Honey Whiskey (A Bastards MC Novel) (4 page)

I sat across from him, his large
frame making the small square table seem almost miniscule. I’d only
spent a few days with this man, but I genuinely liked Rocker, and I
knew my feelings were reflected in the smile on my face. I waited a
few minutes for him to say something, but he just stayed silent,
dark eyes surveying me. I grinned, barely containing my laughter.
I’d once imagined the Hulk every time I thought of Rob. Now, the
image of a green monster was the last thing on my mind whenever
Rocker entered it. Rob may be huge, and by huge I meant
monstrous—he towered over me by at least a foot and couldn’t weigh
an ounce less than 260 pounds—but he was hilarious and a loyal
friend. I was happy to see him, surprised he was here
alone.

The thought struck me hard as I
realized that he probably wasn’t alone. If he was in Maine, it was
either for a job or to see… My eyes snapped over his shoulder,
searching the bar patrons to see if I could find the familiar face.
Maybe he had come after all.

“He’s not heah,
Lil’ Kangaroo.” The voice was low and gruff, and proved without a
doubt that he hailed from South Boston.

I tried to hide my disappointment
and fought the urge to ask where he was. This wasn’t his weekend to
have Sammy, and before our argument, he’d mentioned he was probably
going to hang out with friends. I’d assumed he’d meant the
Bastards. If he wasn’t here with these friends… My mind wandered to
a place I didn’t want it to be. The only reason I could think of
that would keep him from spending time with Rocker would be if he
were on a date. I hated that I was that insecure, and that I would
automatically assume the worst. But, I had told him to move on, and
Matty was who he was.

I definitely hadn’t made the
greatest choices over the past few months, especially where Matt
was concerned, so it was probably a good thing that he wasn’t here.
I wasn’t sure how to tell him about all the changes I’d made or
even how to explain what I was feeling. Part of me had been so sure
he would show up though, because Matty was always there when I
needed him. Or, at least, he always used to be. Regret settled in
my gut and I closed my eyes, trying to make the sudden nausea go
away.

“Jesus, Joey,
you ah wicked pale. Did you eat suppah before you came out and
decided to get shitfaced?” The irritation in his voice surprised
me, and I snapped open my eyes to find him glaring at me.

I would probably never get used to that gruff
attitude that seemed to be ever present in these crazy Bastard
boys. They were either ordering me around, telling me exactly how
to live my life, or bitching about how I lived it. They all seemed
to have the need to lecture me constantly about the dumbest stuff
and jump to conclusions. This time, Rob was way off. I took a deep
breath and raised an eyebrow.

“No,” I started slowly, “I haven’t
had anything to eat yet. I was…” I cleared my throat, searching for
words, “busy before we came out, and we’re going out for breakfast
after we leave here.” I paused while Rob swore and muttered
something sexist about women like me not being able to take care of
themselves. I chuckled and then started to talk over him. “As for
being shitfaced, the last time I checked, you can’t get drunk off
water. I guess we can always check with Fred to make sure that’s
all that’s been in my drinks.”

“
Wait… what?” Rob stopped short,
shaking his head as if he didn’t believe me. “Watah? You’re tellin’
me you’ve only been drinking watah? Not countin’ all the shots,
right? I think you are forgettin’ that I saw you out there
dancin’.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I kinda figured
that when you came up behind me and started to cuddle.” I couldn’t
help the giggle that escaped. “It’s called having a good time,
silly. You should try it. It’d do you some good. I’m letting loose
and having a good time, yes. But, I am painfully sober.”

Rocker sat back, his dark eyes traveling all
over my face as if trying to decide if I was lying. “You must be
wicked hungry.” His tongue wet his bottom lip. “I haven’t had
anything either. Is there anywhere near heah where we could
go?”

I nodded without really thinking about it.
“There’s the Little Hole in the Wall down the street. Do you like
Mexican?” I asked, not sure if I wanted him to say no or not. He
nodded

“Let’s go then.” He must have seen
my hesitation because he gave me a toothy smile. “I’ll bring ya
back in one piece.” I looked over his shoulder, trying to see where
my friends were dancing. They didn’t seem to miss me, all having a
good time swaying with each other on the floor. I shrugged and then
nodded. Why not? Rob stood suddenly, reaching out and pulling me to
my feet. “I’ve gotta tell the boys, then we’ll go.”

