Authors: Merrillee Whren
Taking in Elise's statement, Seth didn't say anything for a moment. She was probably comparing him to his father and thinking he didn't measure up. “My dad was definitely someone to look up to, but he didn't take credit for himself. He gave God the credit.”
“A good thing to do.”
“Before my father's death, I didn't have much use for God. You were aware of that.”
Elise nodded, sorrow in her eyes. “You made that pretty clear.”
Seth sighed. “Yeah. I thought my parents and their religion were old-fashioned. Who needed God?”
“So you're saying you changed your mind when your father died?”
“His death made me think about my own life. I started
attending church with my mother, because it was important to her. I wanted to do whatever I could to help her with her grief. And in the process, and much to my surprise, I became a believer.”
“I'm glad to hear that.” She stood and turned toward the window, refusing to look at him. “Now tell me about Olivia.”
Seth sensed Elise's withdrawal as she gazed out the window. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes. Just get on with your story.”
“Please sit down again.”
Turning to look at him, she shrugged. “If that's what you want.”
“I do.”
“I'm listening.” She sat, her posture tense again.
“When I became a Christian, I realized I'd lived a very self-centered life.” Seth tried to gauge Elise's reaction to his statement, but she appeared unmoved. He wasn't sure what to make of her lack of response. “I knew I had to try to make amends. To forgive those who had wronged me and seek forgiveness from the people I'd treated badly in return. Especially you and Sophie. I needed to let her know that I'd forgiven her for her deception. I also wanted to find out if I really was a father. I'd refused to even consider the idea before, but once I let go of my anger, I realized there was a real chance that I was Olivia's father. I tried to contact both of you.”
“So that's why you've been calling me?”
“Yes.”
But you wouldn't talk to me.
He wanted to say that, but right now those words would probably only alienate her further.
Tears welled in her eyes as she waved her hand toward him. “I'm sorry I wouldn't talk to you before. Can you forgive me?”
“Do you think we can forgive each other?”
Elise didn't say anything for what seemed like forever. She blinked back the tears and released a heavy sigh, then nodded.
“Thanks.”
“So that's how you came to have Olivia.”
“Not quite. That's just how I started looking for her.”
“Was Sophie still in Key West?”
Seth shook his head. “She wasn't there, and no one I talked to seemed to know where she'd gone.”
“So what did you do then?”
“A couple of people suggested she might have gone back to Atlanta, where she'd lived before.”
“Was she there?”
“No.”
“How did you find her?”
“I didn't.”
“Then howâ”
“How did I get Olivia?”
Elise nodded.
Seth took a deep breath. “I received a call saying Sophie intended to give Olivia up for adoption.”
“Why?” Shock sounded in Elise's voice.
“I'm not sure.” Seth stared at his cast, breaking eye contact with Elise. He didn't want to see her reaction to what he was about to say. She didn't think much of him. She'd made that quite clear when she ended their relationship. His own guilt over the situation didn't help. Would the rest of the story change her mind or only confirm what she already believed about him?
“What did the caller say?”
“The woman only mentioned the adoption and that I was listed as the father on the birth certificate.”
“So you didn't know anything about Sophie's frame of mind?”
Seth still couldn't bring himself to look at Elise. He didn't want to tell this part of the story, but he had to be honest with her. “Not at that time, but she'd told me during our confrontation in Key West that she was thinking about giving up Olivia for adoption. I didn't care then, because I didn't think she was mine.”
“What did you do?”
“I immediately took a paternity test, which proved I was Olivia's father just as Sophie had said. I'd done nothing to help her, and I knew that was a terrible mistake.”
“Did you talk to Sophie?”
Finally looking at Elise again, Seth shook his head. “I didn't have any contact with her. I tried, but everything was done through a third party, so I never had the chance to say I was sorry. I guess she didn't want anything to do with me.”
“Does she know you have Olivia?”
Seth shrugged. “All I know is she signed away her parental rights, and I got custody.”
“Why didn't she come after you again for child support?”
“I have no idea.” Seth hated that he'd refused to help Sophie when she'd asked. He'd only been thinking of his anger. He'd wanted to hurt her, as she'd hurt him with her deception, and he hadn't given a second thought to the blameless child trapped between them. Elise had been right to disapprove of his behavior. But what did that mean for them now? Would she always see him as the guy who'd refused to help his own child and her motherâthe guy whose actions caused a little girl's mother to give up her parental rights? Could he ever live that down?
