Homecoming Hero (12 page)

“You could say that.” He swallowed, determined to get his apology out before she continued with whatever else she had to say. “Look, Hailey, I'm sorry I—”

“Don't mention it.” She waved a hand in disregard, cutting off his apology midsentence. “You've been busy. The important thing is that we're both here now, feeling unnecessarily awkward with one another. Let's not do this. Let's just move on, okay?”

Stunned she was going to let him off that easily, he cleared his throat. “I like that idea.”

He wanted to say more but out of the corner of his eye he saw J.T. bearing down on them. Whatever the pastor had to say, Wolf didn't want to hear it right now.

“Let's get out of here,” he suggested, keeping his eyes on J.T.

Following his gaze, Hailey made a soft sound of impatience in her throat. “We agree on something at last.”

Even though Wolf gave J.T. a back-off glare the pastor closed the distance with clipped strides. “Just wanted to thank you for another great class, Captain.” He held up his fist, knuckles facing Wolf.

Wolf forced down his impatience and pounded J.T.'s fist with his own. “Thanks.”

Lowering his hand, J.T. looked from Wolf to Hailey then back again. He repeated the process two more times, a slow smile tugging at his lips on the last pass.

“What?” Wolf demanded.

“I see I'm interrupting. I'll just leave you two alone so you can speak in private.”

With a surprisingly quick gait, he hustled out of the room, practically dragging the last two stragglers with him. He shut the door behind them with a decided click.

Okay. Good. Wolf was completely alone with Hailey. Here was his chance. “I really am sorry I didn't call you all week.”

She regarded him with a complicated array of female emotions no man could ever hope to decipher. “Understandable. I gave you a lot to think about.”

“Nevertheless,” he said carefully, not sure why she was being so nice about this. “My silence was rude.”

“Okay, yes, it
was
rude. But you're forgiven.” Her tone held nothing but sincerity. The woman was actually letting him off the hook. No questions asked. No explanations needed. Grace personified.

Wolf's heart dipped in his chest. But then reality set in. “Hailey, I like you,” he admitted. “More than I can put into words.”

“But…?”

Grimacing, he stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Who said there's a ‘but'?”

“There's always a ‘but' when a man starts a sentence with those three horrible words,
I like you.
” She sighed dramatically. “It's the kiss of death to any relationship.”

They had a relationship?

Of course they did. But not like she meant. And not like he wanted.

“Okay, you're right. There is a ‘but.' You see, no matter how much I like you, and would love to explore
what comes next, we can't forget that Clay is standing between us. And probably always will.”

Even if Wolf managed to keep Hailey out of the Middle East, even if she didn't grow to hate him because of it, they would never know if they were together because of their shared bond over Clay or because they truly worked as a couple.

Talk about a stalemate.

She notched her chin a fraction higher. “Then we have to get to know one another without him around.”

Not possible. “How do you suggest we do that?”

“We go somewhere that doesn't remind either of us of my brother.”

He snorted. “That place doesn't exist.”

Her gaze turned thoughtful. Planting one hand on her hip, she tapped her chin with the other. “We just need to find a way to understand one another's position better, without your promise to Clay muddying the process.”

As if he was the only stubborn one in the room. “Or your determination to honor his death complicating things, either.”

“Fair enough.”

She fell silent and got a faraway look in her eyes. “Perhaps instead of looking to the future, we have to go back to the past. Yes, that just might be the answer.”

He hated that idea. His past was best left buried. He regretted revealing the ugly circumstances of his childhood to this woman, yet it was too late to recall the words. Besides, Wolf wasn't ready to quit on her, on them. “What did you have in mind?”

“I need to introduce you to the person I used to be. Then you'll better understand the person I've become and why I have to go to the Middle East as planned.”

Why would Wolf want to meet the old Hailey? He liked the new one just fine.

“Come on, Wolf. We have to try something.”

She seemed pretty definite, like she had it all figured out in her head. Which did not instill a lot of confidence in him. On the contrary. “What sort of ‘something' are we talking about here?”

“Well…” She secured her gaze on a spot just off center of his face. “I have to attend a dinner and silent auction this weekend. We're raising money for inner-city children.”

Despite the noble cause, Wolf felt his shoulders bunch with tension. “Where's this event being held?”

“At the country club.”

No way. He'd been to a country club once. In college, with a girl he'd been dating at the time. He couldn't remember the particulars, but he remembered feeling uncomfortable and out of place all night long. The evening had ended badly. “I don't do country clubs.”

“But surely you'll make an exception this time.” She touched his arm and gave him “the look,” the same one that had prompted him to fire up his motorcycle against his better judgment.

