Home Bound (20 page)

I still desperately wanted Cole.

I was trying not to think about him on Friday afternoon as I ran hard on my treadmill. I preferred to do yoga or Pilates, but I had so much excess emotional energy lately that I needed to channel it into something more intense. So I was running hard and fast, sweat streaming down my face and skin under my clothes, hoping Cole was okay, that he wasn’t sinking into depression, that he hadn’t heard bad news when he went to hear the results of the accident that would send him into a downward spiral.

It hurt that there was nothing I could do. I didn’t even know where he was.

I gave a little jump when Cali came into the room, holding a package. “This was just delivered for you,” she said. “Do you want me to open it for you?”

“Yeah,” I huffed, slowing down just a little. I got packages fairly regularly, but they’d made me squirrely for the last few weeks, ever since I’d gotten the twisted gifts from Janelle.

The days were long gone when packages made me feel loved, like the candy my granddad used to send.

Cali put the box on the table, and I focused on running. But something struck me as familiar about the size of the package.

It was in a regular packing box, but the size looked familiar.

When she got the outer box open, I understood why.

It was a pretty pink box with silver swirl—one I’d seen many, many times before.

Inside, there would be caramels.

I jerked to a stop in my astonishment, nearly stumbling off the treadmill in my rush.

“How pretty,” Cali said. “It looks like that candy you used to get.” She’d been my P.A. since I was thirteen, so she might remember the boxes too.

My grandfather died when I was seventeen, and he’d sent them to me every week until he died.

I ran over to the table and lifted the lid of the box with shaky hands. As expected, there were two dozen wrapped caramels from the little confectioner’s shop in Hillsville, Indiana, my grandparents’ hometown.

It was the only place in the world you could get these particular caramels.

I stared down at them, dazed and stunned and sweaty and starting to shake with a building wave of emotion.

“There’s no card,” Cali said, looking through the packing box. “And nothing on the label except Hillsville Candy. Do you think these are safe? I’m not sure you should eat something you don’t know where it came from.”

“I know where it came from,” I managed to say, in a voice that didn’t sound quite like me.

“Are you okay?”

I wiped away some of the sweat with my hands. Then remembered the towel hanging on a chair nearby, so I went to grab it. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“Who is this from?”

It had to be Cole. It
had
to be. He was the only person I’d ever told about how much the caramels meant to me. No one else in the world would know to buy them for me.

I’d told him they made me feel loved. Surely he would remember that. Surely he wouldn’t send me these unless they meant something about his own feelings.

I was so overwhelmed with this recognition that I had to sit down abruptly, since my knees were about to buckle.

Cali went to grab my water bottle from the treadmill and brought it over for me, and I drank gratefully. “So,” she asked slowly, “Is this a good breakdown or a bad one? Because I’m not sure I can stand another stalker so soon.”

“Not a stalker,” I managed to say. “It’s good.”

Her face relaxed. “Oh. Good.” Then she seemed to realize something. “They’re from Cole, aren’t they?”

I didn’t answer with words, but my face must have reflected the truth.

Cali clapped her hands together. “Thank God! It’s about time he manned up and did something.”

I gave her a narrow-eyed look, but she just laughed it off.

Evidently, my intimidating glares weren’t terribly intimidating. I’d have to take some lessons from Cole.

The idea that Cole might actually be around to give me glaring lessons make me so happy I propelled to my feet.

I wanted to see him. Now. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to touch him, kiss him, be with him completely.

But I still didn’t know where he was, and he hadn’t left any sort of message.

Was he expecting me to hunt him down? Was it a gesture of affection that wasn’t a promise of any sort of future?

I was in such an emotional flurry that I couldn’t think of anything in the world to do. So I did the obvious thing.

I took a shower.

***

W
hen I got out of the shower and changed in clean clothes, I came out and found Jimmy talking to Cali at my kitchen bar.

They’d obviously been talking about me. Probably about Cole and the caramels. They both clammed up immediately when I made an appearance.