“Don't you wonder what happened to Sophie?”
Seth swallowed hard. That was a loaded question. Elise was obviously wondering what had happened to Sophie. He'd respected her wishes not to contact her, but sometimes
he wondered if his actions were driven by something other than respect, because remembering her put his guilt front and center. The pain in his heart over the situation matched the pain in his body.
When he didn't answer immediately, Elise stood. “Are you getting tired? Maybe I should go now.”
“Please don't.” Seth reached out his hand but let it fall to his side when Elise backed away. His heart crumbled.
“I've been praying for Sophie. I know that doesn't do away with the awful way I treated her, but I never had a chance to ask for her forgiveness.” Seth held Elise's gaze. “But I'm glad I have the chance to tell you I'm sorry for the way I acted.”
“I'll pray for Sophie, too.” Surprise painted Elise's expression. “And I'm glad we've had this chance to talk. I accept your apology.”
“I appreciate that.” Seth said a silent prayer of thanksgiving that Elise had accepted his apology and that they'd found common ground on at least one thingâprayers for Sophie.
“I really do have to go now.” Elise stood and started for the door.
“Thanks for coming. Good night.” Seth wanted to ask whether she planned to visit again, but he didn't want to sound too needy, even though he was right now. He watched her leave the room again without a backward glance. Did he have any hope that she saw him in a different light? He had to learn to leave those kinds of questions in God's hands.
T
he early-morning sun glinted off the windshield of the multicolored moving van. It lumbered to a stop along the curb in front of the white clapboard house trimmed with black shutters where Seth would eventually live. Red and yellow tulips displayed their vivid blooms in front yards all along the quiet street a few blocks from the center of town.
Elise parked her car across the street and hurried to the front door. When she stepped onto the porch that went across the entire front of the house, Maggie opened the door, and Olivia ran out. “Hi, 'Lise.”
“Hi, Olivia. How are you this morning?”
Giggling, she raced back and forth across the porch. As she made another pass, Elise grabbed the little girl and picked her up. The child giggled again. The sound warmed Elise's heart.
“Good morning. Olivia is going to keep you on your toes today. She is full of extra energy.” Maggie motioned for Elise to come in. “The moving van is on time, and God has provided us with a perfect day for moving Seth's things, hasn't He?”
“Absolutely.” Stepping inside, Elise realized she should
have Maggie's attitude. Elise needed God's sunshine in her soul, as well as the sunshine outside.
Elise surveyed the inside of the house as she set Olivia down. The child scampered to the coloring book she'd spread on the dark hardwood floor, picked it up and raced back to Elise, her little footsteps echoing through the empty living room. “Look.”
“What do you have here?” Elise gazed at the child. Her sweet little face reminded her of Seth's earnest expression when he'd confessed to her. His story had caught her off guard, putting a whole new slant on his behavior. He'd still done wrong, but she understood his actions better now. She'd told the truth when she'd said she'd forgiven him. But where did that leave them? Forgiveness couldn't erase the memory of the fight they'd had over Sophie, or the way it had made her question everything they'd shared.
So what now? She couldn't help remembering Seth's statement about God using even the bad stuff in our lives. Did Seth believe his accident had brought with it the chance for them to reconcile? Was that even what he wanted, or was her forgiveness his only goal?
Elise shook away all the questions as Olivia shoved the coloring book at her. “See my picture?”
“Very nice.”
“For my daddy.” Her expression filled with concern. “My daddy's hurt.”
Again, the child's expression touched Elise. Hoping to waylay Olivia's fears, Elise hunkered down next to the little girl. “I visited your daddy in the hospital the other day. He's doing much better.”
“I love my daddy.”
Me, too.
The words popped into Elise's head. The unexpected thought froze her brain for a moment. She shook the words away before they could settle in her mind. They weren't
true. They were far from the truth. Any love she had for Seth was in the pastâdead and gone. She'd moved onâ¦hadn't she?
Did it matter that he'd changed? Did it matter that he'd asked for forgiveness and displayed a completely different attitude? That was what scared her. These changes were breaking down her resistance to his charm. She'd felt her resolve to keep her distance crumbling while she'd stood next to his hospital bed. When he'd reached out to her, she'd almost taken his hand. Just in time, she'd backed away.
She could forgive him. She could help him with Olivia. She could help him find a place in the community, but she couldn't go as far as being a close friend. For her own peace of mind, she should keep her distance. She'd fooled herself once into believing that he loved her and that they could be happy together, but she wouldn't let herself be fooled again.