The woman had a way of making him forget logic and reason.

He choked down a gulp of air.

“The dinner is the most efficient way for me to show you who I used to be.”

He didn't want to know. No good could come of this. “I don't own a tux,” he said, cringing at the note of desperation he heard in his voice.

“Wear your dress blues.” She gave him a good, long once-over. “It's hard to resist a man in uniform.”

Doomed. He was absolutely powerless in the face
of all that female persuasion. “All right. I'll go.” He grasped at the remaining scrap of his pride. “Under one condition.”

Her lips curled into a feline smile. “Name it.”

Oh, she was feeling smug now.
Let's see how long that lasts.

“I'll brave the country club with you—” he nearly choked on the words “—if you go skydiving with me first.”

She gave him a burst of strangled laughter. Her gaze darted around the room, landing everywhere but on him. “I couldn't possibly jump out of an airplane.”

Of course not. Hence the suggestion. “That's my condition, Hailey.” He held firm. “Take it or leave it.”

She gaped at him for several seconds. “You're serious.”

“I am.” He gave her his best wolf grin. Yeah, he had a few tricks himself. “Not to worry, though. I'll make sure you get proper training before you have to jump out on your own.”

“You want me to jump a…alone?” she squeaked. “Not hooked to someone who knows what he's doing?”

“I'll be right next to you, holding on until you pull the rip cord.”

“I…I…”

“Where's that new adventurous streak of yours?” he goaded. “The one that's gonna carry you halfway across the world to a war-torn region?”

She muttered something under her breath, the words sounding jumbled and not very nice at all. Something about a baboon and unfair tactics and…

Best not to decode the rest.

“Come on, Hailey. All you have to do is go skydiving
with me—” he held a perfectly timed pause “—and then I'll brave the big, bad country club with you.”

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and smiled. He had her. There would be no country club in his future.

But then she straightened her shoulders and pulled her lips into a tight little rosebud of defiance. “All right, big boy. You're on. I'll go skydiving with you.” Yeah, right.

He leaned in close to her ear, turning the screws. “Bring your sunscreen, baby, we're going to get pretty high up there. Wouldn't want you to get burned.”

“Don't you worry about me,
baby
. I'll be fine. Super-duper fine.” She poked him hard in the chest.

“Just make sure your dress uniform is clean by Saturday night. I want to show you off to all the fine ladies of Savannah. They love getting to know young, good-looking,
single
military officers.”

He nearly choked on his own breath.

Somehow, while he'd been congratulating himself on his own brilliance, she'd done it again. The feisty little tiger had turned the tables on him.

Hailey O'Brien was turning out to be one formidable woman.

And Wolf was turning out to be a man who couldn't say no to her.

T
he sound of the airplane engine reminded Hailey far too much of Stella's obnoxious growl. Perhaps that explained why she couldn't stop shaking. Or maybe she wasn't really shaking at all. It was hard to tell with the two-seater airplane vibrating like an overexcited Chihuahua.

Wolf's muscle car had nothing on this contraption.

When they'd arrived at the airfield with the jumpmaster, the exterior of the tiny airplane had looked passable enough. But then all three of them had taken their places inside and Hailey had discovered the interior, save the pilot's seat, had been gutted so that it could hold extra skydivers.

Now that they'd taken off, she glanced over the jumpmaster's head at the gaping hole on their right, the spot where a door was supposed to be.

Gulping for air, she quickly turned her head the other way. But her gaze landed on the grinning man beside her and her stomach dipped to her toes.

Wolf's expression held far too much glee. And maybe even a little bit of crazy.

Why wasn't he more concerned they were about to
jump out of an airplane at thirteen thousand feet? That was over two miles above the ground.

And they were in a flying tin can, with only a few scraps of material, strapped to their backs, preventing them from falling, literally, straight to their deaths.

Hailey wasn't just scared. She was petrified.

Wolf must have read her mind, because he reached out and squeezed her hand. “Don't worry,” he yelled over the airplane's roar. “I packed our chutes myself.”

That gave her a measure of relief. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough.

She slammed her eyes shut, telling herself this was a large, courageous step in the right direction to becoming a woman of adventure. If she lived through this, Wolf had to go to the country club with her tonight. The two didn't seem equally scary in her mind, but apparently they were in Wolf's. It was all about perception, she supposed.

Keeping her eyes firmly shut, she ran through the instructions the jumpmaster, Ken, had drilled into her head all morning. As soon as the pilot cut the engine—and wasn't that a frightening prospect?—the three of them were supposed to climb on the wing of the airplane and fall backward so they could clear the airplane.

