Honey Whiskey (A Bastards MC Novel) (28 page)

Matty laughed happily, as if he
was beyond pleased with himself, and never missed a beat as he
slammed into me over and over at alarmingly fast speeds. Biting my
shoulder roughly, I heard his own moans of ecstasy. Even though
they were muted some by my skin, they were hot and mixed with his
still steady pounding, I came again, making even more
noise.

“Fuckin’ Christ,
baby girl! Those sounds undo me, every single time.” I groaned as
he pulled out, realizing how sore I was, and then let go of the
headboard and turned over. I needed to touch him. Dropping onto his
back, head next to mine on the pillow, he seemed happy to let my
fingers roam. Within minutes though, once his lungs had a chance to
catch up, Matty turned onto his side, propped up on an elbow,
captured my hand in his, and looked down at me.

Normally I’d want to hide, knowing
that the cellulite on my thighs and the stretch marks on my belly
were giant turnoffs. But the look in his eyes held only love, and I
watched in wonder as his fingers trailed down over my body, around
my belly button, and then over the roundness of my lower tummy.
Keeping his hand there, cupping my Buddha belly, he leaned over and
gave me a kiss that could melt the polar ice caps.

“
Do you have any idea how much you
glow when you’re pregnant?”

Romantic mood gone, I sat up on my
elbows and watched him cautiously. “Matty?” Wow. I wasn’t sure what
to say. Did marriage suddenly come with more children? Because I
was very sure that we’d agreed we were both too old to start over,
and he’d gotten a vasectomy for Taylor.

His eyes flicked to mine for just
a second before they looked back to my stomach, as if mesmerized.
“Just because we can’t have babies doesn’t mean I don’t wish we
could.” His fingers traced one of my faded lines, souvenirs of
being a mom. “Did you know that you are to blame for Sam?” My
forehead wrinkled, and I wondered if he’d been drinking while he’d
been out in the great room. He didn’t notice, too busy following my
marks as if they were going to lead him to the largest gold mine
ever found.

“I wasn’t sure I even wanted to
have kids. But watching you carry Ben, seeing how your belly grew a
little bit every week and how much you radiated happiness—that did
something to me. When you pulled my hand here,” he pressed two
fingers into my lower abdomen, “and made me feel him kick, I was a
goner.” He smiled at me. “From that moment on, I wanted nothing
more than to be a dad.”

Fingers moved again, tickling as
he danced them to the other side. “Then, with Lily, I watched you
glow all over again, expanding a little more and more every day as
you housed a life. At that point, I didn’t want to just be a dad—I
wanted to be her dad.” My heart paused, his words having more of an
effect than they should. “I would give anything to watch you grow a
miracle that we created together.”

“Matty.” My voice was soft, and I
was almost afraid to admit the next part. “I don’t want any more
kids.”

He looked up and smiled wishfully.
“I don’t either, Joes. I wish we’d figured us out ten years ago. We
could have had a baseball team by now.” He let his hand slip off me
and gave me a quick peck before pushing himself off the bed. “Come
take a shower with me. We have somewhere to be.”

And then he was striding away. I
watched his naked back, full of ink, head into the bathroom. What
in the hell had that been about?

Chapter 26

Jo

“Go on in, babe. I’m right here.”
Matty held the ropes apart so I could climb up into the ring with
Nick. I felt like an idiot in all the protective gear I had on, and
I was still reeling about the fact that I was even here. When Matty
had told me we had somewhere to be, the gym was the last place I
had imagined. After Rob’s reaction to Cris bringing me here, I
never expected Matt to agree to it, let alone arrange a private
session.

Here I was, though. Nick smiled
that killer smile of his and went over what we were doing once
more. Self-defense was more about avoiding a hit than it was
anything else.

“Don’t stand still,” Nick
instructed. “A moving target is harder to hit. Someone comes after
you, you’re gonna wanna freeze or back into the wall. First gut
reaction. But don’t do it. Move.”

