. “Why are you so anxious? You just got here!”

“No reason.” Her shadows returned. “Well, there is a reason, but it’s nothing that I want to talk about.”

“Are you sure? I’m a good listener.”

“I’m positive. Besides, I’d much rather talk about you.”

“Me? There’s nothing to say about me.” Besides, she’d just been brushed off rather ungracefully. She wanted to know more about why Mary Kate would be so anxious to leave the area.

“Are you sure?” Pushing the magazine to one side, Mary Kate gazed at her with concern. “You forget that I know you pretty well. There’s something going on, isn’t there? Something happened and you’re not happy.”

Obviously, what Mary Kate said was true. She was still depressed and embarrassed about the mix-up with Junior. Plus, she was going to have to figure out how to convince Mary Kate to sit with Junior at lunch. Since getting to know her friend, she’d noticed a true hesitance to meet new people, especially men. That was strange since it was obvious every eligible man couldn’t get enough of Mary Kate!

Of course, she wanted Mary Kate to be happy. And with time, she was sure she would be happy that Mary Kate and Junior had found happiness together. But so far, she wasn’t having too good of a time pushing aside her jealousy.

“It’s nothing.” Noticing the time, Miriam closed her magazine, too. “I better get on home. I promised Mamm I’d help her do some baking for church.”

Mary Kate picked up the stack of magazines. “Are you sure you don’t mind walking these magazines back to the library?”

“Not at all. I’ll take them over to the library right after work one day next week. I’m out of books.”

“You read more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

Miriam smiled. It was true she loved to read. She loved to imagine she was living an exciting life, filled with invitations and scores of men wanting to catch her attention. “You make that sound like a bad thing. Which, I might add, is not a good thing for a schoolteacher.”

“I like to read,” Mary Kate said weakly.

“Sometimes,” Miriam teased.

Looking a bit embarrassed, she nodded. “Sometimes is right. I like to read but I’ve always been better at math and science. If
kinner
only needed to learn arithmetic, my life would be much easier. But all this spelling and cursive and reading gets the best of me. I run out of patience too fast, I’m afraid.”

“Then why did you take the job?”

“Because I had to.” Lowering her voice, she added, “But I don’t think I’m a very good teacher. And I’m also starting to worry that coming to Sugarcreek was the wrong decision.”

Mary Kate sighed and gazed out the window. “Plus, I’ve got one little girl who needs a lot of help.”

“What kind of help?”

“She needs a reading tutor. Maybe even just a reading buddy. You know, someone to help her gain confidence. To make things worse, her brother came up to school on Friday afternoon. We had a little conference about Kaylene and discussed what we should do to help her.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I don’t know. I had the feeling that he didn’t understand why I didn’t have more ideas for how to help her.” Sounding a bit defensive, she continued. “What that man doesn’t understand is that I’m responsible for all the children, from my tiny first-graders to my older students getting ready to graduate from the eighth grade. There are only so many hours in the day, you know.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” Miriam felt sorry for the little girl. She was starting to get the feeling that Mary Kate had already given up on her. “If you get desperate, let me know. I’m sure I’d love to read with her.”

Mary Kate’s eyes widened. “Do you mean that?”

“Of course.”

“Is there any way you would stop by the school this week? You could meet Kaylene and maybe sit with her for a few minutes? Oh, Miriam, if you could help this little girl, I’d be so grateful.”

“All right,” she replied, feeling a little stunned. “I’ll stop by as soon as I can.”

“Oh,
wunderbaar
! I’ll send a note home and say that I’ve got a plan for her to get some special help. Her brother will be happy about that.”

“I’ve never heard of a
bruder
caring so much about a little sister’s schooling.”

“
Jah
, it’s curious, ain’t so? Kaylene is the youngest of eight children, and the only one still in school. It’s so sad, both of her parents have passed away. Anyway, you’d think that one of her older sisters would be the one who worried about school but it seems to be the brother who Kaylene relies on the most. He’s the one who came to school to visit with me.”

A small thread of worry began to form in her stomach. That sounded suspiciously like how Junior was with his sister. And . . . wasn’t one of Junior’s sisters named Kaylene? “What is Kaylene’s last name?”

“Beiler. Do you know the Beilers?”

“Oh,
jah
.”

“Then you probably know Junior Beiler.”

“I do, as a matter of fact.”

New interest sparked in her eyes. “Do you know him well?”

“I’ve known him for years. We grew up together.” Every word felt stuck in her throat as she mentally braced herself for Mary Kate to talk about how he had sparked her interest.

Mary Kate looked relieved. “Oh,
gut
. Maybe you can help me decide how to talk to him.”

“Why would you need my help?” In spite of knowing better than to say such things, she added, “I’m surprised you aren’t jumping at the chance to talk to Junior Beiler. He’s so handsome. One of the most eligible bachelors in town, most would say.”

“Oh, he’s a handsome man, all right. I suppose some might think he would be quite a catch with his blond hair and blue eyes.”

“You . . . You aren’t interested in him?”

“Me? Not at all.” Looking vaguely embarrassed, Mary Kate said, “I’m not interested in dating.”

“Truly?”

“I have no desire to be courted ever again,” she said without a trace of doubt in her voice.

“Why? Every woman I know around our age is either courting or hoping to be courting.”
Or already married
, she thought about adding.

A shadow fell across Mary Kate’s face, and she stood up, brushing off her skirts, seeming to want to end the conversation. “I . . . I had a bad experience once.”

“What kind of bad experience? Did you get hurt?”

“Nee
.
”
Mary Kate wouldn’t look her in the eye.