She was then supposed to assume a position similar to a belly flop and simply enjoy the ride for seven thousand feet. Wolf and Ken would be on either side, guiding her. When the time came, they would release her and she would pull the rip cord on her own.

This, of course, was all assuming she was still conscious. A high possibility since the temperature was at least thirty degrees colder at this altitude.

She felt a tap on her shoulder. Unhappy with the interruption, she cracked open one eye.

“Tell me that isn't a spectacular view,” Wolf shouted, pointing to the ground below.

Taking a deep breath, Hailey stabbed a glance out the window. They were flying directly above the ocean, but the shoreline was in clear sight.

Okay, yes, the view was beautiful. Unfortunately, Hailey couldn't tell Wolf she agreed with him. She was too busy remembering the jumpmaster's warning about landing in the ocean. If that little disaster occurred and she didn't get out of the parachute quickly enough, the water could drag her under. To death by drowning.

And Wolf considered this fun?

The man had a death wish. Pure and simple.

Jamaica, Haiti, the Middle East, whether she spent a week or a lifetime in any of those locales, she didn't think she'd feel as concerned about her life as she did now.

The pilot cut the engine.

The sudden silence took Hailey by surprise and she nearly choked on her own gasp.

“It's go time,” Wolf said cheerfully.

Lord, please, please, get me through this alive. I don't want to go splat on the ground.
“I'm ready.”

She quit thinking so hard and let her training kick in. Just as Ken had instructed, she followed him onto the wing of the airplane, one terrifying step at a time.

Clinging to the metal structure, she scooted over far enough for Wolf to join them.

She didn't dare look down.

Wolf's hand closed over hers. “I'm right here with you. Every step of the way.”

She gave him a shaky smile.

“We do this together,” Ken reminded her.

“Right. Together.” She turned her palm and pressed it flat against Wolf's. Her fear cut in half.

“On three.” He squeezed her hand then let go. “One. Two.”

“Three,”
she shouted and then leaned backward.

Her feet tumbled over her head.

She only had time for impressions after that. Wolf and Ken were still on either side of her, holding her steady. The wind slapped her in the face so hard she could barely breathe, the noise of it screaming through her ears at a deafening level.

She checked the altimeter on her wrist, shocked to see she'd already fallen three thousand feet.

Wolf tugged on her jumpsuit. She glanced in his direction. He gave her a thumbs-up.

A few more seconds passed before Wolf and Ken let her go. That was her signal to take control. She threw the rip cord and felt rather than heard the Velcro release her parachute.

She braced for a hard jerk as the parachute began filling with air, but her feet floated gently below her.

Amazed at how easy the transition had been from free fall to floating, Hailey reached for the toggles. She practiced steering by pulling on one and then the other. At last, she allowed herself to look down.

The view was amazing. Blue sky, green water, sandy beach. How could anybody witness all this beauty and not believe in God?

With her senses poised on high alert, Hailey drank in the experience. Every sight, sound and smell consumed her.

Both Wolf and Ken landed several minutes ahead of her. Wolf gathered his parachute with quick, jerky tugs, all the while searching the sky for her.

She waved at him.

He waved back and then dropped the chute so that he could make a cradle with his arms, as if he were waiting to catch her if she fell.

It was a joke, but a really sweet one with all kinds of symbolism she didn't have time to unravel.

Landing on the beach turned out to be somewhat anticlimcatic. She pulled hard on the toggles and hit the ground, feetfirst, with a soft thud.

Joy burst through her.

“I did it. I did it. I did it.” Hopping from one foot to the other, she pumped her fists in the air in her own version of a happy-dance.

Wolf scooped her up into a hug that lifted her several feet in the air.

Overwhelmed with emotion, she clung to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “That was amazing.”

He set her on the ground and kissed her smack on the lips. “
You're
amazing.”

They stared at each other. Both breathing hard. She wanted this man in her life. Always. But did he want to be in hers? Or was his promise to Clay the only thing keeping him here?

She hated that she didn't know the answer to that, that he might not know for sure, either.

Wolf broke eye contact first and went about systematically removing the rest of his parachute, mainly the now-empty container still strapped to his back.

Ken joined them and gave Hailey a high five. “Well done, beautiful. One of the best first jumps I've ever witnessed.”

“It was fantastic.”

He helped her out of her parachute then turned to Wolf. “I need to get back to post. I have a buddy
picking me up at the lighthouse. You two need a ride into town?”

Wolf shook his head. “We dropped off my car earlier this morning.”

“Good enough.” He smiled at Hailey and then handed her a small business card. “Let me know if you ever want to do this again. I'm only a phone call away.”

She thought she heard Wolf growl. Surely she was mistaken? “Thanks, Ken,” she said. “But once was enough for me.”