“Hi, Jimmy,” I said with a smile. I was used to people showing up without warning—so I wasn’t surprised to see him there, even though he hadn’t called to tell me he was coming. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to be the way other people were, to have the privacy and anonymity that most people took for granted. But losing it was part of this job, part of being a celebrity.

If I didn’t like it, I could just quit.

It was nice to know that was an option, if I ever decided to take it. Not yet, though.

“What’s going on?” I asked, since he never turned up just to hang out. There was always a reason.

“Cali and I were talking,” he said with a smile. “We think you need to increase your security staff.”

I frowned. “What are you talking about? Is there something happening that I don’t—“

“No, no,” he interrupted, his smile fading. “Nothing like that. Just as a precaution.”

I sighed and rubbed my face, trying to focus on this rather than on what the caramels meant, whether they meant what I thought they meant. “Okay. I guess that’s fine.”

Jimmy nodded and stood up. “Good. You’ll want to interview anyone we hire first, right?”

“Sure, I guess. I mean, I’d like to meet them first, if they’re going to be lurking around me all the time to make sure I’d be comfortable with them.” This whole conversation felt strange. Not at all how the normal processes worked with my hiring any sort of staff. I had no idea what was wrong with Jimmy.

“Good. I’ve got someone for you to interview now.”

I blinked at him. “What are you talking about?”

“I have someone now. For you to interview. He’s just outside.”

I still had no idea what was happening. None at all. “Why is there someone outside? Why didn’t you tell me about it before?” I turned for help to Cali. “Do you know what’s going on?”

She gave a little shrug, obviously hiding a smile. “I think you should interview the applicant.”

“Fine. Send him in, I guess.”

I know it might sound crazy, but I was still completely oblivious. My mind was so distracted with other thoughts that it couldn’t clearly think through exactly what was occurring right now.

Not until I saw who walked into the room.

Cole.

Not in his normal beat-up trousers and crew-neck shirt, but in a dress shirt and jacket. He still looked kind of rough, with his strong features and perpetual five o’clock shadow, but he’d obviously made a real effort.

I stared, completely dumbfounded.

“Here he is,” Jimmy said, amusement in his tone. “He wants to interview for a security job with you. Cali and I will just leave you alone for your interview.”

Before I could respond or even think, both of them had left, and I was alone with Cole.

His eyes were soft on my face, but also questioning, almost wary.

“What...” I began, swallowing hard.

“I’m here about the security position.”

A waved vaguely at the kitchen stool beside the one I was sitting in. “Okay.”

“I don’t have a resume with me,” he explained, his eyes never leaving mine. “But I’d like an interview just the same.”

“Okay.” I was starting to shake now, knowing, knowing,
knowing
that he wouldn’t be here unless the unspoken message in the caramels was true.

He felt deeply for me. He wanted me to know it for sure.

“I think I’d be good in terms of keeping you secure,” he said. “I don’t have a lot of experience in that kind of security work, but I want to try. For the first time in my life, I want to try.”

“But you said—“

“I was scared. It wasn’t true. You know that, right? I didn’t think I was good enough for you, for a relationship, and so I just ran from everything I was feeling. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to spend a...a long time—making sure you never feel anything but secure.”

I was gasping in response, in rising joy. “You don’t want me to feel anything else?”

“Well,” he said with a wry expression, “I’m hoping you’ll feel some other things as well. More exciting things.”

I swallowed hard. “So you’re saying you want to be a...a permanent member of my security staff.”

“That’s right. I’m asking for no pay.” He lifted his hand to cup my face. “I’ll be getting plenty of benefits that will make up for that.”

“What kind of benefits are you expecting to get?”

“Mainly...you.”

So that might have been the most romantic thing I’d ever heard in my life.

I was smiling when I replied in a lilting voice, “You don’t think you should hold out for something better?”

“There is nothing better. You’re the best I could ever hope for, and I know I blew it before, but I’m hoping you might give me a second chance.”