The boys? I took a deep breath. I didn’t know
which ones were here, but I was pretty sure that I wasn’t up to
facing any of them. Most of Matty’s friends hadn’t liked me to
begin with, and after the way things ended, I was positive they
hated me. I tugged back on Rocker’s hand. “I’ll stay here and wait
for you.”

Rob turned back to me, his dark
thick eyebrows raised in silent question. “The hell you will!” he
growled, tightening his hold on my wrist as if I was going to run
away and dragging me behind him towards the bar.

“
Wait!” I tried to pull my hand
away again. “I need to tell my friends that I’m
leaving.”

Rocker stopped suddenly, turning.
“Friends?” he sneered. “They never once came over to check on you,
to make sure you were ok with me. Those aren’t friends.” He turned
back just as abruptly and pulled me to the bar.

Hawk shook his head when he saw me
trailing behind Rob, but did offer a smile and said hello. He
didn’t hide the look of shock on his face when Rocker told him we
would be back before closing. Even though I couldn’t hear the words
he whispered to Rob, I was positive he was pissed at the idea.
Within seconds, though, we were outside in the cold early spring
air, and Rocker was pulling me through the parking lot, stopping
suddenly at a giant black Ford.

“
This is your truck?”

He only offered me a nod as he unlocked the
front door, pulling it open for me. I eyed the tall step, wondering
if I could make it up in the dangerously high heels and tight jeans
Teagan had convinced me to wear with them. I must have hesitated a
second too long because Rocker’s hands grabbed my hips and he
lifted me up as if I didn’t weigh a quarter of what I
did.

“
Yeah, it’s mine.” He shrugged as
he turned. “Big Little Man Syndrome,” he offered as he shut the
door. I contemplated his words as he walked around the front of the
obtrusive vehicle. Little Man Syndrome, or Napoleon Syndrome, I
knew, but Big Little Man Syndrome was lost on me. I reached over
and opened his door, not sure if I wanted to know what he
meant.

He laughed at my look as he slid
into the driver’s seat. Raising a single eyebrow, he held up his
half-bent pinky finger. “Ya know, the luck o’ the Irish?” His voice
took on a Celtic accent that was spot on. I just wasn’t getting it.
What did the luck of the Irish have to do with anything? I was
about to ask when he burst out laughing. “Jesus, Joey, you fuckin’
kill me!” He cleared his throat and tipped his head. “I guess you
would say that I’m over compinsatin’ for life’s short
comings.”

Holy shit! As realization hit me,
I could feel my face flame and I started to giggle. Leaning my head
back, I stared at the ceiling, letting the laughs subside. “But
what does that have to do with the luck of the Irish? Wouldn’t
life’s, um…” I cleared my throat, “short comings be bad luck, not
good?”

Rocker didn’t just laugh at me
that time, he tipped his head back and howled. I didn’t want to
join him, but it was too hard not to. When he finally got control,
he wiped his eyes and looked at me with a smirk. “Lil’ Kangaroo,
the Irish have the worst luck of any people ever. When someone says
they have the luck of the Irish, it means they’re anything but
lucky. I’m Irish to the core, third generation American, but as
Irish as they come. Matty likes to tell people I drive a big truck
to make up for the fact that I have a little dick.” He shrugged.
“Big Little Man Syndrome.” He turned to look at me, smiling. “So,
where is this place?”

My face flamed red, and I was
relieved he couldn’t see me. I gave him directions as he turned the
key and the beast of a truck roared to life. A few minutes later,
he pulled into the tiny parking lot. “Little Hole in the Wall?” he
asked, reading the hand painted sign on the side of the building.
“I thought you were telling me that this place was just a crappy
little restaurant, a dump. Not that it was the actual
name.”

I smiled as I opened my door. “It looks
sketchy, but it’s the best Mexican food around.”