He also showed me the pressure
points to target—eyes, nose, throat, knees and groin. If I’m backed
into a wall, he said, I was to use my knees, elbows, fingers, and
feet, and aim at those pressure points. The goal was not to kill,
but to get the attacker down long enough for me to get away. He had
me practice by cornering me and having me try to get by
him.

Next, he taught me how to take a
punch. Unfortunately, instructions can only go so far. After he’d
walked my body through each maneuver, and reminded me to constantly
keep my eyes on my attacker so I could react appropriately to where
the hit would land, he asked me if I was going to be ok with him
hitting me. Was I? I hesitated for a minute too long. He looked
relieved and suggested we leave this part of the lesson for another
time. I shook my head—I wanted it now.

The stomach hit drove me back into
the ropes and earned me a nasty remark from him about paying
attention, keeping my eyes on him, and tightening my stomach
muscles. I not only didn’t tense up, I didn’t roll with the punch
or keep my balance. Epic fail.

The next few blows weren’t much
better. My cheek had started to bleed and my lip felt puffy. My
side ached when I took a deep breath, and my eyes watered from the
pain I felt all over the rest of me. But, I refused to give up.
Each time Nick knocked me to my knees, I got back on my feet and
faced him for more. He was taking it easy on me. An attacker would
not.

For the first part of the session,
Matty stood patiently next to the ring. Every so often he’d holler
words of encouragement to me or shout something to Nick, asking him
to remember to show me another technique. Now, though, he seemed to
be struggling. He hadn’t said anything in a long time, other than
asking if I was ok after the first hit to my gut.

At one point, after I didn’t avoid
an elbow to my cheek and I’d fallen flat on my ass, I’d glanced his
way. He had his back to the ring and was leaning over, hands on his
knees, as if trying to catch his breath. The next time I snuck a
peek was after I forgot to keep my chin down and I’d gotten jabbed
so hard it made my teeth snap on my tongue. The enraged look on his
face terrified me, and I turned away quickly.

I don’t know how long Nick beat
the shit out of me, but if felt like it lasted years. I wasn’t even
sure I was getting any better or if poor Nick was just taking it
even easier on me than he had when we started. Every part of my
body was begging my mind for a break when Cris started yelling to
me.

“Jesus, Jo, move! Just because
he’s showing you how to get your ass handed to you doesn’t mean you
should make it easy on him!” I didn’t have time to acknowledge her,
but relief washed over me. I knew this was all just pretend and
that I could tell Nick to stop at any time, but knowing I wasn’t
alone was a good feeling. “Watch him! Keep your eyes glued to his
every movement!” she screamed.

As Nick advanced, she walked me
through what to do. Slide right. Duck. When he closed in on me
again, she told me to watch his hands, move and react. I jerked my
head to the left, throwing all my weight onto that foot, and aimed
my heel for his knee. Nick stumbled back, surprised, while Cris
shouted excitedly on the floor behind us.

“
That’s it! Fight
back!”

Nick smiled and shrugged. “I think that’s a
good way to end our first class, don’t you?”

I nodded, groaning when even that
hurt, and climbed out of the ring. I looked everywhere, but my
fiancé seemed to be missing. “Where’s Matty?”

Cris grinned. “I sent him outside. Wicked
sore?”

I didn’t even bother to nod, just closed my
eyes. “I think my bruises have bruises.” She gave me an
understanding look and pulled me towards the back.

I was too tired to object when she removed all
my gear for me and then stripped off my tank top and shorts. There
was no doubt in my mind that I’d never be able to get my arms to
cooperate enough to get the shirt over my head. Then, she stepped
into a cool shower with me and helped me wash the blood and sweat
away. The temperature was frigid, and I wanted to ease my aches and
pains with heat, but she insisted cold was better.

As soon as I was clean, she snapped off the
water and led me to a table. “I need to rub you down. It’ll help,
you’ll see. Plus, I need to make sure nothin’s broken.”

Expert fingers trailed over my
body, rubbing gently at the spots where I was still tense and
inspecting each and every bruise. Not only was I exhausted from the
workout, but her hands were soothing, and I had to fight to stay
awake.