“If you change your mind…”

She smiled. “I'll call.”

“Sounds good.” He walked over to Wolf, said something in a low tone. Wolf nodded. They both laughed, then Ken slapped him on the back.

“All right. See you two later.” Ken headed out, waving a hand over his head in farewell.

Watching him leave with his parachute bunched in his arms, Hailey realized she was still jumping from foot to foot. “I can't seem to stand still.”

“It's the adrenaline.” Wolf slanted an unreadable glance in her direction. “It'll wear off soon.”

She wanted it to wear off now. She hated this nagging, uncomfortable feeling, as if she were ready to jump out of her own skin. Too many emotions collided into one another. Excitement, fear, relief, joy and something else, something darker, something she couldn't quite name.

“So.” She bounced toward Wolf. “What happens when the adrenaline finally wears off?”

He didn't like the question. She could see it in the way his hands paused over folding his parachute.

“You're gonna feel exhausted in a few minutes. Maybe even a little depressed. But it'll go away soon
enough and then you'll be ready for your next jolt.
Jump.
I meant, jump.”

No, he'd meant jolt. “That sounds almost like…like…an addiction.”

He didn't respond. But the uneasy look in his eyes told her she was right.

Was Wolf hooked on adrenaline? Was that why he drove a ridiculously fast car, owned a motorcycle, jumped out of airplanes?

“Wolf? Is that why you do this?” She waved her hand in a wide arc. “For the rush?”

“No.” He answered quickly, seeming very sure of himself.

“Then why?”

“It's complicated.”

She waited for him to say more. But he just stared at the water. And stared. And stared.

Why wouldn't he explain himself?

Still looking out over the ocean, he discarded his parachute and then sat down, right there where he'd been standing. He drew his legs up and caged his knees inside his clasped hands.

Hailey joined him on the sand, hugging her own legs to her chest.

“I don't know why I jump out of airplanes, Hailey. I don't analyze it. I just do it.”

There was more to it than that, but for now she accepted his explanation, determined not to push him. She sensed his reasons were tied to what happened to him in Iraq, but she wasn't sure. The not-knowing was the hard part.

For several minutes they sat in silence. Hailey watched the waves crash onto the shore, one on top of
another, never ending, never ceasing. Like God's grace, freely offered to all who wanted it.

“If I was going to analyze my motives,” Wolf said at last, “I'd probably say it's a test.”

“A test?” she repeated. “For who? You?”

“No.” He drew a circle in the sand with the toe of his boot. “I guess I'm testing God. I need to know if I was really meant to survive that attack, or if the Lord made a mistake. I need to know if
I
was a mistake.”

Tears filled her eyes. How could such a courageous, competent man think he was a mistake, when he had so much to offer the world? “Oh, Wolf. God doesn't sit on some royal throne up in heaven, picking and choosing who lives and who dies.”

He lowered his chin to his chest. “What if He does?”

She gathered her words carefully. “I don't know why the others died. Some things we'll never completely understand until we get to heaven. It was just their time. You were left behind for a reason. The Heavenly Father has a plan for your life.”

“He can't use me.” A devastated look flashed in his eyes. “I can't be trusted. Look what happened on that roadside.”

Lord, he's not hearing me.
“You can't keep blaming yourself, Wolf. It's unproductive.”

He buried his face in his hands. His words were muffled, but she thought she heard him say he should have seen the bomb.

“Okay, Wolf, let's go with that. Let's say that, yes, you should have seen the bomb. Now what?”

He dropped his hands and leveled a shocked gaze on her. “What do you mean?”

“Supposing the accident was your fault. What then?
Do you spend the rest of your life making amends? Or maybe you chase the next adrenaline high, until you ultimately kill yourself?”

He flattened his lips into a grim line. “I'm careful.”

“Nobody's
that
careful.”

He grew silent.

Oh, no. He didn't get to shut down on her now. They'd started down this road. They were going all the way. “If you're right, Wolf, and you are to blame for your men's deaths, then, I repeat, what comes next?”

“I…” He blinked, then shook his head slowly, miserably. “I don't know.”

“Well, I do.” In fact, she knew exactly what came next. “You forgive yourself. That's what. God has already forgiven you.” She leaned forward and touched her lips gently to his cheek. “
I've
forgiven you. Now it's your turn, Wolf.”

His eyes hardened. “What? You think everything's going to fall into place after I forgive myself? Is that what you're saying?” His voice held a large amount of bitterness, but Hailey also heard an unmistakable twinge of hope underneath. Just enough to make her feel they'd made progress here today.

“Not all at once. But, yes, Wolf. Everything starts to get better
after
you forgive yourself.”