Honor & Roses (34 page)

She had to be alone. She had to think.

There
must
be a way out of this labyrinth. If God led her and Alric here, then there must be a way. If it was the Devil who was responsible…then she might be looking into the abyss already.

What a cruel trick to pull, she thought, stumbling away from the main camp. She had been granted not one but two wishes. She married her true love, and her long lost father returned to her. Yet speaking of one joy would destroy the other.

She waved aside a guard who asked where she was bound.

“Just to sit alone,” she said. “Kindly let me be.”

No one followed her. At least they respected her wishes in that small matter.

Cecily walked on, into the dark green curtain of the Ardenwood, praying for an answer to appear.

Alric watched Cecily go. He
didn’t follow her, but he marked which direction she went, for he’d be damned if he lost her again.

He waited an hour, every moment of it agony. He saw her face when her father announced his intention to marry her off. What was the difference between the two brothers? Both saw Cecily as a pawn in their own games.

If a lady such as Cecily was just a pawn, what did that make him?

After one more hour, he could wait no longer. He went after Cecily.

The forest was unfamiliar, and the light of the day was beginning to fail. But he followed the path that seemed clearest to him, trusting that if he was meant to find Cecily, he would.

He did. As if he needed any proof of the link between them, Alric could find her in the middle of a strange forest where neither of them knew their way.

When he saw her, he halted for just a moment, casting a look around to ensure that they were alone.

She watched him come closer. Her face was serious, her eyes red with crying.

“Cecily,” he said in a low voice.

All at once, she flew to him, wrapping her arms around him. “Alric, what is going to happen? I can scarcely put two thoughts together since I saw him.”

He held her close. After her silence before her father, Alric wondered if she regretted her hasty decision to marry him.

“Were you surprised when you saw him?” she asked in a small voice. “Did you know he lived?”

He hadn’t expected that question, though he understood why she might ask. How could she trust anything now?

“How could I know that, Cecily?” he replied, keeping his voice steady. “I was eleven years old, and stunned as everyone else in the wake of what occurred. The body in the ashes wore his ring. What else was I to think?”

“I’m sorry,” she said miserably. “I’m so confused.”

He kissed her hair and held her closer. “My Cecily. Tell me what you need from me. Apart from my silence, of course.”

She looked up at him, her hurt springing to the surface. “I’m not ashamed of you,” she whispered fiercely. “I would marry you all over again.”

“Yet we cannot tell your father,” he said.

“Not yet. Everything happened so quickly. It seemed wise to…delay telling him the news. Until everyone can accept it.”

“Will he ever accept that his daughter ran off with a man beneath her in rank? I heard what he said, Cecily. He means to regain his position by marrying you to some great lord.”

“He was carried away with emotion,” Cecily said. “He’ll regain his sense. I won’t marry another! I will tell him the truth as soon as the time is right.”

“And until then, we live a lie? Where is my ring?” he asked fiercely. “I see you have already taken it off.”

She glared at him. Then she pulled up a ribbon around her neck, revealing the ring strung on it. “It was loose on my finger, and I am loath to lose the most precious thing I own. I wear it hidden, yes, but as close to my heart as possible.” She jabbed the spot between her breasts. “But perhaps I should have asked your permission?”

He pressed his hand over hers, feeling the heat of her chest and the rapid beat of her heart.

“I gave the ring to you,” he said. “It’s yours to do what you want with.”

“Alric, my love,” Cecily said. “Don’t be angry.”

“I’m not angry. I’m ashamed.”

“Ashamed of what?”

“Ashamed for doubting you for even a moment. And in a moment like this, where everything we thought we knew is proven wrong.”

“Not everything. We know we love each other.” Cecily put her hands on his, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Tell me you love me still.”

He pulled her close, with her head on his chest. “I love you.”

She sighed. “And I you.”

He felt her body next to his, and reacted in the most primal way.

“Show me,” he whispered.

Cecily’s eyes widened when she realized his intent. “Here? Now?”

“Now is when I need you.”

He kissed her on the mouth, and was rewarded with a sudden, hungry pull as his wife grabbed him by the shoulders.

“Yes,” she murmured. “Now.”

As before, it was hushed. But before, he’d had all night. Now he was frantic and eager. Her urgency matched his, and he sank to his knees on the ground, pulling her over him, her skirts pooled around them.

She wrapped her arms around him, and he had perfect access to her breasts after pulling the edge of her gown down a few inches. He sucked at her nipples while her breathing turned ragged.

He fumbled with his clothing, too eager to think about what he was doing.

Cecily gasped when he slid into her. She was wet, he realized even as he pulled her body closer. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

He groaned, and was immediately hushed by Cecily, as she put her hand on the back of his neck and pressed his head to her chest.

“Silence, my love,” she whispered. “Use your mouth, please, but make no sound.”

Her whispered words made him want to roar, but he instead sought one breast and suckled until he heard her fight to keep her own silence.

At the same time, he thrust up inside her. He found the rhythm he needed, timing his thrusts and tongue to Cecily’s increasingly quick gasps.

Cecily suddenly covered her mouth with a hand to stop her cry as she came undone. He released her breast from his mouth and held her tightly as he finished himself. When he came, he stifled his own voice by burying his head between her breasts.

“Oh,” Cecily murmured above him. Her body contracted and then relaxed around him. He held her, not willing to let her go.

He kissed the ring she wore. “Someday we won’t be quiet, love.”

“Soon,” she gasped in agreement.

After a moment, he withdrew from her, physically satisfied but resentful that he had to enjoy his own wife in secret, in the forest.

For her part, Cecily looked somewhat dazed, even stunned.