Olivia tugged on Elise's pant leg and brought her thoughts to an abrupt end. “Be my friend?”
Elise's heart turned over as she read the expectation in Olivia's eyes. The question buzzed through Elise's mind. Would being a friend to Olivia mean being friends with her father? Was Olivia's request God's way of showing Elise what to do? She didn't know the answer, but she couldn't deny the little girl's request. “Okay. We can be friends.”
Twirling around the room, Olivia clapped her hands.
While Elise watched with amusement, her mother and several women from the Ladies' Circle at church arrived. After Maggie opened the door, the women scurried inside, all of them talking and laughing at once as they exclaimed over Olivia. The little girl drank up the attention.
Olivia entertained the ladies, and Maggie talked with the movers. Elise continued to watch the little girl, who was a charmer just like her father. Elise wondered whether she would always see Seth when she looked at Olivia.
Barbara stepped away from the group of ladies and joined Elise. “You should walk to the park so Olivia can play. Then you can go up to the hospital and visit Seth.”
Elise's stomach sank at her mother's second suggestion.
Are you trying to run my life?
The question sat on the tip of Elise's tongue, but she pressed her lips together in an effort not to voice it. Her mother meant well. “I suppose it would be a good idea to get her out of the way while the movers and all of you ladies are working.”
Barbara nodded. “And I know she'd like to visit her daddy.”
“I'll play it by ear.” Was her mother trying to push Seth and her together? Elise tried to erase the speculation from her thoughts. Her own worries about Seth were making her paranoid.
Although Elise hadn't visited Seth again after their talk, she knew she had to work at keeping her promise to forgive him. And that meant she couldn't always avoid him. Seth was making an effort to lead a different life. He'd become a Christian, and she needed to treat him as a brother in the Lord. That was the hardest part. Could she love him like a brother without letting old feelings creep into her thoughts? Despite the changes he'd made in his life, she didn't even want to entertain the idea of a relationship with him. They couldn't go back. It wouldn't work.
Â
“How's our patient this morning?” Dr. Daubenmire stopped at the foot of the bed and studied the medical chart.
“I'd be a whole lot better if those nurses would let me sleep.” Seth pressed the control on his bed to make it rise to a sitting position. “Hospital life has begun to weigh on me. I think those nurses are trying to kill me rather than heal me.”
Dr. Daubenmire smiled. “What would you say if I told you
that we're releasing you tomorrow? I've consulted with Dr. Bryant, and he agrees.”
“Are you serious?” Seth couldn't help grinning. “You mean, I get to go home?”
“I didn't say you get to go home. I'm releasing you to the nursing home.”
Seth frowned. “Nursing home? Isn't that for old people?”
The doctor chuckled. “You're going to need rehab. That's a great place to get it.”
Just as Seth was about to protest, Elise appeared in the doorway, holding Olivia's hand and carrying a vase of flowers. “May we come in, or should we wait?”
Seth's pulse quickened at the sight of Elise and his daughter standing together. They looked so right, but he couldn't let his mind go there. His heart was jumping too far ahead of reality. He still needed to gain Elise's trust before he could ever think about them reuniting as a couple. He hoped they could fall in love again, but he had to be patient.
Dr. Daubenmire stepped away from the bed. “Come right in. I was just leaving.”
“Hi, Daddy.” Olivia raced into the room, then pointed to Elise. “See what we bringed you?”
“Hi, sweetheart.” Seth heart turned to mush every time he heard that little voice calling him Daddy. And to think he'd almost refused to be part of her life. He couldn't imagine that now. “What did you bring me?”
“Flowers. You like?”
Elise placed the vase on the bedside table, then looked at Dr. Daubenmire. “How's the patient?”
“Doing great.” The doctor turned toward the door. “I've got other patients to see, so I'll let Seth tell you his good news.”
“Good news?” Elise picked up Olivia and stepped closer to the bed but kept her gaze focused on Olivia.
“I'm getting out of here tomorrow.”
“Did you hear that, Olivia? Your daddy gets out of the hospital tomorrow.”
“Daddy come home?”
Seth sighed. “Well, not exactly.”
Elise finally turned his way, a little frown puckering her brow. “What do you mean, not exactly?”
“Doc says I have to go to the nursing home for rehab.”
Grinning, Elise set Olivia on the edge of the bed. “I know that probably sounds crazy to you, but they have the best rehab facility in town. One of my cousins is a physical therapist there. They're all fantastic. Besides, you wouldn't be able to take care of yourself or Olivia at home.”