“
Why’d you send Matty
outside?”

Cris snorted. “Really?” I waited
for her to continue. “My brothah is many things, Jo, but a
bystandah is not one of ‘em. He has the white knight complex. If
someone is in trouble, he has a psychological need to save ‘em.”
She laughed.

“He still has a hard time comin’
to my fights, and I could kick his ass in the ring. I think
watching the woman he loves gettin’ beat to a bloody pulp was a
little more than he bargained for. I was half-convinced that he was
gonna jump in there and rip Neo to shreds.”

I groaned, rolling my eyes. “This was his
idea, not mine.”

“Right. So, he was not only
watchin’ you take a beatin’ and not able to help, but it was him
that put you there to begin with. He needed a time out. I’m glad
Neo called me before you guys got here.”

That made sense. I’d have to make
sure Matty knew how much I appreciated his self-restraint. “Oh! How
was your weekend away?” Closing my eyes again, I let her hands do
their magic as she gave me all the amazing details.

She sounded like a girl falling in
love—a very happy and spoiled girl that was realizing the man she
was dating could actually be something more than an occasional
date. It was so different than her normal view on relationships
that I knew something must have changed over the last few days. I
didn’t tell her I’d gone to the dinner in her place, or that I knew
why she started dating Caleb, and I didn’t mention Rob. Cris
deserved to be happy, and I didn’t want to be the one that took it
away from her.

My injuries weren’t that bad. I
was sore, yeah, but my ribs weren’t broken. My lip was a little
swollen, but I could easily cover it with dark lipstick. My cheek
was the worst. The crack in my skin was bright red and stood out on
my pale skin, even though it looked worse than it felt. Cover up
was an option, but it was too sore to touch, so I bought big
sunglasses that covered it instead.

Matty refused to go anywhere
with me. Well, he insisted on going everywhere with me, but
wouldn’t hold my hand or cuddle me in public. He said my face
looked like I was a battered woman, and that people would assume
he’d beaten me. I rolled my eyes and asked what kind of idiot would
automatically come to that conclusion, considering I could have had
an accident of some sort. The look he gave me made it clear
that
he
was that kind of an idiot. So, whenever we left the
apartment, he was more like an annoying shadow that would shake his
head when I tried to talk to him. If secret service agents were
like that, I felt bad for the president and his
family.

It was actually nice having Matty
around all the time. When he’d told me he’d taken a leave of
absence from work, I’d panicked. I didn’t want to be the reason he
lost a job he loved, and I was worried about being with him
twenty-four seven. The last time we’d lived together hadn’t exactly
ended well. Not to mention the fact that we’d gone from barely
talking on the phone to engaged and living together in a little
over a week. Really? Who does something that rash?

Matty and me.

We spent every second we could
together. I had class and then my one-on-ones with Nick. Matty had
to drive back to Maine to meet with his boss and go to Sammy’s
games, and then he had a ton of meetings at the clubhouse. But
other than that, we were together. Sometimes he’d just sit and hold
me while I studied, and sometimes we’d sit on the roof, enjoying
the sun while catching up and laughing like we used to. And then
other times he’d pull me out to the bike and we’d ride for hours.
If possible, I’d fallen in love with him a little more every
day.

The need for answers was always in
the back of my mind. Every time I thought about suggesting we sit
down and have a serious conversation, though, something important
came up or Matty would smile and I’d talk myself out of it. What
would a few days really hurt? I wanted to think that we were strong
enough to handle anything, but an engagement ring on another woman
was a big thing to forget to tell your current fiancé, and maybe we
needed the extra time to fortify our relationship. Pushing the
nerves away, I focused on our happiness.

The days merged into a blur as
time flew. We were cuddling on the roof, Matty lying with his head
on my lap, feet dangling over the edge of the couch, enjoying the
late afternoon sun on Thursday, when reality hit. As much as I was
looking forward to seeing my kids, and I missed them more than
words could explain, I didn’t want to leave Matty. I brushed the
hair off his forehead and pressed my lips against his
skin.