I hid my face in my hands for a minute, my shoulders shaking as I suppressed the emotion. Then I lowered my hands to beam at him, because there was obviously only one answer I could voice. “Then you have the job.”

He made a rough sound and pulled me into his arms, and I felt utterly safe, utterly secure, utterly at home. No one in the world could make me feel the same way, and I felt like I was flying at the same time.

When we pulled back, his face was twisted with something that looked like regret. “I’m so sorry, Evangeline. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry I threw back what was so good between us as if it didn’t matter. It does matter. You matter. More than anything to me. I’ll make sure you never doubt that again.”

The emotion was too strong, and I had to wipe my eyes a little, but I was barely conscious of doing so. “Thank you for the caramels.”

“You deserve so much more than that.”

After that, I had to kiss him. There was just no way to stop it. So a few minutes passed without much of anything being spoken. I was growing aroused, but my emotions were stronger, and there were more things I needed to know.

“So what happened?” I asked, pulling away and perching on the stool again. “Why did you change your mind?”

He shrugged and glanced away. But turned back to meet my eyes as he spoke. “It just hit home. What was I was doing, over and over again. I was living out the same spiral of not feeling like I was good enough. And I was finally kind of hit over the head with how wrong that was and the kind of negative shit that happened because I was trapped by that idea.”

“What negative shit?” I asked, realizing something really powerful must have happened to snap him out of that spiral. “What happened?” Then I remembered something. “What did you hear about Gavin’s accident?”

He took a shuddering breath. “It was an accident. If anyone was at fault, he was. Not me, although I was sure it must have been me. I was so convinced of it, for no reason except I felt like that was what I deserved.”

I reached out to take both of his hands, thinking through what he’d said. “So no one was guilty.”

“No one. Gavin made a mistake, and he paid for it unfairly. But it wasn’t me, no matter how sure I was. And the funny thing is the other guys thought it was them too. We were all kind of shaped by that event in different ways, and we never even talked about it.”

“But you’re talking now?”

“We’re talking now. I want to turn over a new leaf, do things better. And the main thing I want to do better is to be the man you need.” He cleared his throat. “Assuming that’s what you still want.”

I nearly tackled him with a hug. “I still want. I still want you.”

Then there was more kissing, but who could blame us. I was so happy I wanted to scream it out to anyone in the world who would listen.

Despite his gruff persona, Cole seemed to feel something similar. There was a blaze bursting out through his eyes that was absolutely breathtaking.

“I know you’re still in D.C. and Baltimore,” I said, trying to be reasonable and not just keeping hugging myself. “But I’m sure we can work it out. I mean, we can get together a lot anyway. We’ll make it work.”

“Yeah, there’s some good news on that front. We’re trying to branch out some, and New York is the next place.” He grinned. “So it’s kind of convenient that you’ll be here for the foreseeable future.”

I gasped in surprise and relief. “Very convenient. You really are just right for this job.”

“I would ask for one thing,” he said, reaching out to take my face again, as if he couldn’t quite stop himself.

“What’s that?”

“If we’re going to set up this...partnership, I’d really like to know your real name.”

I giggled, ducking my head to hide my face in his shirt briefly. “I never tell anyone.”

“Well, tell me.”

I cleared my throat. “It’s Eve.”

He smiled. “Eve?”

“Eve. Not as fancy or exotic, but that’s my name anyway.”

“I love it,” he said, his lips brushing gently against mine. “Now I get to call you Eve, when no one else in the world gets to do that.”

“Well, don’t call me that in front of other people. I don’t want it to catch on.”

“My lips are sealed.”

I felt strange and exposed and naked and also safe and respected and treasured. It was such a strange combination of feelings that I could hardly process it.

“So what now?” I asked at last, feeling like everything had changed so much I couldn’t even begin to process it. “I feel like we need to do something after this big overload of feeling.”

“Well, I had an idea.” He nodded toward my bedroom with a half-smile. “If you really want to do something.”

I knew what he was talking about, and it was exactly what I wanted to do too.