“True.” Seth reached over and gave Olivia a hug with one arm. “Where did you get the flowers?”
“I picked them.”
Seth glanced up at Elise. “She did?”
Elise gave him a lopsided grin. “Tulips and lilacs from your yard.”
“You've been to my house?”
“They're moving your stuff in today, or did you forget?”
“Oh, yeah, this is Friday.” Seth leaned back in the bed. “Mom mentioned that yesterday. All the days and nights seem to flow together in here.”
“They're making terrific progress. Your mom has everything under control. With your mom, my mom and the other ladies from church putting things away, you'll have the neatest house in town.”
“Yeah. Until I move into it.” Chuckling, Seth gazed at Olivia. “Have you been a good girl for Grandma?”
Olivia nodded her head, her curls bobbing. “Yes.”
“I'm glad to hear that.” Seth glanced up at Elise to see her reaction to Olivia's pronouncement.
“Olivia has been very busy today, haven't you?” Elise looked down at his daughter.
“'Lise taked me to the park.”
“Did you have fun?”
“I swinged and slided on the slide.”
“Great!” Seth patted Olivia on the head.
“Are you going to show your daddy what you made him?”
Nodding, Olivia fished an envelope from the pocket of her jacket and handed it to Seth. “For you.”
“Thank you. It's very nice.” Seth examined the envelope decorated with a big red heart and the words “I love you” printed in neat block letters. He knew Olivia hadn't written the words or made the heart. Was this his mother's work or Elise's? It was silly to speculate. Even if Elise had written the words, they were Olivia's feelings, not Elise's.
“'Lise drawed the heart.” Olivia patted the carefully drawn heart. “See inside.”
“Okay.” Seth ripped open the envelope. Inside he found a folded piece of paper. He unfolded it and surveyed the picture of a teddy bear colored pink as only a two-and-a-half-year-old could color. “You did this all by yourself?”
Olivia nodded. “Pink.”
“That's right. Pink it is. You did a great job.” Seth gave Olivia another hug, then turned his attention to Elise. “What else did you do today?”
“All the ladies and Olivia and I had lunch at my cousin's café.”
“That's where I was supposed to have breakfast the morning of the accident. How about going there with me to celebrate my getting sprung from this place?” Seth waved a hand around the room, then realized what he'd done when he saw Elise's wary expression. He'd practically asked her for a date. Would including Olivia ease Elise's unease? “I'm sure Olivia would like to go again, wouldn't you?”
Elise's expression didn't change as she smiled at Olivia,
not at him. “I'm sure she would, but I hardly think you'll be able to go to the café to eat until after you go through your rehab.”
“Really?”
“Really. Surely Dr. Daubenmire has explained everything to you.”
Seth gazed out the window. Yeah. The doctor had gone over the timeline for recovery, but Seth had somehow figured it wouldn't be like that for him. He'd beat the odds and be on his feet in no time. He had a new job to start and a little girl to take care of. How was he going to do all that and rehab, too? Getting out of the hospital was only the first step in a long recovery. “He did, butâ”
“But you thought somehow all that stuff wasn't going to apply to you, right?”
Shaking his head, Seth couldn't help smiling. Elise had nearly spoken his thoughts. “How did you know?”
“Because I know you.”
She knows me.
The thought rattled around in his head. She knew the old Seth, not the new one. He had to make her see the new-and-improved version of Seth Finley. Each encounter with her reaffirmed his feelings. He was still in love with Elise Keller. She'd captured his heart on the high seas, and when she'd walked out of his life, she'd taken his heart with her. Nothing he'd said or done at the time had been enough to change her mind. Then going home to help his mother had left him without another chance to persuade her to take him back. Though he couldn't fault her for walking away, he couldn't stop wanting her back. What were the chances he could win her heart again?
Did he dare dispute her assessment? “You think you know me, but I think I'll surprise you.”
“We'll see.” She gave him a pensive look as she rummaged in her satchel and brought out a coloring book and crayons.
“Olivia, would you like to color another picture for your daddy?”
Olivia nodded as Elise pushed the tray table up next to the bed so the little girl could use it as a desk. Elise laid several crayons on the table next to the open coloring book. Olivia immediately picked up the pink crayon and began to scribble on the picture of a tree. A pink tree. Seth smiled.
“Hey, everyone.” Barbara waltzed into the room.
“Mom, what are you doing here?”