“How do you feel?” he asked, fearful that he’d been too rough in his haste to have her.

“Happy,” she said, “and sad that we can’t sleep the rest of the night together.”

“Someday soon,” he said, hoping it was true.

“In a bed,” she added, smiling at last.

“I promise,” he responded. “A new bed. It will be my wedding gift to you.”

“What shall I give you?” she asked.

“I need nothing. I only want to see you in my home, safe and happy with your life.”

“Hawksmere?”

He sobered. “It will not be anything near as grand as what you’re used to.”

“It will have you,” she said. “And a bed. What else do I need?”

Alric began to laugh, only to be hushed by Cecily’s finger on his lips.

“Shhhh,” she warned. “We are not at Hawksmere yet.”

He recalled himself, pushing away from her. “We must not be seen together, and certainly not like this. I need to get you back to the camp. ”

Nodding, Cecily stood up, and arranged her clothing back into a more presentable appearance. Alric did the same.

“Let’s hurry,” she whispered, looking around the woods. “What if someone has been sent to find either of us?”

“Wait.” He noticed the ring still dangling on its ribbon around her neck and tucked it back into the bodice of her gown. “Hide that. It is the most precious thing you own, by your own words.”

She smiled at him in the dimming light. “True. I will save it to pass on to our children someday.”

A bolt of lightning seemed to burst through him.
Our children
. The picture of Cecily as the mother of his children took his breath away.

He
had
to find a way to keep her, honorably and without fear that Rainald or someone else would declare the marriage invalid.

* * * *

The darkness gathered close by the time they saw the stockade wall of Rainald’s camp.

“How did you find the way back?” Cecily whispered, impressed by his skill. “How did you even find me in the first place?”

Alric was a few steps ahead, but now he turned back to face her.

“I’ll always find you,” he said. The deepening darkness hid his features, but his voice wrapped around her, warm and fiercely possessive. “No matter where you are, I’ll find you.”

She kissed him. She had no words for that declaration, only her desire to let him find her.

His mouth was hot on hers, and he used the veil of the night to pull her closer and taste her without regard for who might be near.

Cecily wrapped her arms around his neck, seeking the comfort of being so close to him that she could see nothing else.

The kiss threatened to turn into something more, as Cecily felt her body respond to her lover’s—no, her husband’s—touch. It mattered not at all that she’d just given herself to him. If he asked, she’d do it again on the spot.

“Cecily,” he moaned quietly, perhaps ready to ask exactly that. “Are you testing me? I have no defense against you. You know that.”

“I love you,” she whispered fiercely. “I’m not testing you. I love you.”

“And I you,” he said, taking one small step away. “But you cannot be seen with me,” he went on. “Not while your situation is so…uncertain.”

“I’ll tell him. My father. I’ll tell him,” she promised. “When the time is right.”

He nodded, his face hidden in the darkness. “You’re his blood. It’s your choice when to tell him.”

Cecily strained to see if he was upset, or resigned. But the darkness was too great by then, and they were too close to the camp.

“Come,” Alric said, regaining his usual confident tone. “I’ll walk you to the nearest gate and watch until you go through. I’ll go around another way, lest someone see us together and spoil our secret.”

She entered the camp through a small gate, startling a guard who was posted nearby.

“My lady!” the man said. Everyone knew who she was now. “Were you in the forest? At this hour?”

“I was,” she said coolly, “for I wanted to be alone. And now I am back. There is no cause for concern.”

She continued on, and soon reached the little hut where she’d been told she could sleep and use as her own while she was there.

Inside, a single candle burned, because the hut was occupied by someone who wasn’t expecting Cecily to enter.

She opened the door to see Robin standing over a narrow cot. Robin snapped around to face the door. “Jesu! What right have you to barge in here?”

“This is the women’s cottage, so what are—” Cecily broke off.

Perhaps it was the slant of the candlelight on Robin’s face. Perhaps it was something in the words. But understanding dawned.

“You’re a girl!” Cecily gasped.

Robin looked startled, then angry. “No.”

“Yes, you are.” Once Cecily saw the truth, no amount of dissembling could fool her. “Don’t lie to me,
girl
.”

Robin looked to the side, her mouth drawing into a pout. “So what if I am? Is it against forest law to be a girl in the Ardenwood?”

“No, but it’s somewhat unusual to dress as a boy if you
are
a girl.”

“For me, life is easier this way,” Robin said. “You wouldn’t understand. You’ve no idea what it’s like to be a woman when you don’t have an army to defend you.”

“You’re saying these people of my father’s…they don’t know?” Cecily couldn’t believe that.

“Oh, they’re not blind,” said Robin, more calmly now. “They play along, and some of them even forget that I am a girl sometimes. It’s when I’m out in the woods, hunting, or watching the roads. That’s when I would never dare to appear to be a woman alone.”

Cecily understood the danger Robin put herself in every day. It made sense for the girl to disguise herself.

Now that she knew the truth, it was easier to see Robin’s feminine features: the high cheekbones, the delicate bridge of her nose. Even her narrow frame was revealed to be curving subtly. In a year or two, she might find her deception much harder to maintain.

“How do you live among men?” Cecily asked curiously. “Only you, with no one to guard you? Sara can’t be your bulwark.”

Robin grinned. “Oh, I make my mind plain to those who know me. And I’ve Rainald’s hand over my head, to protect me. All the men know that if I ever spoke to Rainald about one who mistreated me, they’d be cast out.”

“My father’s word is enough?”

“Among his own men, yes. I joke about calling him lord of the Ardenwood, but the plain truth is that he
is
lord here. All bow to him.”