The tiny, dimly lit restaurant was
almost empty. The only other patrons were a young couple huddled
together at the corner table. We ordered, Rob refusing to let me
pay, and then sat by the window to wait for our food. I was about
to ask him how he’d been over the last few months when he broke the
silence.

“
What in the hell are you doing,
Joey?”

I stopped trying to fold the napkin into
different shapes and glanced up, the look on his face confusing me.
“Sorry?”

He scowled, looking away. “With
your life, Lil’ Kangaroo. Why in the hell are you dressed like
that? Why are you out with people like that?” He nodded his head
towards the window. He didn’t say, ‘instead of with Matty’ but he
didn’t have to. I knew exactly what he meant. “He’s fuckin’
miserable, you know that, right?” His voice dropped like he didn’t
want to say the last few words.

There was no reason to lie. “I was
saying goodbye.” Confusion crossed his features. “I’ve made some
seriously screwed up decisions over the last few months, Matty
included,” Rocker nodded his agreement eagerly, and I narrowed my
eyes at him, “and I needed to start over.” I paused, trying to
figure out how to explain it. “One morning, after the divorce was
final, I was lying in bed feeling sorry for myself. I had gone from
having everything to practically nothing in a matter of weeks.
Hell, I don’t even have my own apartment. When I’m not with the
kids I stay with a friend. I only have my kids two weeks out of the
month, so for the other two weeks the only thing that kept me going
was a job I dreaded going to.” I took a sip of my Coke. “I realized
that morning that this was a chance for me to find myself, to start
over and do things right this time. So, I did.”

Rocker leaned forward onto the table. “And
what did you do?”

The food arrived, saving me from
answering. I dug into my enchilada quickly, almost moaning at the
taste. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was. If Rocker heard me, he
didn’t say anything. But, then, he was too busy shoveling his food
into his mouth to notice much of anything. We ate in comfortable
silence.

It wasn’t long before Rocker sat
back and smiled. “You were right. Best Mexican evah.” He finished
off his soda and then met my eyes. “So, you gonna tell me this big
thing you’re celebrating?”

“I decided I didn’t want to be a
caseworker anymore, that I needed something more me. So, I applied
to and surprisingly got accepted into grad school. But, I had to
take some undergrad refresher courses this semester, just to be
prepared next fall.” Rocker looked disappointed, as if he thought
my life change was going to be much more interesting. I swallowed
my smile. “I talked to Will and he was on board. He thought I
should focus on the kids and school, not work. So, I quit my job.”
I nodded as he frowned. “I’m actually going down to your neck of
the woods tomorrow to look at apartments. I’d like to start moving
no later than Monday because commuting all the time sucks, and I
need to find a part-time job.”

“
My neck of the woods?” I nodded.
“Why?” His brows knit together. “Joey, where in the hell aah you
goin’ to school?”

“
Boston College. They have the
best psych grad program around.” I smiled at the blank look on his
face. “Yes, Rocker. I’m moving to Boston.”

“Holy shit.” He dragged out the
words in complete surprise. “Faack, Joey.” Then the surprise turned
to a look I couldn’t read. “You haveta tell Matty.”

Chapter 4

Jo

I wasn’t sure how long we’d sat in
front of Hooligan’s Pub, but the silence made it feel like hours. I
didn’t know what to say to him, but since he’d left the truck
running, the heater on, and hadn’t attempted to leave, I could tell
he didn’t want me to head back into the bar yet. I was more than
happy to sit there in the quiet, avoiding life for a few more
minutes.

Rocker was right. I did have to
tell Matty, because I didn’t want him to find out from someone
else. Things with Matty were still so screwed up, and I knew I
couldn’t just pick up the phone and tell him I was moving to the
one city he wanted me to stay away from. But, if he found out from
anyone other than me that I had quit my job, the job he valued, and
that I was moving to a city he thought was dangerous, he’d be
furious. No matter how he found out, I knew Matty was going to be
livid and wonder why I hadn’t told him before now, and why I had
kept it a secret for so long. Especially when I was so adamant that
we should tell each other everything.